


A Stranger's Groom

by SophiaFrederica



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: (kinda), AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Angst, Demisexual Katsuki Yuuri, Domestic, Eventual Smut, F/F, First Time, Fluff, Happy Ending, Honeymoon, M/M, Marriage, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Pining, Romance, Some Humor, Strangers to Lovers, Travel, Weddings, married at first sight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-10-30 23:26:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 90,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10887105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophiaFrederica/pseuds/SophiaFrederica
Summary: Viktor has always felt a strange connection to Bridget Jones, something that Yuri will never understand. Sure, there are quite a few differences between them: first, Viktor doesn’t feel very insecure about his looks (apart from his thinning hairline) and second, he doesn’t embarrass himself regularly. He has also made an amazing career and with his status as a high-class celebrity, he probably won’t need to worry too much about money for the rest of his life. But there’s something in Bridget that Viktor understands better than anyone, the fear of never finding your true love and spending your whole life all alone.Aka "Married at First Sight" AU where both Yuuri and Viktor apply for the said reality television show, become a match and spend 5 weeks together as a married couple.





	1. Someday my prince will come

**Author's Note:**

> My country’s version of “Married at First Sight” belongs to one of my top guilty pleasures. Even though I’ve never been a big fan of reality shows, MAFS was a different case, it felt more real, sincerer. For a longer while, I’ve been toying with the idea of writing a MAFS AU to some fandom and when YOI struck me hard, I decided Viktor and Yuuri would be the ones getting the awkward wedding. I’ve been waiting so long to start writing this, so I hope you enjoy it as much as I do! Nevertheless, I hope you have fun reading it!
> 
> Beta’d by the talented [Spigu](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Spigu)!

“Yuuri, would you like to be married one day?”

Yuuri raises his gaze from his book, concentration broken, magic fading. He was just standing on a shadowy beach of a lonely island, following closely how a freezing, ghostly figure tried to find comfort to her solitude in a simple oil lamp. “Uh, I guess so. Why?”

Phichit, his roommate, shrugs vaguely at the question, his expression not convincing enough. “No reason, just curious.” He sighs when he notices Yuuri hasn’t returned to his book but keeps staring suspiciously at him. “Geez, don’t make this into an interrogation! Okay, I may have watched a bit too many wedding-themed TV shows lately and my mind has been entertaining itself by planning hypothetical weddings for my close friends. Did that clear things up?”

“Yeah. You know, for a moment I thought you were trying to propose to me or something.”

Phichit snorts, his eyes focused on the screen of his laptop, fingers never leaving its keyboard. A few coy rays of the morning sun have dared to peek inside their apartment through the slightly opened curtains. They have settled on his dark hair, making Phichit resemble a Christmas angel that has been forgotten to stuff into a box of holiday decorations after clearing the house of its festive glory. 

“As much as I love you, my feelings towards you are just platonic. Would you have turned me down if I had actually asked for your hand?”

“Probably, though I might have regretted it for the rest of my life, since I’m not the kind of a person who gets proposed really often.”

“So I thought. Besides, if I had proposed to you, I’d have done it better than that, thank you very much. Anyway, this leads us perfectly to the next question: how would you describe your dream partner?”

Yuuri lays his book down on the sofa and wraps his blanket tighter around him, the cold never leaves their apartment alone during winter. They’re both forced to wear ridiculously multi-layered sets of clothing even when inside, though today Phichit has defied the temperature by leaving his ankles naked. Yuuri wouldn’t be surprised if they had turned blue by the evening. At least they’re both lucky that they don’t need to leave the house today; going to face the newly fallen snow and the frosty temperature would have been a nastier challenge. Phichit can take care of his studies inside, and Yuuri has a day off from his job at the rink owned by his childhood friends Yuuko and Takeshi. After hearing about him enjoying living in the States, the young couple decided to pack their triplets and move abroad, cooperating with Yuuri’s ex-coach Celestino. Together they founded a skating school for young children whom Yuuri also teaches. He loves working with them, they’re all so talented, so confident in their skills and eager to learn more to shine even more brightly. Still, it’s nice to have a day off, too, for their energetic behaviour can sometimes be a bit draining for Yuuri, the lover of tranquillity and silence.

Yuuri leans against the dark sofa cushions and tries to build an image of his dream partner, filling the vague and blurry body with life. “Well, hypothetically thinking… Maybe I’d like to be with someone who is friendly and calm but fun to be with, maybe someone who has many surprising sides to them. And committed, that’s important, too. Someone who accepts me the way I am, stands by me when I need them.”

Yuuri frowns when Phichit starts to snicker. He didn’t know there was something funny about his description – to his ears his ideal partner sounds quite normal. “Sorry, it’s just… why did I even ask that,” his friend muses just loudly enough for Yuuri to hear. “It’s Viktor Nikiforov you’d want to marry!”

Crimson paints Yuuri’s face with a few firm strokes, the reply gets stuck in his throat. As embarrassing as it sounds, he can’t really argue against the words of truth Phichit just said. If – and only if – Yuuri actually had a chance to marry Viktor Nikiforov, he wouldn’t think twice before making the decision.

Viktor Nikiforov is the world’s top figure skater and even though he retired one year ago, Yuuri is sure his legend will never fade away. When leaving the competitive scene at age of 28, Viktor held all the possible records in men’s singles, having managed to beat even the young rising star Yuri Plisetsky, another top name in the figure skating world. But although new stars came to claim the ice, Yuuri has never admired anyone like Viktor, not even his dearest friend Phichit, the bronze medallist in the last Grand Prix Final. Viktor isn’t just a god of the ice, he is everything. Beautiful even in his tracksuit, kind to his fans and last but not least, a dog person. Phichit loves to tease Yuuri about his admiration towards Viktor, saying it is far too devoted to be treated as a mere celebrity crush. Yuuri never admits it aloud, but they both know Phichit is right. After all, Yuuri doesn’t know anyone who has pleasured himself to the posters of his idols (at least not regularly) or had some really questionable dreams of them, all of them filled with such vivid images of naked bodied tangled together.

“Yuuri, I know this is a dumb thing to ask, but you don’t have any criminal charges pending, do you?”

“Of course not, why would you even ask such a thing?” Yuuri begins but stops when he sees Phichit typing. “Hang on, what are you doing there?”

“Me? Oh, nothing important,” Phichit replies, a bit too quickly for Yuuri’s liking. Before Phichit can do anything to stop him, he has got to his feet and dashed to their tiny kitchen table, snatching the laptop to find out what his flatmate has been scheming behind his back. Indifferent towards Phichit’s whining, Yuuri squints to read the text on the screen. Then, he almost drops the laptop on the floor.

The logo of _Married at First Sight_ shines brightly in the upper corner of the screen, accompanied with two figures who have both been blinded with a white eye mask. They frame an application which, to Yuuri’s horror, has been filled with _his_ information. He scrolls down the page, lips moving a little when reading the answers to some bizarre questions that try to gain every possible piece of information of him.

 _List three things about you that are interesting or unexpected._  
_-I’ve been practicing dancing for almost twenty years but I don’t usually mention that I’m especially good at pole dancing._  
_-I tend to stay in my shell when around people I don’t know, but when I drink, I become the ultimate party animal._  
_-I like gaming and won the annual gaming competition three times in a row in my university._

_What gender are you seeking a relationship with?  
-Male or female_

_Tell us about the most romantic gesture you have ever made?  
-When I was young, I sent my long-distance crush a plush toy that resembled his real-life dog and a box of chocolate for Valentine’s Day, accompanied with a love letter. But I was so shy that I couldn’t add my name nor my address in it._

Yuuri’s face becomes redder the further he reads, the initial shock changing into passive aggressiveness. Slowly, he turns to his flatmate, his tone so threatening he could make even the Nishigori triplets scared, the kids with whom his pathetic authority drops practically to zero: “Phichit, what is the meaning of this?”

“Let’s calm down, okay, Yuuri?” Phichit laughs nervously. “Please, can I have my laptop back? I still haven’t paid the last instalment and I don’t want anything bad to happen to my precious baby.”

“Fine, but I want a proper explanation,” Yuuri grunts as he lays the laptop safely back on the table. “So, what on earth were you doing?”

“You know the reality show _Married at First Sight_? It’s…”

“Of course I know what _MAFS_ is, Phichit, I’m not that stupid!” Yuuri snaps. He hasn’t watched the show himself, but some people he follows on Twitter are its fans, retweeting almost everything related to the reality television show. From his time line, Yuuri has learnt basically everything there is to know about the show: two persons, strangers to each other, get paired up by some claimed experts of their fields and live five weeks together. At the end of the experiment, the couple decides whether to divorce or stay married. Yuuri doesn’t understand why anyone would want to apply to the show; finding love would be okay but trying to do it in front of the television cameras sounds like a horrible idea. If Yuuri took part of a show like that, he would probably embarrass himself in the eyes of the whole States and become the year’s biggest laughing stock on the internet. In that case, he would bury himself in the nearest park and never come up from his tomb again.

“Yeah, of course you know, how silly of me,” Phichit says, desperately trying to keep his voice calm. “But as I explained to you earlier, I’ve been planning hypothetical weddings to my closest friends and some time ago, I saw _MAFS_ ’s commercial on TV and wanted to see what the application looked like.”

“And why didn’t you try filling it with _your_ information?”

“Well, I thought you would be more fitting to become a groom than me. C’mon, Yuuri, you’re 25 already. I always thought you were pretty traditional where family is concerned, don’t you want to settle down with someone?”

“Is there something wrong with the two of us living together?” Yuuri begins, his voice a bit higher than usually. He should have seen this coming, Phichit doesn’t like him anymore and now he is trying to find a way to get rid of him, a scheme wrapped inside of sweet words.

Phichit seems to realize where his thoughts reached in such a short time and jumps to his feet, wrapping his arms quickly around Yuuri. “No, Yuuri, it’s nothing like that! You’re the best flatmate I’d ever have, I’m sorry, I should’ve been more careful with my words. I just wanted to ask if you’re happy like this. I’m not sure if you have noticed this, but you tend to become kinda stressed whenever someone announces their engagement or pregnancy or simply just a beginning of a relationship.”

“I’m fine, Phichit, I’m happy with my life,” Yuuri assures, managing to maintain the calmness on his face. “Besides, I don’t want to get married to someone I don’t even know, you know how I’d freak out. And also, I think you made a mistake there – there’s no way they’d let me pick anything other than female for the preferred gender.”

“Actually, they would!” Phichit says triumphantly. “If you don’t happen to remember, same-sex marriage has been legal here in the States for some years now. The show even advertised that it’s going to change the format to be more LGBT-friendly and look, other genders than those of male or female are also allowed to take part. The civilization marches on, isn’t that nice?”

“It is, but what about my anxiety? They’d want healthy people in the show, not some nervous wrecks with mental issues.”

“Of course they wanted to know about the applicator’s health – both physical and mental, but they said health issues alone wouldn’t prevent anyone from taking part,” Phichit says. “Why are you being so interested in this right now, anyway? Don’t tell me you actually want to apply for the show?”

“No way,” Yuuri says, gripping Phichit’s hand quickly so that he can’t send the form anywhere. “But really, I’m glad they’ve developed the format into something better. I might even watch the show next fall, if there’s going to be at least one non-straight couple.”

“I’ll watch it with you then,” Phichit promises. “I’m kinda starving, you know. Do we have anything to eat?”

“There should be some leftovers from the risotto we made, let me check,” Yuuri says, placing his hand on the keyboard and searching for the mouse, “but first, let’s close this window.”

If the click made a sound, neither of them heard it, for two screams filled the room at the same time. The window is still there, the pointer way too far from the x-mark in the upper right corner of the browser. Instead, the pointer waits patiently somewhere in the middle of the form, lying on top of the worst text Yuuri has seen today:

_Thank you, your application has been sent. We will contact the elected participants on May 5th at the latest._

“How did this happen?!” Yuuri yells, indifferent about the possible complaint they might receive from their landlord. Desperately, he tries to find a way to undo his error. “Can we cancel this somehow? Phichit, what if they contact me? I don’t want to take part in the show!”

“Yuuri, calm down, it’s okay,” Phichit assures. “You’re getting ahead of it, just think about it for a while. There’ll definitely be lots of people who apply for the show, what are the odds they’ll pick you?”

Taking deep breaths, Yuuri nods at Phichit’s words. His roommate is right, there will definitely be thousands of applicants and Lady Luck has never favoured him in anything that’s based on fortune. Besides, he’s far from husband material, so no sane person would ever pick him anyway. 

 

 

***

The quiet snowfall has turned the outside world into something of a fairy tale or a romantic comedy, funny how closely those two are linked in his mind. Viktor rests his head on his palm, his eyes never leaving the scene outside the window of the café. A woman, dressed in a grey wool coat and a pink knit cap that matches her scarf, waves excitedly at a man who is running towards her. Not caring about anyone else in the entire world, the couple embraces in front of the window, cold lips brushing against each other, the pink colour spreading further on their cheeks. They’re a perfect example of two people in love. It makes Viktor feel sick to his stomach.

“ _Enviocus Bachelorcus_.”

Viktor moves his eyes away from the window to the man sitting on the other side of the table. His friend Christophe raises an eyebrow at him knowingly, drawing circles on the surface of his coffee with a tiny spoon.

Viktor frowns at his expression. “What?”

“That’s Latin,” Chris claims smugly. “I learnt it from a nature documentary a while ago. It means an ‘envious bachelor’, a person who feels jealous of others’ happiness and tries to conceal the lack of love of their own.”

Viktor rolls his eyes and takes a sip of his own coffee, it has already become a bit lukewarm. They have come to visit the café at its busiest and the background noise is inevitable, different conversations mixing into meaningless murmur in Viktor’s ears. “Very funny, Chris. Am I not even allowed to look out of the window anymore without being called an ‘ _Enviocus Bachelorcus_ ’ or whatever that was?”

“You looked like you wanted to murder someone.”

“I did not.”

“You did. Look, I’m even wearing my glasses today and with them on, I don’t miss anything.”

Viktor sighs and drinks the rest of his coffee, sneering at its aftertaste. “Fine, maybe I did. I’m sorry, I’m not really the best company right now.”

It embarrasses him, acting so childishly in front of Chris. It feels even worse because he can’t meet his best friend whenever he wants to; it was kind of complicated already when Viktor lived in Russia and Chris in Switzerland, but now that Viktor has moved his residence to Chicago, the distance between them has become too long. Viktor was over the moon when Chris told him he and his long-time boyfriend Markus would come visit the States in January and now that his friend is finally here, Viktor just spends their shared time sulking because of something that isn’t even Chris’s fault.

“Well at least you’re better than Markus’s great-aunt,” Chris snorts, “though I must say, she remembers to praise my well-formed ass every time we meet.” Then, his expression softens a little. “But seriously, Vitya, you need to have a nice boyfriend of your own. I don’t understand how you haven’t managed to find anyone yet, a sexy and famous bachelor like you would get _anyone_.”

“Last new year’s party proved otherwise,” Viktor mutters, the thought of the gorgeous and drunk raven-haired boy he danced with still makes his heart ache.

“You’re still thinking of that boy who never called you back?” Chris sighs. “Come on, he’s not worth it, you need to move on. Have you tried Tinder or Grindr?”

“A few times and that was enough,” Viktor says, “the people I met seemed fun at first but I quickly realized they only wanted to sleep with me because I’m famous. Just imagine it, how cool would it be to tell your friends that you’ve been with a celebrity?”

“I kind of understand why they’d do that, but I feel you,” Chris says empathetically. “I’ve been very lucky that I met Markus through skating. It’s not easy to be a famous person and try to find genuine love.”

“Great, that means I’m going to be forever alone,” Viktor says, his upper body collapsing dramatically against the table. “I should have tried to hit on Georgi when he was still skating, but that probably wouldn’t have worked because he was always blabbering about Anya. We wouldn’t have been a good match anyway, our characters are too different.”

Georgi Popovich is one of Viktor’s former rink mates as well, although he left the scene some years earlier than him, all heartbroken because his sweetheart had left him for another man. According to Yakov, Georgi should be living in the States as well, doing something related to psychology that he already studied when competing in men’s singles. Despite his loneliness, Viktor hasn’t used much effort in trying to contact Georgi, for the two of them were never particularly close and Viktor isn’t very good at keeping up relationships in any sense. Luckily for him, Chris texts him quite often and even Yuri sometimes wants to keep him posted about his life.

“You’re too young to give up, Vitya,” Chris says. “Actually, I have one more suggestion and I bet you haven’t thought of it! What do you think about this?”

Viktor leans forward to read the text on Chris’ phone screen and cringes internally when he figures out what it is about.

 ** _Are you single and looking for love?_** **_Are you tired of swiping left in bars and want to find your perfect match?_** **_Do you know of someone who deserves a partner to fulfill their dreams? Are you ready to put your heart on the line and settle down?_**

_Married at First Sight are searching for people of ALL ages and backgrounds who are genuinely ready to commit to love. This ground breaking social experiment wants to help singles find their potential lifelong partner using the science of matchmaking._

_There’s just one catch.......you’ll meet for the first time on your wedding day._

_This is not a competition and there is no cash prize._

_This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to find LOVE._

Viktor raises his eyebrow and shoots a sceptical look at his friend. “Chris, you can’t be serious.”

“Why not?” Chris says, “I’ve watched all the seasons and according to Google, some couples are still happily married. A few of them even have kids.”

“Yeah, but this is a _reality_ show,” Viktor says, stressing the word ‘reality’ like it tasted disgusting in his mouth. Although he won’t admit it, he tends to watch all sorts of reality shows when feeling bored, but he knows they’re quite far from being realistic. Shows like that are built to be entertaining and exciting as if they were fictional series and the creators never show everything to the watchers, which can lead to some horrible representations of some people who aren’t even that bad in real life. Viktor feels kind of sorry for people who get involved in reality TV shows, though on the other hand, he finds them stupid.

“Yeah, but it’s not like every reality show!” Chris claims. “Even though a certain narrative is built, the feelings of the people are genuine. Everyone in it wants to find true love.”

“It’s nice that an opportunity like that exists,” Viktor says firmly, “but really, Chris, that’s just not for me.”

 

 

***

When Viktor returns home some hours later, he gets greeted with a few excited barks and a few seconds later, his dog dashes to him, craving for affection. Viktor drops to his feet and opens his arms as an invitation, wrapping them gently around Makkachin. A few flakes of snow get mixed into his brown fur, slowly melting into water.

“Hi, Makkachin! Did you miss me?” Viktor coos, scratching his dog behind his ears and making him pant happily. “Is that so? I missed you too! Just a minute, I need to get off my shoes and coat, then I’ll feed you!”

Being a smart dog, Makkachin sprints to the kitchen in advance, giving Viktor time to take off his outdoor clothing in no hurry. Humming a song he heard in the café today, he follows his pet and pours himself a glass of wine before filling Makkachin’s bowl. Letting him eat in peace, Viktor wanders to his living room and lays down on his blue sofa. That’s when the first, stubborn tears fill his eyes.

Viktor has always felt a strange connection to Bridget Jones, something that Yuri will never understand. Sure, there are quite a few differences between them: first, Viktor doesn’t feel very insecure about his looks (apart from his thinning hairline) and second, he doesn’t embarrass himself regularly. He has also made an amazing career and with his status as a high-class celebrity, he probably won’t need to worry too much about money for the rest of his life. But there’s something in Bridget that Viktor understands better than anyone, the fear of never finding your true love and spending your whole life all alone.

In addition to feeling great sympathy towards Bridget Jones, Viktor has always had a pretty complicated relationship with Disney princesses. Even as a grown-up, he can’t help but shed a tear or two when re-watching the tales of cartoon ladies searching for their happy endings, but nowadays his feelings have become more cynical towards them, especially towards the oldest princesses. Neither Snow White nor Cinderella did actually anything to achieve the happily ever after phase and the men of their dreams just magically walked straight into their lives, all perfect from day one. It’s so unfair, Viktor would give his all to have a prince of his own, but unfortunately for him, his life doesn’t work like those of the Disney princesses. In his life, true love doesn’t just run into him, it’s something one has to try seeking in places like Tinder, failing every single time. In his life, even the sweetest-looking princes can turn out to be Hanses of the Southern Isles, while all Viktor is trying to do is to find a Kristoff of his own. With each new day, he is closer to accepting the fact that he is going to die a single.

_And I actually thought the New Year’s boy could have been my prince…_

Viktor flinches a little when something wet touches his hand and moves his eyes down next to the sofa. He has no idea how long Makkachin has been here with him, but from the way he tilts his head, Viktor knows his beloved dog can see how much he suffers. Wiping his eyes dry, he forces a smile on his face and rises, making some room for Makkachin. Reflexively, he buries his face into the dog’s fur, a method he always uses when feeling down.

“I’m sorry, Makkachin, you’d rather see me happy, too?” Viktor mumbles, his fingers brushing the fur in a robotic manner. He wonders whether he should call someone, but no one fitting comes to his mind. Chris won’t do, for he already bothered him enough earlier and Yuri would probably hang up if he started to whine about the lack of his love life. It’s a shame he never got close with Georgi, since he would probably understand. Had Viktor known about his miserable future as an unwanted bachelor, he would have listened to the countless stories of Georgi’s heartbreak with a better care.

A quiet beep strikes into his awareness, his laptop probably wants him to take care of some updates. Viktor bends over the edge of the sofa and finds the laptop lying on the floor next to his stool accompanied with a few books he is stubbornly reading at the same time. The computer is not waiting to be updated, though, but it’s trying to gain his attention with a mail he missed hearing earlier because his phone was on silent. He lets out a displeased sigh when he sees it’s from Chris, he is still bothering him with the talk about _Married at First Sight_. Viktor is about to delete the mail but his mind wanders back to Disney, this time to Belle. In her story, she was basically forced to become a member of the Beast’s household but as time passed, she fell for him, realizing he was a sweet person deep down. That was not love at first sight and that also included living together, starting from the bottom as complete strangers. He’d rather not have a prince that started off as a douche, but otherwise Viktor would be willing to play the role of Belle. Cursing internally at his weak heart, he clicks the link open.

_What will be your parents’ reaction to you being on MAFS? Will they be supportive or against the idea?_

_Well, it’s not that they care about me one bit anyway, so…_

Viktor, of course, cannot write such an answer to the question so he softens his words a bit, filling them with tiny white lies. Yakov would probably freak out at first, though, but Viktor is sure his former coach wants him to be happy, too. When Viktor was younger, Yakov would always stay with him after practice and wait for his tears to dry.

_Would you describe yourself as lonely?_

_Haha. Yes, a thousand times yes. Moving on._

_What is your greatest failure/biggest mistake in life?_

It takes a little while to answer this one, a while to gather himself together. Viktor knows the answer to this question better than to any other and still it feels difficult to type the words to the empty white box that is impatiently waiting to be filled. Finally, he shares the anonymous reader the realization that keeps hurting him even after retirement, even now that he should have moved on and gained a chance to start over. The realization he has simply operated every single day of his life, never actually living or loving it.

_Help us understand why you’re looking for love._

This is the final question on the form, the final chance for the applicator to prove their sincerity and will to take part in the show. Viktor feels exhausted as though he has poured his soul into the application, making himself so vulnerable to people who he doesn’t even know. That’s why his answer is a very short one, though he believes the one who reads this will understand if they haven’t skipped any of his earlier answers.

_I just don’t want to be alone anymore._

 

 

***

The energy she gained from the last cup of coffee already feels like a distant memory, so low has her concentration fallen. Ignoring the first warnings of a headache that throb against her forehead, Sara brushes her dark hair away from her face and irritably raises her gaze from her tablet.

“You guys aren’t helping one bit!”

Behind the glass table that prevents her from acting on her frustration sit her two colleagues, both foreign-born just like her. The older one of them, Georgi Popovich, mumbles an apology of sorts, but the man on his left still seems unconcerned, his dark eyes wandering on anything that is not the tablet in his lap. Sara can’t understand her past self who, for a few moments, thought this guy actually was pretty to look at and pleasant to be with. He revealed his true colours the moment he opened his mouth, showing nothing but rudeness and indifference towards her and the whole concept they are working on right now.

“Seung-gil, please!” Sara snaps, unable to conceal the annoyed tone of her voice. “You’re one of the experts this season, it’s your job to be at least _a little_ interested in our candidates!”

“For your information, Ms Crispino, I am not,” the Korean man replies coldly. “And as long as it’s not necessary, I don’t intend to be.”

Luckily for them, they aren’t being filmed right now, for otherwise the show would become a flop before it even got started. Sara grips the tablet harder in her hands, her ears filled with her own internal screaming.

“Would you like to remind me why you are part of the team if you’re not interested in the show even a bit?”

“The production team jawboned me to it and made me think I could actually use some of my skills in the show.”

Sara presses her lips together to prevent any more venomous words from leaving her tongue, although she is sure Seung-gil couldn’t care less about her remarks. It annoys her how talented a cold-hearted person can be; despite being still a university student, Seung-gil has already published some top-class scientific articles and is regarded as a young genius. Like Sara, he is majoring in psychology, which, in her opinion is kind of ironic, for the man seems to be as interested in the human behaviour as he is in love in general. She once tried to ask why he hasn’t changed majors in the first place, but apparently Seung-gil has decided to continue his studies because he is good at the practices of his field.

Unlike Sara and Seung-gil, Georgi has a degree that he already got when living in Russia. His occupation is almost as awkward as Seung-gil’s major, for he is making a living from relationship counselling. From what Sara has heard, he is actually quite decent at his job, but for some reason, he is unable to use his skills to fix his own broken heart that has been bothering him more or less visibly for years. Despite being empathic by nature, even Sara’s limit of tolerance can be crossed – she has become pretty fed up of men whining about their personal issues if they don’t even try to do anything to change things. It kind of reminds her of her twin brother Mickey, whose heart Sara probably broke when she announced she would apply to a university in New York and didn’t want her brother to follow her.

Although Georgi is the most qualified of them in paper, Sara feels like she has become the head of the team, acting as its most responsible member. While nobody has said it out loud, they all know _Married at First Sight_ isn’t as popular as it used to be and no famous expert wanted to take part of the show in fear of total humiliation. Sara regards them as cowards who just want to settle for the safe and ordinary ways of building a career; nobody can truly call themselves an expert if they don’t even try to step outside their comfort zones. That’s why Sara has decided to give her all to make the season a success and restore the show’s popularity. Also, even though she is still far away from achieving her dream job as a sex therapist, she is sure the show will give her lots of new views and tools that will be helpful in the future.

“I know we all have very different motives for being here,” Georgi begins, his tone mediating, “some of us need money, some believe in this concept more than others and some were just forced to join the team… but nevertheless, we’re all experts, so we should try to at least act like that.”

“Thank you, Georgi, at least some of us have some common sense!” Sara cries out, slightly irritated that her colleague couldn’t say that earlier. “Let’s get into business, I want to get home at some point today! But first, I need another coffee, do you guys want me to bring something for you?”

Both men agree to have coffee and Sara jumps off her leather armchair, heading to the nearest vending machine. She winces in secret when loading the cups on a small tray, her feet are protesting against her wearing heels for so long today. She doesn’t want to take them off yet, though, she wants to keep up an image of her neat style. Besides, Seung-gil would probably comment how impractical high heels were if she let it to be seen and even though Sara agrees with him to a certain degree, she doesn’t want him to win the battle. When she returns back, she is able to keep up her poker face just fine, but then Georgi lets out a sudden yell and almost causes her to drop the tray, soiling their beautiful cream-coloured rug for ever.

“If you have to yell, please don’t do it so loudly,” Seung-gil complains, rubbing his right ear with a very displeased expression.

“I’m sorry, but it’s just…” Georgi begins, his blue eyes wider than Sara has ever seen them before, “you’re never going to believe it! Viktor Nikiforov has applied for the show!”

“What? You’re kidding, aren’t you?” Sara cries and puts the tray down so quickly she almost knocks the coffee over herself. She sprints to Georgi’s side to judge the truthfulness of the claim herself. She lets out a high-pitched breath when she sees the pictures on the screen, there’s no doubt about it, the _real_ Viktor Nikiforov is truly applying for _MAFS_. Sara would recognize the man anywhere, she has seen him skate in as many competitions as she remembers, always managing to beat Mickey. She has to be dreaming, they can’t be this lucky.

“We need to have him on the show,” Seung-gil says in a monotone, gaining confused looks from both Sara and Georgi. “Come on, don’t look at me like that, can’t you see the profit? If we get a celebrity on the show, we will definitely attract a lot of people and when a lot of people are watching the show, we will also get attention and fame if we do our job well. And if we manage to find a partner for Viktor Nikiforov, he will probably promote us, too. We might actually build some fine careers through this.”

“Exactly!” Sara says happily, her heart has started to bound excitedly, ready for the challenge. “Let’s make this the best season ever!”

Through months of work, they manage to match three couples, all scientifically perfect for each other. A Canadian-born model and a fashion designer who always wears her red trade-mark lipstick, a personal trainer and a flight attendant, both of Russian heritage. And last but not least, the show’s first same-sex couple ever: the legendary Russian figure skater and his prince-to-be who teaches skating to children for a living.


	2. Where angels fear to tread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t take me wrong, now, Yuuri, but I think Viktor is holding you back. I’m not saying that it’s wrong to admire him, but I’ve been thinking this for a while… I think you don’t have courage to search for love because it feels so safe to love the idea of your idol, I think you’re afraid that you’d hurt Viktor if you found someone else to love. But Yuuri, Viktor doesn’t know you at all and he doesn’t care whether you love him or not. He’s so far away and lives in a completely different world than you; the chance of the two of you meeting in the halfway is almost non-existent. I… I just don’t want to see you get your heart broken when Viktor starts going out with someone else. You deserve better than that, Yuuri.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter involves lots of talking, especially on the phone *laughs* But I think they’re all quite important, as our boys need to tell their friends and family about their acceptance to the show. Also, I wanted them to interact with the experts as well as it’s an important aspect of the real-life show.
> 
> Initially, this and the upcoming third chapter were supposed to be combined, but I soon realized the chapter would have been way too heavy and it wouldn’t have worked out well. So please wait a little more, next time the boys get ready for the wedding and finally get to see each other for the “first” time.
> 
> Enjoy reading!

When spring finally spreads out in Detroit and fills the city with different shades of green, Yuuri experiences a personal hell. On the first days of May, just as he is packing things up after his shift at the Ice Castle, his phone starts to ring. Yuuri frowns at the unknown number, he doesn’t usually get calls from anyone else than Phichit, his co-workers or his family. Besides, talking on the phone with a stranger feels quite unpleasant, despite his best efforts to adjust to it. When on the phone, Yuuri tends to stutter more and be overly self-conscious of his pronunciation, something he still worries about despite having lived in the States for years and being treated as a fluent speaker of English. Sometimes, his brain feels like freezing when stumbling upon a word he doesn’t know and should say out loud on the next heartbeat.

_Come on, Yuuri, you’re 25, you can do it! It might be something important, maybe the bank or the hospital or something._

He picks up the phone.

“Hello, this is Yuuri Katsuki speaking.”

 _“Hello, Mr Katsuki. My name is Sara Crispino,_ _is this a good time to talk?_ _”_

The woman on the phone sounds polite yet warm, which makes Yuuri relax a little bit. Judging from her voice, she is quite young, though he is sure the caller is a grown-up. The purpose of her call is not yet known, but then Yuuri remembers that they’re waiting to hear from one mother who wanted to sign her child on their skating school. He starts to scrabble for a pen and paper.

“Sure, Ms Crispino. Are you still interested in the skating class we offered to your child?”

 _“I’m sorry, now you’ve misunderstood me,”_ Sara laughs heartily, _“my mistake, I should have informed you about the purpose of my call straight away. I’m calling on behalf of the production team of the television show_ Married at First Sight _and you, Yuuri, have been chosen as one of the participants of the next season.”_

Yuuri’s mind goes blank.

 _“Hello? Mr Katsuki, are you still there?”_ Sara asks after a silence, its duration unknown to Yuuri. He takes a deep breath and searches the room in a growing panic, desperate to get away from the situation.

“Uh, actually, I’m being called to a meeting right now…”

_“It’s okay. Can I call you back in an hour or so?”_

“Sure,” Yuuri squeaks in a voice that doesn’t sound familiar to his ears and curses his inability to refuse. He falls onto the bench of the staff’s dressing room the minute the phone call ends and leans over his knees, his pulse throbbing so loud the people outside the building could definitely hear it. He is screwed for sure.

As winter turned to spring, Yuuri managed to forget about his mistake of sending the application to _MAFS_ , relying on logic and his own unattractiveness in the eyes of the production team. There must be a mistake, a person like him should never have been picked! From what he remembers of the application, Phichit created him a personality of a weirdo (which, though, was quite accurate), so no one should have chosen him based on the answers, right?! But still, Sara Crispino didn’t sound like she was lying and Yuuri can’t think of anyone who would plan such a cruel joke for him. Anxiety is already creeping up on his body, making it numb and sweaty on the way. Yuuri forces his breathing rhythm to stay in control, he has to do something, quick, otherwise he will turn into a corpse before Sara calls him back. On the other hand, that might be the solution to his problems…

Instead, he phones to Phichit.

 _“Hello, Yuuri! Did you change your mind about our friends_ Ben and Jerry _? If you don’t want_ Karamel Sutra _, it’s fine, ‘cause I haven’t gone shopping yet and…”_

“Phichit,” Yuuri whines, “I’m dying.”

_“What? Yuuri, what’s wrong?”_

“They called me from _Married at First Sight_. They want me on the show…”

There’s a pause.

_“…Are you serious?”_

“Unfortunately, yes.”

 _“Oh my god, Yuuri, that’s… Well, I don’t know, what do you think? What did you say to them?”_ Phichit asks. His voice is getting louder and more excited as if he just heard an interesting rumour about some B-class celebrity. Usually, it would annoy Yuuri a little, but right now he is not in the mood to scold his friend.

“Nothing yet, they will call me back in…” Yuuri bends his arm a little to check the screen of his watch, “about 45 minutes, I guess. Phichit, what am I going to do?”

 _“Well, we have almost an hour to discuss the possibilities,”_ Phichit says calmly, _“and I’m sure that’s quite enough to decide whether you take part or not.”_

“Well, obviously I’m not going!” Yuuri huffs. “And I need you to help me to figure out how to decline the offer.”

Phichit lets out a quiet voice that’s neither approving nor declining, but somehow Yuuri knows it doesn’t promise anything good. _“Actually, I was thinking… Maybe you should go, after all.”_

“WHAT?” Yuuri yells and straightens himself abruptly, his eyes now focused on the poster of Viktor Nikiforov that he keeps on his locker door. “Me, marrying a stranger? I don’t even get crushes easily and feel sexual attraction even more rarely! That would never work!”

_“But the chance of you getting at least romantically attracted to them should be pretty high, ‘cause they’re scientifically a good match to you, right?”_

Yuuri would like to say a word or two about the “scientific” aspect of the show, but his friend probably anticipated the criticism, because he continues quickly: _“Besides, you know that it’s not necessary to be sexually attracted to your partner to have a good relationship. And sex isn’t necessary, either – just think of my schoolmate Marie and her girlfriend Erica and they’ve been together for like 3 years and are already planning their wedding. But really, Yuuri, I think this an opportunity you should take. I think it would help you to move on.”_

Yuuri bites his lower lip, his gaze never leaving the poster. Viktor looks so beautiful and young in it, the photo was taken years ago when he still had long hair. “What do you mean?”

_“Don’t take me wrong, now, Yuuri, but I think Viktor is holding you back. I’m not saying that it’s wrong to admire him, but I’ve been thinking this for a while… I think you don’t have courage to search for love because it feels so safe to love the idea of your idol, I think you’re afraid that you’d hurt Viktor if you found someone else to love. But Yuuri, Viktor doesn’t know you at all and he doesn’t care whether you love him or not. He’s so far away and lives in a completely different world than you; the chance of the two of you meeting in the halfway is almost non-existent. I… I just don’t want to see you get your heart broken when Viktor starts going out with someone else. You deserve better than that, Yuuri.”_

Yuuri’s eyes are still on the poster, but he is not seeing the picture anymore. It has become all blurry, unrecognizable, like one of those faceless individuals he keeps bumping into in his colourless dreams. After a while, he realizes he has stopped breathing. It feels as if Phichit has just hit him in the face.

 _“Yuuri…”_ Phichit whispers, sounding like he might burst into tears any minute. _“Do you hate me?”_

“Just a little bit,” Yuuri whispers back, his free hand pressed against his chest in an attempt to stop the ache. “But I know you’re right. Viktor is holding me back. It just… hurts so much.”

 _“I’m sorry,”_ Phichit says and now Yuuri is sure he is crying. _“I just want my best friend to be happy_ _.”_

“I know,” Yuuri says, closing his eyes, “nothing will ever change if I don’t try to change things myself. I’m… I’m going to take part in the show. I’ll try to step outside my comfort zone and try something new. I want to be happy, too.”

He can hear Phichit smile. _“I think it’s the best decision you could make, Yuuri. And remember, if it gets too uncomfortable for you, you can always leave in the middle of the show – some people thought of doing it in some seasons at least. And even if you went through the whole season, you can always get a divorce if you feel like it. You’re not going to lose anything. Of course, I’m always going to support you.”_

“Thank you, Phichit. You’re a good friend.”

 _“I think you meant the best,”_ Phichit says and makes Yuuri laugh a little. _“So, tell me: do you still want_ Karamel Sutra _with our_ Harry Potter _marathon?”_

“Yeah. And bring me one _Strawberry Cheesecake_ , too.”

After Yuuri ends the call, he takes down his poster of Viktor. It feels a bit bad, seeing Viktor’s beautiful face in the trash can, but he needs to start taking better care of his own well-being and he needs to start from somewhere. About 15 minutes later, Sara Crispino calls him and Yuuri tells her he is willing to take part in the show.

*******

When spring finally spreads out in Chicago and fills the city with different shades of green, Viktor experiences a personal heaven. Gripping his phone with both hands, he grins stupidly at his own reflection, indifferent about how long the activity has been going on. He has every reason to be happy, he just received a call from New York and a man named Seung-gil told him that he was chosen for the newest season of _Married at First Sight_. One more month to go and Viktor will finally get a prince of his own, Lady Luck has been very generous towards him. He takes a few swingy steps before landing on his sofa and scaring off Makkachin. Viktor can already imagine his husband in his, no, _their_ apartment. Waking up to the smell of fresh coffee, having meals in the soft candle-light, laying on the sofa together watching films, making his husband melt in his arms every night. He needs to start counting days.

Naturally, Viktor texted Chris straight away to tell him the news and received the heartiest congratulations, accompanied with a smug “told you so”. Chris also promised to be his best man and told him he wouldn’t miss the wedding even if he broke both of his legs and had to fly to the States on a stretcher. It’s a good start, having at least one guest to appear at his wedding, but Viktor wants a few more people to witness the very first day of his new life. The clock is just close to half past two in the afternoon, but in Moscow it should already be late evening, around half past ten. Viktor decides that Yakov shouldn’t be sleeping yet and presses the call button.

His former coach answers almost immediately. _“Vitya? Is something wrong?”_

“Quite the opposite, Yakov,” Viktor tells him cheerfully, “how is the best coach of the entire figure skating world doing?”

_“Not well, because you decided to call me at this hour. Goddammit, Vitya, I’m not a young man anymore, you can’t phone me just whenever you feel like it! You haven’t even bothered to keep in touch and now you decide you should ask how I’m feeling when I should be heading to bed!”_

Viktor hears another voice from the background and even though he can’t make anything out of the words, he can hear the irritated tone. Yakov’s voice sounds a bit distant for a few seconds when he replies to the other person, apparently holding his phone further from his mouth so that Viktor couldn’t hear. Still, Viktor is not an idiot and it doesn’t take much to figure out the situation.

“Have you and Lilia got back together?” Viktor asks innocently.

 _“None of your business,”_ Yakov grunts, _“just tell me what you want_ _so that I can get some sleep tonight. What bad have you done now?”_

“Nothing. Actually, I’m getting married.”

Yakov doesn’t say anything for a while. _“Well, that was a big surprise, to hear that you have finally decided to settle down. Congratulations, Vitya, how’s your husband like? I mean, you’re still into men, right?”_

“That’s the funny part,” Viktor says, never dropping the gleeful tone, “I don’t know yet. What he is like, I mean.”

This time, the pause between his and Yakov’s words is much longer.

_“I’m sorry, my hearing has got worse lately. I thought you said you didn’t know your husband yet.”_

“That’s right, I don’t. I applied for a reality television show called _Married at First Sight_ and a team of experts chose my partner for me and I’m going to meet him on the day of our wedding!”

 _“What the hell are you fooling around, Vitya, you almost caused poor Lilia a heart attack!”_ Yakov shouts in his ear, it’s a wonder an old man like him can still be so loud. _“The Americans will be the end of the world; making such tasteless entertainment of the holiest thing there is!”_

“Actually, it was originally a Danish concept…”

_“Don’t you wise off, Vitya, I don’t care who came up with the idea of the show! I won’t accept it, you making a fool of yourself in front of hundreds of thousands of people! Why on earth did you even apply for such a show? I thought you were smarter than that!”_

“If you haven’t figured it out already, I’m not very happy with my life right now,” Viktor says coldly, “and I haven’t been for a long time. I’m sick of being alone and unloved, I need to do something to end this! I know this is crazy, but this is also an opportunity I haven’t tried and who knows, maybe it’ll work for me. I’m not a child anymore, Yakov, and I don’t need your approval. Still, I’d be very happy if you could support me at least a little.”

Again, quiet words are exchanged in the background. They sound soft to his ears, but Viktor can’t be sure whether the meanings are gentle as well. Finally, Yakov lets out a loud sigh.

_“Well, if you know what you’re doing, Vitya, then I don’t think I can judge you. I hope this choice will lead you to happiness.”_

Viktor can’t help but smile, something warm is throbbing inside his chest, radiating all across his body. “Thank you, Yakov. Would you come to the wedding? It takes place in New York on June 20th. Of course, Lilia is also welcome to join you if she wants to.”

 _“Someone needs to make sure that you don’t do anything stupid, so at least I’ll come for sure,”_ Yakov grunts, _“and remember to invite Yuri, too, otherwise he will be mad at you for the rest of his life. But don’t call him now, that boy needs to wake up early tomorrow and I don’t want you to sabotage his career.”_

 

***

Naturally, Viktor calls Yuri the moment he finishes his call with Yakov. It takes a few more beeps for him to answer.

_“What do you want, I’m busy.”_

Viktor chuckles a little at the response, he can imagine vividly what Yuri’s “busy” means when translated into common language. The boy is probably lying on his bed with his cat, his free hand never leaving his laptop’s keyboard. Viktor is sure Yuri was just in the middle of chatting with his fellow rival-turned-friend skater Otabek, whom Viktor calls Yuri’s “soon-to-be-boyfriend” behind his back. He sort of feels sorry for Otabek, whose long-term affection is something Yuri hasn’t managed to see even after all these years. Yuri is a bit dim-witted when love is concerned.

“Still polite as ever, Yura,” Viktor says. Somehow he had thought that Yuri’s character would become more endurable now that he has reached the age of 17, but in Viktor’s opinion, there hasn’t been any remarkable change. Although close to becoming an adult, Yuri will always remain a hot-tempered little brother figure to him.

“I thought you should already be in bed. Dear Yakov is worried that his star pupil doesn’t get enough sleep.”

 _“The hell with Yakov,”_ Yuri spits angrily, _”he’s been a huge fucking pain in the ass lately. Can you imagine, he even banned the Eurovision semi-finals from me, bullshitting that they are shown too late. I’m gonna watch them anyway!”_

”Of course you are. Any favorites so far?”

_”Russia’s gonna win.”_

”Sure it is,” Viktor says, deciding not to remind Yuri about the fact that their homeland hasn’t won the contest since 2008. But even though Viktor considers himself a citizen of the States now, Russia will always be his favourite in the case of Eurovision and any field of sports.        

“But you know, Sweden and Australia have been well-received by critics, too.”

 _“Sweden’s song is shit and I could eat that Australian wimp for breakfast!”_ Yuri snaps, so defensive it would be quite funny if Viktor didn’t know how serious business the song contest is. _“They won’t beat us, Beka said that, too! And he knows a lot of music, being a DJ and stuff. He’s gonna come visit me and we’ll watch the final together.”_

“It’s good that Kazakhstan doesn’t take part in ESC. It could do some serious damage to your relationship,” Viktor points out. When he was younger, he once made the mistake of watching the finals with Chris who had come to visit him for the first time ever. Viktor doesn’t consider himself a person who gets furious easily, but they managed to create the biggest fight they’ve ever had so far. All because Russia finished in 16th place (that wasn’t their best year) and Switzerland in 25th, the last of the qualified countries. After making up, they decided never to watch the song contest with each other, nor commenting about their countries’ success in any way.

(But Russia has always been better than Switzerland, to be honest.)

 _“That might be true…”_ Yuri says so seriously that Viktor doesn’t even try to find any traces of a lie. _“But anyway, old man, did you actually have something real to say to me? If not, I’m gonna hang you up.”_

”I just wanted to inform you that I’m going to get married,” Viktor blurts out quickly, he doesn’t want to call Yuri back, not after all this trouble, “with a stranger. I applied for _Married at First Sight_.”

_”Oh. I see.”_

Viktor frowns at the response, he was waiting for another aggressive outburst from Yuri, not indifference like this. “I thought you’d be a little more shocked. Yakov was quite angry at first when I told him.”

 _“Look, I couldn’t care less even if you wanted to marry a lamp-post,”_ Yuri says in an irritated manner, _“if you haven’t noticed, you’re not the centre of the universe and I’ve got lots of other stuff in my mind than your love life. So do what you want and I hope the guy’s good for you. I take it I’m invited?”_

“Of course you are.”

_“Great. You better make sure the food there is not shit. Also, can I bring Beka with me?”_

“Sure, bring your date if you want,” Viktor says and lengthens his arm as far as he can, getting the phone away from his ear. His intuition was right, for a second later, Yuri is yelling at him, telling Otabek is not his date and asking him to go fuck himself.

This time, it’s Viktor who hangs him up.

 

 

***

Sometimes, Yuuri’s feet act as if they had a will of their own, brushing the floor underneath them restlessly back and forth. Today is one of those days, for both his body and mind have been through a lot during the past hours that haven’t even reached 24 yet. The promise of a relaxing time is already in his sight, Phichit, _Ben & Jerry’s _and _Harry Potter_ make the best night-off there is. However, Yuuri needs to take care of one single thing before leaving the stressful day behind. He takes a quick glance at his silver wall clock, it’s eight in the evening. In Japan, though, it should already be nine in the morning of the next day.

Yuuri’s pulse quickens a little as he listens to the beeps, mentally preparing his brain to switch into Japanese. He inhales quickly when he hears his sister’s voice from the line.

_“Yu-topia Katsuki, how can we help you?”_

“Hello, big sister. It’s been a while…”

The line goes quiet for a second. _“Yuuri, is that really you?”_

“Yeah. Sorry that I haven’t called…”

 _“You should say sorry to Mum and Dad and Minako, they’ve all been so worried because they haven’t heard anything from you,”_ Mari sighs. _“I know you’ve been busy with getting used to your job but really, it’s been months since you last called.”_

Yuuri kicks the floor and lets his body fall backwards onto his bed. The colourless ceiling above him is decorated with dozens of stars that glow in the dark, that way the universe feels closer to him. Sometimes when Yuuri can’t sleep at night, he’ll pull the blanket over his head and stare at the stars, pretending he’s sitting somewhere in the space until dreams finally find back to him.

“How’re you all?” Yuuri tries again, tired of the subject. “Did you go to the _hanage_ in March?”

 _“No, we didn’t go to see someone’s ‘nose hair’, we went to the_ hanami _.”_

Teeth sink into his bottom lip, the pain warning him of possible bleeding. “That was an accident. I meant _hanami_.”

_“Aren’t you starting to get afraid? If you continue like this, you will forget your language in no time. How do you think our mum and dad will feel if you become unable to speak Japanese to them? You know their English skills are close to non-existent.”_

“I won’t forget it!” Yuuri says firmly, Mari and him have had this conversation before, too. Yuuri knows his family would like him to live in Japan, but once he left the country and made States his new home, he hasn’t longed to return. As much as he cherishes Hasetsu, the thought of moving back feels suffocating. The borders of his hometown are small, narrowing constantly around him, crushing him. They are made of expectations, too big for him to fulfil, and having once let down everyone’s hopes, he can’t look them in the eye. Yuuri is sure he would feel like a stranger in his childhood environment.

“Is Mum there? Can I talk to her for a minute?”

Mari lets out a sound that could mean anything, but after a while, Yuuri hears his mother’s voice in his ear. Reflexively, one tear rolls down his cheek.

_“Yuuri, sweetie, I’m so glad you called! I’ve missed you so much! Mari, go get your father, he needs to hear Yuuri’s voice, too!”_

Distantly, Yuuri hears a few thuds, probably the sound of Mari walking on the wooden floor. When the thudding returns, he counts to three for courage before blurting out the secret he wanted to share in the first place:

“Mum, Dad, I’m getting married.”

 _“Oh my, congratulations, my dear boy!”_ Hiroko tells him cheerfully. _“Your father is also very happy for you, you should see his smile! Tell us everything, what kind of a person are you going to wed?”_

“I have no idea yet,” Yuuri murmurs, “I’ll be on a reality show where experts match you to a stranger and make you marry each other to see if you can start to love each other.”

The line goes silent, making Yuuri a dozen times more aware of his own heartbeat, one sign of his body preparing him for escape. On the background, he can hear Mari whisper something quickly to their parents, although it quiets down soon, probably because Toshiya has told her to stop. Eventually, his mother opens her mouth again, her tone still joyful:

_“If that’s what you want, we support your decision, dear child. But are you absolutely sure you want to do it, we know you’re not very fond of cameras. You’re still young, you don’t have to try to please us in any way. If you don’t ever want to get married, it’s fine. If you wish to marry another man, it’s fine. And if you don’t want to give us any grandchildren, we’re fine without them. For all we want is for you to be happy.”_

Through the strong wall of exhaustion, a little smile makes it to his lips. “Thank you, Mum, but I really want to do this.”

That night, while watching Harry Potter grow into the greatest wizard of his time, Phichit and Yuuri rip every single poster of Viktor to pieces.

 

 

***

Yuuri feels like one of those anime protagonists who have suddenly been swept away to a completely different universe. The world around him is so clean and bright, its colours varying in different shades of brown, black and white. Its borders look like they’re made of glass and the people around him are stylish yet incredibly busy, rushing from one place to another in a speed he could never produce without actually running. Yuuri swallows quietly at the sight and leans back against the wall on the bench he was asked to wait on for his interviewer to arrive. He feels so out of place right now, like a peasant in his black jeans and long blue-grey cardigan. He should at least have left his worn-out sneakers home. Yuuri could swear a woman he met in the elevator earlier gave his shoes a look that could also be used when encountering one’s most disliked meal. He wants to travel back home already…

”Hi, you must be Yuuri!”

Yuuri raises his gaze, a very beautiful tanned woman has appeared in front of him, smiling at him in a friendly way. She is wearing a black floral dress and has tied her long dark hair into a side-ponytail. Now that he thinks about it, her voice sounded familiar, too.

“Yeah. Are you possibly Sara?” Yuuri asks and rises to his feet, offering his hand to the woman. She smiles and instead, pulls him into a warm hug.

“I’m so glad you remembered!” Sara says so happily that Yuuri might believe she actually means it. Her friendly actions startled him a little at first, but he is pretty sure that he could like her nevertheless. At least she doesn’t seem to be constantly judging him.

Yuuri follows Sara to the end of a long corridor and comes to a room that probably looks like any other in the building. It’s very spacious, decorated with elegant furniture that might be straight from the pages of some high-classed magazine that Yuuri wouldn’t even dare to browse through. The view isn’t half-bad, either, if one likes to observe the busy life of Manhattan, taking place in the shadows of the skyscrapers.

“Please, sit down,” Sara offers, gesturing at the leather armchair before him. Yuuri takes a step but freezes, when he notices the camera man behind the chair opposite to him. Somehow he had managed to forget that he wasn’t here just to talk. He is now part of the entertainment, an actor who has to survive through the play without his script.

Sara seems to notice his growing anxiety and places her hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry about Jake, let’s pretend we’re here alone, like two friends talking about our lives in a café or something. You can ignore him completely, just focus on me, okay?”

Yuuri nods and sighs in relief when Jake takes a step to his right so that Yuuri doesn’t need to stare at his chest when facing Sara. The woman pours him a glass of water, which he accepts without second questions. He can finally feel his body starting to relax, Sara isn’t making a scene about the situation and allows him to take some time to gather himself. This time, the toxic feelings locked inside of him stay asleep.

“So, Yuuri Katsuki, 25 years old and a skating instructor,” Sara begins, her eyes glimmering, “tell me, what made you apply for the show?”

_The biggest mistake of my life._

“Well, um, it’s been a bit difficult to find someone I’d like to be in a relationship with… I’m not very social and I’ve been pretty busy with my studies and my work. Also, it’s not easy for me to fall for someone, so, yeah… I’m kind of tired of it. I’d like to have someone to share my life with, someone who just doesn’t disappear right away.”

Yuuri feels like he has been making things up, although he is not exactly lying about anything – he wouldn’t dare before Sara’s eyes. Still, the things he just blurted out were not the initial reason for him to take part of the show. It all started from an accident, then turned into a pathetic mission of getting rid of his feelings for Viktor. That’s something he doesn’t want to share with the whole States, though, but concealing things isn’t the same thing as lying, right?

Sara nods thoughtfully. “You said it’s not easy for you to fall in love. Would you like to tell me a little more about it?”

A freezing wave sweeps across his body, he should have seen it coming, of course she would cling to it. His mouth feels so dry suddenly, although he just had a full glass of water.

_I can always walk away if she says something mean, Phichit promised I could do that._

“Um, it takes a lot of time and I rarely feel sexual attraction towards anyone, so…”

“I see. So did I understand correctly that you’re somewhere on the asexual spectrum?”

“Yeah, I consider myself demisexual.”

“Okay. Now, please correct me if I’m wrong, but are demisexuals those people who feel sexual attraction only to people with whom they have a strong emotional bond? Alright,” Sara says, when Yuuri nods at her description, “that’s fine. Thank you for sharing it with me. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pressured you. Are you feeling okay?”

Yuuri frowns, the anxiety has stopped climbing out of its prison, left all confused. “Aren’t you going to say something like that’s not a thing or that I should get a medication or something?”

Now, it’s Sara’s turn to look confused. “Why would I say something like that?” she begins, sounding a little upset that Yuuri even suggested those things. “Don’t tell me someone has said those things to you before?”

“A few people in university, although they stopped doing it when my best friend told them to go to hell. And once, when I had the regular health check, the nurse tried to force me to take some meds when I told her I wasn’t sexually active, nor that interested in sex in general. She… she told me there was something seriously wrong with me and wanted to find a way to cure me.”

“That’s a horrible thing to say, so unprofessional of her!” Sara snaps in a high voice, her eyes flaming. Yuuri almost jumps a little at her reaction, he wouldn’t have guessed that the sweet-talking woman could possess such a fiery temper.

“You know, my ex-girlfriend was ace and sometimes people who I thought were my friends came to say to me that I’m wasting my time with my girlfriend and should dump her or cheat on her so that I could get an _actual_ relationship and have sex and stuff. And they dared to say that all right in front of my girlfriend, like she wasn’t even there! I slapped a few of them pretty hard and would probably have bitten their heads off if my girlfriend hadn’t stopped me. Still, their cheeks were burning when I passed them on my way to class the next day.”

For the first time since the beginning of the conversation, Yuuri meets the cameraman’s eyes. Jake is looking a little uncomfortable, probably thinking that Sara is sharing too much information. Yuuri wonders how much of the footage they can actually use on the show.

Sara, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to care one bit about it.

“I’m sorry, I got a little fired up,” she says with an exhale, “it’s just so frustrating to witness that people still act like assholes to each other, even if we’re already close to the 2020s. Who can judge how other people love? It’s none of their business, really. Some people love multiple people at the same time, some people are happy by loving just their friends and family. And yet no form of love is superior to another.”

“I agree,” Yuuri says, “it’s so weird how we all claim to be so tolerant of different people, yet we still judge each other behind our backs.”

“Exactly and that kind of action should stop!” Sara declares, raising her hand like she was finishing some inspirational speech. Then, her expression softens a little and she leans forward to take Yuuri’s hand on her own. “You know what, Yuuri, I think you should be very proud of yourself that you had courage to apply for _Married at First Sight_ , especially because you have faced people that haven’t treated you well. I believe it’s important for people on the asexual spectrum, too, to have someone they can relate to. With you on the show, I think we can shatter that harmful stereotype of aces being some ‘robots without feelings’.”

“I want to do my best, but I’m also a bit scared,” Yuuri confesses, fearing his voice might crack. Sara brushes the back of his hand gently with her fingers, making his skin feel warmer.

“It’s alright to feel that way. Just remember, you’re not obligated to do anything you don’t want to, not even with your future husband. Communication is the key, I’m sure you will find a mutual understanding if you just discuss these things together.”

Yuuri’s heart skips a beat, so he is going to get a husband, after all. “Wasn’t that supposed to be a surprise? The gender of my spouse?”

“Oh,” Sara says and starts to giggle when realizing her mistake, “well, I don’t think that was too big a spoiler. Besides, everyone else knows the gender of their future partner already, so it would have been unfair to hide it just from you. Before I forget, would you like to write a letter to him? My colleague should ask the same of him and we would send it to you before the wedding.”

In an hour or so, Sara walks him back to the elevator and hugs him goodbye, wishing him good luck for the show. Yuuri flashes her a little smile and takes a step back, just long enough to get out of the way of the closing doors. Before the elevator begins its journey to the ground floor, Yuuri can hear Sara greet someone, whose name he doesn’t manage to catch. Crimson takes over his face after a short delay, could it be that his future husband was just getting off the elevator next to him? His pulse is starting to grow faster like his heart had decided to challenge the world’s best sprinters.

As Yuuri steps on the busy streets of Manhattan, he realizes he hasn’t thought about Viktor at all since the beginning of the interview.


	3. The death of a bachelor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri’s heart has decided not to cooperate with him at all today. Its throb echoes loudly in his ears, the tone belonging more likely to a person who is about to be sent to a guillotine than to a person who is close to being wed. He walks around in a shaky circle, trying to keep his breathing steady. It’s been a while since he’s been this close to death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, a huge thank you to everyone who stopped by and left me kudos & comments! I was so pissed off at myself earlier for posting the first chapter at a really bad time and having a pathetic start, so I literally woke up at 5 am to post the second one in hopes of getting at least a little more attention (time zones are killing me, haha). Apparently, it was worth it, for I managed to gain such wonderful encouragement from you! You gave me enthusiasm to return quickly to this story and I’d hug every single one of you as a thank you if I could.
> 
> So, this is the chapter where the boys are finally going to see each other for the “first” time, though before that you get to enjoy for example Yuuri’s not so wild bachelor party and decide whether Yuuri or Viktor wrote a better letter to the other. Also, Yuuri and Viktor are wearing [these tuxedos](https://yurioniceanime.tumblr.com/post/154546410475/official-yoi-art-of-yuuri-and-viktor-wedding), while you can see the tuxedos of Phichit, Chris, Otabek & Yurio [here](http://vyctornikiforov.tumblr.com/post/160102551770).
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading!

_”Dear husband-to-be,_

_I must confess to you that I feel utterly nervous when writing this to you. I’ve never been good at expressing myself through words, neither spoken nor written. It feels even harder to write to you because I can’t form a picture of you in my head. You’re still so far away from me._

_But then I started to think that maybe I’m not the only one who feels this way. Maybe you also feel nervous of the things to come. Maybe you can’t imagine me yet, either. And maybe you’re waiting to get to know me as much as I want to get to know you._

_I believe this experience will be special in every possible meaning of the word. Let’s do our best and support each other through it, not only on those days when we do nothing but smile but also on those when it feels hard to carry on._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Your future husband”_

Viktor raises his gaze from the letter and beams at his laptop that has been laid on the coffee table in front of him. Both of his listeners stay unimpressed, their expressions indifferent next to each other.

“Well? Isn’t he dreamy?”

 _“Judging from the way you fanboyed about the letter earlier, I thought the guy had written you some Shakespearian shit,”_ Yuri blurts out and squints a little when he mentions the ‘Shakespearian shit’, which definitely is an insult to Viktor’s taste in literature. He’s in the middle of braiding his long blonde locks and is seemingly more interested in doing his hair than hearing any news about Viktor’s wonderful husband-to-be. _“So I don’t understand why you’re making such a fuss about it. I’ve read lyrics that are made by some nobody and they’re far better than that.”_

 _“I wouldn’t say it was bad,”_ Chris says quickly when Viktor raises his eyebrow at Yuri’s remark, _“but Yuri does have a point. The letter feels, how should I put it, a bit distant and not very personal.”_

“You guys just don’t get it,” Viktor says in a singsong and squeezes the letter lovingly in his hands. The mental image is very clear, his fiancé sitting at the table, ruffling his hair and trying to produce the most beautiful letter in the world. Viktor decides to frame the letter and set it beside his bed so that he can admire it every night before going to sleep.

“Can’t you see it, how polite he is being here? And what a nice penmanship, he’s diligent, I can tell! I bet he is a real gentleman and probably a very thoughtful and smart guy. I like smart guys.”

Yuri lets out a loud groan, imitating a gag reaction.

_“You like just anyone who gives you some attention!”_

“That’s not true. You, for example, are giving me some attention right now, but I don’t consider you a man of my dreams in any aspect,” Viktor strikes back and turns his attention to Makkachin who is lumbering towards him, right on time to miss Yuri flip him off. He stretches his arm so that the dog can see the letter better.

“Look, Makkachin, you’re going to get another papa soon, isn’t that nice? Can you smell his scent? Doesn’t he smell lovely?”

Makkachin tilts his head a little like he was trying to decide how to react on Viktor’s behaviour. Then, to Viktor’s horror, he sinks his teeth into the paper, tearing the left corner off.

“No, bad dog, why would you do that? You can’t eat my love letter!” Viktor cries and storms after his dog who doesn’t seem to have any intention of returning the missing signature. Both Chris and Yuri roar with laughter when Viktor tries to pull the paper out of Makkachin’s mouth, grimacing as his dog’s saliva gets stuck in his fingers.

 _“Your mystery man better be a real prince charming since you were willing to go that far to save the letter,”_ Chris hums teasingly as though he was enjoying the best episode of his new favourite television series. _“Maybe you can force him to write you another one when you’re married, this time only a real sickeningly sweet one or a letter you would never show to your parents, nor the sweet young Yuri here.”_

Yuri gives the camera a very disgusted glare. _“I don’t wanna hear any more about your weird-ass kinky shit. I hope I don’t stumble upon you at the wedding!”_

Chris just chuckles when Yuri’s frame disappears from the screen. _“I need to go too, Vitya, but we’ll see each other in a couple of days. Let’s have a nice bar tour for your bachelor party when Markus and I arrive.”_

“Definitely. Say hi to your boyfriend for me!” Viktor says and waves lightly at the camera before cutting off the connection. He logs out of Skype and opens the mail he received from the production team last week, a message full of last minute reminders. Viktor checks it through out of reflex, even though he knows he hasn’t missed anything. Never in his life has he taken care of anything so much in advance.

Only seven days left and he is finally going to meet his husband.

 

 

***

A whistle cuts through the air, ceasing the laughter that echoes in the high ceiling of the Ice Castle, voices filled with playful competitiveness. It’s always like this when the class ends, the kids are given some time to skate around the rink, doing whatever they want to as long as it’s not anything that might lead to injuries. Usually, the last minutes of the lesson are spent on challenges of speed and gracefulness, though no victor is ever crowned. Yuuri likes how innocent his students still are, despite the will of developing their skills to the greatest, they never show envy towards each other. If one learns something faster than the others, they’re always willing to help their fellow rink-mates with their struggles. He wishes they could still be this sincere when entering the big competitions one day.

“Okay, everyone, gather around,” Yuuri yells and claps his hands to strengthen the message. “The class is over but I have something important to tell you.”

The kids skate obediently to him and gather in a half-circle in front of him. The group he currently teaches consists of eight children of ages 7 to 9. The girls make the majority, though the chemistry of the group works so well that no one seems to mind it. If the slightly devilish Nishigori triplets were the only girls in the group, the situation might have been a bit different, but fortunately the best friend duo Vicky and Kathleen keep them in check. They’re also the oldest in the class, often acting quite precociously, which has helped them to earn some respect from their fellow students. The boys, Felix and Ilyas, are both sometimes rather wild, and for some reason have formed a strange rivalry with the triplets. And last but not least there’s Asha, who prefers to be called just by their first name. If Yuuri had to pick who has the most potential to be the next rising star of this generation, Asha would definitely be the one. He hopes they will make their dream reality one day so that Yuuri can also admire their flawless movements from his armchair, remembering he was also part in making them into the best figure skater of United States.

“So, I’ve mentioned this to you earlier, but I’m going to take a vacation from work and I’ll not be here teaching you for a month or so. But you don’t need to worry, the class will still be held regularly and Yuuko will give her all to continue training you in my place.”

“Ugh, we’re going to have a rough time, if Mum’s gonna coach us,” Loop sighs and makes everyone around her mumble in agreement.

“Practising hard is important if you want to improve your skills,” Yuuri reminds them, “and I know you’re all very capable of that. You’re going to be fine, I’m sure Yuuko won’t drive you to total exhaustion.”

“But Mr Yuuri, why are you going to be absent for so long?” Asha asks, “are you going on a vacation or something?”

“Well, I guess you could call it a vacation,” Yuuri laughs nervously, “I’m getting married and I need some time to get to know my future partner.”

The silence lasts only for two seconds and then everyone starts to shout congratulations at him, forgetting good manners immediately. The kids are so excited about the news that they fail to notice that Axel, Lutz and Loop aren’t taking part in the scene. They already know everything there is to know through their parents.

“Is your wife pretty?” Felix asks straight away, always the first to come up with questions in any situation.

”Actually, it’s a husband,” Yuuri corrects politely. He likes the current atmosphere in the States, for a statement like this isn’t that surprising anymore, at least not in children’s opinion.

“Okay, well, is he taller than you then?” the boy insists, apparently he doesn’t want to drop the subject any time soon. He is craving for some information, a little Sherlock Holmes he is. But Yuuri can see he is not the only one interested in his marriage, they all are waiting for his response with wide eyes, tongues ready to produce additional questions. Yuuri wonders how far he needs to go to come up with believable lies.

“I bet he is, otherwise they would be such a short couple,” Ilyas comments before Yuuri can decide what to say about the height of his husband-to-be.

“You’re right, he is a little taller than me,” Yuuri says lightly, it’s easier to come up with a lie when someone has given him a base of some kind. It could be quite possible, Americans are typically quite tall, at least compared to Japanese people. Of course, he can’t be sure of his husband’s ethnic background, but something tells him he is not getting an Asian spouse. Yuuri’s heart skips a beat when he notices how the Nishigori triplets exchange knowing looks and grin mischievously at him, telling they have spotted the lie. They’re also coming to the wedding and they know everything concerning Yuuri’s unusual marriage, are always first in line to ask for any possible updates about the show. Luckily for him, Yuuko has threatened to ban social media from them for two years if they slip anything about _MAFS_ to anyone.

“Is he handsome? Do you have any pictures of him?” Vicky asks, her eyes full of little bright stars. Of course she had to ask that, being a walking fairy tale dictionary and a desperate fan of Disney love stories.

“Unfortunately, I don’t have any pictures of us together yet, he’s more into taking photos than I am,” Yuuri lies again. “But I assure you he is very handsome.”

_He has to be, otherwise they wouldn’t want him on TV. I still don’t get why they picked me, though._

“I hope we’re going to see him at some point,” Kathleen says, a small polite smile twisting her lips upwards, “at least when you come back. You will come back, won’t you, Mr Yuuri?”

“Of course I will, I don’t think I could leave you for a longer time,” Yuuri says, his words clean of lies this time.

They end the class with a group hug, Yuuri sandwiched in the middle, and the children congratulate him once more before hurrying to their locker rooms. There’s still some time until the next lesson, so Yuuri leaves his skates on and circles around the rink a few times, jumping to the beats of the music flowing inside his head. Without his glasses on, the world around him seems blurry, full of the softest of shapes, usually he feels insecure when being trapped in the middle of it. On the ice, however, he never feels that way. When he’s wearing his skates, the blurry world becomes the most intriguing one, the world where his other senses take control and life runs through his veins more vividly than ever. In spite of the things that happened in the past, nothing could take away his love for skating, its roots planted too deep.

Someone starts to clap, breaking the magic on the same heartbeat. Yuuri turns to the direction of the sound and squints to figure out who the figure might be. He is sure that the person is not Yuuko, for they’re quite tall and muscular. From the colours, he decides it’s probably Celestino.

“Bravo, Yuuri! Magnificent!” his former coach praises him, accent slipping like each time he is particularly excited. “You do belong on the ice!”

“Please, that wasn’t anything remarkable. Just me fooling around,” Yuuri says as he skates to Celestino and steps out of the rink, ready to get the skates off. His ex-coach doesn’t let him escape easily, though.

“Nonsense, don’t underestimate yourself. You’re still a very good skater even though you’re not part of the competitive scene. Had things gone differently, you could have become a world-class star.”

Something cold squeezes Yuuri’s heart a little, sending shivers through his entire body. He forces himself to maintain the casual look and sits down on the bench to undo the laces of his skates.

“Are you still coming to the wedding?” Yuuri asks, trying to change the subject. It seems to work the way he wants; even through the lack of sharpness he can see Celestino’s face light up.

“You’re doubting that I wouldn’t attend the wedding of my star student? What kind of a question is that? Of course I’ll be there, I want to witness you become a married man with my very own eyes! And if possible, I also want to witness you become a happy man,” Celestino cries and lays his hand on Yuuri’s shoulder. “You’re a good kid and deserve the best. That man better give it to you.”

Yuuri smiles back at him. Even though Celestino was a bit demanding a coach from time to time (and according to Phichit, he still is), he has always been supportive of him, the trait he values the most. With people like him on his side, Yuuri is sure he will survive through the wedding and keep the anxiety at peace in its cell.

 

 

***

The sound of the doorbell interrupts the lively chatter. Yuuri pushes the glasses to Phichit and asks him to take care of serving the punch and heads to the hallway to let the last arrival in. He checks his appearance one last time before forcing a smile on his face and opening the door to the cameraman, the one that was with him in the interview. The production team is going to shoot some footage here in his and Phichit’s apartment tonight, in hopes of getting something interesting enough to be shown on the television when the newest season of _MAFS_ starts airing.

“Please, come in,” Yuuri offers, “would you like something to drink or to eat?”

“Thank you, I’m fine,” Jake says with a smile and lowers his gaze, his eyes squinting a little when he notices Yuuri’s bare feet. “Do you want me to get my shoes off?”

“Please, if it’s not too much bother.”

“Of course not. I’m here at your home as a guest and shall follow your rules. Please, show the way.”

Yuuri takes him to their living room where his tiny party group has gathered. Yuuko and Takeshi are sitting on the sofa, still managing to look quite newly-wed despite being closer to their 10-year anniversary than to the first year one. Phichit is in the middle of laying down the food they’ve bought for the night, most of it rather unhealthy, of course. He is blabbering something to Leo de la Iglesia and Guang-Hong Ji, both of them his fellow-skaters, the former representing the United States and the latter China, although he also trains in the States nowadays. Yuuri still thinks that they’re more of Phichit’s friends than his, for Phichit has known them longer and has spent more time with them than him, but on the other hand his best friend always drags him along when the duo is in the town and has also added him to their group chat. Yuuri doesn’t mind, he gets well along with them, thanks to their laid-back and calm personalities. Their only flaw is that they’re rather easily persuaded to Phichit’s schemes, especially if it has something to do with social media. Naturally, Leo and Guang-Hong were both very excited when Yuuri told he was going to be on a reality show and invited them to his wedding.

“Everyone, this is Jake,” Yuuri introduces and the room fills with noise for a few seconds when everyone shouts their names to the man in return (Phichit is the loudest and remembers to mention being Yuuri’s best man). “As I told you before, he’s going to film us a little tonight.”

“But you don’t need to worry one bit about me, just concentrate on having fun with each other and you’ll soon forget that I’m even here,” Jake continues, “now, if you please, I have mics for you all…”

Of course, Phichit is the first one to rush to him and starts to bombard him with questions related to filming and making television series. Jake answers politely to everything, even when he has moved on to attaching the mics to others. Yuuri is the last one to get his own, it’s rather unnoticeable on the collar of his loose T-shirt. Within a few minutes, he forgets it even exists.

“How’re you feeling, Yuuri, about the wedding, I mean,” Guang-Hong asks. They have now taken over any possible seat of the living room area and are rapidly destroying the contents of the nacho plate. “We’re already flying to New York the day after tomorrow.”

“Pretty fine, I guess,” Yuuri replies, “probably because it still feels so unreal. I bet I’ll start to get nervous for real when we get to the airport on Saturday.”

“That reminds me, Phichit and you went to buy a wedding tuxedo for you the other day, right?” Leo continues, “do you have any pictures of it?”

“Oh no, that’s something we’re not spoiling for you greedy creatures in advance,” Phichit says teasingly and ties his arm around Yuuri’s shoulder, “but I assure you that our boy looks like an angel in it!”

“C’mon, that’s unfair,” Leo huffs, “at least tell us the colour.”

“It’s white,” Yuuri says, not wanting to tease his friends too much. “If the couple to be wed hold a Western-style wedding in Japan, it’s pretty common for grooms to wear white as well. I wanted to have at least something at the wedding that reminds me of our customs.”

“When Yuuko and I got married, she also wanted me to wear white at first,” Takeshi says, his low voice full of laughter, “but then we realized that I looked much better in black. The colour makes you appear a little skinnier. But I’m sure white suits you better than me.”

“You look good in anything, darling,” Yuuko says lovingly and kisses his husband’s cheek, “but Yuuri, I was a little surprised when you told me that you would hold your bachelor party at you home. I was sure that Phichit would drag us to some club or something.”

“He wanted to, but I refused. Besides, it would have been unfair to Guang-Hong, because they wouldn’t have let him in.”

“You’re such a bore, Yuuri, I told you there’s one club that takes in people who are at least 18. We could have gone there, Guang-Hong just wouldn’t have been able to drink anything,” Phichit says, pouting. Yuuri shoots him a warning look.

“Yes, but you know I don’t want to go clubbing with you ever again,” he hisses through his teeth as quietly as he can. Unfortunate to him, Leo manages to pick up the words.

“What, I haven’t heard of that before?! Yuuri, what scandalous have you done, now you need to tell us everything!

“You’re not telling them,” Yuuri snaps to Phichit, “besides, we have a minor here!”

“Excuse me, I’m not a minor although I can’t drink here in the States yet,” Guang-Hong shoots back, his tone surprisingly upset. “You’ve hurt me, Yuuri, but I might forgive you if you share the story with us.”

“Nice one, Guang-Hong!”

Yuuri buries his face in his hands, knowing he has lost the round. “Fine, but Phichit, you’re not telling any embarrassing stories of me at the wedding!”

His best friend pats him on the back, but the gesture is far too light to be considered sincere. “Soooo,” Phichit begins, stressing the words like always when he is starting to tell an interesting gossip he has read online, “you probably think that our Yuuri is such an innocent angel, but don’t let his sweet face fool you! Last New Year, I took him out and we went to the club here in Detroit and our boy had a few more drinks that he probably should have had and then, you never guess what: he went pole dancing there! I can’t believe how he managed to do it so well despite being totally wasted, but everyone in there loved him! Then I lost him for ten minutes before I decided it would be best to take him back home, but jeez, what a night we had!”

“What the heck, Yuuri, you never told us that you were such a party animal,” Takeshi cries, “we need to tell the kids that when they’re a bit older!”

“I’m the same as Dad, I really can’t hold my liquor,” Yuuri murmurs, his face radiating too warmly to his liking. “I tend to go overboard if I start drinking, so I usually try to avoid it. Every time I do it, I end up doing something really embarrassing and forget everything when I sober up completely.”

_Great, now the whole States knows that I’m not only awkward but a horrible drunk, too._

“Oh my god, I almost forgot!” Phichit yells suddenly, “Yuuri got a letter from his husband, you need to hear it out!”

“No, don’t read it out loud!” Yuuri shouts and tries to dash after Phichit, only to be tackled by Takeshi and Leo, both holding him steady on the floor. Phichit shoots a triumphant gaze at him and clears his throat before starting to read the letter in a dramatic voice:

“ _Dear future husband,_

_how I long to see you at last. Ever since I heard I’d be able to take part in the journey with you, I’ve never lived a moment without thinking of you. You are on my mind whenever I buy groceries for dinner and I stop to wonder whether you’d like my favourite foods, too. And whenever I pass a clothing store with beautiful clothes in the display window, I try to picture them on you. But I’m sure no piece of clothing could be worth of you, I’m sure your gorgeousness will sweep me off my feet. It’s like I’ve already fallen for you although I don’t even know your face yet and I’m ready to get to know you in every possible way._

Well, that’s rather steamy, right? Oh, I can’t make out what it says in the two next sentences, Yuuri, did you scribble over it? I bet it was something really dirty, then! Anyway…

 _I wish time could run faster so that I could finally hold you in my arms, never letting you go. I want to be able to wake up next to you for the rest of my life, I want to make you happy every day and give you all the love I have. Please think of me every now and then, too, so that the days could pass a little faster._   

_xoxoxo_

_Your devoted husband.”_

Yuuri presses his burning face against the mattress and can literally feel his soul abandon his body and start the journey for a better place. Phichit, Leo and Takeshi roar with laughter, all desperate for some oxygen. Yuuri can’t believe the universe is so cruel that when he finally receives his first love letter, the whole United States will also hear its content.

“That was probably the sappiest thing I’ve ever heard,” Takeshi says, wiping his eyes clean. His wife hits him in the stomach with her elbow.

“Don’t say that, I think that was very romantic!” Yuuko says firmly, eager to defend the poor anonymous writer. “Besides, don’t you remember the letter you wrote to me when we were in high school?”

Takeshi doesn’t want to be reminded of such things, but luckily for Yuuri, the group proceeds to tease the man instead of him. As he learns that Takeshi filled his love letter with cheesy lines that could have been out of some chick lit, Yuuri starts to relax little by little and by the end of the evening, he can admit that he actually enjoyed his bachelor party. After all, he got to take revenge on Phichit by sharing the embarrassing story from their university years, the one when he was drunk and accidentally sent a very inappropriate love confession to one of their professors instead of the meant soccer captain of the campus team. It goes without saying that Phichit never went on the said professor’s lecture nor watched a single soccer game ever again.

 

 

***

Yuuri was right when he assumed he would start getting nervous in New York but now that he is sitting in front of the dressing table, having his essential make-up done, he feels like the soul trapped inside of his body is constantly screaming. It tries desperately to find a way to break its chains and escape to freedom, this time completely unsuccessful. His reflection looks painfully white and he feels sorry for his stylist to whom the dark circles under his eyes gave such a hard time. The dreams never came to him last night.

“Yuuri, you look so handsome,” Phichit tells him in a bright voice, desperate to cheer him up. He is dressed in a suit that is full light-blue stripes and is probably the only person on the entire planet who can pull off the look. “Your husband will definitely fall head over heels for you the moment he sees you.”

“I’m sorry, Phichit, but can you be silent for a minute?” Yuuri says in the kindest possible voice he can produce at the moment, managing to filter the rudest remarks away. He feels instantly bad for his outburst, but fortunately Phichit seems to understand and flashes him a tiny supportive smile through the mirror. Yuuri makes a mental note that he has to apologize to Phichit after the ceremony, he knows far well that his best friend is only trying to help him and is not responsible for his anxious state. Still, right now it feels impossible to talk to anyone.

There’s a sudden knock on the door and Yuuri feels his pulse sprint away from his control. However, the initial shock turns into relief when a tall brown-haired woman steps inside, her arms outstretched for a hug. Yuuri forgets the presence of the stylist straight away and rushes to greet Minako. She is wearing a turquoise dress and is slightly taller than Yuuri in her heels.

“Look at you, my sweet boy, how stunning you are!” Minako says, her voice cracking a little as if she was on the verge of tears. “I wish your family could have come to witness this with their very own eyes.”

“Is Dad okay?” Yuuri asks worriedly, his mother called him a few days ago and told that his father had caught an influenza and that the whole family would stay in Japan, praying for a quick recovery.

A reassuring smile takes over Minako’s face, removing the fear from Yuuri’s heart. “He’s fine, fortunately it’s not that serious. But you know that when people get older it’s important to be careful with things like these. We don’t get healthy as fast as in your age, Yuuri.”

A polite cough interrupts them, making Yuuri startle a little, serving as the pre-stage for his embarrassment. He was so focused on Minako that he apparently missed someone else entering the room after her. The person behind her is a rather tall, black-haired man who is dressed in a dark-blue suit. He offers his hand to Yuuri with a civil expression.

“Hello, Yuuri. My name is Georgi Popovich and I’m one of the experts in this season of _Married at First Sight_. I’ll be attending you and your husband’s wedding.”

“How do you do,” Yuuri says politely. He had initially wished that Sara would be the one coming to the wedding, for her company was so calming, but he thinks this man will do. While not seemingly open-hearted like Sara, Georgi looks quite thoughtful and kind, so they should get along, too.

“How are you feeling?” Georgi asks, probably trying to analyse his tense behaviour. Yuuri lies that he is fine, but is sure the man saw through it. Still, Georgi lets it be and asks the stylist whether Yuuri is ready for the show.

“I still need to do his hair,” the stylist replies, giving Yuuri’s dark locks a certain look. Yuuri is about to sit back on the stool before the mirror, when Minako lays her hand on his shoulder.

“I will do it, I’d have a private moment with him anyway.”

The stylist shoots a demanding look at Georgi, but when the man doesn’t say anything to the matter, they storm out the room, leaving Yuuri in Minako’s hands. Phichit gives Yuuri a quick hug before disappearing along with Georgi, who promises to wait outside and inform Minako when it’s time for her to return to the hall where the ceremony will be held. Yuuri lets out a content sigh when Minako starts to comb his hair backwards, he didn’t realize before how much he needed a peaceful moment like this.

“I don’t see your glasses anywhere,” Minako remarks after a moment of silence. She’s speaking Japanese to him now, making the situation even less stressful to him.

“I’m wearing contacts, I wanted to look my best for the ceremony.”

“You would have looked just as good with your glasses on, you know,” she says, “but at least you’re not walking down the aisle half-blind. Close your eyes, I’m going to put some spray on your hair before finishing it with wax.”

Yuuri obeys and let’s Minako use all of her magic tricks to make him appear more like a prince. He can’t help but smile a little at his reflection, at this point he can accept the praises of his looks. At least on his wedding day he can call himself beautiful.

Something red and silky touches his cheek gently, Minako is hanging an _omamori_ in her right hand, smiling at his surprised expression.

“Your family asked me to deliver this to you. It was Mari’s idea in the first place,” she says and slips it inside his breast pocket. “There, now it will guard you throughout the ceremony. I’m sure you would have survived even without it, but it’s nicer this way, right? Having your family’s support here with you.”

“It’s nicer this way,” Yuuri repeats and turns over his shoulder to express his gratitude with a direct smile. “Thank you, Minako, for being here.”

Georgi returns, apologizing for appearing so soon, but the shooting will begin soon and they need every guest in the hall immediately. Minako nods and pats Yuuri on the head before following Georgi outside. Yuuri throws his head back and closes his eyes, listening to his pulse echo in the silence. For the first time in years, he prays, though he is not sure to whom it is dedicated. He doesn’t ask for love at first sight, for he knows he has never experienced it in the first place. All he wishes for is a husband with whom he can enjoy at least the following five weeks of the experiment.

 

 

***

“Well well, who do we have here! Phichit Chulanont, I’d never have guessed to find you here!”

Phichit lifts his gaze from his phone screen, eyes widening when he spots the two men a few meters in front of him, having just appeared in the same corridor as him. The shorter, blonde man is wearing a claret tuxedo, while the dark-haired man next to him is dressed in a black suit. Phichit grins a little to himself when he observes their clothes are a little ragged, some couples can’t just keep their hands off each other, not even at someone else’s wedding.

“Well well indeed, hello there, Chris and Markus. Nice to see you two.”

“Are you a friend of the groom?” Markus asks politely. “The other groom, I mean. It’s a bit difficult to address them at the moment, both being grooms, after all.”

“The _best_ friend,” Phichit tells them, stressing the word ‘best’ proudly, “and also the best man.”

“What a coincidence, I’m the best friend and the best man of our groom,” Chris says. “What a small world indeed, I never thought I’d meet my fellow skaters here. But tell uncle Chris something about your groom to satisfy my curiosity.”

“Chris, you can’t go around asking for that,” Markus reminds him strictly, “we’re not supposed to know anything about the other groom yet.”

“It’s okay, I’m sure you guys don’t know him or anything in real life,” Phichit says, “so I think I can spoil a little. Let’s just say that my groom is feeling quite nervous right now, he’s a bit of a worrying kind. But he is a sweet and gentle person and I’m sure he’ll do his best to make your groom happy.”

“Sweet and gentle, huh? Those kind of people tend to be surprisingly good in bed,” Chris laughs and earns a scandalized glare from his boyfriend, “I bet that it will be a fine match. But seriously, Phichit, we need to chat more at the wedding reception. And we need to take a selfie together, to celebrate our lucky meeting here.”

“But you’re not taking any photos now, not looking like that,” Markus snaps and grips Chris from the collar, starting to drag him to the nearest bathroom with him. “Talk to you later, Phichit!”

Phichit sniggers when he hears Chris suggest something about round two and heads back for the ceremony hall. It’s a simple large space filled with white chairs that are supposed to move away after the ceremony has ended, to make more room for dancing and general socializing. He can see that the production team hasn’t used much of the budget for the ceremony nor the reception, both of them being held in the same place. At least the dinner tables in the back have got some candles and flowers on them but if Phichit had been in charge, Yuuri would have received a more glamorous wedding. He hopes they haven’t at least saved on the budget on Yuuri’s husband.

Taking his place in the left corner of the hall, Phichit lets his eyes travel around the room. There aren’t that many guests altogether, though there are a bit more people on Yuuri’s side. Celestino is chatting with Takeshi, while Yuuko is giving the last minute lecture to the triplets (“remember, kids, you cannot post anything online from the wedding, do you understand?”). Minako hurries to her seat next to the children, shooting an amused look at Leo and Guang-Hong’s direction, the both men in the middle of debating whether they could post a bathroom selfie on their social medias or not. Apart from Yuuri’s family, everyone important is around, just enough people to his liking. Phichit couldn’t have seen Yuuri hold a large wedding anyway.

The black-haired man of the expert team comes to the hall and sits a bit further behind from the front, taking his place on the side of Yuuri's husband. Phichit blinks at the sight confusedly, now that he thinks about it he realizes that everyone on this side of the room is at least slightly familiar to him. The last season’s greatest figure skater in men’s single, Yuri Plisetsky, is slouching in the outermost seat of the row, indifferent towards Yakov Feltsman and Lilia Baranovskaya’s criticism of his inelegant posture. He is in the middle of chatting with his fellow skater, Otabek Altin, whose expression shares no interest in the wedding whatsoever. Phichit frowns at the company, the most important people of the Russian figure skating team are present, so is Christophe Giacometti, the self-proclaimed best friend of Yuuri’s soon-to-be husband. Phichit knows only one person who fits in the picture, but that could never be possible, right? He shakes off the thought when Chris and Markus dash in, no apparent change in their earlier looks. Phichit decides not to tease the poor Markus about it and simply smiles at him when he passes him and heads for his seat next to Lilia.

“Okay, everyone is finally present,” says a cameraman of the production team, “please take your positions, we start filming in a minute and call the first groom in in two minutes.”

The wait feels longer than any that Phichit has ever experienced, even longer than waiting for your turn to enter the rink. Still, he manages to keep a calm face, he is a professional performer, after all, and knows how to look good on television. However, the moment Yuuri’s husband walks into the hall his jaw drops, letting an incredulous gasp escape his mouth. Eyes wide, he stares at the rather nervous looking groom, cursing at the situation that prevents him from letting his strongest feelings show.

_Dear god, Yuuri will definitely faint when he sees this!_

 

 

***

Yuuri’s heart has decided not to cooperate with him at all today. Its throb echoes loudly in his ears, the tone belonging more likely to a person who is about to be sent to a guillotine than to a person who is close to being wed. He walks around in a shaky circle, trying to keep his breathing steady. It’s been a while since he’s been this close to death.

A woman of the production team smiles empathically at him. She told Yuuri her name earlier, but the nervousness has swept his memory completely clean. “Would you like to have some water?” she offers, her voice slightly concerned.

“I’m fine, thank you,” Yuuri murmurs, from which anyone could deduce the lie. The woman pours him a glass anyway and leads him on the bench to sit, petting his back gently.

“It’s going to be alright,” she claims so lightly it feels impossible that she actually means it, “trust me.”

Yuuri lets out a hollow laugh, the sound foreign even to his own ears.

“How can you be so sure?”

The woman ponders the answer for a while.

“Because you’ve made it this far, because you’re still here even though you’re scared. I think you are a lot braver than you believe.”

The words don’t take his distressed feelings away, but at least they give him a reason of sorts to accept their existence. Coyly, he turns to her to offer her his gratitude, but freezes when he notices the look on her face. The kindness has been replaced with a focused expression, her left hand pressed against her ear. Yuuri doesn’t need to hear it from her, it’s not that difficult to figure out the situation. They’re all ready, waiting for him. He is there, too. His husband.

The woman raises to her feet, but Yuuri shakes his head politely, he doesn’t need anyone to convoy him, he is strong enough to walk to his husband on his own feet. The woman gives him a thumbs-up and gestures towards the corridor, its end hidden behind a corner. Yuuri slips his fingers inside his breast pocket, the _omamori_ is still there, close to his heart. With his family’s support, Yuuri is sure he will make it through the ceremony. Taking one more deep breath, he starts to walk.

The lights in the hall feel somehow brighter than in the corridor, blinding him for a few seconds. When his vision returns, he realizes his eyes are focused slightly on the wrong spot, for the first thing he sees is Phichit’s shocked expression, the whole look screaming silently at him. Yuuri quickly moves his gaze and finds his husband, only to freeze even worse than Phichit.

Viktor Nikiforov is standing in front of him in a black tuxedo, his smile brighter than any star of the universe.


	4. Put a ring on it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Viktor Nikiforov, do you take Yuuri Katsuki to be your lawful wedded husband, to be loving, faithful and loyal to him for the rest of your life together?” the official asks, his gaze focused on Viktor.
> 
> Viktor squeezes Yuuri’s hand. “I do.”
> 
> Yuuri is sure he is going to have a heart attack soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here we are at the wedding at last! I’m sure this is the chapter you’ve all been waiting for and I can tell you that you’re not alone :D This was a fun chapter to write, so I hope you enjoy it! And once again, thank you for your lovely comments! It was fun for me to read your speculations about whether Yuuri was going to faint or not. But this time I’ve got nothing else to blabber about, so please, just read forward and find out for yourself what happened at the wedding!

_Every hue of white was present on the television screen, happiness undebatable. The couple kissed each other on the lips, a little coyly like it was their first time, but so tenderly like there was no one else in their own universe. Yuuri felt tiny sparks of warmth travel across his face, the scene was so tangible, as if he was taking part in the reception himself. Gripping the pillow tighter, he turned to his older sister, the only one unconcerned about the background noise. She laid on the floor on her stomach, gaze focused on her magazine. Every now and then Mari let her fingers brush through Vicchan’s fur, the traitor had chosen her over Yuuri this time, she was so easily persuaded with snacks, after all._

_“Hey, big sister… Would you like to be married one day?”_

_Mari raised her eyes from her magazine and gave the screen an indifferent look before returning to an article about her favourite boy band._

_“I don’t know, maybe if Takao came to propose to me or something. Why are you asking?”_

_“For no reason. It just crossed my mind, probably because of the show.”_

_“I see. Well, who would you like to marry when you grow up? Yuuko, perhaps?”_

_Yuuri almost choked on nothing._

_“Yuu-chan? What are you implying, big sister?”_

_“I’m not blind, you know,” Mari said matter-of-factly and turned the page, “you better be careful unless you want that Nishigori boy to win her heart first.”_

_“Nishigori has a crush on Yuu-chan?” Yuuri almost yelled, not because of jealousy, merely of pure shock. He would never have guessed it, in his eyes Takeshi seemed always a bit aloof when hanging out with them, sharing no interest in their fascination with Viktor Nikiforov whatsoever. But now that he thought about it, it made sense, maybe Takeshi was feeling jealous of Viktor and feared that Yuuko might like her idol more than him. Yuuri couldn’t blame him, though. Viktor was perfect in every aspect._

_“Don’t tell them that I know,” Mari warned him, no change in her tone, “matters of love are something that outsiders shouldn’t get involved in.”_

_“I won’t,” Yuuri promised and turned back to the television. Whiteness had disappeared and been replaced with neon colours. Yuuri hated the commercials so much, they managed to make everything look cheap and tasteless. He closed his eyes and pondered on Mari’s words for a while, on one hand it could be quite nice to marry Yuuko, but on the other he wasn’t thinking of her when he asked his sister’s opinion about marriage. Mari had always emphasized that it was good to have different options, just in case, and Yuuri hadn’t forgotten the advice. He was sure Viktor Nikiforov would look beautiful in white, too._

***

The whole world is spinning around him, its figures unable to decide whether to blur or sharpen in his eyes. Yuuri’s feet are glued to the floor, at least they still continue to support his body, since his soul has apparently decided to black out. This cannot be real, he must have been sunk into a marsh of prolonged nightmares, those kind of dreams that start with beautiful images but end up destroying everything in the worst possible way. Yuuri almost wants to pinch himself, but his brain has ceased to give commands. All there is left is white mist, through which a few anxious thoughts float to his consciousness.

However, there is always the possibility that this isn’t a dream, but a really sick joke that someone has planned for Yuuri. Someone, to whom he has done something bad in the past and who now wants to take a revenge on him. Still, the option is kind of impossible, since Yuuri socializes with so few people and he is sure none of them is willing to go this far, to hurt him with the most horrible way he can imagine. He once broke one of Phichit’s favourite mugs, though, _The King and the Skater_ themed one, but that was years ago and judging from Phichit’s expression he didn’t see this coming, either. That leaves only one explanation then, the universe has grown irritated of him and has finally decided to punish him. Yuuri’s heartbeat is probably audible to everyone in the hall and the whole States is also going to hear it when the show airs. Every new breath almost gets stuck in his throat, only increasing his will to flight.

_Breaking news: a dime a dozen figure skater teacher left his fiancé, the legendary figure skating champion, at the altar. Read the shocking article here!_

Yuuri can almost see the headlines and more importantly, the comments people would leave on it. Viktor is one of the most popular athletes in the entire world, the ultimate sweetheart of the audience, and his fans are willing to go to extremes if someone even dares to criticize the socks he has picked. The world will definitely hate Yuuri if he dares to leave now and if that happens, it will affect the people around him as well. Parents won’t bring their children to Ice Castle anymore and then Yuuko and Takeshi will face bankruptcy and need to take the triplets to an orphanage for they’re no longer able to support them. And then everyone in Japan will hear about this and people will start to boycott the Yu-topia, too. Yuuri can’t let it happen, he could be able to face the hatred of the entire world but he cannot let his loved-ones suffer because of him. He sucks in a breath and takes the first wobbly step towards Viktor.

Apparently his soon-to-be husband noticed how pathetic he was at trying to carry out such a simple task as walk a few meters, since he meets him halfway and grips his hand, pulling Yuuri to him. Yuuri’s legs almost give out when he feels his body pressed against Viktor’s, his intoxicating scent filling his nose. Viktor smiles tenderly at him and supports his back with one arm, the other brushing a dark strand of hair back to its place.

“Hi, I’m Viktor,” he tells him, voice gentle and velvety at the same time.

“Yeah,” Yuuri replies blankly, amazed that he was even capable of producing understandable words at the moment, “I know.”

At some point in the ceremony Yuuri realizes that he never told his name to Viktor, but it’s too late now, he cannot fix it at this point anymore. It would be rather awkward if he gripped Viktor’s sleeve in the middle of the ceremony, to whisper him something as stupid as “Hi, I’m Yuuri”. At least his husband will eventually learn his name from the official who is to wed them.

Yuuri spends most of the ceremony in a state that is closer to death than living. The words the official reads to them go in one ear and out the other, since it drains every drop of his energy, the act of existing without having a visible mental breakdown. He curses the fact that they are being filmed right now, otherwise Yuuri would have turned to Phichit ages ago, communicating with him only with his expressions. But even though Yuuri can’t even glance in his best friend’s direction, he is sure Phichit knows what he is going through in his head right now. He can sense it in the air, the shock that just won’t die down, so tightly intertwined with disbelief. Yuuri is grateful he is not the only one who feels this way.

The official clears his throat and Yuuri snaps out of his thoughts, realizing Viktor has taken his hand in his own again. They have come to this point already?

“Viktor Nikiforov, do you take Yuuri Katsuki to be your lawful wedded husband, to be loving, faithful and loyal to him for the rest of your life together?” the official asks, his gaze focused on Viktor.

Viktor squeezes Yuuri’s hand. “I do.”

Yuuri is sure he is going to have a heart attack soon.

“Yuuri Katsuki, do you take Viktor Nikiforov to be your lawful wedded husband, to be loving, faithful and loyal to him for the rest of your life together?”

Yuuri is not even sure what he said for he can’t hear his own voice anymore, but apparently he managed to parrot what Viktor just said, since they proceed to the exchange of rings. For some reason Viktor slips the ring to his right ring finger instead of the left one, but Yuuri doesn’t question anything at this point and just copies the act. He can finally let out a sigh of relief, he survived the whole ceremony despite feeling like dying all the time. The _omamori_ must have helped him through it, Yuuri makes a mental note to thank his family later.

However, the official opens his mouth once more: “Viktor and Yuuri, by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you married. You may kiss.”

_What?!_

Before Yuuri can realize what is happening, he feels a warm, unfamiliar taste on his lips. His heart skips a beat; his idol and long-time crush has just gripped his chin and pulled him into a gentle kiss.

Yuuri doesn’t kiss him back.

 

 

***

An impatient clang interrupts the chattering, Viktor’s best man rises to his feet, holding his wine glass with a very confident smile. Yuuri remembers seeing him on television when watching the figure skating competitions. Christophe Giacometti has announced to retire after this season and even though he is not able to reach his personal best anymore, his performances are still highly enjoyable (despite being close to making Yuuri extremely uncomfortable with their exuding sexuality). Yuuri snatches a glimpse of his husband next to him, his expression is expecting, eyes reflecting a hint of hidden laughter. Yuuri swallows and prays that his sense of humour matches his husband’s.

“Dear guests, as the best man and best friend of Viktor Nikiforov I’d like to share a few words with you,” Christophe says, his appearance anything but uncomfortable despite the presence of multiple cameras. “Wonderful,” he comments when the final whispers have been shared and everyone has focused on him, “at least for once I’ve been able to gain everyone’s attention. I can assure you it has never been easy when standing on the same ice with Viktor here, although I can’t understand why, since his skills are hardly mediocre.”

A few people laugh at the sarcastic remark, Viktor most loudly. Yuuri can’t even bring himself to fake a smile, his heart is bounding warningly, afraid that something stressful will be said in the speech. He can see in his peripheral vision that Phichit looks rather annoyed because of the fact he couldn’t hold his speech first. Yuuri is not sure whether he can take another speech after this one has been finished.

“So, once more, hello to everyone. To those who don’t know me, my name is Christophe Giacometti and I’m a figure skater representing Switzerland. I can see that there are quite a few figure skaters present, but I can assure you I am the most experienced of us all. That said, please support me during the upcoming competitions so that an old man like me will be able to leave the ice alive.”

Yuri Plisetsky mutters something in Russian and the young dark-haired man next to him hits him in the arm with his elbow.

“But even though I’m the one in the spotlight right now, I should probably talk to you about the wedding, because it’s the reason we’re all here. I bet this is a very special occasion to everyone and I’m sure none of us has been in as weird a reception as this one – apart from the one Viktor and I took part in Las Vegas some years ago, but Viktor made me promise that I wouldn’t say a word about it here. I’m sure some people were pretty shocked at first when they heard that their loved ones had decided to marry a total stranger, but when it comes to me, I was simply happy to hear that. After all, it was my idea that Viktor should apply to _Married at First Sight_ and I was so pleased that he listened to my advice. As you can see, my advice never fails, just look at the gem Viktor managed to get. I bet everyone here is secretly jealous of Viktor having the beautiful Yuuri Katsuki as his groom, even those of us who are taken and live in a happy relationship. But I think I must drop this subject now or otherwise my boyfriend won’t be very generous to me tonight.”

Yuuri catches a glimpse of Takeshi mouthing something to Yuuko, probably something like “I’m sure the kids didn’t get that”, although the most scandalized listeners seem to be the Russian guests. The old couple mutters something angrily to each other, while Yuri Plisetsky has shifted to a position that would make it easier for him to walk out of the room at any moment. Yuuri lays his eyes on the white tablecloth in front of him, feeling how crimson creeps to his cheeks. He twitches a little when Viktor wraps his left arm around him.

Chris doesn’t seem to care about the disapproving reactions he has caused and continues his speech: “Now, I think I should share something about my relationship with Viktor. We have known each other for 12 years now, how time flies indeed! We met at the European championships, Viktor was a 17-year-old dancing queen and I an innocent 15-year-old child who had left the safe meadows of Switzerland and didn’t return as the same. During the years I’ve learnt some interesting things about Viktor and I think I should share the best ones here with you. First, Viktor always comes up with good excuses when wanting to buy something. For example, when he was celebrating his twenty-first birthday and had had a few too many drinks, he wanted to buy an island in the Pacific and found a colony for gay people like us. Unfortunately, his coach had managed to freeze all of his credit cards before he could make his plan reality. Still, we members of the LGBT community have never abandoned our dream of world domination so prepare yourselves, since we’re coming – sorry, that pun was unintentional. Also, as a side note, Viktor likes to sleep naked, so I’m sure Yuuri will have the sweetest of dreams with him. If he manages to fall asleep with this hunk, I mean.”

Yuuri is sure he won’t, but for other reasons than those Christophe is implying. He prays the man will soon come to the end of his speech. For some reason, he doesn’t mind anymore that his parents and sister were unable to attend the wedding.

“I’d also have loved to tell you something about Viktor’s bachelor party, but since he already bought my silence, I must respect his privacy. However, I’m easy to bribe, so if you’re interested in the photographic evidence I have in my cell phone, come talk to me afterwards and I’ll see what I can do about it.”

Yuri Plisetsky is about to stand up, but the man next to him pulls him back to his seat.

“But I think that everyone here is starting to get hungry, so that means I must finish my speech. Although I’m not a married man myself yet – and I’m not sure whether I’ll be taken anymore after the reception – I believe I’m still in the position to give this young couple some advice. First, take care of each other and remember to communicate about your needs and wishes. Marriage is never easy, but I’m sure you guys will be able to solve all your problems and I can tell from experience that even though Viktor can sometimes be rather headstrong, he never wants to hurt his loved ones. By the way, this advice is very handy on other occasions as well, Yuuri. If you ever wish Viktor to buy you anything, just flash him a teary look and I can guarantee that you will get it.”

Yuuri wants Viktor to end the speech, but that’s not something he can ask for.

“And last but not least, a good friend of mine who lives in Northern Europe has once told me one of his country’s infamous proverbs: _one always sleeps better if one has_ … you probably know what I mean. To your knowledge, I have tested the truthfulness of this one and can assure it works like a dream; this time the pun was intentional. So, if you keep my advice in mind, I’m sure your marriage will consist of happiness. Ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glasses for a toast to our amazing grooms here, for Misters Nikiforov and Katsuki who will hopefully take a double surname at some point and confuse the poor officials with such a long combination. Ladies and Gentlemen – I give you – Viktor and Yuuri!”

The guests raise their glasses in unison and Yuuri empties his own in one gulp. Phichit is stirring in his place, ready to open his mouth for another speech, but Yuuri shakes his head furiously, pleading his best friend to drop the plan. He feels a little guilty when Phichit obeys him and sits down with everyone, he knew how much time his friend had spent on writing his speech. However, his heart is too weak and is threatening him with a walkout if it has to bear another stressful situation like this.

The guests also seem to be happy that no more speeches are to come for the time being and the meal is served. The main course is a steak of sorts, but Yuuri wouldn’t be surprised if he was chewing the tablecloth instead; everything tastes the same in his mouth. Viktor keeps talking next to him, Yuuri has no idea what the subject is anymore, and he reacts to his husband’s words with sounds that could mean anything. At some point, he snaps out of the mist, for Viktor has touched his hand to gain his attention. Yuuri turns nervously to meet his gaze, its intensity almost driving him away.

“So tell me, Yuuri, have you ever had any steamy romantic experiences?”

Yuuri nearly chokes on his drink. “Sorry?”

Viktor simply winks at him.

“You know, last New Year I was in a club and there was this one person who…”

Yuuri can’t take it anymore.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” he mumbles as he bounces to his feet, “excuse me.”

Phichit noticed his move straight away and rushes after him, keeping his voice down the whole way to the bathroom. Yuuri yanks the door open and almost collapses against the sinks, his reflection resembles more a ghost than a living human-being. Trembling takes control of his body immediately.

“Phichit, I’m not going mad, am I? I’m married to _the_ Viktor Nikiforov, not to his doppelganger?”

“You’re not going mad,” Phichit assures, his arms tightly around him to support his posture, “he is the real deal indeed. I can’t believe it either, what were the odds that this would happen?”

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Yuuri whispers, fighting back tears, “I’ve tried so hard to get over him, I applied for this stupid show to get rid of his control of my life and then the universe decides to destroy everything I’ve been working on!”

“Maybe we’re not screwed yet,” Phichit tries, “tell me, Yuuri, have you really got over Viktor yet?”

Yuuri bites his lip. ”Well, it’s not that easy to forget someone whom you have admired for years, especially when that someone hasn’t basically done anything to earn such treatment from you.”

“See, this is not a disaster! I know you’re feeling very confused and uncomfortable right now, but maybe we can turn this to your advantage. You’re like the protagonist of some romantic comedy, think how lucky you are. You are married to your idol, there are lots of people who would give anything for that! Besides, from my observations I can tell Viktor is pretty smitten with you already.”

“No, he is not,” Yuuri mumbles and turns his eyes to his best friend. “Phichit, he started to tell me a story about his _ex_.”

Phichit’s jaw drops and disgust takes over his always so cheerful face. “He did not! How dare he, say something like that at my best friend’s wedding? I’m going to accost him, nobody is treating you that way!”

Yuuri grips his wrist quickly and shakes his head. “Don’t, there’re cameras, remember? I don’t want to make a scene here, I really don’t. I just… don’t know how I’m ever going to make it through the five weeks.”

As first tears roll down his cheeks, Phichit pulls him into a calming embrace. “Shh, Yuuri, it’s alright, take your time, I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, you can always walk away, nobody is going to judge you. And maybe, maybe Viktor didn’t mean any harm by his stupid remark. Maybe he just wanted to lighten the atmosphere, you know, by telling you something silly about some random person in order to prove how much happier he is here with you? Yes, maybe that was the case, Viktor Nikiforov may be an idiot but I have never seen him act mean towards anyone. It’s okay, Yuuri, please don’t cry. Everything will be good, trust me.”

The door of the bathroom slams open again, causing Yuuri to detach himself shakily from Phichit. A tall boy in black trousers and a striped jacket gives them a very mean look, his green eyes narrowing at the sight. His long blonde hair reaches a bit past his shoulders, while he has tied some of it to a high ponytail. Yuuri and Phichit give way to Yuri Plisetsky as he storms to the sinks, his whole aura being so murderous that they find it best to keep quiet. In the silence, the gurgle of the faucet feels almost unbearable in their ears.

Yuri closes the faucet and shakes most of the water out of his hands, not bothering to get a paper towel. “So, you’re Viktor’s groom,” he says finally, accent showing and voice so low like he was about to start a fight. Yuuri is probably overreacting again.

“Yes, I’m Yuuri, nice to meet you,” he tries and offers his hand to Yuri. The boy glares at it without any sign of respect.

“I don’t like you.”

Yuuri is so surprised that he can only blink at the comment. “Right…”

Clearly that wasn’t a good way to respond, as Yuri squints his eyes aggressively and raises his volume so high that Yuuri wouldn’t marvel even if the people outside the building could hear him. “What the hell was that supposed to mean, huh? Are you trying to fuck me around, you fucking shithead?”

“I’m sorry, but maybe you should calm down a little and leave my best friend alone,” Phichit says sternly and steps in front of Yuuri, unconcerned about the fact that the Russian boy is a lot taller than him. “If you continue to behave like that, I’ll make sure someone will kick you out of the reception. And don’t you underestimate me, if I see you talk to Yuuri one more time, I’ll do it!”

Yuri lets out a hiss that could mean anything from “fine” to “I’ll murder you in your bed”. “Alright then, hide behind your friend, you loser, but I’ll tell you something before I go. Viktor doesn’t need two Yuris in his life, not especially if the other one is a wimp like you! I hope he realizes soon what kind of a person you are and gets rid of you so that you asshole won’t ruin his life completely!”

Before Yuuri or Phichit can say anything, the boy marches past them, shutting the door so hard that the mirrors below the sinks stir a little. Yuuri realizes he forgot how to breathe for a few seconds.

“What… what was that about?”

“I don’t know, but don’t mind it, Yuuri, that boy is an asshole to everyone,” Phichit says in a disgusted voice, “you should have seen him in the competitions, he treats his fans like shit. He is probably viewing Viktor as his older brother figure or something, since he was his mentor in the beginning of his career, and now he feels envious of you because you’re taking him away. Still, that doesn’t justify him being a douche. I’m going to kick his ass at the next Grand Prix!”

This time, there is a polite knock on the door and Leo peeks carefully in. “There you are, Yuuri, I was looking for you. They want to photograph you with Viktor and… uh-oh, you don’t look that well, Yuuri. Are you alright? Should I go tell them you need a minute?”

“No, it’s fine,” Yuuri mumbles and flushes his eyes with cold water, probably ruining his stylist’s work in the act, “the sooner I go there, the sooner this will be over.”

 

 

***

“My first impression of Yuuri?” Viktor repeats to the camera and tilts his head a little, letting his trademark smile occupy his lips. Although he is not competing anymore, his muscles can still produce the smile in a fraction of a second, his protection shield. It has always been a useful way to defend himself, since its meaning remains invisible to the people around him. They can’t spot its falsehood anymore.

“To put it simply, he is gorgeous,” Viktor continues, not even needing to colour his words, “I was love-struck, I haven’t encountered many guys like him before, but the surprise was definitely a pleasant one. He feels a bit shy, I can tell, but I’m sure we will get to know each other better when we can spend some time alone after the reception. Now, if you’ll excuse me…”

Viktor flashes a polite smile at the cameraman and heads to the other side of the hall, he has spotted claret, the sign of safety. Chris is in the middle of chatting with a brown-haired Japanese woman who was among Yuuri’s guests. Viktor has no idea how old she might be, her face looks very youthful but there’s something mature in her appearance, something that tells him that the woman has managed to gain way more life experience than him. He clears his throat politely, giving the woman an apologetic look for interrupting their conversation.

“Hello madam, I’m so sorry, but do you mind if I borrow my best man for a minute?”

“Not at all,” the woman replies and offers him her hand, “and no need to call me madam, my name is Minako, Minako Okukawa. I’m a friend of Yuuri’s family, unfortunately they couldn’t attend the wedding even though they wanted to. Nevertheless, they asked me to congratulate Yuuri’s spouse for them.”

“I’m grateful,” Viktor says and shakes her hand before gripping Chris’s wrist. “Pardon.”

“What is it, Vitya? I was having a really nice talk with that lady, she is also a figure skating fan and admires my programs,” Chris pouts as Viktor drags him away from the crowd, desperate to find a spot without cameras. “Have you lost your skills, Romeo? That husband of yours didn’t seem to act very warmly towards you.”

Viktor checks that nobody is within earshot and leans closer to his friend, keeping his voice as low as possible. “Chris, he is the New Year’s boy.”

Never in his life has Viktor seen Chris’s eyes widen that much.

“Are you serious, _that_ boy is the same sultry Casanova you told me about? Well, that was unexpected, apparently booze can do miracles to some people. Innocent in the streets, freak in the sheets…”

“I don’t know anything about that, I don’t sleep with people who aren’t sober,” Viktor reminds him, “but I’m sure about one thing. Chris, he hates me!”

“I don’t think that’s the case,” Chris says in a comforting voice, “I talked with his best man before the ceremony, Phichit Chulanont, remember? He placed third in the last Grand Prix. Anyway, I understood from his description that your husband is a very nervous type, which probably means that he’s just as shy. I’m sure he feels very embarrassed about having got so wasted and extremely touchy with you and believes you consider him a cheap man-eater or something. That’s probably why he also never called you, out of shame, I mean.”

Viktor ponders the options, it could be possible, Yuuri did look rather ashamed around him. “Okay, that might be true, but what should I do about it? Do you have any suggestions?”

”Of course, I always have something in my sleeve. This might be a little unpleasant to you, but I think it would be best if you wiped the slate clean and pretended the incident never happened. If you don’t talk anything about the party, I’m sure the kid will relax around you sooner or later and you will eventually be able to get him to sleep with you.”

Viktor exhales, he feels suddenly so lost, unaware of which route to follow. He can’t even think of seducing Yuuri at the moment; all he wants is his husband to be comfortable around him, just like at the party. Still, the whole scenario makes his heart ache, the fact that he needs to conceal his feelings about the greatest night of his life feels so unfair, almost unbearable. But Viktor did listen to the speech Chris delivered earlier, marriage shouldn’t be a selfish construction made of one’s wishes, it’s meant to be something that is built of mutual understanding and compromises. Viktor needs to give in to make things work.

“I guess I don’t have any other choice."

 

 

***

”Ah, it’s been ages since I’ve been at a wedding! My feet are killing me!” Sara cries and sinks into her leather armchair. After the loud and fast-paced event their shared office feels like a cosy home, a place where no one can judge anyone’s appearance or behaviour in any way. She kicks off her heels and undoes her bun with one hand, letting her thick locks fall over her shoulders. Despite the incoming weariness, Sara can admit to herself that she hasn’t had such a wonderful night for a long time.

“So, what was it like at your weddings? Seung-gil, do you want to start?”

The man opposite her lets out a quiet, displeased sound. He looks even more tired than her, his black dinner jacket is a little rumbled and his dark hair is messier than usual. Sara immediately feels sorry for him, large celebrations really can be hellish for introverts, she hasn’t forgotten how her ex-girlfriend reacted to events where one had to communicate with different people all the time, never being able to escape from the cycle. Georgi offers Seung-gil a glass of water as comfort, at least some kindness can be seen in their awkward cooperation. Hundreds of working hours spent together have made them a little more natural around each other.

“It was annoying,” Seung-gil begins in an irritated manner after having emptied his glass, “there were way more people than I had anticipated and everyone was overly social with each other. The groom, Jean-Jacques, was constantly showing off to his bride Isabella and god knows why that woman didn’t lose her temper with him. Instead, she was very keen to hear everything about him and they quickly built a world of their own that was highly difficult to access to everyone else. At least Jean-Jacques didn’t talk solely about himself but remembered to praise the beauty and wits of his wife in almost every sentence. They were already waiting eagerly for their honeymoon.”

“So the age difference didn’t bother them?” Sara asks. “Isabella is three years older than Jean-Jacques, after all. I don’t think that’s usually a problem, but Jean-Jacques turns only 21 in July and people usually think that men mature slower than women, which leads heterosexual women to look for older partners.”

“Not in my opinion, she seems to like frat boys like him,” Seung-gil says, his black eyes narrowing at the description. “Of course, they might face some problems later on when the honeymoon phase ends. But never mind them, someone else can carry on.”

“Well, in that case I could continue!” Sara says enthusiastically. “You should have seen Mila and Aleksey, they were just so attracted to each other the moment they laid their eyes on one another! They were really relaxed and comfortable together from the beginning, I think they have a very high possibility to become something that our watchers might describe as a ‘dream couple’!”

Sara doesn’t mention that she spent quite a lot of time with the wedded couple regardless of her position as an observer, especially with the 20-year-old bride. She hadn’t met the couple before the wedding, for Seung-gil had taken care of interviewing them, but Sara found an instant connection with Mrs Babicheva – or Voronina, if she decided to take her husband’s surname afterwards. There were some differences between them, though, Mila was for example far more outspoken than her and faster to forget the commitment to social norms. Still, Sara couldn’t take her eyes off her red curls or her playful appearance, they would always look for her when her bright, loud laughter filled the air. It almost feels like a mistake that they married her off to Aleksey, which is quite a horrible thing to say since the both of them got along so well. Sara wouldn’t have minded to marry Mila herself, though.

“Okay, it seems like the audience is going to have an enjoyable season, after all,” Seung-gil comments, his tone implying that he doesn’t consider himself a part of the group that gains pleasure from the series. “What about you, Georgi? How were Viktor and Yuuri?”

Georgi lets out a high-pitched sound. “I wonder, how should I put it…” the Russian begins, his gaze wandering around the clear walls of their office. Eventually, it returns to the spot on the table in front of him, someone had once again spilled coffee on it and hadn’t bothered to properly take care of the mess. Sara feels her heart stop for a second, when Georgi manages to blurt out that the chemistry between the two men wasn’t “that good”.

“What do you mean by that?” she pressures. “What made you think that?”

“Well, let’s just say that Yuuri wasn’t very into Viktor’s intimacy with him.”

“Yuuri is _shy_ by nature,” Sara reminds him in a high voice. She liked him very much when she interviewed him for the show, his polite and calm nature appealed to her straight away, making her wish nothing but happiness for a man like Yuuri. Out of reasons she can’t yet name, she wants to support him the most during the experiment and is willing to give her all to lead the man to happiness. “Just because the first impression wasn’t that good it doesn’t mean that it was a bad match!”

“No need to lose your temper, I just told you what I observed,” Georgi says, his tone slightly offended. “But objectively speaking,” he continues, stressing the word ‘objectively’ a bit too much to Sara’s liking, “he looked like he’d rather be with anyone but Viktor.”

Nobody says anything after Georgi’s comment, it feels impossible to soften a claim so strong. Sara leans back in her chair, did they really manage to make such a bad match, were they so careless with their choices? It makes her heart ache, it’s like she has betrayed Yuuri’s trust.

“We can do nothing but hope the situation will get better,” Seung-gil says after a while, his voice emotionless as usual, “otherwise we should prepare ourselves for the possibility that Nikiforov will sue us for choosing him such an unsuited husband.”

 

 

***

Yuuri feels like a walking corpse as he follows Viktor through the corridor of the hotel where they are going to spend their first night together. The stress didn’t leave him alone for the rest of the reception, making his memories of it nothing but hazy. After the mandatory photograph session, Viktor and he danced together, the act just as forced and nothing like Yuuri had dreamt of as a teenager. Then he got himself into a whirl of unpleasant conversations, the most stressful of them with Viktor’s former coach Yakov Feltsman who also resembled the head of the Russian mafia. Yuuri wouldn’t have been surprised even if the man had dragged him into a dark alley and bribed him to walk away from the show. Yuri Plisetsky would probably have come along to threaten him, regardless of Phichit’s warning in the bathroom, the boy gave him very bad looks every time their eyes met. He never mentioned this to Viktor, of course. Being with his husband is more terrifying than anything, though the reason behind it is quite the opposite compared to people like Yakov and Yuri. It doesn’t help that the cameraman is still dragging along with them, either, the production team forcing him to gather as much interesting footage as possible. Yuuri would give anything for a time machine right now, without his carelessness he would never have got into this mess.

“Look, here’s our room,” Viktor says, turning to flash him a smile over his shoulder, “I hope it’s in the quiet part of the hotel, so that nothing will disturb us tonight.”

Yuuri almost drops his keycard. He starts to reconsider whether he wants the cameraman to stay longer with them or not. At least his shoulders are wide enough to hide him from his husband’s gaze.

Viktor opens the door and lets Yuuri step first into their room. It feels like Yuuri is instantly met with different shades of white, varying from cream to fresh fallen snow. He recognizes immediately that this is the finest hotel room he has ever been, the space rather large and the furniture resembling those of Rococo style, carefully decorated with golden details. Their luggage is already waiting in the back corner of the room, which lowers his stress level a bit – until he notices the extra decorations the hotel staff has delivered to their room. On the round table in the back of the room waits a bottle of champagne, accompanied with two glasses and a bunch of roses. And of course, then there’s the bed, the absolute centre of the space. The rose petals on the sheets are scattered in the form of a heart and somebody has even folded their towels into two swans, their beaks touching like they were leaning in for a kiss. Yuuri’s body almost stops working, somehow his brain had filtered the fact that he was supposed to share a bed with his husband. He manages to drag himself to one of the fabric armchairs before his legs give in.

“Wow, this is a really nice room, a little small, though,” Viktor says cheerfully, his eyes evaluating the space around them. “But it’s fine, we’re staying here only one night, after all. Oh, they even got champagne for us! Would you like to have some, Yuuri?”

Yuuri knows it will be a disaster if he even touches the bottle, in his distressed condition he would probably drink everything by himself and he doesn’t want to face the consequences of hanging out drunk with his long-time crush. His vocal chords refuse to let out any kind of sound, so he just settles for silent communication and shakes his head.

Viktor’s eyes narrow a little, but the expression disappears so quickly that Yuuri starts to doubt whether he actually saw anything. Instead, he turns to the camera man and says lightly: “I think my husband is very tired after the long day. I’d appreciate it if we could have some privacy from now on.”

Yuuri is indeed tired, way too tired to be even bothered about the fact that he is sharing a hotel room with Viktor Nikiforov and is more than happy to see that the cameraman actually respects their wishes. His eyes are hurting a little, too, he is more than ready to get his contacts off and change into his comfortable pyjamas that Phichit packed for him. Yuuri has no idea what else his best friend has packed for him; the production team contacted the best men earlier and revealed the honeymoon destinations to them, letting them do the packing for the oblivious grooms. At least seeing Barcelona is something to look forward to, Yuuri has never been there before. But first he needs to thank his husband for getting rid of the cameras, he has avoided speaking to him way too much during the wedding and he probably owes him an apology as well. However, the beginning of the word dies on his tongue the moment he meets Viktor’s eyes. Although he is still smiling, the whole expression is anything but warm or sincere.

“Well, husband, I think you and I should have a little chat,” Viktor says in a way that makes Yuuri want to flee from the nearest window. It takes a lot from him to stay in his place when Viktor sits opposite of him and squeak an “okay” to him.

“So, let’s get one thing straight,” Viktor says without missing a beat, “do you not like me, Yuuri?”

The blob in Yuuri’s throat that has prevented him from talking explodes in a second, the shock too grand for it to bear. “What? No, no, that’s not the case! I’ve just been feeling extremely nervous today, yes, that’s it! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you…”

Viktor’s expression remains unchanged. “Nervous, I see. I want you to answer one more question, _truthfully_ , if you please,” he says, stressing his words in a way that almost makes Yuuri tear up. “Why did you apply for the show?”

Colours abandon Yuuri’s face, that’s the one question he didn’t want to hear, there is no way he can answer it truthfully. He doesn’t want to know how Viktor would react to the fact that he sent the application by accident and eventually decided to take part in the show in order to get rid of his desperate crush on the very man sitting beside him.

“That, uh, sort of happened.”

“Sort of happened,” Viktor repeats, his tone impossible to interpret, “well, for your information, it didn’t sort of happen with me. I applied for the show because I sincerely want to find a life-long partner, so if you want to quit now…”

“I don’t want to quit!” Yuuri cries, startled at the sudden rise of his volume and even more shocked at his words. “Please don’t take me wrong, I came here for a reason, too! I want to see how this works out, it’s just five weeks anyway, I can take it.”

Viktor is silent for a while again, but in the end he takes Yuuri’s hand in his own, giving it a mere shake. “Five weeks it is then. Now, husband, how would you like me to behave around you from now on? Would you like me to keep my distance, maybe act more like a friend or a brother to you?”

Yuuri blinks at him, something inside him tells him that Viktor is still feeling hurt by his actions. “Please, I just want you to stay who you are,” he mutters in a tiny voice, desperate to show his husband how sorry he is for his pathetic behaviour. Viktor ignores the attempt and raises to his feet.

“I think we should get to sleep, you must be very tired,” he says in a distant voice, not even looking at Yuuri anymore, “and no need to worry about the things Chris said earlier. I’m not going to sleep naked.”

They don’t exchange any more words that night, which is probably for the best at the moment, for Yuuri is ready to start crying any minute. When Viktor switches the lights off, Yuuri turns his back to him, fingers squeezing the fabric of his pyjamas close to his heart. He has dreamt of sharing the bed with his idol countless times, but never have the dreams been like this, painful. His pillow already feels wet.


	5. In our universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri frowns and lays his eyes on the tie, the light-blue one he bought some years ago when graduating from university. “Is it too much?”
> 
> Viktor nods. “Yes, you look perfect the way you are now. But that tie isn’t very flattering with anything, to be honest. I think we should burn it.”
> 
> “I like this one,” Yuuri says, his tone a little upset, when Viktor snatches the tie from his fingers and gives it a very judgmental look. “It’s one of my best ties.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the not-so-fairy-tale-like wedding is over and it’s time for the honeymoon in Barcelona! Initially, this and the upcoming 6th chapter were supposed to be combined, but I decided to split it into two shorter chapters. Thus the first part of the honeymoon chapters will basically introduce the location, while in the second one we get to see some more places within the city.
> 
> Actually, I’m quite lucky for having visited Barcelona last summer, so I knew something about the place in advance. It was fun to go through my photos and try to decide some nice vacation activities for our newlyweds. Of course, I also ended up bothering my beta/rl best friend [Spigu](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Spigu/pseuds/Spigu) with some really important questions such as “do you think it would be romantic if Viktor took Yuuri to place X?” or “hey, I sent you some pictures of different hotel rooms, do you think that snob [Viktor] would enjoy staying in one of them?” A big shout-out to her for tolerating me with so much patience! <3
> 
> Tbh, I spent way too much time on going through potential hotels for the boys to stay in, because I wanted the hotel to be located in a certain area and needed to have enough pictures of the rooms to be used as a reference. Naturally, it was also important that the rooms pleased my eye, so it took a while to find the right one. In the end, I settled upon [this suite](http://www.hotel-atriumpalacebarcelona.com/en/rooms/suite/) in [this hotel](http://www.hotel-atriumpalacebarcelona.com/en/). At least my beta approved of it, so Viktor has no right to complain! *laughs*
> 
> Excluding the restaurants, all the places mentioned in the honeymoon chapters exist in real life. From my own experience, I can definitely recommend visiting Barcelona sometime if you get a chance. But I have blabbered way too much for now, so please, just read forward and I hope you enjoy this chapter as well! Once again, thank you so much for your support! <3

Viktor should have applied for _America’s Worst Husband_ , if a show like that existed in real life. He is sure his chances for winning the competition might have been high and right now he wouldn’t even try to defend himself if someone called him the biggest scum in the world. He deserves every scolding there is to come. After all, he made his husband cry last night.

The muffled sounds weren’t certainly meant for Viktor’s ears, but he couldn’t have missed them in that situation, not when the man next to him was just a few inches away. Still, Yuuri had been way out of his reach, the wall between them preventing Viktor from wrapping his arms around him and pulling him against his chest. At the moment, it felt like everything Chris had reasoned to him earlier had been way too hopeful, just a mixture of sweet little lies to comfort his sorrow. Yuuri clearly didn’t want to be in this situation, not in the bed with Viktor, not with Viktor in general, either. However, Viktor had no right to act like that towards him.

The cling announces that the elevator has reached the wanted floor and Viktor steps to the corridor, the space empty, fortunately. He puts his coffee on a low table near the elevators and starts to rummage in his black messenger bag. It takes a while before his fingers touch what they were looking for, a simple white package and a small video camera they received from the production team last night. Both Yuuri and him were encouraged to gather some footage by themselves as the cameramen cannot follow them around the clock. Also, they claimed that clips filmed by the married couple itself increase the sense of authenticity in the show. Viktor checks quickly how his hair looks and turns the camera towards himself. At least this is the part he can do alright, to provide fanservice to his audience. It doesn’t take much to get the mask on.

“Good morning everyone! This is my very first day as a married man and I feel so excited!” Viktor says cheerfully and raises his other hand a little to make the packet visible to the camera. “But can you imagine, I forgot to give my husband his wedding gift yesterday, how silly of me! I need to go and wake him up now and apologize for my forgetfulness. I hope he likes it nevertheless.”

Viktor turns off the camera and sneers internally at his own fakeness. However, he cannot switch off the role anymore, not when he’s with Yuuri. He needs to show his husband his best behaviour from now on unless he wants their marriage to stay frosty. Too bad Makkachin is not here with him, a dog might have been a good way to break the ice, most people like animals anyway. His dog is staying the honeymoon with Viktor’s next-door neighbour, a kind-hearted and reliable old lady who is always happy to help him out. Still, Viktor would give anything to be able to wrap his arms around his dog right now.

Quietly he slips back into their hotel room, only to be greeted with a sight that could have caused wars to break out in ancient times. His husband is still somewhere in the kingdom of dreams, slender body moving in the calm rhythm of his breathing, black hair ruffled from sleep. Viktor has no idea how anyone can look that beautiful. Were the situation different, he would love to kiss his prince awake.

Instead, Yuuri gets a gentle shake, something that is enough to wake him up. Without opening his eyes, he lets out a hoarse sound.

“Phichit?”

It’s not exactly a turn-on to be called by someone else’s name, but Viktor lets it go. “Good morning, sleeping beauty, it’s time to wake up.”

Yuuri’s eyes open in a flash and he bounces up, covering his body with the blanket like he wasn’t properly dressed. “Viktor, uh, morning. A-about yesterday…”

“I behaved very badly towards you,” Viktor hurries, “I’m sorry about hurting you. Will you accept my apology?”

Yuuri blinks at him. “Of course, but I wanted to apologize as well.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Viktor assures and lays the packet in Yuuri’s lap. “I have to apologize for this, too, I forgot to give you your wedding gift.”

To his concern, his husband pales.

“Wedding gift?” Yuuri says in a high voice. “I’m so sorry, but I can’t take it. I-I didn’t realize, I didn’t get you anything…”

“It’s fine,” Viktor says calmly, “it’s not obligatory anyway. Will you please accept it? I’d love to see how it looks on you.”

Yuuri replies to him with a shaky nod and starts to unwrap the gift, his eyes a little squinty, probably because of the lack of glasses. Still, his eyesight seems to be good enough for making out the content of the packet, at least judging from the way his eyes widen at the gift. Viktor realizes he has stopped breathing as his husband brushes his fingers carefully along the steel strap of the watch.

“Is this a…”

“Rolex,” Viktor finishes for him and points at the dial, “for some reason I thought that blue would be your colour and it seems I was right.”

“It must have been expensive,” Yuuri says quietly, eyebrows knitted in worry. Viktor ignores the comment and makes a mental note not to talk about prices with his husband ever again. Yuuri will eventually learn not to worry about money with him.

“Do you like it?”

“It’s beautiful,” Yuuri says, “but really, you shouldn’t have…”

“Nonsense, my husband deserves everything in the world,” Viktor says firmly and takes Yuuri’s hand in his own, grinning internally at the blush spreading across his face. “May I?”

With Yuuri’s approval, Viktor adjusts the watch on his wrist. It looks rather comical in contrast to his dark pyjama shirt ( _I solemnly swear that I am up to no good_ written in its front in slightly worn-out golden letters), but otherwise it suits him perfectly. Viktor’s heart skips a beat when his husband rewards him with a tiny smile, the first one he has seen on his lips during their marriage. It’s not much, but he decides to treasure it. It’s a start, after all.

 

 

***

The world has stopped moving as if everyone had been put under a sleeping curse, the scenario straight out of the pages of a generic fairy tale book. Constant snoring echoes in the corners of the plane, creating a certain atmosphere no one is allowed to bother. But like in every fairy tale, there is always one person who is immune to the curse and is blessed to witness the changes in the scenery that no one else will probably ever be able to observe. To Yuuri, though, being awake feels more like a curse than a gift at the moment. No matter how hard he forces his eyes shut, dreams won’t come to him. When they see him, they simply pass by him, find someone who has accidentally woken hours too early and lull them back to sleep. Yuuri has no idea about their whereabouts, the screens reflect only blue, the colour of the sea. Sometimes it’s like America is isolated from the rest of the world.

Yuuri feels kind of like an outsider for not being able to follow the current norms of the plane. Some people recommend reading when it’s hard to fall asleep, but he is not in the mood to search for his book in his backpack, he would finish it way too early anyway. Instead of learning how a certain family would survive the flood that buries their house under it, Yuuri lets his eyes wander along the seats. A couple of grandmothers wrapped in their blankets, their loud chatter never seemed to cease. A child pressed against his mother, tiny fingers squeezing his plush toy, the guardian of his sweet dreams. And then there’s the world class figure skater Viktor Nikiforov resting against the closed window. Initially Yuuri feared that Viktor would be the one unable to fall asleep, being used to traveling in the much more comfortable business class. However, Viktor seems to be one of those people who can sleep basically anywhere. Just a snap and they’re out like a light.

When sleeping like this, Viktor seems nothing like the man on Yuuri’s television screen or the posters he used to hang up on his walls. That Viktor looked perfect every second of his screen time, confidence flowing and smile never fading. This Viktor, though, is so much different compared to the one he thought he knew through and through. The Viktor sleeping next to him seems more insecure, more human. Yuuri’s pulse has decided not to listen to his requests of slowing down, not when the man is here with him. He already knows that he likes this Viktor more than that of the magazine covers.

Yuuri inhales and leans quietly closer to him, fingers hooked a little so that he wouldn’t accidentally disturb his husband’s sleep. Long flights are always stressful experiences, but Viktor looks unaffected by that. The dim lights of the aisle make his silver hair shine, making him resemble the prince of those fairy tale books. His lips look really soft, too, not chapped at all like Yuuri’s own. Face burning, he turns back to the aisle, fingers tightening around the neck of his striped shirt. He mustn’t get too happy or too hopeful, it will only hurt more when the five weeks are over and it’s time to let him go.

 

 

***

The man in the mirror could have looked better in his white dress shirt, at least if he had a way to get rid of the dark circles under his eyes. Yuuri lets out a quiet sound of frustration and lays the hair gel back on the sink; despite having spent most of the day in bed, he is unable to remove the constant mist of exhaustion from his head. Right now, a job as simple as tying his tie feels like a task that should have been included in the _Mission Impossible_ franchise.

They landed in Barcelona around eight in the morning, but Yuuri’s body didn’t forget to remind him that he would have been fast asleep if he had stayed in New York or Detroit. He managed to hang on until their aerobus reached its destination and arrived safely to _Plaça de Catalunya_ , the heart of the city, where they only had to walk about 400 meters to their hotel. (Viktor had insisted that they take a taxi from the airport, but Yuuri didn’t want to waste money on cab rides when a cheaper option was available.) However, the moment they finally got into their hotel room, Yuuri stopped caring about anything but the bed. It was already late afternoon when he managed to sweep the last seeds of sleep off his body. Viktor had left him a note, a messy explanation of going to check the neighbouring area and a promise of returning around the time Yuuri would wake up. Somehow his husband did show up fifteen minutes later with a couple of croissants from their nearest bakery. Yuuri was very close to murmuring “I love you’s” to him in the moment.

According to Viktor, their hotel lies in a perfect spot and from what Yuuri has read from their obligatory guide book so far (Viktor bought it at the airport in New York), the claim seems to be acceptable. For this week their private headquarters is located in a district called _Eixample_ , the same area they share with places like _Sagrada_ _Família_ , although the famous church is not exactly in their neighbourhood. However, as they are located next to the central square of Barcelona, they are blessed with the possibilities of transferring easily to every corner of the city. While their home area is known for its modernist architecture, the old city district _Ciutat Vella_ offers completely different mysteries with its narrow streets, old buildings and historically infamous nightlife activities. Yuuri is already starting to worry that one week won’t be enough for building a picture of the city that is as diverse as it should be. His friends, especially Phichit, were eager to hear everything there is to be told about the place, which doesn’t really help the stress that has twisted itself stubbornly around his body.

”You’re not wearing that tie with that shirt.”

Yuuri startles a little at the sudden sound and turns to glance at Viktor over his shoulder. His husband is leaning against the doorway in black jeans and a purple long-sleeved shirt, clothes well-fit and highlighting his body in the right places. If Viktor was suffering from jet lag, no one could tell.

Yuuri frowns and lays his eyes on the tie, the light-blue one he bought some years ago when graduating from university. “Is it too much?”

Viktor nods. “Yes, you look perfect the way you are now. But that tie isn’t very flattering with anything, to be honest. I think we should burn it.”

“I like this one,” Yuuri says, his tone a little upset, when Viktor snatches the tie from his fingers and gives it a very judgmental look. “It’s one of my best ties.”

“Dear lord, in that case you have lots of ties we need to get rid of,” Viktor says in a singsong and tosses the tie somewhere Yuuri can’t find. “At least we now have something on our shopping list.”

Yuuri doesn’t speak to him for the next five minutes.

Too tired and hungry to head for a grand exploration that night, they decide to settle on _Barri Gòtic_ , the Gothic Quarter, which is part of the old city district. Their personal cameraman, the same one that accompanied them in New York, goes out with them as well (“Our watchers are always interested in first impressions and now is your first night in Barcelona”).Viktor told Yuuri that he passed by some nice-looking restaurants earlier in the afternoon, so Yuuri lets him work as a guide, never questioning his map reading skills or the fact that the streets resemble a labyrinth of sorts, especially when sandwiched between tall buildings that cast their shadows across the stony ground. Still, he remembers reading that the area is infamous for being a major pickpocketing spot among criminals and hopes that Viktor has hidden his wallet in a safe place.

To Yuuri’s relief, Viktor soon turns to him and points at a little restaurant with a satisfied grin. Its doorjamb is guarded by orange lanterns that glow softly in the evening lift, and a man apparently working in the place shouts them his greetings, eager to have them as his customers. Yuuri nods at his husband’s expecting expression, feeling the warmth flush to his cheeks when Viktor reacts to his permission with a wide smile and takes Yuuri’s hand in his own.

“A table for the young couple?” the man at the doorway asks in English and offers Viktor the menus. “What brings you to Barcelona?”

“We’re on our honeymoon,” Viktor replies brightly and flashes a smile at the man while taking the menus in his hand, “and yes, a table would be lovely.”

Yuuri needs to remind himself every now and then that he is not in a fantasy of his 12-year-old self but in real life, with real Viktor Nikiforov. He keeps his eyes glued to the floor as he follows his husband to the back of the restaurant, awfully self-conscious of the exited whispering around him in languages he doesn’t understand. It gets a little better when they sit at their corner table, not directly visible to the other customers of the restaurant. They start their vacation with a cliché and order seafood paella, the conversation dying immediately when the waiter leaves them. The other tables are in the middle of excited chatter and Yuuri wonders whether they might think that he and Viktor are having an argument for being so quiet around each other.

Viktor probably thought that too, for his fingers gently brush the back of Yuuri’s hand, a gesture for wanting to gain his attention. ”Hey, now that we’re married I think you and I should get to know each other better.”

Yuuri knows a lot about Viktor already, but he doesn’t mind hearing his husband share his life story with him. At the same time, this might be a chance to learn new things about him as well, something the dozens of articles Yuuri has read of him haven’t revealed. He gives his husband a little smile.

“I think so too.”

“Wonderful, can I start then? We can switch after that. First: what do you do for a living?”

Before their dinner arrives, Yuuri tells Viktor about his studies in Wayne State University and his current job as a skating instructor, which is something his husband wants to hear everything about. He gives him details about his childhood years in Hasetsu and his not-so-wild student life with Phichit, but remembers to keep quiet about the dozens of posters he had of his husband. In return, Yuuri learns that Viktor likes cooking but hates cleaning so much that he has hired a housekeeper to clean his home every Sunday. (Yuuri decides to fire them if he moves to Viktor’s apartment; cleaning one’s own home shouldn’t be an insuperable task for anyone, not even for the world-class figure skating superstar.) Hearing about Viktor’s dog, Makkachin, is nothing new to him, but Yuuri coos at the pictures of him anyway and makes Viktor seemingly happy with his reactions.

The waiter returns with a huge dish of steaming food and lays it in the middle of the table. Yuuri needs to control himself to not wolf down the contents of his plate, he hasn’t tasted anything this good for ages. Viktor seems to like it as well and continues to keep the conversation up in between of new bites and sips of his wine.

“How did your parents react when you told them you were going to take part in the show?”

“Well, they were a little bewildered at first. I’m not that kind of a person who would apply for a reality show every day,” Yuuri says with a nervous laugh. “But they told me they would support me with all their hearts. How did your parents react to it then?”

“Oh, I don’t know about it,” Viktor says lightly, waving his hand a little in the air, “I never told them. But my former coach Yakov – that old angry-looking man you met at the wedding – wasn’t really pleased at first. He is quite… traditional, if one wants to use a kinder word to describe someone who has been stuck in the world of the Cold War. He is one of those people who regard marriage as a holy covenant and think that shows like _MAFS_ will ruin its value. But he accepted my decision in the end, he had no other choice.”

Yuuri shows his attentiveness with a few nods, but his mind has stopped around a single thought, developed by Viktor’s words. He doesn’t understand why his husband never told his family about the marriage, could it be that he was ashamed of being wed to a complete stranger, after all? No, judging from what he said about Yakov, it doesn’t make sense. Yuuri swallows the questions lying on his tongue, Viktor changed the topic so quickly that it doesn’t feel polite to ask about it anymore. Still, something in the scenario continues to bother him.

“And you know, I was really surprised at how Yura reacted to my announcement!” Viktor continues, making Yuuri snap out of his thoughts. “Yuri Plisetsky, I mean, but you should know him if you have followed the figure skating scenery. Anyway, I thought he would be like Yakov and scold me for being irrational, but he was pretty supportive of it – at least in his scale. Did you get to talk with him at the wedding?”

“Yeah, a little bit,” Yuuri says and decides not to add that the Russian boy yelled at him in the bathroom. Despite his efforts, Yuri’s words have not agreed to stop to haunt him. They still return to his ears in between of sweet smiles and tender looks he receives from Viktor, reminding him that their life together might end even before the agreed five weeks. If he fails at proving to be worth of Viktor’s time, his husband will definitely get rid of him in a heartbeat.

“Yura might be a bit bad-tempered, but he is not a mean person,” Viktor says as if he just read Yuuri’s thoughts, “I hope we get to spent some time together at some point so that you two get to know each other as well.”

Yuuri would rather not, but he keeps his mouth shut.

Viktor asks whether he would like to have dessert and Yuuri doesn’t think twice before agreeing to it. Only after they get their _crema catalanas_ his anxiety starts to suggest that his husband might not like to see him act so gluttonously, but to his relief Viktor is so into emptying his own plate that he gets to eat in peace.

“By the way, husband, we haven’t discussed our vacation plans at all yet,” Viktor says, “is there any place you’d absolutely love to visit while we’re here?”

 “Well, there’s this one architect whose buildings are like straight out of fairy tales…”

Viktor chuckles a little at the description and tilts his head. “Fairy tales, huh? You must mean Antoni Gaudí then, his works truly are magnificent. Should we go to _Parc Güell_ tomorrow then? Of course, _Sagrada Familia_ is a must, too, I wonder when they’re going to finish that church… And then there’re some of his houses here in _Eixample_ , would you like to visit them as well?”

“It would be nice, if you want to see them too,” Yuuri says coyly.

Viktor nods enthusiastically. “Of course, anything my husband desires. I also admire Gaudí’s work, so it’s not a bother.”

“What would you like to do here then, Viktor?” Yuuri asks in return. Fulfilling his desires only would be very impolite; this is a shared holiday, after all, so he wants Viktor to enjoy it as well. His husband’s face lightens up like he was just informed that Christmas would arrive early this year.

“Well, it’s been a while since I’ve had a chance to swim in the sea, so we should spend a day on the beach. Also, my wardrobe is dying to have some new clothes in it, so I must answer to its wishes. And of course,” he says, eyes narrowing a little while the tone stays just as cheerful as before, “we’re not leaving the city until we have got rid of your hideous ties, darling.”

“Can you drop that topic already?” Yuuri asks in an irritated manner. His cheeks won’t share the mild anger, though. They have stuck on the fact that Viktor just casually called him ‘darling’.

 

 

***

It’s already dark when they return to the hotel and tell goodnight to their cameraman who stays in the same hotel just a few floors below them. Yuuri is feeling warm and calm after the dinner, a huge step compared to their first night together as a married couple. It doesn’t even feel awkward to share a room with Viktor anymore, and the lack of so called romantic or sensual decorations make it a lot easier to be around. Besides, he has quickly become fond of the suite they are staying in, luxury can be pretty enjoyable every now and then when served in small portions. The colour scale is rather down-to-earth without any overly flashy details and the decoration relies highly on wood. There’re also two separate rooms in the suite, which is easier if one of them happens to wake up earlier and doesn’t want to bother the other (though Yuuri would probably sleep through anything, to be honest). So far, the bed is Yuuri’s favourite spot in the room and if he could, he would probably smuggle it home with him and say goodbye to his old mattress.

“Would you like me to sleep on the sofa from now on?” Viktor asks and throws the key card to a small wooden table in their bedroom.

“No, it’s fine,” Yuuri assures him, “it would be rude of me to occupy the whole bed by myself anyway. But I should warn you that I tend to steal everyone’s blankets when I’m asleep.”

“The danger’s been taken into account,” Viktor says with amusement in his voice, “how do you know that, by the way? Has some of your former lovers told you that?”

“No, I first heard it from my older sister, we used to sleep in the same bed when I was little. And sometimes when Phichit and I have been visiting our friends we have shared the bed if there hasn’t otherwise been enough room for us all. Apparently I haven’t got rid of the habit.”

“I see,” Viktor replies, his tone suddenly a bit more aloof than before. Yuuri frowns at the change in his husband’s mood but decides to shake it off and bends down to search for his toilet case in his suitcase, when Viktor lets out an unexpected cry from the balcony. Heart beating warningly, Yuuri rushes to the balcony only to find Viktor point excitedly at their outdoor hot tub.

“Yuuri, did you know that we have a jacuzzi here?” Viktor says, ignorant to having almost caused Yuuri a heart attack. “We must try it out!”

“Right now?” Yuuri asks breathlessly, ready to collapse on the sunlounger nearest to him. “Viktor, we’re staying here for a week, we have time to test it out later…”

“But sweet husband of mine, the perfect time to test it out is right _now_ ,” Viktor says and pulls him to his feet, not caring about the exhausted sound Yuuri growls aloud. “Off you go, change into your trunks, I can change into mine in the bathroom. You’ll love this, trust me.”

Yuuri probably beats the world record in changing clothes, he doesn’t want to test whether he would faint or die if Viktor happened to walk in and see him naked. Despite the air not being really cool, he feels a little chilly when stepping back on the balcony, most likely because of the nocturnal wind that plays on the higher grounds. Letting out a content sigh, Yuuri climbs into the jacuzzi and feels his every muscle relax when the bubbly water pulls him into its touch. He leans against the corner of the tub and lets his gaze travel upwards to the darkening sky. The city around him is bathing in the bright sea of lights, the whole scenery so beautiful when observed from the heights. Viktor was right, this is something that had to be experienced right away.

A clink steals Yuuri’s attention and he turns his eyes in its direction, wishing immediately that he would have done otherwise. Viktor is standing in the doorway with a bottle of champagne and two glasses, wearing nothing but his tight, dark-blue swimming trunks. Yuuri has always known that the man possesses a very remarkable body thanks to the years he has spent training on the ice, but never before has he seen him with so few clothes, the sight nothing but bad for his weak heart. Yuuri desperately tries to abandon any memories of those wet dreams he has had of his husband, an erection is the last thing he would want to have right now.

Viktor chuckles a little at his reaction, a teasing smirk dancing across his face.

“Oh, like what you see?”

Yuuri turns his gaze away.

“No comment…”

“It’s not a sin to admit that you like my body, my dear husband,” Viktor says, the light mocking in his voice making Yuuri consider drowning himself in the tub. “I left your towel and bathrobe on the sunlounger. You’ll have a glass of champagne with me now, won’t you?”

“Okay, one glass,” Yuuri says and concentrates his eyes on the railing when Viktor climbs into the tub, opposite to him. They toast in silence, Yuuri unable to decide where to lay his gaze for the rest of the evening.

“Should we go and wake our dear cameraman up and tell him that we could offer him some really nice footage right now?” Viktor asks, seemingly satisfied when Yuuri laughs at the comment.

“Don’t you dare,” Yuuri warns him and takes a sip from his glass, “but I still can’t understand how we got such a nice hotel room anyway. It costs a lot to fly to Barcelona from the States, you know.”

“Oh, I might have helped them out a little,” Viktor says lightly, “I didn’t want my husband to spend our honeymoon in some poor-class cave or something.”

In Viktor’s world, a ‘cave’ probably means one of those clean yet simple hotel rooms where Yuuri has stayed every time when he has had a chance to spend the night in some place other than his or his friends’ homes. He really doesn’t understand rich people.

“About the rings…” Yuuri says after a while, “why are we wearing them in our right hands?”

“Ah, we Russians usually wear it on the ring finger of our right hand,” Viktor says, “I didn’t even realize that you might find it weird. Would you rather wear it on your left hand?”

“No, it’s fine, I was just a little confused,” Yuuri assures him, fearing he might accidentally end up hurting his husband again. “It’s nice to have some connection to one’s culture. I like it.”

“Okay, I’m glad to hear that.”

Yuuri turns his head back to the city lights, somehow sitting in the same bath tub with his husband feels much more intimate than sharing the bed, at least when compared to their wedding night. Still, he wouldn’t mind repeating the experience every night on their stay, right now it feels good to be with Viktor. Shyly, Yuuri glances at his husband, his heart stopping for a moment when their eyes meet.

“What is it?” Yuuri asks, his voice raspy as though he has talked for too long.

Viktor offers him the most tender smile he has ever seen.

“Nothing. Just admiring how beautiful you are.”

Yuuri lets out an incredulous laugh, causing Viktor to frown at his reaction.

“Why would you laugh at it?”

“Isn’t that obvious?” Yuuri huffs, shaking his head a little. Maybe Viktor needs glasses more than he does. “Me, beautiful? Please, Viktor, have _you_ ever looked in the mirror?”

The next breath gets stuck in his throat, caused by a sense of something soft and warm against his cheek. Yuuri blinks dumbly at Viktor’s extended hand, body unable to decide how to react to the situation. The look on his husband’s face doesn’t really help him to calm down his pulse.

“Don’t say that, Yuuri,” Viktor whispers in a low voice, eyes so melancholic that Yuuri’s heart almost stops working. “You’re so much more beautiful than you can imagine.”

Yuuri feels his body tense up when Viktor leans closer to him, eyes half-lidded and lips a little parted. A voice in the back of his mind shouts at him to abort right away, but it gets buried under the loud thumping that echoes inside Yuuri’s head. He doesn’t want to run away, he is feeling too curious. Too curious to feel the touch of those lips on his own once more.

Except he doesn’t. Viktor has stood up, the colour of his cheeks a little brighter than that of the rest of his face. He is not looking at Yuuri anymore.

“I’m kind of tired, you know. Don’t stay in the tub for too long, we’re waking up early in the morning. Sweet dreams.”

Yuuri stares after him, too dumbstruck to say anything back. It takes a while for him to realize in what kind of situation they were just now and he buries his face in his hands, his palms most likely getting blisters from his burning skin.

Yuuri wonders whether anyone has tried to sleep in a jacuzzi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very vague info list of Barcelona:
> 
> Plaça de Catalunya – "Catalonia Square" in English, a large square in the centre of Barcelona and the point that connects the old city and Eixample together. Also the final stop for aerobusses and the point of departure when travelling back to the airport.
> 
> Eixample – A district known for its modernist architecture, also the neighbourhood area to Ciutat Vella. Viktor and Yuuri are staying in this area on their honeymoon.
> 
> Sagrada Familia – The famous Roman Catholic church in Barcelona located in Eixample. Designed by architect Antoni Gaudi, the construction of the church began in 1882 and is still incomplete. If everything goes as planned, the church should be finished in 2026.
> 
> Ciutat Vella – The old city of Barcelona, lies between Eixample and the Mediterranean Sea. 
> 
> Barri Gòtic – Also known as the Gothic Quarter in English; the centre of Ciutat Vella. Barcelona Cathedral, the place in front of which Yuuri and Viktor exchanged rings in episode 10, is located in this area.
> 
> Crema catalana – A Catalan dessert that is similar to Crème brûlée. 
> 
> Parc Güell – A public park system designed by Antoni Gaudi and my absolute favourite place in Barcelona, also the place Yurio and Otabek visited in episode 10.


	6. If I panic, he’s the one for me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ah, I see. We haven’t got a picture of us yet, at least if the photoshoot at the wedding is not counted. Get on your feet, I want to takehave one with you now.”
> 
> Yuuri doesn’t really feel like taking photos right now, but he rises up anyway, whole body tensing when Viktor lays his hand on his face and pulls him tightly against him. From the screen of Viktor’s phone, Yuuri sees how the eyes of his reflection grow wider as his husband presses his lips to his ruffled hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I’m very happy to present you the other part of the honeymoon chapters – judging from the word count I made the right decision when I made two chapters instead of one, haha. Since I talked so much in the beginning of the previous chapter, I feel kind of out of words right now, so maybe I’ll just spare you from useless blabbering this time.  
> Once again, a big thank you to everyone who is following the tale of the newlyweds here! Your lovely comments make me so happy and I return to read them over and over! ♥

If someone were to ask Yuuri to name the three worst things he knew, he wouldn’t have any problems to come up with the list. Anxiety would win the first place on the list without question, while general insecurity would follow close after. The thing to claim the third spot, however, would differ a little from the first two ones, but it would still make a great subject for horror movies. The group that starts their hunt already when the first rays of sun have touched the ground, the group against whom Yuuri has zero chance to survive: morning people.

Ever since he was little, Yuuri has loved the feeling of lying under the covers for long, letting the final remains of dreams disappear without any hurry. But when nasty things such as growing up and planning your whole life around the clock came into picture, he had to give away his tranquil mornings. However, weekends and holidays are still considered chances to sleep in and even though Phichit is more of a morning person than Yuuri, they have managed to come to an agreement that allows Phichit to disturb him in the early morning only if something as major as a fire is threatening their lives. Viktor, though, has no idea of such an agreement.

Yuuri lets out a quiet yawn, feeling more willing to actually lose the fight against his eyelids that are stubbornly trying to shut his vision. The city outside the taxi’s window is waking up slowly as well, the lively atmosphere from the previous night nowhere to be seen. At the moment, he couldn’t care less about Gaudi and his magnificent designs and – as horrible as it sounds – spending the whole day with his idol-turned-husband. Viktor practically dragged him out of the bed a little past 6.30 with not very motivational cheers such as “hurry up, Yuuri, if we leave early, we’ll avoid the worst tourist crowds and have more time to spend together today!” and “no, no, dear, not _that_ T-shirt with those pants!”. Yuuri didn’t speak to him much during breakfast, but that didn’t seem to bother his husband too much as Viktor was very capable of chitchatting by himself. Yuuri almost wanted to run back to bed after having got his stomach full of dishes he can’t even remember anymore, but Viktor’s instincts won against his pathetic attempt and before Yuuri realized it, he was sitting inside a cab with their cameraman. Dan, as the cameraman introduced himself when Viktor bluntly told him that he had forgotten his name, didn’t seem much livelier than Yuuri with the dark circles under his eyes. Yuuri hopes he at least got to wake up to the sound of his alarm.

The cab faces its final challenge on the uphill road before it finally parks beside the curb. Covering his eyes with his hand, Yuuri steps outside to the bright morning light. The air smells a little different up here, a warm mixture of scents he can’t name. He likes it more than that of the centre of Barcelona.

“Darling, I’ll go get us tickets,” Viktor says and points at the direction of the entrance of _Parc Güell_ where some bright-eyed tourists have already gathered. “Don’t get lost, okay?”

“Wow, is he always that cheerful this early?” Dan comments after Viktor has walked far ahead of them. Yuuri notices him check his watch, it’s just a little past eight.

“It seems so,” Yuuri says a little grumpily before covering his mouth in shock. It’s so easy to forget the presence of their cameraman and that everything he says should go through some serious self-censorship. “You didn’t film that, did you?”

“Nope,” Dan snickers, “the big bosses wouldn’t have liked if they had found out that I was complaining during working hours.”

Gravel rasps under Yuuri’s sneakers as he follows Viktor down to the park. His heart skips a beat when they land on a grand sandy platform, the area circled with a railing full of colourful mosaic. Behind it, he can see the tops of two little houses, brown like gingerbread with roofs covered with powdered sugar. The witch of _Hansel and Gretel_ might have felt cosy in a home like that.

“Excuse me, but are you possibly Viktor Nikiforov?”

Out of reflex, Yuuri turns his eyes to the direction of the sound. Two tanned women, likely in their early twenties, have gathered around Viktor, eyes glimmering with hope. When Viktor smiles at them and answers to their question, they let out an excited cry. Yuuri feels something cold squeeze his heart.

“I knew it, I could have recognized you anywhere!” the red-haired woman says. “We’re both big fans, could we have a selfie with you, please?”

“Sure, no problem at all,” Viktor says, whole performance so smooth like he was heading for a competition and wasn’t, in fact, on a honeymoon with his husband. Yuuri moves further away from them, at moments like this he remembers that Viktor and he do live in completely different worlds. Yuuri’s world is all average, full of details that almost everyone can connect to: working in an ordinary place, spending time with one’s friends and worrying about taxes. Viktor’s world, however, is filled with glamour and admiration that won’t ever wear out; it’s the world for protagonists, while Yuuri feels more like a supporting character in his own. Frost is spreading slowly across his chest despite the warm weather, he feels horrible for even thinking such mean things about those women in their crop tops and mini-shorts, more horrible for getting irritated at Viktor’s behaviour around them. Viktor is a star, after all, and it’s his job to entertain his fans. If the situation were different, Yuuri would be one of those fans lining in front of him in hopes of an autograph. Still, the reminder doesn’t melt the frost away.

“Feeling jealous?”

Yuuri turns his eyes to Dan, now visibly filming. The question only makes him feel worse.

“No comment,” Yuuri mutters and turns his back at him, walking to the centre of the railing and sitting on the bench that snakes along the structure. He takes a quick glance at the houses behind him and pulls his phone from his pocket, opening Whatsapp and the conversation he had with Phichit late last night when he was sure that Viktor had already fallen asleep. Yuuri doesn’t want to bother his best friend right now, it would cost him extra to use his phone’s internet abroad and Phichit is probably sleeping right now and wouldn’t see his messages before morning. Instead, he starts to reread the ones they sent each other yesterday when Yuuri was the one who should have been sleeping.

 _> >_ _Did you get there safely? How’s Barcelona?_

_< < Very beautiful, haven’t seen much yet but I like it here. I’ll send some photos to our group chat tomorrow._

_> >_ _Good to hear, I miss you so much already, Yuuri!_ _（ｉ_ _Д_ _ｉ）_ _  
>> But never mind me, how’s it going with Viktor? Is he being nice to you? If not, just give me his number and I’ll call him!_

_< < No need, Viktor’s been fine._

_> > Just fine?_

_< < Phichit…  
<< I’m not sure but I think he tried to kiss me?_

_> >WHAT?!_   
_ >> OH MY GOD, YUURI! AFSGHFRHFEJRFJJ!!!!1_   
_ >> Hang on, what do you mean you’re not sure?_   
_ >> How can you not be sure if the Viktor Nikiforov was trying to kiss you?_   
_ >> And what do you mean by tried anyway? So he didn’t??? Why???_

_< < Slow down a little, I can’t tell you anything if you type so fast!_

_> > Sorry, sorry! But tell me everything. In DETAIL. _

_< < Ok, wait a sec…  
<< Well, we had come back from the restaurant and Viktor wanted to try out our jacuzzi._

_> > WERE YOU NAKED?!_

_< < Phichit, I’m not going to tell you anything if you interrupt me every time! _

_> > Okay, sorry! I’ll be patient and wait till you’ve finished! Carry on! _ _╰_ _(_ _✧∇✧╰_ _)_

 _< < So, we went to the jacuzzi in our TRUNKS and it was really fun._  
_< < Viktor was so nice and so handsome and he called me beautiful?!_  
 _ << And then he touched my cheek and leaned closer to me…_  
 _ << And just stood up and said good night and went back inside._  
 _ << End of story._

 _> > Okay?? What the heck, Viktor?_  
_> > But I’m sure he was trying to kiss you, at least it sounded like that._  
 _ >> How could you even interpret otherwise, Yuuri??_

_< < I don’t know…  
<< Maybe he was just trying to be nice?_

_> > Yuuri, people don’t kiss other people just to be nice.  
>> Your husband’s gotta be crushing on you real hard! (●_ _♡∀♡_ _)_

 _I don’t know about that,_ Yuuri thinks and stuffs his cell phone back into his pocket with a sigh. _There’re lots of people out there who, unlike me, are actually beautiful. Viktor probably realized his mistake and backed off so that anything irreparable couldn’t happen._

Someone clears his throat next to him, in a way that is supposed to gain his attention. Yuuri rises his gaze and meets the eyes of a brown-haired man, who smiles at him in response.

“First time in Barcelona?” the man asks in a friendly manner. Judging from the accent, he is probably British, though Yuuri has no idea which part of the island he could be from. He sighs internally, he thought _Americans_ were the ones who loved small-talk with strangers. He can’t even spend his vacation in peace, now can he?

“Yeah. For you?” Yuuri says politely, though he secretly wishes that the shortness of his answer might drive the man away. To his disappointment, it doesn’t just yet.

“Nah, I’ve been here twice already. I love the scenery so much I can’t help but come back. Gaudi’s works are amazing, don’t you think? Have you visited some other places he has designed yet?”

“No, this is the first one. But I hope I’ll get a chance.”

The man’s face lights up and he lays his hand on Yuuri’s shoulder in an overly intimate manner. “Then how about I’ll act as your guide today? I’m familiar with the best spots in Barcelona, so I’d definitely offer a five-star experience. My name’s Aaron, by the way, what’s yours?”

Yuuri doesn’t even have time to process the question, when someone else does the replying for him, tone rather chilly. “I think my husband doesn’t need a guide around the city, thank you very much.”

Yuuri startles a little at the sudden sound and turns his attention towards Viktor, he has no idea how long his husband has been standing there in front of them. The look on his face is quite different compared to the one when surrounded by his fans, all the warmth has disappeared from his smile. Aaron pulls his hand away and rises awkwardly to his feet.

“Sorry about that, didn’t notice the ring. Have a good day you two,” he says quickly before hurrying into the crowd. Viktor’s eyes narrow a little as they follow after him, but the look is gone when he turns back to Yuuri.

“Really now, husband, you shouldn’t go too far away by yourself. Some arrogant frat boys can try to snatch you away.”

“It took you a while with your fans,” Yuuri mutters back, “did you get some decent photos at least?”

Viktor blinks at his reaction, but to Yuuri’s surprise, the smile returns instantly, even a bit wider.

“Ah, I see. We haven’t got a picture of us yet, at least if the photoshoot at the wedding is not counted. Get on your feet, I want to take one with you now.”

Yuuri doesn’t really feel like taking photos right now, but he rises up anyway, whole body tensing when Viktor lays his hand on his face and pulls him tightly against him. From the screen of Viktor’s phone, Yuuri sees how the eyes of his reflection grow wider as his husband presses his lips to his ruffled hair.

“Wow, this is a very nice photo,” Viktor says happily, his hand still around Yuuri’s waist, though he doesn’t mind it, since he might pass out without any support. In his peripheral vision, Yuuri can see Dan grin quite mischievously with his camera.

“Yeah, but you can’t upload it anywhere, remember?” Yuuri just reminds him weakly. Before the filming started, they signed a deal where they promised not to spread any information about the stage of their relationship before the season had aired on TV. Naturally, close friends and family weren’t involved in the contract, but they were also expected to keep quiet about the show.

“Oh, you’re right!” Viktor says loudly and pats him on the side of his hips, making Yuuri let out a quiet yelp. “Good thing that my husband is so smart. It’s a shame that I can’t share it on Instagram, you look so nice in it, Yuuri! But you know, I haven’t changed my wallpaper for a while and the contract didn’t forbid that. This photo is going to be my treasure.”

 

 

***

“Yuuri, I have a surprise for you.”

Yuuri lifts his gaze from the booklet about _Parc Güell_ and gives Viktor a very painful look. They are sitting on metallic chairs under a sunshade that doesn’t cover them well enough, two overly pricy water bottles on the table in front of them. They just got out of the bigger of the gingerbread-like buildings, which was a perfect example of the idiom “you can't judge a book by its cover”. Even though only a certain number of visitors were allowed inside at a time, the visit turned out to be a somewhat hellish experience. With its narrow stairways and the people packed together with their cameras, the house was so hot inside that the witch of _Hansel and Gretel_ wouldn’t even have needed an oven to burn children alive. Yuuri doesn’t regret going in, though. He managed to get some nice pictures for the group chat and he could even send them to Yuuko and his own family in Japan.

“Viktor, you may not have noticed this yet, but I’m not very fond of surprises,” Yuuri says drily and takes a sip of his water, sneering at the lukewarm taste.

Viktor gives him a look that resembles that of a puppy who has just been scolded by its owner.

“Please, my sweet, beautiful husband, I know you’ll like it,” he whines and takes Yuuri’s hand in his own, brushing the wedding ring on his finger. The people in the tables next to them have all stopped talking and turned their attention towards them, the presence of the cameraman making them even more suspicious. Yuuri lets out a quiet groan and squeezes Viktor’s hand with his own, if he doesn’t give in now, the whole audience will hate him for making Viktor Nikiforov miserable.

“Fine, but please tell me you haven’t bought me anything again.”

“No, no, this is a place I want to take you to!” Viktor says happily and bends down on the chair next to him, searching for something in his bag. “However, we need to make some preparations first.”

For some reason, Viktor pulls Yuuri’s light blue tie into sight and flashes a very mischievous grin at him.

“You can’t just go burn that in public,” Yuuri snaps, it would have felt better if Viktor had just got rid of the tie on his own instead of forcing Yuuri to take part in the action.

“Oh no, husband dear, this is going to be your blindfold.”

Yuuri backs off with his chair as far as he can.

“Wait, I didn’t mean anything like that!” Viktor hurries when the mothers around them glare at him and cover the eyes of their children. “I just want it to be a surprise! It’s safe and very innocent, trust me!”

“It would probably be a surprise anyway, since I know nothing about Barcelona in advance,” Yuuri says but accepts the tie regardless of that. “But you can tie it only after we have got back to the taxi, I’m not going to walk through the park system completely blind.”

At least Viktor agrees on that and when he has whispered the name of their next destination to their driver, he ties the tie-turned-blindfold around Yuuri’s head and guides him back inside the cab. They travel in silence, excitement growing exponentially as minutes pass. Yuuri has no idea where they are going, but judging from the weary cries of the engine, they are travelling higher up along roads that are not always very gentle. Yuuri prays that Viktor’s surprise doesn’t involve bungee jumping, he is not always very comfortable with heights, especially with places without any sturdy walls around them. Leo told him once about his bungee jumping experience and after the story Yuuri decided he’d rather sell his organs in black market than try the act himself. That was also one of the rare events when Phichit agreed with him in favour of a less wild way to test their courage.

(They watched a document about serial killers that night.)

“Yuuri, we’re here.”

The car has stopped and Viktor gets first outside of the cab to help Yuuri out. Viktor guides him with firm touch, warning him about possible obstacles in advance, so he doesn’t stumble despite the lack of sight. This place is rather noisy, the air filled with joyful cries, most of them so bright that they should belong to children. At least Viktor was telling the truth when he implied the surprise had nothing to do with R-rated content.

Viktor slips the tie off and Yuuri gasps when the shapeless darkness turns into a sight full of bright, happy colours. They have arrived in an amusement park that lies on the top of a mountain, the place so high that the whole of Barcelona can be seen below them, the city borders reaching to the shiny Mediterranean Sea. Yuuri lets his eyes wander on the Ferris wheel and the rollercoaster all the way to the merry-go-round and a ride that resembles a plane. The amusement park feels so out of place here, it wouldn’t be his first guess if someone asked if he knew what kind of an attraction guided the city from the heights. That’s what makes it so magnificent.

“Well, do you like it?” Viktor asks, grinning at his wide-eyed expression. Yuuri rewards him with a smile.

“Yeah, it’s wonderful. What is this place anyway?”

“This place is called _Parc d'atraccions del Tibidabo_ ,” Viktor tells him, stumbling a little when pronouncing the Catalan name, but Yuuri gives him an A for effort. “It’s Europe’s third oldest amusement park and also located on the highest peak of Barcelona, the mountain of Tibidabo. I think this is definitely a sight we should visit on our stay here, at least it’s not such a cliché compared to _Sagrada Familia_ and places like that.”

“True that and it’s even less of a cliché since we’re two adults visiting it,” Yuuri says, grinning, and takes another look around the area. “Wait a minute, is that a church?”

Viktor turns at the direction he is pointing at. “Oh, you’re right! Kind of weird that they have built a church here, it basically lies on the same area as the park, though it has been built a bit higher up, naturally. It might have been a bit embarrassing if Jesus lost to the heights of these rides,” he comments with laughter in his voice and points at the statue of Jesus on the highest top of the church.

“I wonder if they still use the church,” Yuuri says, “going there to Sunday mass and taking the kids to the rides afterwards.”

“That sounds like a plan,” Viktor giggles, “if I had children and were even a little religious, I would probably do it. But to be honest, I’d prefer just coming to the amusement park. Would you like to try some rides?”

“I’ll pass, I’m not good with them anymore. I tend to feel pretty uncomfortable in them, especially with those that go high up or where you need to be upside down.”

“Me too,” Viktor confesses with a nostalgic smile, “it’s horrible to be a grown-up sometimes. When I was a teenager, I once forced Yakov to come with me to _Divo Ostrov_ – it’s an amusement park in St Petersburg and I nearly killed him when I dragged him to a ride that went really fast and upside down at some point. Those were good times.”

For the first time after meeting Viktor’s former coach, Yuuri feels quite sorry for the old man.

“Shall we walk around in the park?” he asks and offers Viktor his hand. His husband beams at the gesture and agrees on the suggestion.

They climb to the church and admire the beautiful paintings on the walls of the crypt, the pictures telling stories in which neither of them believe but still find interesting to observe, and take pictures of the rose windows of the temple. When returning back to the main area of the amusement park, they spend time on guessing which of the children on the merry-go-round would throw up first (a horrible game in which Viktor wins) and look up to the people who seem to be unaffected by the heights of the Ferris wheel. At some point, Yuuri notices a stall of Ben & Jerry’s in front of the plane-like ride. His stomach gives his desires away immediately with a loud growl, painting his face red in the process.

“Want to have ice-cream?” Viktor asks, tone amused and hand gently squeezing Yuuri’s own. “What flavour can I get you?”

“Surprise me.”

“Oh, so now you like surprises, dearest husband?” Viktor teases and hugs him with one arm. “Okay, hang on, I’ll get us something.”

Luckily for Yuuri’s stomach, there’re only a few people on the line and Viktor returns soon with two cups of ice-cream, handing Yuuri the one with a soft, orange shade. “Here you go! I got you _Triple Caramel Chunk_ and _Mint Chocolate Chunk_ for me,” Viktor says, “I hope I made a good choice.

“Yhuw dif, if goodh,” Yuuri mumbles during his first spoonful, soul flown so high to food heaven that he can’t even feel embarrassed about his horrible eating habits. Viktor just laughs at the response. 

“Want to taste mine?” he asks and offers Yuuri some ice-cream with his own spoon. Yuuri nods eagerly and leans closer, his pulse quickening when he realizes that they are sharing an indirect kiss right now. He hopes that Viktor thinks his cheeks are flushed because of the sun.

“Very good. Would you like to…” Yuuri begins and offers his cup to his husband when he notices that a line of melted ice-cream has started to run down his wrist. “Ah, Viktor, can you get me a tissue…”

Before Yuuri can realize what is happening, Viktor has gripped his wrist and bent down a little, licking his arm clean of the ice-cream. It takes Yuuri a lot to not drop his cup, especially when his husband meets his eyes with a gaze that should belong to the bedroom and licks his lips.

“ _Vkusno_.”

Yuuri doesn’t know that word but if that was English, he wouldn’t even be surprised, since his brain has stopped working. “W-what?”

“It’s Russian and means delicious,” Viktor says smoothly, his fingers still around Yuuri’s wrist. “It was _vkusno_ –  both the ice-cream and you. Thank you, Yuuri.”

Maybe a round in some ride might calm Yuuri down, after all.

 

 

***

“Viktor, have you noticed what your nape looks like?”

Viktor drops his shopping bags instantly on the hallway of their suite and hurries to the bathroom, his mind going through all the Russian swear words he knows in repeat. He lets out one of them when he gets in front of the mirror and sees the back of his neck, the spot twice as red as the rest of his skin. He managed to do it again, sometimes he really hates his memory. Because of it, he forgot the sunscreen in their hotel room and let sun shine straight on the spot without any protection.

Yuuri appears in the doorway, eyebrows knitted in worry. “Did it get burnt?”

“Yeah,” Viktor says drily, shooting a desperate look at his poor nape, “and now I’ve got skin cancer and will be dead before tomorrow morning. Goodbye, my sweet husband, it was nice knowing you!”

“You’re not getting skin cancer,” Yuuri says with an exhale, the initial worry turned into mild irritation. It seems that begging for comfort doesn’t work well with him, which is a bummer, especially now that Viktor would have been willing to pay for a hug. Still, his husband doesn’t leave him suffer alone but pushes himself next to him, hands digging into his toilet bag. “But it might start to feel very uncomfortable if we don’t do anything to it. Come, I’ll put some after sun lotion on it.”

Viktor follows him obediently and takes off his shirt before lying down on the bed, hands wrapped around his pillow. Quiet rustling echoes in his ears, Yuuri is probably moving their shopping bags into safer places where they won’t be in danger of getting stomped over. He is glad he is married to such a clever man, for it would have been a disaster if his purchases had been destroyed. After visiting _Casa Milà_ and _Casa Batlló_ earlier today, Viktor had kept his promise and took Yuuri shopping, though his husband didn’t get much more than a few cheap shirts and souvenirs for his friends. Viktor, on the other hand, had the best time of his life. He bought some really nice white jeans and sneakers for himself from Burberry and a stunning black jacket for Yuuri, although he tried to refuse the gift at first. Of course he had to get some souvenirs as well; Chris and Yakov will both be sent some fine Catalan wine, while Makkachin will get some new toys when they return home. In Yuri’s case he settled for some generic tourist junk (Yuri’s taste in clothing is not particularly praiseworthy and Viktor is not going to spend money on clothes the teen is not going to wear). He needs to buy some wine for himself and Yuuri later tomorrow, the food in Barcelona is so delicious he would willingly pack his suitcase full of different delicacies and smuggle them back to the States. Viktor knows he is going to miss the city. Maybe he should start to persuade Yuuri into buying a villa outside the city centre where they could return to spend every summer from now on.

The bed creaks a little under his body, Yuuri has climbed to sit next to him. The following click tells Viktor he has just opened the after sun bottle.

“I’m going to apply it now, it might be a bit cold at first,” Yuuri says softly and when Viktor has indicated his approval, he lays his fingers carefully against the sensitive skin of his nape. The burning itch starts to ease slowly, the pain cooling down under the comfortable touch of his husband. Viktor hums contently and buries his head deeper into the mattress, some of the warmth has transferred to his cheeks.

“Is it feeling a bit better?” Yuuri asks. Never in his dreams has Viktor heard a more angelic voice.

“Much better,” he murmurs against the sheets, eyes closed. If he had the power to decide, Yuuri would keep touching him forever.

“Do you need something else? Some water maybe? It’s been a while since you drank any and it’s important to stay hydrated now that the weather is so hot.”

”You can kiss it better.”

The movement stops on the next heartbeat and Viktor’s eyes fly open, shocked at the slip his stupid mouth just made. He has no courage to turn to face Yuuri’s expression, but it’s not difficult for his mind to build an accurate picture of it. The jolt is evident in his husband’s voice when he finally manages to ask him to repeat his words, the panicky tone giving Viktor’s viscera a tight squeeze. He has crossed the borders again, maybe Yuuri does see him more as a friend, after all.

Desperate to cover the disappointment in his voice, Viktor asks for water this time.

 

 

***

Although vacations usually consist of experiencing as many different things as possible, at least one day should be reserved purely for relaxation. Yuuri lets out a satisfied sigh, deciding to spend the last day of their honeymoon on the beach is honestly the best decision they made during their stay. At this point there are no obligatory sights left, the most important ones have already been seen and the memories of them glow brightly in the back of their minds. The shopping list has also been struck through: his friends in the States will be getting their presents while his family and Minako have been sent cards with pictures of the most famous tourist attractions in the city. At moments like this, it feels like no bad things exist in the world.

Yuuri adjusts himself better on his sunlounger and moves his gaze to the man next to him, blessing his dark sunglasses that keep his embarrassing spying hidden from others, especially from the target himself. The umbrella above them has cast its shadows on Viktor’s skin, its tone just as fair as when they arrived. His husband complained about not getting tanned one bit, but Yuuri doesn’t find him any less attractive. Nor would other men and women alike, either, to be honest: Viktor looks like a model in his swimming trunks and expensive sunglasses (Yuuri wasn’t even surprised when he heard they were Gucci). But luckily for him, people have arrived on the beach to enjoy the sun, not to haunt for sights of celebrities. The umbrella also covers them a little, helping Yuuri to maintain the fantasy that he is the only one in the world who gets to admire the beauty of his husband.

Viktor turns his head a little, a smug grin taking over the relaxed look on his face. “Are you watching me, my sweet husband?”

Yuuri bounces to a sitting position in a fraction of a second, shaking his head frantically and blabbering excuses that don’t even sound believable to his own ears. Viktor chuckles at his reaction, seemingly happy with himself, and stretches his body a little, definitely on purpose.

“I had the feeling that someone really was watching me and it seems I was right. I don’t mind, though, especially since the guilty one was my cute husband,” he says in a way that makes Yuuri want to bury himself in the sand. “You look like you could use some cooling, by the way. Want to go swimming?”

“Can we really go at the same time?” Yuuri questions and gives a worried look at their bags that lie on the sand between their sunloungers. “Someone might steal our stuff.”

“No need to worry about that, we can ask Dan to look after them,” Viktor says and calls out to their cameraman who is lying on his towel a few meters away from them, body covered under his own umbrella. “Dan, would you like to lie on a sunlounger for a while?”

“Sure, you guys going to swim?” the cameraman replies and walks to them, a grimace flashing up on his face every time his feet touch the ground. “Be careful, the sand is really hot. Have fun for me, too!”

The warning wasn’t exaggerated, for every step feels like a pace closer to the centre of hell; Yuuri can’t believe how the same sand felt so cool under his feet earlier when the sun wasn’t shining from such heights. He feels utterly horrified when they pass by people who are lying in the sun without any cover except the sunscreen (he hopes they have at least that on), but it’s all forgotten when he gets his feet into the warm water. If the beach is one of the circles of hell, heaven starts from the coastline.

Despite his vision being a little blurry because of the lack of glasses, Yuuri can feel everything around him well enough: the salty scent of the sea, its lovely warmth against his bare stomach, the joy of people who are enjoying it just like him. He dives under the surface into the bright turquoise world, brave enough to keep his eyes open to admire everything around him, even if it lasts only a moment before he needs to get up for oxygen. It’s not difficult to understand why people like tales of mermaids so much.

“Did it feel good?” Viktor asks next to him. He is still standing, feet firmly against the sand, face clear of any drops of water.

“Yes, it was lovely! Viktor, you need to try, too!”

“I’ll pass, thank you very much,” his husband replies. “I’m not sure what seawater might do to my hair and since it’s thinning already…”

Yuuri splashes some water on him in response. He has been listening to Viktor whine about his looks, especially about his hair, for days, which can become a little frustrating when the complainer is basically the male counterpart of Aphrodite. Like him, sometimes Viktor needs to let it loose, too.

For a moment, Yuuri fears that his action was a bad choice, for his husband’s face darkens a little, body shivering in disbelief. However, when their eyes meet, he can spot the laughter hidden under the initial emotions, ready to burst free.

“You cheeky little… You’re going to pay for that!” Viktor yells and grabs him from the waist, tossing Yuuri into the next wave like he didn’t weigh anything in his arms. Yuuri doesn’t let him celebrate his victory for long but dives to him and grips his ankle, grinning when he finally sees his husband disappear below the surface, the look on his face promising a sweet revenge. Never in his teenage dreams had he wished that he could feel this comfortable with anyone.

 

 

***

The trip back to the hotel was a mess. Pacing varying from running to tiptoeing, movements jumpy when one tried to take a hold of another, laughter echoing in the steps. Yuuri feels out of breath when they finally get into their hotel room, ready to have another shower and change his clothes into something that smell a little less of the sea. Viktor, however, doesn’t seem to approve of his idea. Yuuri lets out a high-pitched sound when the man wraps his arms around him and runs his fingers experimentally along his sides.

“Oh, so you’re ticklish?” Viktor breathes into his ear. “Good to know.”

“Stop it,” Yuuri giggles, “that’s cheating.”

“Don’t you try to sweet-talk me now, you should have considered the consequences when you started to splash water on me.”

“You deserved that, you know,” Yuuri says mischievously, “besides, that was the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard in my life. I’m sure that if we Google it, it turns out that seawater isn’t as harmful for your hair as you claim it to be.”

“Did you just call _me_ lame?” Viktor gasps, pretending to be hurt. “Well then, I think _you’re_ the one who deserves to be punished now!”

Before Yuuri can prepare himself for the attack, Viktor has tackled him on the bed and started to tickle him again, showing no mercy to his breathless laughter. Yuuri tries to squirm away from him without much success, Viktor keeps him firmly in place, still gently enough to prevent him from getting hurt. Closing his eyes and tossing his head back, a light plea mixed within the giggles leaves his lips, though he is not sure how much he really wants his husband to let go. However, the movement does stop on the same heartbeat, so unexpected that Yuuri’s eyes fly open in disbelief, only to widen when he figures out the situation they are in right now.

Viktor is sitting between his legs, cheeks flushed and pupils large, the touch against his body so light like he had just made the biggest mistake of his life. Yuuri doesn’t even need to see his own face to know that crimson has coloured it with shades that are three times brighter than Viktor’s. His heartbeat is throbbing loudly in his ears, able to bury all the sounds of the world under it. At some point he realizes he has stopped breathing.

It’s like someone has stopped the time from running, paused a movie on a certain scene without any desire to continue watching the story. Viktor seems so helpless above him, unable to decide what to do with his hands and when to pull off. He is waiting, silently pleading for a sign from Yuuri, a sign that would help him to choose the right answer. Yuuri swallows at the sight, he has never been good at making decisions, there are always so many overwhelming variables that could lead the situation to a disaster. However, one can never achieve the preferred result if nothing is done to gain it. Silently, he grips the neck of Viktor’s shirt and tugs him down until their lips touch.

A new, unfamiliar wave sweeps across his body, spreading warmth all the way to his toes when Yuuri wraps his arms around Viktor’s neck, eyes closed in pleasure. The kiss is a little clumsy, one of those that shy couples share on their first try, both still a little unsure about the feelings of the other. Still, it’s undeniably the best one Yuuri has ever had in his life so far. It takes away all the fear that is hidden inside his heart and proves that it’s possible to crush the walls that are meant to keep him safe from getting hurt.

Viktor pulls away from him and tugs Yuuri up with him, arms wrapped tightly around his torso and face pressed against his shoulder. His voice sounds a little muffled when he speaks as though he was holding back tears.

”So you like me, right? You really do like me?”

Yuuri caresses his damp hair with his fingers, nestling himself better against Viktor. “Of course I like you, how could anyone not like you?” he whispers softly, planting tiny kisses on those silver locks. “I told you I was just really, really nervous on our wedding day. I’m sorry.”

Viktor shakes his head. “It’s fine, I understand. But still I started to think that maybe you said that because you were trying to be nice…”

Yuuri withdraws a little, just so much that he can look his husband in the eyes and cup his face. It feels so unreal to see such a worried, childlike expression on him.

“What is this, could the famous Viktor Nikiforov be acting nervous right now?” he asks, the tone predicting the beginning of a gentle laughter.

Viktor pouts a little at him, cheeks still pink, and grabs Yuuri’s right hand in his own, guiding it to his own chest. Yuuri’s heart skips a beat when he feels the fast throbbing under his palm.

“I’m always nervous around you, Yuuri. Ever since we first met.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very vague info list of Barcelona part 2:
> 
> Antoni Gaudi – A famous Catalan architect and practitioner of Catalan Modernism who was born in 1852 and died in 1926. Many of his works are part of World Heritage Site.
> 
> Parc d'atraccions del Tibidabo – An amusement park that lies on mount Tibidabo, it was opened in 1905 and is still functioning. It’s the oldest amusement park in Spain and the third oldest amusement park in Europe.
> 
> Tibidabo – The highest mountain of the mountain range Serra de Collserol, 512 metres/1,680 feet tall. 
> 
> Temple Expiatori del Sagrat Cor – A Roman Catholic church that is located on mount Tibidabo. Its construction began in 1902 and was finished in 1961.
> 
> Casa Milà – Also known as La Pedrera, a modernist building in the district of Eixample, designed by Antoni Gaudi and built between 1906 and 1910. Nowadays serves as a museum.
> 
> Casa Batlló – A modernist building in the district of Eixample, it’s a remodel of a previously built house and was redesigned by Antoni Gaudi. Its renovation was made between 1904 and 1906. Nowadays serves as a museum.


	7. My missing puzzle piece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor hopes he finishes unpacking really fast and heads to the kitchen to prepare some snacks for his diligent sweetheart. Never in his wildest dreams had he thought that married life would be so wonderful.
> 
> Until it’s not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, the lovebirds have returned from their honeymoon and now it’s time for some domestic stuff! As the honeymoon is counted as the first week of the experiment (or at least I think it is, otherwise I will cry because I have everything planned out – or whatever, I make my own rules!), there are now four weeks left for filming. If everything goes as planned, from now on every week will last for one chapter, while the final week will be divided into two chapters. After that, there will also be a shorter (?) epilogue that will tell you how the married couples are doing after the experiment has ended. So that means that we’re practically halfway through, what the heck?!
> 
> Personally, I prefer writing from Yuuri’s point of view as he kinda fits in the picture of my ideal protagonist: someone who is kind and little insecure about themselves but also brave enough to eventually step out of their comfort zone. However, for this chapter I thought of trying something different, so this is entirely written from Viktor’s pov! Ugh, this feels like three times sappier than usually! *laughs*
> 
> Then, some important things to announce! I’m starting at my summer job on June 26th and will be working for the following four weeks. Basically, this means that I’m going to update much slower during that time, as I have less free time and need to spend more of it on recovering from the tiring working environment. I’ll try to update during that time as well, but I can’t promise you anything since I have no idea how busy I’m going to be. But please be patient, I’m not going to abandon this story since it means the world to me and I want to finish it and do my share to make my fellow fans of YOI a bit happier. Tbh, if I could, I’d rather just stay in my apartment writing, but we poor uni students need some money to get through the summer. :’)
> 
> Once again, thank you for being so supportive and lovely to me: I appreciate every single one of you! I hope you enjoy reading!

In the silence that feels almost unbearable to endure, one starts to pay attention to the most trivial sounds around oneself. The steady ticking of the clock, the quiet rustle of the clothes of the people near, arising to one’s consciousness when the others change their positions or move their muscles just a bit. Viktor glances quietly to his left, his husband is not meeting his gaze, his head is turned towards the nearest window, thoughts flying somewhere on the tops of the tall trees. It’s a protest, Yuuri’s way of showing his anger by building an invisible wall between them. Viktor feels irritation grow larger inside his chest, he had no idea that his husband would be so stubborn about certain things. Still, he doesn’t want to give in in this matter, not when he can’t understand why Yuuri is making such a fuss about everything.

On the light-brown leather chair opposite to them, the sole female member of the expert team, Sara Crispino, frowns at the sight. She was the one who interviewed Viktor before the beginning of his marriage, and is now wearing a white tunic and black shorts, her dark hair flowing freely over her shoulders. She seems to be in her element, even her appearance matches the minimalistic decoration of the room. The worry, however, is something she hasn’t been able to wipe completely out of her face.

“So,” Sara begins, her smile a little stiff as though she knew that the question she was about to ask would end up a disaster. “How have you two been doing?”

Viktor takes another look at Yuuri to figure out whether he wants to answer to the question, but his husband is still leaning on his palm and refusing to acknowledge the fact Viktor even exists. His lips have been pressed together into a thin line and he is not even wearing that beautiful Rolex he received as wedding gift, which feels like a slap against Viktor’s face. He lets out a loud sigh and crosses his arms across his chest, fine, if Yuuri wants to act difficult, he will get what’s coming for him.

“Yuuri and I are having an argument,” Viktor announces in a clear voice, though he is sure that Sara would have figured it out by herself anyway, being an expert in the field of psychology or whatever that was. Still, the woman blinks at his reaction and it takes her a few seconds to get back into her level-headed mentor mode.

“I see… would you like to tell me about it, so we can try to sort this out together?”

 

 

***

_Two days earlier:_

The red light goes on, silently reporting that the camera is filming now. Viktor gives the lens the widest smile he can offer, an authentic one this time. It feels so unbelievable that he can actually produce those in front of cameras; for so many years he has been doing his little tricks when being filmed that sometimes even he gets deceived by his own lies. But today is a day of happiness, today is a special day no one can ruin. His pulse is thrumming excitedly against his chest, spreading the warm feeling of love all across his body. He can’t still believe how lucky he is.

“Guess what happens today?” Viktor tells his invisible audience. “My Yuuri is moving in!”

On their last night in Barcelona, he and Yuuri had a very important discussion concerning their relationship: they were expected to start living together after the honeymoon and they had to decide how to arrange their lives in different cities. The conversation went quite smoothly and it was decided that Yuuri should move to Chicago, since he was sharing his apartment with his best friend, while Viktor was living alone with his dog. Of course, they both noted that things might get a little problematic later on when it comes to Yuuri’s job – Detroit isn’t exactly the neighbouring town of Chicago – but they agreed on taking care of it later. Right now Yuuri is on a break from his job and the following four weeks would work as their extended honeymoon, as a time to get to know each other better. Right now everything else was insignificant.

After getting back to the States, Yuuri travelled to Detroit to pack things up, while Viktor headed for Chicago and was happily reunited with his precious Makkachin. However, the following few days without Yuuri were simply hell. The first symptoms of separation anxiety started immediately on the same night as Viktor found it difficult to fall asleep without Yuuri on his side. They had shared their first week as a married couple in such a symbiosis that suddenly Viktor felt like the sun had ceased shining for good and almost forgot the functions of such basic things as breathing. It got a little better when the removal van he had sent to Detroit returned with Yuuri’s stuff and Viktor spent hours on studying the contents of the boxes, his ritual for getting to know his husband more deeply. He would have loved to lay everything in place for Yuuri’s arrival, but he had strictly told Viktor not to do it, for he wanted to get familiar with his new home by sorting things out himself. However, nothing was said to prevent Viktor from checking what kind of things his husband had packed for the start of his new life.

No big furniture was sent, since Viktor basically owned everything already, but the boxes were filled with things that would bring a more personalized look to the apartment. He found out that Yuuri liked reading from boxes full of Murakami’s works, Harry Potters, fairy tales and books the covers of which had some really weird hippo-like creatures on them. Then there were piles of manga, all of them unfortunately in Japanese so he didn’t figure much out of the stories, but he could tell the contents were far from perverted (Yuri had once claimed otherwise and Viktor couldn’t stop wondering what the teen had read and where). Yuuri owned tons of movies that he had never heard of and funny little ornaments that looked rather out of place in Viktor’s stylish apartment, but he welcomed them anyway. The ties were the only ones that weren’t allowed to stay, but fortunately they had bought some new ones – and far better-looking, to be honest – on their stay in Barcelona. Otherwise Yuuri’s clothes were pretty, looked just like him, smelled like him. Viktor lied on his bed with one of his husband’s T-shirts until dark shadows creeped inside the apartment and gathered on the floor. Needless to say, he was constantly checking the time and counting minutes to the arrival of the love of his life.

Makkachin has arrived to him, probably confused about him talking alone, which happens every time he is on the phone. Viktor turns off the camera and kneels in front of his dog, running his fingers gently through his fur.

“Did you hear, Makkachin? Your new papa moves in today! He is a very sweet guy, so I hope you’ll show him as much affection as to me.”

Makkachin licks his hand for an answer and Viktor knows his dog understands what he wants, a very smart animal he is. He pats him on the head once more before rising to his feet and sitting on the edge of his sofa, opening Whatsapp at the same time. He has already informed Chris that his sweet husband will arrive in Chicago today, but hasn’t had time tell that to Yuri yet. His former rink mate is currently in the States as well, travelling around the country with Otabek and visiting the places where the latter used to go when training in the USA. Viktor wasn’t surprised when he heard that Yakov wasn’t exactly happy about Yuri’s decision to stay on American soil for over a month, but since Yuri promised to practice while abroad, no one could prevent him. Viktor is nothing but proud of him, Yuri deserves to have a proper vacation once in a while and rebelling against Yakov is the best way to earn it. Viktor hopes that at some point he and Otabek could come visit him and Yuuri in Chicago, too, so that they could witness how happy they are together.

Grinning at the thought of serving the youngsters a meal Yuuri has cooked, Viktor types his message to Yuri.

_< < Yuuri’s moving in today!!!_ _♡♡♡_

_> > I know, you damn geezer, you’ve told that thrice already!  
>> Don’t text me anymore or I’ll fucking block you!!!_

_< < Sweet Yurochka, one day when you’re old you’ll realize how wonderful it is to be in love!_

_> > Go fuck yourself, Viktor._

_< < Oh I know whom I’d rather fuck…_

_[Yuri Plisetsky has blocked you.]_

The alarm goes off at the same time, a reminder that Viktor set for himself just in case, though it’s impossible that he could have forgotten to pick Yuuri up. Humming, he rises from the couch and practically dances to the hall, slipping his feet into his shoes and grabbing the keys before heading out. Soon he will be able to hold Yuuri in his arms, never letting him go.

***

Viktor arrives early at the Chicago Union Station and parks his black car in the nearest parking lot, the anticipation boiling inside of him. He might have made a mistake by leaving home so early, but he feels calmer when he knows he is waiting closer to Yuuri. Still, sitting inside the waiting hall on one of the hard, wooden benches and going through his social media for 40 minutes is not exactly his ideal way to pass time.

During a YouTube video of a dinosaur on skates, Yuuri steps into the hall, still easy to spot among the crowd rushing to every compass point. Viktor’s heart makes a flip, there he finally is, his husband in dark jeans and a plain blue T-shirt, a long-sleeved checkered shirt tied around his hips. His eyes are moving recklessly behind his frames, desperate to find what they are looking for and when they do, his whole face lightens up. Viktor has got his sun back.

Knowing his position as a celebrity and a participant of _Married at First Sight_ , Viktor does the one thing his instincts would never suggest and stays calmly in his place. As long as the show goes on, he must avoid being overly affectionate with Yuuri in public, especially here in the States where he is a more familiar face than in Barcelona, for example. It feels so wrong, for all he wants right now is to dash to Yuuri, embrace him and welcome him with a kiss, telling how much he has longed for him. But Viktor comforts himself with the fact that when he is home, safely guarded by the walls of his apartment, he can hold Yuuri for hours if he wants to without any unwanted audience keeping an eye on their actions.

Yuuri must be aware of the situation as well, since he doesn’t greet him, doesn’t show any signs of interest as Viktor gets to his feet and starts heading for the exit. The echo of Yuuri’s steps follows closely behind him all the way to his car and only then Viktor dares to shoot the first real glimpse at him, returned with a tiny secretive smile, something unfamiliar on his face. Viktor responds by opening the car door for him before walking to the other side and getting onto the driver’s seat himself.

Viktor drops the aloof act the moment he gets into the car and shuts the door behind him. Almost desperately, he pulls Yuuri into his arms and crashes against his lips, letting himself drown in the sensation. He has missed Yuuri’s taste, the warm yet alluring one, for which he hasn’t found a name yet, but he knows it’s far more addictive than any drug in the world. He has missed the way Yuuri responds to him, by wrapping his arms around his neck and letting out soft moans in between sloppy kisses like it was the most natural thing to do. Viktor would love to get him on the backseat of his car, push him over and welcome his husband to Chicago in the wildest way possible. But as the romantic he is, he wants to have his first time with Yuuri in a place more private, not on the parking lot close to Union Station.

Viktor pulls away, trying to calm his breathing to a less erratic rhythm and takes another look at Yuuri. His brown eyes are bigger than usual and his plump lips are red and swollen, the whole expression a little bewildered like he was trying to process the passionate greeting little by little. Viktor feels his heart melt and cups his husband’s face, pressing their foreheads together.

“Hi,” he mumbles lovingly and brushes Yuuri’s cheeks, the warmth radiating against his fingertips. Yuuri smiles back at him and lays his hands on Viktor’s own.

“Hi,” he repeats breathlessly, “did you miss me?”

“You have no idea, love,” Viktor says, “I thought I was going to die when you weren’t around.”

“It was just a few days,” Yuuri scolds him, but Viktor knows from his tone that he is not angry with him, quite the opposite. “But it was the same with me, I felt so lost when you suddenly weren’t with me. When I was on the train, my heart was beating so fast that I couldn’t calm down for a minute. I was so happy that I could finally see you again…”

Viktor kisses him again, with slower and more careful movements. He licks Yuuri’s lips, inquiring for a permission, and when his husband opens his mouth for him, Viktor feels like he has entered a whole new world. His husband is still full of mysteries waiting to be explored and he wants to learn even the tiniest of them.

_Maybe we should do it right now, after all…_

Suddenly, a voice that doesn’t belong to either of them makes them aware of its existence. Yuuri’s eyes fly open and he pushes Viktor away, his hand frantically searching for the source of the voice that has now decided to continue singing louder. After a while, he manages to pull his cell phone out of the pocket of his jeans and takes a deep breath before answering the call.

“Phichit, hi. Yes, I arrived here safely, thank you for worrying.”

Viktor knows he should be happy that Yuuri has such a caring best friend but right now he couldn’t care less about Phichit Chulanont, who apparently has decided to become his long-distance cockblocker. Still, he flashes a smile at Yuuri when his husband gives him an apologetic look.

“No, I’m still at the station in Viktor’s car, we had so much to talk about that we haven’t left yet,” Yuuri continues so lightly that Viktor is a little surprised by his lying abilities, although he knows from experience that lying is so much easier when the other participant of the conversation is unable to see you. It might have been hilarious if his husband had told his best friend that he was just in the middle of a very nice make-out session.

“Mmh. Yes, I’ll send you pictures of the apartment when I get there. And please, say hi to Celestino when you see him. And Yuuko and Takeshi and the kids, too. Okay, I will. I miss you too, bye.”

Yuuri stuffs his phone back to his pocket and turns to Viktor, a coy smile playing on his lips. “Phichit asked me to say hi to you for him.”

“How nice of him,” Viktor replies and hopes that there are no signs left of his initial disappointment. “Shall we go home, darling? Makkachin must be waiting for us.”

Yuuri nods excitedly and fastens his seatbelt. “Please, I want to see your dog as soon as possible.”

“He’s not my dog,” Viktor corrects, smile growing wider when he faces Yuuri’s puzzled expression, “he is our dog now.”

Yuuri gives him a look that is so full of love that Viktor almost collides with the nearest lamp post.

 

 

***

Makkachin must have recognized their steps from the corridor, for the moment Viktor opens the door, the dog dashes to them, almost knocking Yuuri over. The dog likes Yuuri as well, that’s not really difficult to tell from the way he wags his tail and leans himself against the dark-haired man, fishing for compliments. Viktor has trained him well, but he can see there’s something different in his behaviour around Yuuri – usually Makkachin isn’t as affectionate towards strangers, being a friendly animal or not. Yuuri is special to him, undoubtedly. Just who wouldn’t like a man so beautiful?

“Enjoying your welcoming committee?” Viktor asks when Yuuri finally straightens himself, the gentle smile still visible on his lips, his gaze still targeted at the dog sniffing his feet.

“He is lovely,” Yuuri says and tilts his head playfully, “reminds me a bit of you.”

“I wonder how you’re going to manage when there are two creatures in this household that crave your affection, my love,” Viktor says and guides his hands on Yuuri’s waist, pulling him closer. It’s going to take a while before his touch starvation gets on the healthy side, but at least his husband is now here helping him with it. Something warm touches the bottom of his stomach when Yuuri bites his lower lip, eyes squinting a little like he was trying to decide whether to reveal his thoughts or keep them as an enigma that doesn’t get solved for the next 20 years.

“You know,” Yuuri begins quietly, his fingers pressed against Viktor’s chest, “I’ve always liked animals more than people.”

Viktor’s heart breaks just a little.

“Yuuri…”

“I’m sorry, I was just kidding. Or I wasn’t, actually, I do prefer animals to people, but there are a few people whose company I really like. Come on, Viktor, stop making that face, I still like you, I do. Can you show me around a little?”

Viktor takes his guiding job very seriously, making sure that his hands never leave his husband’s body as he takes him through the rooms of their home. Yuuri admires their minimalistic kitchen and the view to the lively park, all the details quite little when observed from the heights. He takes time going through the contents of Viktor’s bookshelf and excitedly points out the stories he has read himself or has been planning to read at some point. He practically cries out when he sees how big the bathroom is (although the sauna is given a slightly suspicious look) and looks like he has found a path to Narnia, when Viktor presents him the walk-in closet. The bed, however, gets the biggest approval, a large and soft one as it is. Viktor can’t wait to get under the covers with his husband and fall asleep with his arms wrapped around him, sharing the loveliest dreams there are. 

”So, what do you think?” he asks when they return to the living room, the centre of the apartment. “Could this be a place you’d call home?”

Yuuri nods. “It might take a while, since everything is so new and different,” he says, “but I like it. Thank you for having me here.”

“Absolutely, darling. Now, come here…”

To his disappointment, his husband squirms away from his touch. “Not now, Viktor, I need to start unpacking,” Yuuri says strictly and gives Viktor’s hand a gentle pat.

“But Yuuri, my love, I missed you so much! Please, baby, let me hold you a little longer, you can always unpack later,” Viktor whines and tries to pull Yuuri into another embrace, only to be dodged once more. However, before he can try to rely on crocodile tears, Yuuri leans closer to him and leaves a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth.

“There, will you survive a little longer with that? I’ll give you another one when I’ve finished, okay?”

Viktor is so dumbstruck by his husband’s actions that he is unable to do anything but watch him disappear to their bedroom, brushing his bangs away from his forehead like he was getting ready for as major a task as saving the universe itself. Viktor hopes he finishes unpacking really fast and heads to the kitchen to prepare some snacks for his diligent sweetheart. Never in his wildest dreams had he thought that married life would be so wonderful.

Until it’s not.

 

 

***

Details have never been Viktor’s strength; they have an annoying tendency to slip from his mind when he is most unaware of it and return on the worst timing possible. At this point, he is no longer certain about the contents of the speech Chris gave at the wedding, but he is quite sure there were no words about the possibility that being married to as lovely a man as Yuuri might be unpleasant. He would never have suspected the possibility himself, either, but the first morning in their home proves that even his instincts might betray him sometimes.

No signs of an upcoming war were present when Yuuri, around 10:30 am, finally managed to force himself out of bed and joined Viktor in the kitchen, greeting him with a kiss on the cheek and being offered a hot cup of tea in return. From experience, Viktor knows his husband isn’t really at his brightest in the morning and thus decided to leave chatting aside for a while. To Viktor’s delight, the tea seemed to help him wake up a little – however, the first words Yuuri uttered to him were definitely not something he had expected.

“I think we should make a list.”

Viktor frowns at the words and moves his attention away from the news item he was just scanning on his tablet. “What kind of a list, love?”

“You know, a list where we write our cleaning turns and things like that,” Yuuri replies coyly, “I think it would be easier for us to share housework more equally that way.”

“That’s a nice idea,” Viktor says calmly, “but we don’t need a list for that.”

Now it’s Yuuri’s turn to look like he has just fallen out of a tree.

“We don’t?”

“No, baby,” Viktor says firmly and pats his hand, trying to gesture the matter is easy to take care of, “I’ve hired a cleaner, remember? I told you about it in Barcelona.”

“Actually, I was thinking that maybe you could fire them. I mean, they’re surely a nice person and do their work well, but I’d like to take care of cleaning myself. It feels a little weird that we need some outsider to do the cleaning for us.”

“But darling, have you thought what might happen to them if I fire them? Wouldn’t it be sad if they became unemployed because of us?”

“You’re just saying that because you don’t want to touch the vacuum cleaner yourself,” Yuuri says in an irritated manner, “I’m sure you’re just making that up and hired them through some company or something. So there’s no way they’d become unemployed just because you ended the employment relationship.”

To be honest, Yuuri saw right through his attempt. Being married to such a clever man might not always be a blessing.

Viktor can’t understand why anyone would like to clean by themselves if there was a chance to avoid the chore in some way or another. Surely Yuuri isn’t really into cleaning, either – he probably just wants to please him by offering to do such unpleasant housework for him. His husband is so sweet, always putting others before himself, but Viktor wants him to learn that he doesn’t need to try so much around him. He will take care of Yuuri and make sure he will get some relaxation he deserves.

“You’re my husband,” Viktor tries, fingers lightly touching the ring in Yuuri’s right hand, “it’s not your duty to clean our apartment. If I wanted a personal Cinderella, I’d hire one.”

“But what am I supposed to do here, then?” Yuuri says, gesturing desperately towards the doorway. “Phichit and I cleaned by ourselves and there was nothing bad about it! What should I do if you don’t want me to do chores or anything?”

“Just be pretty and relax, isn’t that enough?” Viktor asks playfully, they have been going on about this topic for a while now and he’d rather talk about something more fun now, like what they should cook for dinner today or what places Yuuri would like to see in Chicago. But no such questions leave his lips, the atmosphere has suddenly become sour. The aura around his husband is dribbling irritation, its colour the darkest shade of black. He has started to build a wall between them again.

“I didn’t move here just to be pretty for you, Viktor,” Yuuri says spitefully before turning his eyes to the window as if he was suddenly so interested in the families playing on the grass together. Viktor feels something cold twitch inside his heart.

“Yuuri, I didn’t mean it like that…”

But Yuuri stays quiet, his body stopped from radiating warmth, the feature that always attracts him and makes him seek his love. Viktor can already feel the rime spread on his arms.

It gets a little better after a couple of hours, though no proper apology is heard from either side. The cameraman, Jake (that probably was his name?) who was in charge of filming Viktor when he had his interview with Sara Crispino, arrives as promised and is offered some coffee before he starts his work. He accompanies them to Viktor’s usual grocery store, a smallish place where he can usually enjoy his privacy without being forced to drop his standards of food. Yuuri is observing the space quietly, trying to commit the aisles and the shelfs deep to his memory. Despite the lukewarm atmosphere between them, Viktor must admit his husband looks really beautiful like that, eyes twinkling innocently while the gaze stays extremely focused. It’s amazing how Yuuri seems to be able to make even the simplest of tasks into an adventure.

“So, what do we need to buy?” Yuuri asks after a while, leaning lightly against the shopping cart. The small, insecure smile has returned to his lips as though he wasn’t sure whether it was possible to let go of the grudge just yet. Viktor would love to wrap his arm around him, but now that there are a few people on the same aisle with them, not bothering to cover their curiosity of the camera one bit, he decides to hold back. Instead, he presents the shopping list to his husband.

Yuuri pales instantly.

“Well, there’re quite a many things on it…” he begins in a weak voice. “Are you sure we need _all_ of them?”

“Absolutely,” Viktor says confusedly. He doesn’t understand why his husband looks like he was ready to faint, the list isn’t much longer than the ones he usually writes and the grand total won’t be a problem, either. Besides, now that Yuuri lives with him he wants his husband to eat the best food the shop has to offer. The thought of Yuuri eating some instant noodles every now and then during his university years still gives him shivers.

“Okay, well, I guess this can be solved in a way…” Yuuri comments after going through the list for at least three times. “For example, this brand of olive oil is a lot cheaper than the one you have on the list,” he says as he picks up a bottle and places it in the cart, ignorant of the fact that the brand is literally the cheapest one present and thus also the least tasty one on the shelfs. Viktor grabs the oil and replaces it with a better brand.

“Why did you do that?” Yuuri hisses, careful not to raise his voice, though the sound of the previous anger has returned. “I just said that it was the cheapest one they have!”

“Yes, but this olive oil is disgusting. I don’t want it,” Viktor says and steps in front of the shelf so that Yuuri can’t try to replace the oil again. In his peripheral vision, he can see that a child close to them has started to whisper to his mother, his attention clearly drawn towards them.

“It’s not disgusting,” Yuuri snaps, “it doesn’t taste any worse just because it’s cheap. Phichit and I use that brand all the time!”

“Yes, honey, but have you noticed that I am _not_ Phichit?” Viktor says more spitefully than he planned, it is just starting to get on his nerves to be compared to Yuuri’s former flatmate and best friend all the time. Yuuri would definitely not like it if he started to compare him to Chris in return, either.

“Of course I know that,” Yuuri says, a little louder this time, but drops the volume as soon as he notices the said mother and child stare at him, “it’s just… I just want to make the costs a little smaller. I… I don’t have this much money to waste on food, Viktor.”

So this was the case, money. Viktor let’s out a relieved sigh, Yuuri should have told him so in the beginning. Apparently his husband’s pay check isn’t that great, so it’s natural for him to worry about expenses – no wonder he had shared his apartment, too. However, it’s time for Yuuri to leave those worries behind. Viktor will make sure his husband will never need to feel stressed about money again.

“You don’t need to worry about it,” Viktor says, a little softer this time, “I’ll pay.”

Against all of his expectations, Yuuri gives him a very offended glare.

“No, you won’t.”

“Really now, darling, it’s not a problem,” Viktor says, irritation starting to grow again. Why in the world does Yuuri want to make things so difficult now, this is not what married life should be about. “Besides, I have more money than you do, so it’s only natural that I take care of it.”

Yuuri doesn’t say anything during their remaining time at the store.

 

 

***

”So,” Sara says after Viktor has finished his story, her tone careful so that no more damage would be done, “did I understand correctly that the core of your argument is money?”

“Well, at least it seems to be the case for some of us,” Viktor comments, not bothering to glance at Yuuri for he is able to tell what kind of an expression he is making nevertheless. His husband mutters something under his breath in his first language, the words unknown to Viktor’s ears, but judging from the tone he is not talking really fondly of him. It annoys him even more, if Yuuri wants to be angry with him, he should have guts to tell him to his face, not sulk in Japanese just because he can. For a brief moment, Viktor considers starting to talk back at him in Russian, but Sara raises her hand like she foresaw the scenario.

“Viktor, could you tell Yuuri how you feel about the situation?” Sara asks in a mediating manner.

_I’m sure he can see how I feel about it anyway._

Sara raises her eyebrows when Viktor doesn’t open his mouth, the gesture reminding him of Lilia Baranovskaya in her silent judgment. With a loud sigh, he blurts out the answer to her question:

“I feel like Yuuri is being a little ungrateful here. I just want the best for him and it annoys me when he doesn’t want to receive the things I want to give him.”

Yuuri lets out a groan.

“Yuuri, what about you? How do you feel about this?” Sara hurries before Viktor can say anything more.

“It’s… frustrating!” Yuuri cries, not still looking at Viktor as he speaks. “It’s not that I want to appear ungrateful or anything, I really appreciate it, I do! It’s just… when you pamper me all the time it feels like I’m not your equal in this relationship! If you offer to do everything for me, it’s like I’m not even close to your level! I want to do my share, too, I want to pay for things, I want to do housework! Besides,” he says, the strength of his voice quieting down towards the end of his words, “if you pamper me all the time, how can I ever pamper you back?”

Those final small words were everything that was needed to melt the frost in Viktor’s heart and bring the warmth back. Not caring about the cameras for a bit, he almost jumps on Yuuri and wraps him into a tight hug, ruffling his dark hair in the process.

“Yuuri, darling, I’m so sorry, I’ve been really selfish and mean towards you! Will you forgive me, my angel?”

“Viktor, you’re making Sara uncomfortable,” Yuuri murmurs, desperately trying to dodge the kisses Viktor places on every spot of his face, the colour of which is growing brighter every second. However, the grip around him isn’t loosening: his husband has accepted the apology with the most sincere feelings.

“Oh, I don’t mind,” Sara giggles behind her hand, doomed to fail at keeping up her professional appearance. “But see, it wasn’t difficult to solve your argument in the end. All you had to do was to talk to each other and more importantly, listen to each other. I want you two to remember our appointment very carefully; as I’ve said before, communication is the key. I know it’s a little difficult to start living together and get used to the customs of the other member of the relationship when you have your own way of doing things. But I can tell that neither of you want to hurt one another, which is always a good thing. Still, you must remember to make compromises, extreme stubbornness can lead to arguments like this and our experts won’t always be there for you to help you solve them. It’s not good to make assumptions of the desires of your significant other, either. Your relationship is so new, after all, and there is so much for both of you to learn of each other. But as long as you remember to communicate, I’m sure everything will work out just fine.”

The filming ends soon after, leaving them a moment to talk with each other more casually. Now that Sara has dropped her role as the expert of the show, she seems more free-spirited around them. She is quite fond of Yuuri, Viktor can tell, but not in a way that would feed his jealousy. The way she acts around Yuuri reminds him of a caring older sister, although according to his knowledge, Sara is actually two years younger than him.

“Thank you for the card you sent me from Barcelona, Yuuri,” she says enthusiastically, “it was very beautiful. I assume you went to the beach, too? I feel so envious, I wish I could pack my bags and have a proper holiday as well!”

“Yes, we did,” Yuuri replies, his cheeks slightly pink. Viktor grins internally at the reaction, Yuuri is probably thinking about what happened afterwards, too. “It was very beautiful there. I hope you can travel there too at some point.”

“I’ve actually been in Barcelona once with my twin brother,” Sara says, “but that was years ago and he wasn’t really happy with me wearing bikinis and ‘showing too much skin to attract predator-like men’. So I’d really like to experience the city again by myself. Places like the Bahamas or Thailand might be nice, too. It might take a while before I get to travel, though, my dream destinations are not really the cheapest ones. But when I have the chance, I’ll definitely send you a card in return! In the meantime, I enjoy visiting you married couples around the States.”

“Where do the other couples live, if you don’t mind me asking?” Viktor says. It must be stressing for her and the other experts to travel across the country to meet them every week; Viktor remembers that Georgi used to suffer from travel sickness and hated to travel to competitions, especially to far-away countries in Asia or America. He hopes the medicines still work on him, otherwise it might be hellish for him to come to meet them next week.

“One couple lives in Los Angeles and the other in New York,” Sara tells him, “I’m going to visit the Leroys in LA next week and feel so excited about it since I’ve never been there before. I’ve already decided to visit the _Walk of Fame_ and hope to spot some celebrities on my stay. But at least I’ve already seen one here in Chicago,” she says with a playful wink.

Suddenly, her phone starts to vibrate on the table in front of her and she grasps it quickly, the worry on her face turning into something warm the moment she gets the message into her sight. For a moment, she seems to sink into a world of her own, the world she shares only with the mysterious person chatting with her.

“Got a date for tonight?” Viktor teases, succeeding in returning her back on the ground.

“Who knows, I might do some other things in my free time than just take care of the wellbeing of you lovebirds,” Sara comments lightly. “I was just kidding. A friend sent me a message, asking me for help. Sorry about that.”

She is good at keeping up her face, very good, in fact, but Viktor knows that longing in her eyes too well to accept the lie she just offered them. In spite of that, he locks the further questions inside of him. Even the experts are allowed to have a life of their own.

When he and Yuuri leave their appointment hand in hand, Viktor can’t even understand why he was so absolute about as trivial things as olive oil. Next time, he promises to at least try the brand Yuuri is used to buying.

 

 

***

”I can’t believe that we managed to sulk for so long about as negotiable a thing as spending money,” Viktor comments as he lays the plates on the table, carefully opposite to each other. The beef stroganoff is simmering under its cover on the stove, its delicious scent spreading across the kitchen. Only a few more things to add and the meal will be ready to be served, at least Viktor’s stomach is more than ready to taste the rich flavour of one of his favourite foods. He was more than happy when Yuuri agreed to trying it, it’s nice to share some bits of their cultures to one another. His husband has promised to make a meal called katsudon to him at some point, although Viktor knows nothing more of it than the name. Still, if Yuuri likes it so much, it will probably taste heavenly.

“I know, it felt so petty after we talked about it with Sara,” his husband replies. There’s a funny echo in his voice, which is not a wonder for Yuuri went to the bathroom a while ago. Nevertheless, they are very capable of hearing each other. Even the walls can’t keep them apart.

“Say, should we watch a movie afterwards?” Viktor suggests, already picturing him and Yuuri cuddling on the sofa. “I have some ice-cream in the freezer, too.”

There’s a pause that is a little too long to be considered normal.

“Um, sure, but I could skip the ice-cream this time, thank you,” Yuuri says finally.

Viktor frowns, he learnt in Barcelona that his husband has a big sweet tooth, so it feels a little weird for him to decline the offer. He checks the beef stroganoff first before he tiptoes to the direction of the bathroom. Yuuri is standing his back at him, feet on Viktor’s scale and gaze stuck on the numbers on the screen.

“Yuuri, is something wrong?” he asks worriedly, causing his husband to jump. Cheeks burning, he steps on the floor, gaze bouncing from one spot to another, unable to settle for one place.

“Nothing, everything’s okay,” Yuuri claims in a very implausible voice.

“No, darling, I can tell that something is bothering you. Please, don’t keep it all to yourself. Is there anything I can do?”

Yuuri swallows, trying to gather his thoughts into something understandable. “It’s just… It seems I might have gained some weight on our vacation. I don’t know how it happened, since we walked so much there… Anyway, I need to get the extra pounds off.”

Viktor tilts his head and lets his eyes scan his husband’s body, he can’t spot any difference. He still looks pretty thin with his roundish hips to him and most importantly, healthy.

“Does it bother you that you’ve gained a bit weight?” he asks.

Yuuri blinks. “Doesn’t it bother you?”

“Honey, of course not!” Viktor cries and steps closer to him, pulling him into an embrace. “Hey, if you really, really want to lose a few pounds, I’m not stopping you, but it must be because you want to do it yourself, not to please me. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your body and I’d like you if you were chubby, too. You’re my husband, after all, how could I not like you?”

“Sorry, I really thought you’d like me less if I didn’t get rid of those extra pounds straight away…” Yuuri murmurs against his chest. “I mean, you’re so perfect and beautiful yourself.”

“You silly, you’re the one who is perfect and beautiful,” Viktor hushes and kisses his hair, “a few pound here and there, it doesn’t make any difference. Besides,” he continues and lowers his hands on Yuuri’s ass, making him gasp, “at least there’s always something more for me to grab.”

“You’re horrible!” Yuuri scolds him with laughter in his voice and tightens his grip around his neck, pressing their bodies closer to one another.

“And you’re lovely,” Viktor says and leans in for a soft, light kiss. “How do you feel about the ice-cream now, baby?”

“Fine, but you must not let me eat sweets every day,” Yuuri replies, “and let’s go on a long walk with Makkachin tomorrow.”

“Anything you want, Yuuri,” Viktor says tenderly. He takes back everything bad he said before: being married to Yuuri Katsuki is – with the casual arguments and misunderstandings – still perfect.


	8. Meet me halfway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So I take it you haven’t banged him yet?”
> 
> “No, I haven’t,” Viktor says with a sigh, “Chris, I need your advice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya and happy (late) Midsummer to those who celebrate it! I wanted to update once more before my work begins and apparently I made it, yay! We’re now entering the third week of the experiment, time really flies fast!
> 
> The first scene of this chapter was actually inspired by a scene in the latest season of the Finnish MAFS. In a certain appointment, one of the experts made the couple praise each other’s looks and the wife especially was feeling very embarrassed about the situation (‘cause we Finns are bad at giving compliments and even worse at receiving them). I thought Yuuri would feel super awkward if he was asked to share his opinion about Viktor’s looks in front of cameras, so the scenario kinda wrote itself. God bless the Finnish MAFS for existing and providing me with such inspirational source material like this and the fight about the olive oil (it wasn’t near that ridiculous in the actual show, tbh). *laughs*
> 
> Oh, and guess what! I commissioned my talented beta to make some art for me of this fic and it looks so beautiful I can’t take it?! Seriously, what good have I done that the universe has granted me a best friend who is an excellent writer, a wonderful spellchecker and an amazing artist?! (And of course she’s a nice person, too.) Please go check it out [here](http://spigu.tumblr.com/post/162118611864/viktor-seems-so-helpless-above-him-unable-to), it’s based on the scene at the end of chapter 6.
> 
> Once again, thank you so much for your support! ♥ I hope you enjoy reading

If Yuuri had the power to decide, he would have all of the obligatory expert appointments with Sara. Both times, her appointments were as pleasant as it could get if you had to talk about your private things to someone who is still close to a stranger, not forgetting the cameras that were recording the whole thing and removing every connection to authenticity. On both times, the situation felt controlled and clear and even though Sara didn’t inform him of the upcoming, Yuuri could rely on her to make things run smoothly. During this appointment, however, Yuuri hasn’t had a chance to relax at all.

When Yuuri met Georgi Popovich at the wedding, he didn’t have enough time to build a proper picture of him apart from connecting characteristics such as serious but civil to him. To his surprise, Georgi seems to have a rather sentimental side to him as well, as he has spent the first part of the appointment by talking about everything related to feelings. He even made them draw pictures resembling their lives so far and wishes about the future, which, to put it nicely, was probably the corniest thing Yuuri has ever done. Still, too polite to refuse, he coloured his paper with different shades of blue and added a few golden spots here and there. Viktor, on the other hand, filled his paper with hearts to point out the things that were important to him, Yuuri’s name written inside the largest of them. Yuuri almost choked on nothing when his husband presented his creation to him proudly.

“Remember that it’s important to praise each other regularly,” Georgi says in a very knowledgeable manner, “we all need to hear compliments to survive, especially from people who are close to us.”

“Oh, that’s under control,” Viktor says cheerfully and leans over his armrest to pat Yuuri on the cheek. “My Yuuri here is the loveliest creature on the earth.”

Yuuri is sure that zero percent of the audience will agree with Viktor and will definitely express their opinion on Twitter.

“That was beautifully said,” Georgi says with a nod, “however, sometimes it’s good to praise one another in a very exact manner. For example, you could say that you find Yuuri lovely because he is kind to you and pays attention to your wishes. But in addition to praising your partner for their actions, it’s important to praise the looks of your significant other. So I thought we could try it now here. Viktor, could you please tell Yuuri what you like in his appearance?”

Viktor nods enthusiastically and takes Yuuri’s hand in his own, his gaze so piercing that Yuuri is unable to turn his eyes away like he would want to. His heart stops when Viktor starts to talk in a low, suave voice:

“Yuuri, have you ever noticed how beautiful your eyes are? You have such long, dark lashes and I love to feel them against my cheek when you kiss me good night. And what beautiful hands you have, long and slender and lovely when wrapped around me. Your whole body is like a work of art, Yuuri, perfect in every possible way. I love your thick thighs and would love to leave so many kisses on them that you’d lose count. And of course, then there are your lips, my favourite part of you. I can’t wait to get home so that I can feel their taste on mine.”

If Yuuri had a blanket, he would most likely cover himself with it right now and pretend no one is able to see him. His face feels like it has caught fire and his throat is full of sand, so dry it feels at least. He doesn’t understand how his husband can say cheesy things like that with a serious face, not stumbling at all with his words. And yet he manages to make Yuuri shiver in a temperature that makes his whole body burn.

Georgi looks like he regrets making the proposal and is probably thinking how much footage they have to censor from the actual show. It takes a while for him to gather himself before he turns his attention towards Yuuri, lips parting for the question he doesn’t want to hear.

_Please don’t ask me, please don’t ask me, please don’t ask me…_

”What about you, Yuuri?” Georgi asks so seriously it makes the whole scenario even worse. “What things in Viktor’s physique appeal to you?”

Yuuri can’t think of any reason why the man had to choose such words apart from the possibility that a very sadistic screenwriter has put the words in his mouth. He clears his throat awkwardly and lays his eyes on his lap, there is no way he can look Viktor in the eye, not in a situation like this. It doesn’t help that Viktor is still holding his hand and feeling them become sweatier every second.

“Viktor has, um, a n-nice… chest.”

As the silence fills the room for a few seconds, Yuuri immediately regrets opening his mouth. His husband, however, recovers from the shock quite quickly. A pleased grin takes over his face, and he leans closer to Yuuri again, the slight pink shade of his cheeks becoming a little more visible.

“Oh, so you like that kind of thing, honey,” Viktor says in a teasing voice and almost causes Yuuri to have a heart attack when he wraps his fingers around Yuuri’s wrist and guides his hand shamelessly to his pecs. “It’s alright, baby, no need to be shy. You can fondle my chest any time you want.”

Rather than fondling Viktor’s chest, Yuuri would like to lock himself inside a rocket and be sent on a one-way journey to Pluto.

“Yes, I think you two got the point. You can continue the practice at _home_ ,” Georgi hurries, stressing the word home in a slightly demanding manner. “I think this was everything. Thank you so much for your cooperation.”

The moment the camera goes off, Yuuri lets his body sink deeper into the armchair. His right hand feels one hundred times sweatier and hotter than the left one, the feeling of Viktor’s muscular chest still tingling against his skin. He startles a little when he realizes that Georgi has started to scold his husband.

“Viktor, for the love of God, please don’t do that during filming anymore. Children might be watching the series, too.”

“No need to be so strait-laced, Georgi, I did nothing bad, now did I?” Viktor says innocently and winks at the man sitting opposite of him. Georgi simply lets out a deep sigh and shakes his head while muttering something in Russian. They are acting awfully familiar for strangers.

“I’m sorry, but do you two happen to know each other from before?” Yuuri manages to ask, although his voice sounds like a mere croak.

“Sorry, darling, I didn’t remember to mention that,” Viktor says, “Georgi is a former figure skater as well. We used to be rink mates.”

Now that Yuuri thinks about it, the man seems familiar to him. He recalls seeing him in the competitions on television, just with more make-up and shinier costumes, that is. He remembers one of his programs, too, the one inspired by Sleeping Beauty. It gave him shivers, though the reason behind the reaction might be arguable.

“I’ve seen you skate before. Your _Carabosse_ short program was very intense,” Yuuri tells him politely.

“Why, thank you,” Georgi replies, seemingly delighted by the compliment, “The program was inspired by my own heartbreak when my girlfriend left me.”

“Yes, but you have found another path to follow, isn’t that right, Georgi?” Viktor says quickly as though he didn’t want to hear anything else about the subject. “Living in the States, helping couples to solve their issues and now being part of _Married at First Sight._ ”

“You’re right, I’m living a good life now,” Georgi says with a little smile, “besides, I’ve started seeing a very nice woman now. We take it slow, but it feels like a dream come true to be with her.”

“Isn’t that wonderful, I’m so happy for you and proud of you that you finally got over Anya,” Viktor says so bluntly that Yuuri almost fears that he might have hurt his former rink mate. To his relief, though, Georgi seems to be unaffected by the comment.

“Yes, it was time to let her go,” he says simply. “But if I may say so, I’m also happy that you’ve found someone and seem to be so happy with your life.”

“Thank you, I’m also happy, more than that,” Viktor says and gives Yuuri a loving look that makes him forget how to breathe. “If I had to give our relationship a grade on a scale from one to ten, I would give it a pure ten.”

 

 

***

When Viktor said that he would give their relationship a ten, he wasn’t exactly lying, though he might have exaggerated just a little bit. Still, he would only add a tiny minus mark after the number, for being married to Katsuki Yuuri is technically perfect. There’s only one thing he misses: he hasn’t got to sleep with his husband yet.

At this age, Viktor has learnt that sex isn’t the most important thing in the entire world and he could be able to live without it if he wanted to – at least when talking about sex that involves two people. However, he would be lying if he told he didn’t want to sleep with Yuuri. His husband is the most beautiful thing he has ever encountered and he wants to show his love to him in every possible way.

Of course, if Yuuri didn’t want to sleep with him, Viktor would respect his boundaries: he is not going to force him do anything he doesn’t want to. They haven’t really discussed this topic yet; so far their marriage has been a mixture of accelerating and braking, starting from the point where they had to be very careful around each other and where a single mistake might have led to a dead end. Then again, they were rather intimate at the New Year’s party, but since Viktor has banned himself from talking about it to Yuuri, he can’t rely on the experience. Viktor lets out a sigh; maybe topics like this are a taboo in Japan and that’s why it was so difficult for Yuuri to open up to his affection in the beginning.

He is not getting anywhere when worrying like this. Viktor knows the ways to get people in bed with him, his charms never betraying him, but with Yuuri it’s different. With Yuuri, he feels like a teenager who has fallen in love for the first time and despite trying his best to look cool, he ends up fooling himself constantly in front of his crush. He wants everything to be perfect for their first time together, Yuuri deserves only the best and Viktor is willing to give him everything he asks. But he needs a proper plan to make his dreams reality.

Yuri would probably murder him if he tried asking for his opinion and it might be rather awkward to ask Yakov for advice about sex, too. He could ask Yuuri for his best friend’s number, but his husband might start to suspect that he is plotting something behind his back and there’s no guarantee that Phichit would actually keep his mouth shut. Luckily for Viktor, there’s one person he can always count on where issues about love are concerned – without his help, he wouldn’t have applied for the show and wouldn’t probably have found the love of his life anymore. And even better, Chris happens to be present in Whatsapp.

_< <Are you busy?_

_> > Not at all, just chilling with the cat and waiting for Markus to come home from a meeting.  
>> What can I do?_

_< < I want to talk to you about something. Skype?_

_> > Okay, wait a sec._

Viktor gets his laptop and tiptoes to the bedroom even though he knows Yuuri went out jogging some time ago. Makkachin is already laying around on the cover and raises his head a little when he climbs on the bed next to him. Viktor gives him a gentle pat before opening the laptop, he can tell Makkachin is getting slower and less energetic, being an old dog and everything. Still, he is happy he has got to share so many years with him. Leaving the ice was the right decision to make for he has been able to spend more time with his dog than ever before. And now that Yuuri is here, too, Makkachin won’t be lonely anymore.

Chris is already waiting for him and calls him the moment Viktor goes online. He is lounging on his grey sofa in a tank top and sweatpants, the cat curled up in his lap like a white, fluffy ball of yarn.

 _“Hello, mister Nikiforov-Katsuki,”_ Chris says with a wide grin. _“You look very nice, being married definitely suits you.”_

“And I’m sure you’ll look even better when you get married to Markus,” Viktor teases, “how’re you, Chris?”

_“Just fine. Markus has been a little busy since they’re planning a skating show for the end of the year; I might also take part. Thanks for the wine, by the way. I’m going to open it tonight when that poor man finally gets back home and help him relax a little in our bedroom.”_

“Sounds like a very good plan,” Viktor says, although he can’t help but feel a little envious. He would love to pour Yuuri some wine, give him a proper massage and make love to him in the candlelight, too.

It seems he wasn’t too careful with his facial expression, for Chris raises his eyebrow smugly and leans closer to the screen with a very knowing smile.

_“Apparently I’m not the only one who is fantasizing of doing some dirty things with their significant other. How’re things with Yuuri?”_

“Great,” Viktor assures, “he just seems to be one of those guys who warm up rather slowly, although we’ve come far from the beginning.”

_“So I take it you haven’t banged him yet?”_

“No, I haven’t,” Viktor says with a sigh, “Chris, I need your advice.”

 _“What is this, the ultimate Casanova isn’t trusting his abilities?”_ Chris mocks him playfully. _“You must really be into this kid, Vitya. It’s not like you to be so insecure about your sexuality.”_

“If you only knew… What do you recommend I should do?”

_“Well, judging from what you’ve told me about that boy, I think you shouldn’t jump straight into things such as rose pedals on bed, because it would probably freak him out. But what if you continued the way you acted in Barcelona? Tease him, get close to him, flirt with him… He’s comfortable around you right now, strike while the iron is hot, seduce him and sweep him off his feet. I know you’re very capable of that, Vitya. The kid will be in your arms in no time, just have faith in yourself. Can you see it?”_

Viktor bites his lower lip unconsciously, he can see it clearly in his mind. Yuuri laying naked in the sheets, his head thrown back and hands resting on his pecs, his moans only interrupted when Viktor leans down and captures his lips. He needs to get the thought quickly out of his head, he doesn’t really want to hear any comments from Chris right now.

“Yeah… I can see it.”

 _“That’s what I thought,”_ Chris says in a very smug manner like he just caught him watching porn. _“You haven’t lost your touch, Vitya. Now go get your husband and consummate your marriage.”_

”Please don’t use that term in front of me ever again,” Viktor says half-seriously. Chris chuckles lightly at his reaction.

_“Okay, I won’t. But I want to hear some details later.”_

“Don’t you even dream about it,” Viktor says firmly. “Even best friends don’t need to know everything of each other’s sex lives.”

 

 

***

The alarm on his phone goes off, pulling Yuuri away from the snowy surroundings of the story, returning him to a season that is only full of warmth. He shoves his favourite bookmark between the pages, the one that resembles chocolate, and lays the book on the floor next to the foot of the blue armchair that he occupied. He was just heading towards a good scene where the main character finds the snow lantern and makes a new friend in its gentle light. But the laundry doesn’t care which part he is currently reading, it wants to get out of the washing machine as soon as possible and be laid on the drying rack. Yuuri, naturally, puts the work ahead of pleasure.

He lays the laundry basket in front of the washing machine and starts to empty its contents into it. This is his second time doing laundry here in Viktor’s apartment, but he has learnt quickly how his husband wants to do it. Unlike with cleaning, Viktor is actually pretty strict with washing clothes and seems to constantly fear that he ends up destroying some of his favourite (and expensive) clothes. Yuuri doesn’t mind, although it feels a little exaggerated to separate all the colours – white clothes are an exception, of course. Still, he wants to respect Viktor’s opinion. Marriage is all about compromises, after all.

If Yuuri takes care of the task fast enough, he will be able to return to the wintry scenery in no time, but suddenly his fingers catch something that almost makes his heart forget how to beat. Yuuri swallows a little as he stretches the piece of clothing in his hands. He has just found a pair of black boxer briefs that happen to belong to his husband.

Yuuri knows he shouldn’t, but he is unable to stop staring at them, admiring them from every angle. Even though the fabric is a little wet from the wash, he can feel its softness under his fingertips, the same softness that has caressed Viktor’s skin. Yuuri closes his eyes and doesn’t resist as his mind starts to draw a picture of his husband in these boxers, a confident smile on his lips and fingers resting teasingly on the waistband, tugging it a little lower.

_It’s okay, Viktor’s getting the groceries, he’s not home yet. It’s okay for a little while._

“What are you doing, Yuuri?”

Yuuri lets out a high-pitched noise and tries to squeeze the boxers into as unnoticeable a ball as possible. He needs to be calm and hide the evidence before his husband will start to suspect anything, if he acts in a natural manner, Viktor will probably leave him alone and will never find out what kind of a pervert he is. Once again, the universe has showed him he should never play with his faith as he is doomed to fail anyway.

To his horror, Viktor leans over his shoulder and slips his hands into his own, making him move his fingers a little and reveal what he has been hiding.

“That’s not a nice way to treat my underwear, darling. They’re Calvin Klein’s, you know,” Viktor comments in a voice that Yuuri finds hard to interpret. He is glad he is not facing his husband right now; his flush has already exceeded its maximum level and he really doesn’t need any more reasons to pass out.

“Sorry, I was just surprised… I-I didn’t hear you come back…” Yuuri mumbles, his body frozen in place. He twitches when Viktor wraps his arms around his waist, his body pressed against his back.

“It’s okay, honey, I don’t mind,” Viktor purrs into his ear in a low voice, lips brushing lightly against Yuuri’s auricle. “Must say you have a good taste in underwear, those are one of my favourite ones. They feel so smooth against your skin, just like you weren’t even wearing anything,” he continues and trails his right hand down Yuuri’s thigh like he had read his mind.

Yuuri needs to force himself to breathe. His body feels unnaturally warm, if he doesn’t squirm away from Viktor quickly, he might burn holes on his skin. Still, a pathetic, stuttering “I see” is all he manages to produce.

“Yeah, and they look really good on me,” Viktor murmurs and turns his head a little to kiss Yuuri’s cheek. “Want me to show you, baby?”

Yuuri can’t take it anymore. He turns around quickly and pushes the boxers into Viktor’s hands, his gaze glued on the black tiles of the floor. “Makkachin probably wants to go out, you take care of the laundry, I’ll take him for a walk. Bye.”

Before Viktor can do anything to stop him, Yuuri has hurried outside the bathroom, slamming the door shut more forcefully than he planned to. His hands shake when he puts the collar on Makkachin, the tremble seizing his feet as he heads out of the apartment. 

His mind has started to drift to a mist where functioning becomes a challenge that equates fighting a dragon without any usable weapons to defend oneself with.

 

 

***

Yuuri’s body has begun to prepare for evacuation, the sound of the warning sirens echoing in the back of his mind with his rapid heartbeat and ragged breathing. His vision tremors with every new step, switching between clear and blurry, losing all its colour for a fraction of a second. His fingers are pressed around Makkachin’s leash like his life depended on it, depended on the dog leading him to a destination that is probably unknown to both of them. Yuuri is sure his nails will eventually leave marks on his palm.

_Calm down, calm down, nothing is wrong, I have no reason to panic…_

_I wouldn’t say so_ , the low voice of anxiety whispers in his ear, making him shiver as the words touch his skin, cutting deep like knives. _You messed up, remember? Ran away like a child. You probably hurt Viktor again in the process and he won’t have enough patience to deal with a coward like you. Remember what Yuri Plisetsky said to you at the wedding? Viktor should get rid of you before you manage to ruin his life completely._

Yuuri feels how the burning sensation fills his eyes. Another warning sign.

 _Don’t assume anything,_ another voice says, the tone so much softer and calming, familiar like he has heard it somewhere before. _It’s alright, take your time._

Yuuri’s feet stop with a little twitch, Makkachin has brought him in front of some park that currently seems to be rather empty of intruders, at least this part of it. The dog jerks his head towards a tree that is not too close to the pavement and Yuuri follows him there, taking a seat on the grass, back pressed against the trunk. A few rays of light force themselves through the bushy clusters of leaves and form tiny pools on his tanned arms. Yuuri runs his fingers gently through Makkachin’s fur and picks the right number from his contact list. As calming as Makkachin is, Yuuri needs someone who can actually answer him to hear his trouble.

Phichit picks up almost immediately.

_“Yuuri, hi! You called on a good time, I’m having a practice at the Ice Castle and my break just started! Ciao Ciao is a real slave driver he is…”_

“Phichit,” Yuuri says in a high voice, not even bothering to check his surroundings for unwanted listeners, “I think Viktor wants to sleep with me.”

Usually, his best friend is one of those people who react fast in every situation, seemingly unaffected by the surprises that appear on their path and always ready to change their plans to overcome the troubles the universe has planned for them. This time, however, Phichit stays quiet for a long time, making Yuuri almost fear that the connection has been cut off. When he finally starts to talk again, his tone is unusually serious, all the common hints of playfulness swept away.

_“Okay, Yuuri. Take a few deep breaths for me, will you? Now the key question is what you want. Do you want to sleep with him?”_

“Yes. No! Oh god, I don’t know...” Yuuri murmurs back. “In theory, yes, since I’m not really against the idea of having sex, though I’m not particularly interested in the thing itself. Or haven’t been, at least. Not with that many people that is. But you know what, theory and practice tend to differ a lot.”

_“I understand what you mean. Real life differs so much from all those books and TV shows where people just do things without thinking about them because the writers have made them act like that.”_

“It’s just so… difficult,” Yuuri sighs, embarrassment making his cheeks glow in red. “I’m not used to feeling this way, wanting someone in sexual manner, and now that this suddenly happens with a person who is beside me all the time, I feel confused. Like I don’t know myself anymore. Even though I know this is the right label for me, I feel like a stranger at the moment. But more than that, I feel so ashamed of myself for panicking like this. Sometimes I wish I was normal so that I wouldn’t need to make such a fuss about these things.”

 _“Yuuri, if you’re not normal, then I’m not normal either,”_ Phichit says firmly. _“Everyone is just as normal as the others regardless of their sexual or romantic orientation. People on the ace spectrum are as normal as everyone else and you know that, too. You’re just saying that because the situation you’re in right now isn’t familiar to you and it makes you anxious. It’s completely normal and you know what, non-asexual people_ _can feel anxious about these things as well. You’re allowed to take your time, just like everyone else is.”_

Yuuri startles a little at the warm, wet sensation in his left hand. Makkachin lets out a quiet noise and nuzzles against him like he was able to understand as well. Like this, he looks almost identical to Vicchan, just in a larger form. He swallows and starts to name the forms of different objects around him in his mind. He doesn’t want to start crying now, it would ruin everything.

 _“You know, Yuuri,”_ Phichit continues after a while, _“you’re not obligated to tell Viktor about your sexuality if you don’t want to, but I think it would be a good idea. I’m sure that if you explained to him how you feel, he’d be able to understand and support you better.”_

Anxiety is ready to interpret his feelings for Phichit, but Yuuri forces it silent. He wants to be the one to confess his fears.

“I’m just scared that he’ll stop liking me then…”

_“Why would he ever stop liking you if you told him you’re demi?”_

“Well, you remember what happened with those people at university…”

 _“Yeah, but shithead-Mike and his so-called friends are assholes, remember?”_ Phichit huffs, the memory still strengthening the irritation in his voice. _“Only assholes behave like that. And judging from what you’ve shared with me about Viktor, he doesn’t seem like an asshole to me. I’m sure he would understand, it’s not even close to rocket science, you know, and people who claim otherwise are just unwilling to broaden their views. And if, for some reason, he didn’t understand at first, he would soon feel very sorry about it. Since in that case, I’ll pack my bags and take Leo, Guang-Hong and the Nishigoris with me to the next bus or train and come there to teach him a lesson. And I swear I’ll take Ciao Ciao, too, even though he doesn’t understand much of LGBT issues. But he would definitely support you just as much as we do!”_

Yuuri isn’t usually the one who initiates hugs in their relationship, but right now he would give Phichit a really big one if he could.

“What did I ever do to deserve a friend like you, Phichit?”

 _“Nothing. You are just you and that’s enough.”_ Phichit says gently, and Yuuri knows he means it. Just like Phichit is enough for him the way he is. He is about to tell him that, but his friend raises his voice suddenly, the words directed to someone else:

_“Ciao Ciao, give me a few more minutes, will you? I’m on the phone with Yuuri.”_

“I’m fine, you should go back to practice,” Yuuri assures him, actually meaning it. Even though self-doubt will never be likely to stop haunting for him, it doesn’t mean he can’t win battles against it, especially when he has someone to support him in the fight. “Celestino will not like it if you slack off.”

 _“Okay, but are you sure you’re alright?”_ Phichit asks worriedly. _“Seriously, just call me if you feel bad about it afterwards.”_

“I will, I promise. Thank you, Phichit. Say hi to Celestino for me. And please concentrate on skating and don’t worry about me.”

 _“I will always worry about you, you’re my best friend, after all,”_ Phichit huffs lovingly. _“But I’ll do my best and try not to fall too many times. Talk to you soon, bye, Yuuri.”_

Yuuri ends the call with an exhale filled with toxic feeling he tries to get away from his body. At least it feels a little lighter now, the simple movements of his limbs easier to make. When he and Makkachin return home, Viktor greets him with a tender hug, aura clean of negative feelings. Not wanting to ruin the mood, Yuuri decides to talk to him later. Discussions like this can always wait a while, especially with him.

 

 

***

The world has lost its connection to sunlight, in gloomy darkness one has to get through until the first rays return, marking the slow beginning of spring. However, there are ways to lure it into appearing a little earlier. The bonfire has other important significance apart from warming up the bodies of those who have been brave enough to leave their homes and defy the cold.

Yuuri turns the page and adjusts himself better on the sofa, his feet kicking its opposite corner softly in the movement. He can almost feel the coldness around him and can definitely feel sympathy for the protagonist who despises winter so much, at least at this point. Hasetsu was never a particularly cold place, so experiencing the first real winter in the States was more than a tiny culture shock. Yuuri can only imagine how cold it is in the north. Viktor would probably be able to tell him if he asked but on the other hand Yuuri wants to keep on pretending that cold places like _The Wall_ only exist in tales.

A weary sigh pushes itself into his awareness, but Yuuri doesn’t need to raise his gaze to come up with its source. He and Viktor cleaned the apartment for the first time together today and provided some amusing footage to Dan who was kind enough to give them some privacy after the job was done. Yuuri could tell that Viktor didn’t enjoy the task as much as he did, but he was sweet enough not to complain for once while sweeping the dust or mopping the floor. Yuuri tried to make the cleaning as enjoyable as possible by putting the radio on and taking care of the most unpleasant things such as cleaning the floor drain in the bathroom (Viktor didn’t even want to see him do it). Of course, Yuuri also remembered to reward his husband with some kisses after the job was done, lifting his mood at least a little bit. All in all, it was a good start. Maybe at some point he might actually manage to make Viktor hate cleaning a little less.

In his peripheral vision, Yuuri can see his husband change his position in his armchair, his gaze so piercing Yuuri doesn’t even need to turn to him to feel it on his body. He can already guess the upcoming words.

“Yuuri, I’m bored.”

“I can hear that, Viktor,” Yuuri says without moving his eyes from the page. “Why don’t you read something or switch between some apps for a while? I promised I’d watch a movie with you later.”

After moving in with Viktor, Yuuri made it clear that even though he enjoys his company, he also needs to spend some time alone as it’s very draining for him to be around people all the time. Viktor, on the other hand, seems to be the exact opposite of him as he craves for intimacy, but regardless of their differences, they have managed to reach a consensus. However, not always does Viktor agree on being the second in line. This seems to be one of those times as well and Yuuri doesn’t notice it until a heavy weight presses against his stomach.

Yuuri lifts his book a little and gives his husband a slightly disapproving look. “Viktor…”

“I won’t disturb you, darling, I promise,” Viktor pouts, even though Yuuri knows he can’t keep his promise for long. “Will you let me lie here with you?”

“Fine,” Yuuri groans and tries to return to the snowy environment. It doesn’t take much until his concentration is lost again, Viktor has started to poke the cover, making the whole book move a little.

“Why is that hippo white and standing on two feet?” Viktor asks before Yuuri can scold him for bothering his reading experience.

“He’s not a hippo, he’s a Moomin,” Yuuri murmurs, desperate to get his concentration back. “And they are always white, so it’s only normal.”

“I don’t know that world in English. What kind of a species is he?”

This time the question is so absurd that Yuuri actually lifts his book again. “Uh, just a Moomin, that’s what they are. It’s not a real species anyway, but they kind of resemble humans in their actions, although they do look a bit like hippos. I thought you would have known, you basically lived in the neighbouring country of the place where the author was born. The books are quite popular worldwide anyway.”

“Well, apparently I’ve been living under a rock,” Viktor says drily. “What is it about?”

“Well, the family of the main character usually spends winter months in hibernation, but this time the main character wakes up too early and is unable to go back into hibernation. So now he experiences the winter for the first time ever. However, on deeper level this is more about loneliness and isolation. The world around him has turned into something unfamiliar and it feels difficult for him to fit in as he feels people are unable to understand his longing for summer, while he is unable to connect with people who treasure winter.”

“That’s actually pretty deep. It’s a children’s book, isn’t it?” Viktor asks confusedly.

“I wouldn’t say so,” Yuuri replies. “I don’t really like to draw a line between adult literature and children’s stories as the latter usually have so many layers and some of them are difficult to notice, especially if you’re a young reader. But I agree, it’s rather deep. This might even be my favourite book of the series since it’s so gloomy. In the previous books they had to face issues such as saving themselves from a massive comet that was about to destroy their home valley, but those stories were kind of light-hearted nevertheless.”

Viktor frowns at him. “I’m sorry, baby, but did I hear you correctly? Did you just say ‘light-hearted’ about something that was about to destroy their home?”

“Yeah, the first books really are more light-hearted,” Yuuri confirms. “I mean, even if they had to face a destructive force, they always knew they would survive because they could have faith in each other and in a better tomorrow. True terrors live in people’s minds and feel more unbearable if there’s no one to share them with you.”

Viktor brushes his cheek gently with his hand. “You’re really smart, you know. I could listen to you talk about books for hours.”

“I don’t know about that,” Yuuri mumbles, all embarrassed, although the praise has made his stomach feel warmer. “I’m sure other people have come up with way better interpretations.”

“Don’t underrate yourself, love, you _are_ smart. And very talented as well, being able to take care of as horrible things as cleaning the floor drain,” Viktor says and this time, Yuuri laughs a little at his comment. “Maybe you could read to me out loud sometimes? I like your voice.”

Yuuri blushes a little at the thought, he can see himself sitting on the couch with Viktor’s head on his lap, his fingers caressing his soft hair as he tells him any of the adventures his book collection has to offer.

“Yes, maybe I could. Although I probably couldn’t do it for a long time in one go as my throat tends to get pretty dry if I talk too much.”

Viktor grins contently at him. “That sounds perfect, honey. But let’s not do it now, okay?”

Before Yuuri can question his words, Viktor has snatched the book away from him and silenced him with a kiss, an arrogant act to which Yuuri can’t do anything but give in. Frost is replaced with a burning sensation and the pictures of bonfire disappear from his mind as Viktor slips his tongue gently inside his mouth, intertwining it with his own. Yuuri trails his hands to his neck, dunking his fingers into his short hair and pulling him closer to him. With eyes closed, every movement feels three times as vivid.

Yuuri shivers a little when Viktor pulls away, his pulse throbbing so strongly it might crush his rib cage any minute. His husband looks so beautiful above him, pupils dilated and hair a little messy. It’s like that time when they kissed properly for the first time in Barcelona. The insecurity, though, is nowhere to be seen.

“You’re so beautiful, Yuuri,” Viktor whispers and brushes his bangs away from his forehead. “So beautiful and all mine.”

A new shiver sweeps across his body when Viktor lays his lips on his neck, leaving the skin burn on the spots he has touched with teasing, breathy kisses. As he slides his hand under Yuuri’s shirt and starts to fondle his stomach, Yuuri can’t keep the breathy moan locked inside his mouth. He almost can’t believe he is actually experiencing this. It would be more likely that Viktor was just a product of the dreams of his teenage self, one of those that first give pleasure and then leave a bad, mocking aftertaste. In dreams, though, Viktor’s breathing has never felt this hot against his skin.

But still, something is off. Despite the pleasure, Yuuri feels like suffocating. Suddenly it feels like Viktor’s hands are everywhere on him, weighing him down, making it unable to keep up with him. His breathing is slowly becoming more erratic, something he can’t control anymore, and when he feels Viktor’s erection against his crotch, panic strikes him hard, making him super aware of his body in a blink. Without thinking about it, Yuuri grips his shoulders and pushes him away.

Viktor blinks confusedly but as their eyes meet, his expression turns into worry. Yuuri knows that look, he must be disappointed in him. His eyes are ready to start watering.

“Baby, are you okay? What’s wrong?”

Yuuri knows what those words mean, too.

_I’m disappointed in you, you’re not good enough._

“I’m sorry…” he mumbles and gets on his feet before he has to hear those words out loud. “I just can’t.”

The nearest, lockable place is the bathroom and the moment Yuuri gets the door shut, he breaks down. His legs betray him and make him fall on the cold bathroom tiles, his whole body trembling so uncontrollably that he couldn’t be able to do anything with it at the moment. Tears roll down on his cheeks, burning worse than the touches from before, but otherwise his body has started to freeze, ice creep slowly on his skin.

_Why did this happen? I want him, I know it! This should never have happened! Why did I do that?_

_Oh, I know the answer,_ anxiety replies for him, its tone making him feel nauseous in his stomach. _You’re pathetic, that’s why it happened. Unable to do anything, unable to show him your love. Good job breaking it, now Viktor doesn’t want you anymore. Who would want someone like you anyway?_

Yuuri presses his palms against his mouth, the heavy breaths becoming muffled but not any calmer. He feels like he is going to pass out any minute.

A knock makes the door vibrate against his back.

“Yuuri, I’m so sorry. I did something you didn’t like, didn’t I?” Viktor says in a guarded voice. “Can you please open the door, baby?”

Yuuri inhales before replying.

“Iunderstandifyouwanttotakeadivorcerightnow.”

“Sorry? I didn’t quite catch that.”

_Great, so now I can’t even talk anymore._

It takes him a little longer to gather himself and force the words out of his tongue, the act making him snuffle as something cold twists its blade inside his chest.

“I understand if you want to take a divorce right now.”

“Darling, why would I want to do that?” Viktor asks firmly. “It’s my fault, I should have asked you. I made the mistake, not you. You have no reason to apologize.”

“Yes, I do, don’t say something you don’t even mean!” Yuuri sobs, his breathing quickening again. “I let you down, I’m not good enough for you! I get anxious really easily, see, even a minor thing like that made me a mess! And I can’t feel sexual attraction easily like everyone else and apparently, I freak out when you touch me! I’m the worst husband you could ever have, Viktor! I don’t want you to be forced to be with me just because we were matched for the show!”

The atmosphere goes quiet for a while, its only interrupter being the muffled cries that echo in the corners of the bathroom. Yuuri bites his teeth together, his heart is ready to break, it just needs to hear Viktor walk away. He should have known from the beginning that this would be inevitable. No matter what he does, he will never be good enough for Viktor.

“Yuuri,” Viktor says, his voice quiet like he was standing right behind him, lips pressed against his ear. “I’m not going to leave you. What you said doesn’t make you the worst husband for me. I don’t mind that you’re anxious, I just want to do my best so that you can feel comfortable around me. And I don’t mind if we don’t have sex, either. I can always take care of that part myself, I have two hands and a box of toys, see. I’m fine with what we have, Yuuri, as long as you’re fine with it.”

Yuuri presses his head against the door. The ice is slowly starting to melt.

“I want to see you in your Calvin Klein’s and without them,” he murmurs. “But not just yet!” he adds quickly after realizing that his husband has gone silent. “I want you in every way, I know that. I just need a little more time…”

“In that case, I’ll wait as long as you need,” Viktor says gently. “Will you come out now, love? It breaks my heart to hear you cry alone and to be unable to do anything about it.”

Slowly, Yuuri rises to his feet, the step far from steady. As he opens the door, Viktor pulls him into a loving embrace, caressing his hair gently. Yuuri starts to cry again.

“Can I do something for you, darling?” Viktor murmurs. “I’m not very good with crying people, but if there’s anything I can do to make you feel better, I’ll do it.”

“Just stay close to me, that’s enough,” Yuuri whispers back, his grip tightening around him as new tears start to run down his face. He tells Viktor he is going to ruin his expensive shirt, but his husband just shushes him and says it doesn’t matter, says that Yuuri is more important than any shirt he owns. Viktor really is the best husband he could have wished for. If only he could keep him with him forever.


	9. Lovers in Japan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Katsudon sounds like a good idea,” Yuuri says with a little smile but his expression freezes when he rises to his feet, he just realized something he hopes to be a product of his constant overthinking. “By the way, big sister, how does my room look like nowadays?”
> 
> “Well, obviously we clean it regularly, but otherwise it looks exactly the way you left it. Why do you ask?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I hope you’re doing great! Now guess who quit her job, haha? Not always things go as planned in your life and well, I soon noticed that this wasn’t going to work out alright. So here I am, a little stressed but also extremely relieved because the decision to quit was the best one I could have made. Nevertheless, now I’ve got more free time to write, yay!
> 
> Also, I noticed that I’ve been one huge freaking idiot. In the A/N of the 6th chapter I claimed something like the honeymoon week is counted as one of the five weeks of the experiment but for some reason my brain had not registered the fact that the five weeks start after the honeymoon week has ended. I pondered whether I should add one more week to the story, but since I like to plan things carefully in advance and felt that the extra chapter wouldn’t have worked well with the narrative, I decided to continue the same way as before. So sorry, my mistake, but at least I can make my own rules or something in this AU. Right…? *nervous laughter*
> 
> Anyways, in this chapter the boys are making another trip, this time to Japan to meet Yuuri’s family! Like the honeymoon chapters, this was initially supposed to be a single chapter but I ended up dividing it into two parts as there will be lots of talking and lots of secrets will finally be revealed! Also, the Katsukis will be talking mostly in Japanese here, so when a language other than English is used in their conversations, the lines will be written in cursive.
> 
> But now I’ve blabbered enough, please go on and enjoy reading! Once again, thank you all for your support! ♥

“As you two are grown-up men and are capable of thinking with other devices than your hearts, it should be quite obvious that your marriage is not the ultimate centre of your lives. Other relationships are just as important, for example the one with your families.”

Yuuri blinks at the frankness of their third expert, the one neither he nor Viktor knew from before. Seung-gil Lee is an enigma of his own, a completely different person compared to Sara and Georgi. While Georgi is not as open-minded as Sara, it’s clear the man is trying to be more social, although he seems to prefer sticking to his old ways of doing things and following closely the rules the production team has set for them. Seung-gil, however, doesn’t seem to care one bit about what other people think of him, at least judging from his stoic way of talking and his non-existent interest in clothing that probably horrifies fashionistas like Viktor. Regardless of that, Yuuri can’t help but feel some sort of respect towards him. Even though he could definitely work on his communication skills, he seems rather intelligent, someone who really knows a lot of things in his field.

“Actually, Yuuri and I are going to travel to Japan tomorrow to meet his parents,” Viktor replies, probably as aware of the uncomfortable look on their cameraman’s face as Yuuri is.

“That sounds great,” Seung-gil says in a way that makes it impossible to decide whether he really means it. “It’s an important step for your relationship to meet the parents of your significant other – if the circumstances allow it that is. Have you made any plans for your trip?”

Yuuri’s mother phoned him a little while ago, mostly wanting to apologize for being unable to come to the wedding. However, she had come up with a plan that she wanted to make reality: she and Yuuri’s father wanted to purchase them plane tickets to Japan as a late wedding gift. Knowing how much flying to Japan costs, Yuuri tried to refuse the offer at first, but his mother didn’t take no for an answer: they would have used money on the tickets anyway if they had been able to come to the wedding and it was necessary for her to be able to meet the man who had become part of her last-born’s life.

Viktor, naturally, was more than happy about the idea of having another trip together and agreed on the economy class hell without any complaints. Luckily for them, the production team also wanted to save some money so they were allowed to travel to Japan without any more company, apart from their own camera that was expected to be full of footage by their return. The only con about their trip was the decision not to take Makkachin with them. At least the dog will be left in good hands, Yuri was more than willing to act as a nanny for their overaged puppy when Viktor offered him and Otabek a chance to come to Chicago and spend a week in the city in a place that feels quite luxurious compared to the cheap hostels they had stayed during their trip around the States. Yuuri doesn’t know much of what the couple is planning to do during their stay, but Viktor told him that the youngster is interested in the infamous local gangsters of the 1930’s, so he will probably drag his companion to every spot where Al Capone had set his foot in. He only hopes Yuri doesn’t get involved in anything with modern criminals.

“But you know, it breaks my heart a little to leave our precious Makkachin in Chicago,” Viktor says like he just read Yuuri’s thoughts, his voice as dramatic as that of a parent who is saying goodbye to their child before their first sleepover stay in the house of their next-door neighbour. “But we know it’s for the best, he is an old dog and a long trip like this wouldn’t be good for his health.”

“You have a dog?” Seung-gil interrupts him, his tone five times more interested than ever before during their conversation. “What breed is he?”

The reaction was so unexpected that even Viktor needs a moment to gather himself back together. “He’s, uh, a Standard Poodle. Would you like to see pictures of him?”

“You don’t need to ask twice,” Seung-gil says and grips Viktor’s phone quickly, his dark eyes widening a little when they find the first picture of Makkachin. “I also have a dog, a Siberian Husky,” he continues and hands them his own phone in return. “Here, just look how beautiful he is.”

Yuuri is quite sure they were not supposed to spend the rest of their meeting cooing on the pictures of their pets, but after exchanging numbers and making a promise of introducing their dogs to each other, he likes Seung-gil a bit more than in the beginning. A person who loves dogs can never be wholly bad.

 

 

***

Needless to say, Yuuri feels more suited to be part of a zombie apocalypse flick than a reality show when they finally set foot in Fukuoka Airport. Travelling doesn’t even need to be considered when added to the list of the multiple reasons why he would rather not visit his hometown: the trip from Chicago to Hasetsu is definitely not the most ideal one. Viktor and he began their journey towards Yuuri’s home country yesterday, their moods still high when filming some footage for the show at O'Hare, but after a 13-hour flight to Tokyo and a 2-hour continuation flight to Fukuoka it’s difficult to appear cheerful. Yuuri lets out an exhausted sound as he yanks his trunk away from the baggage carousel. He can never fully relax on trips before getting his luggage back safely since it’s always possible that something might get lost. The memory of losing some pieces of his luggage when moving to the States never stops haunting him, although he happily received his lost fortune on the following day.

The floor swings abruptly under his feet like he was standing on the wavy surface of water and Yuuri sways with the movement, his field of view blurring for a second. Losing his balance is not an option, though, for someone has wrapped his arm around Yuuri’s waist to support him. Yuuri turns his head a little to flash his husband a weak smile.

“Thank you.”

“Baby, are you alright?” Viktor asks in a concerned manner. “Are you not feeling well?”

“I’m okay, just got a bit dizzy for a moment,” Yuuri says, “I didn’t sleep much during the flight.”

He would have wanted to sleep, preferably all the way to Narita International Airport, but like on their flight to Barcelona, dreams didn’t want to stay with him for long. It’s always like this when heading to a place that feels unknown, full of possible terrors. And even though Hasetsu is his home, he feels more like an outsider when walking on its streets. Like someone who should not be there in the first place.

“Should you sit down for a minute or drink some water?” Viktor suggests, his touch still warm against Yuuri’s stomach. “I still have the bottle I bought at Narita but I can always go buy a new one if you want to.”

“Thank you for worrying, but I’m fine,” Yuuri says. “Let’s go find Minako, I have time to sit in the car and have water there.”

Minako was kind enough to offer to come to pick them up from the airport, saving them from the draining experience of getting into a train to Hasetsu at 9 o’clock in the evening. She is waiting for them in the terminal with an excited look on her face, holding a sheet with words _“Welcome to Japan, Yuuri & Viktor!!!”_ written on it with pink paint. Yuuri doesn’t even have enough time to get embarrassed by the act as Minako pulls him into a tight embrace.

 _“Finally you’re here, welcome home, Yuuri!”_ Minako greets him in their shared mother tongue before turning to Viktor. “And nice to see you too, Viktor. I hope the flight was alright. This is not your first time visiting Japan, am I right?”

“Yes, I’ve been to Tokyo a couple of times before for competitions,” Viktor replies, Yuuri can’t understand how he can sound so charming after sitting on a plane for over 15 hours altogether. “But it’s nice to be able to visit other places in the country as well. And our stay will most likely be more relaxing than my previous ones.”

“I’m sure of it,” Minako says, “Yuuri’s family is ready to spoil you rotten while you stay here, it’s a rare pleasure for them to have their son at home – don’t make that face, Yuuri, you should visit your parents more often! But we can talk more in the car, we still have a one-hour drive to Hasetsu and you two must be more than ready for bed. Come along!”

Fortunately, Minako had a chance to park her car quite close to the terminal, so Yuuri doesn’t need to suffer from dizziness for long. He empties the water bottle Viktor gave to him in a few heartbeats, so thirsty he has no time to think about the lukewarm taste. Yuuri intertwines his fingers with his husband’s and leans against the window, trying to observe how much the scenery has changed while he was away. It’s a little difficult to spot the changes in the dark, though. Right now he can only concentrate on the streetlights that whiz past them and the sea that opens wide on their right.

Minako keeps monologuing about everything that has happened in Hasetsu, casually dropping personal information about people who Yuuri should know but whose names don’t ring the bell in his ears. He learns who have got married or divorced, have got children or lost a loved one to death. He learns Minako doesn’t have many students these days as this generation isn’t as interested in ballet as Yuuri’s own and hears that his parents are doing okay with their business, although there is no return to the golden days of the resort. Yuuri lets most of the information leave his mind before it even properly enters his consciousness, he is more aware of Viktor brushing the back of the hand with his thumb, a simple action that somehow feels so lewd when Minako is here with them. Yuuri clears his throat and switches to Japanese, meeting Minako’s gaze on the rear-view mirror.

_”Does my family know that I’m married to a man who has been my biggest idol ever since I was a child?”_

_“Technically, yes, since I told them after I returned home from the wedding. But they thought I was joking, so they will definitely be surprised,”_ Minako replies, clever enough to keep her tone calm and not to use Viktor’s name in the conversation. _“Can’t blame them, it was hard for me to believe it at first, too, even though I saw him with my own eyes. I’m curious how people will react when the show starts airing, to you having stolen him from the rest of the world.”_

Yuuri’s heart takes a beat that is almost too strong for his body to endure. It stays echoing inside his chest, the sound reminding him of a ticking clock. He didn’t notice how cold the air conditioning of the car was before.

He snaps out of the thought when Viktor squeezes his hand gently. “What are you talking about, darling?” his husband asks cheerfully, of course he was smart enough to figure out that they didn’t switch to Japanese for nothing. “Something secret about me?”

“Actually, yes,” Minako says so lightly that for a moment Yuuri fears she might actually reveal the topic of their conversation. “Yuuri is feeling a little nervous about introducing his precious husband to his family.”

Viktor almost jumps on Yuuri after hearing Minako’s words. “Yuuri, my love, you really are the sweetest person on earth! Don’t worry, darling, I promise to make a good first impression!”

Yuuri forces a smile on his lips, although it feels a little stiff in the corners. His body is slowly starting to warm up, but the ticking doesn’t agree on quieting down.

 

 

***

If the welcoming committee at the airport was a little embarrassing, the one at Yu-topia is even worse. The moment Yuuri steps to the entrance hall of his childhood home, he is greeted with colourful flags hanging from the ceiling and more sheets with messages congratulating him on his marriage. To his horror, his parents still keep the picture of him in his skates near the counter, the face of his 20-year-old self so naïve and full of hopes of being the brightest star on the ice. Something sharp twists inside his heart, Yuuri needs to ask his parents to put it away, preferably to a box that is stored someplace where no one can find it. In the meantime, he can only hope his husband doesn’t pay any attention to it.

At least Viktor doesn’t have much time to observe his surroundings as Minako’s announcement of their arrival fills the house with life. Excited cries echo in the corners of the house, the voices growing louder as three pairs of feet rush to the main entrance. Yuuri’s mother is the first one to get into the lobby, the first one to lay her hands on Yuuri’s cheeks and give him a loving look. She hasn’t changed much during the past years, her body is still plump in her _jinbei_ and her brown hair styled in a short bob. However, Yuuri is quite sure his mother had less wrinkles the last time they saw each other.

_“Welcome home, my dear boy! It almost feels like a dream to have you here, I missed you so much!”_

_“I missed you too,”_ Yuuri replies, only realizing how much he really longed for his family when saying the words out loud. _“I’m sorry it’s been a while.”_

 _“It’s alright,”_ his mother assures him tenderly, _“I’m just so happy that you’re finally here. Now go say hi to your father and sister.”_

Before Yuuri can move towards his father who has just appeared in the doorway, he is halted by the loud noise Mari makes, something that is very unusual to her character unless it has something to do with her favourite boy band.

 _“Oh my god, is that who I think it is?”_ she says, shamelessly staring at somewhere behind Yuuri’s back. Yuuri turns his eyes in the same direction, Viktor is still standing awkwardly next to Minako, his stage smile trying to cover the nervousness in his eyes. Yuuri walks back to him and takes his hand in his own.

“Viktor, this is my family. My mother Hiroko, my father Toshiya and my older sister Mari,” he tells and gestures at his parents and sister before switching back to Japanese. _“Everyone, this is my husband, Viktor Nikiforov.”_

“I thought it was a joke that our Yuuri was married to _you_ ,” Mari says so frankly that Yuuri almost shoots a warning glare at her.

“Well, it was a surprise on my side as well, a very pleasant one I must say,” Viktor replies smoothly, at least not seemingly bemused by Mari’s comment, and offers his hand to Yuuri’s mother. “Nice to meet you, Mrs Katsuki. You have a very beautiful home and an even more beautiful son.”

 _“He seems like a very nice man,”_ Hiroko says gleefully and turns to Yuuri for help. _“Sweetheart, what is he saying?”_

 _“He is just praising Yu-topia and basically thanking you for giving birth to Yuuri,”_ Mari replies blankly before Yuuri can decide how to translate Viktor’s words into something that doesn’t burn his tongue when repeating the meaning out loud. Next to Mari’s interpretation, Viktor’s original words suddenly don’t feel so embarrassing anymore.

 _“Oh my, what a charmer he is,”_ Yuuri’s mother giggles and switches to English, her attempt quite remarkable as she rarely uses the language. “Welcome, Vicchan, please enjoy with us.”

“Gladly, thank you for allowing me to visit your family, Mrs Katsuki.”

 _“Yuuri, we wanted to give you two the big guest room while you’re staying, but unfortunately it’s reserved right now so you have to sleep in your old room,”_ Yuuri’s father says in an apologetic manner. _“Could you explain this to him, please?”_

Yuuri nods and turns to his husband. “Viktor, my father asked me to tell you that we have to sleep in my room since the big guest rooms are not available at the moment. It’s a little cramped there, so he wanted to apologize for the inconvenience.”

“It’s fine, I’d love to see Yuuri’s room anyway,” Viktor says and although Yuuri is not sure whether his father understood what Viktor just said, he seems a bit more relieved nevertheless.

 _“I bet the newlyweds are a little tired after their trip. I’ll show our handsome groom to their room, if it’s okay,”_ Minako says firmly and wraps her fingers around Viktor’s arm. “Come, Viktor, let’s get your stuff to your room.”

Yuuri understands the meaning behind the gesture and thanks Minako’s consideration silently in his mind. As much as he likes Viktor to get familiar with his parents and sister, there is one more family member that Yuuri wants to greet alone. Quietly, he slips into their family shrine and kneels in front of the altar, eyes focused on the framed photo in the centre of it. Both he and Vicchan look so young in it, so innocent like they knew nothing about the challenges of the real world. Yuuri can still feel the touch of her fur when he bends his fingers, the warmth of her sleeping body in his lap. At this point, he cannot shed anymore tears for her, but her memory always triggers a wave of melancholia that makes him shiver with cold.

_What if I had taken you to the States with me? Would things have been different, would you have had a better life? I’m so sorry for leaving you behind, Vicchan…_

_“We all miss him, Yuuri. I’m sure Vicchan is happy wherever she is.”_

Yuuri trembles a little when his sister wraps her arms around him from behind, her chin pressed against his shoulder and the scent of cigarettes surrounding him. It feels a little weird, he and Mari have never been really affectionate with each other, it’s just not natural for them. Still, Yuuri couldn’t think of a better place to receive a hug from his older sister than the shrine full of plaintive nostalgia.

 _“I think so too,”_ Yuuri replies. _“It’s nice to see you too, big sister. I really mean it.”_

 _“And it’s nice to see you, after all this time,”_ Mari says quietly but this time there is no sign of a grudge in her voice. _“I’m sorry for the way I talked to you on the phone when you called us to tell about your marriage.”_

_“It’s alright, I forgot it already. Besides, you sent me the omamori, it was also your apology, wasn’t it?”_

_“A very smart conclusion, you really are my brother,”_ Mari hums contently. _“But the omamori isn’t enough, I really wanted to talk with you as well. I was a jerk towards you, I have no right to criticize you for your life choices. But please understand that sometimes it just feels so frustrating to have you so far away, so out of our reach. Sometimes I can’t help but fear that you might disappear for good and forget about us completely.”_

Yuuri needs to make an effort to swallow the ingredients of the upcoming cry to his stomach. _“I could never forget you, big sister.”_

 _“I know,”_ Mari says and finally withdraws from the touch. _“But I still worry sometimes, just like you. It must be in our blood. Anyway, enough gloominess for one night, you better go to your husband, he must be getting lonely without your presence. But don’t lock yourselves to your room just yet, Mum is going to make katsudon to celebrate your return.”_

 _“Katsudon sounds like a good idea,”_ Yuuri says with a little smile but his expression freezes when he rises to his feet, he just realized something he hopes to be a product of his constant overthinking. _“By the way, big sister, how does my room look like nowadays?”_

_“Well, obviously we clean it regularly, but otherwise it looks exactly the way you left it. Why do you ask?”_

Yuuri doesn’t stay to reply to her, he has already rushed to the corridor and to the stairs, not caring about the other guests and their possible judgmental reactions to him making such a noise. He was a huge idiot, he should have thought it through before letting Viktor inside his room alone. Unlike his parents, he keeps the objects of his admiration hidden behind locked doors, but this time he didn’t have the key with him to protect his personal temple from unwanted visitors. There might still be hope, though, Viktor is one of those people who get easily involved in long conversations, maybe Minako has held him back with some unnecessary chattering. Or maybe, if Yuuri is very lucky, Viktor has gone to the bathroom before entering his room, leaving him just enough time to get rid of the evidence. Breathlessly, he pushes the door open before him, only to meet a sight that could be out of his biggest dreams and worst nightmares at the same time.

Yuuri’s room is full of Viktors, all silver-haired and beautiful with their elegant yet alluring features. Young Viktors with long ponytails and blue flower crowns on their locks, short-haired Viktors that are just a bit over 20 and have covered their muscular bodies with tight skating costumes. And in the middle of them all stands the only three-dimensional Viktor, his gaze evaluating every single one of his posters, a finger pressed against his lips like every time he is concentrated on something. A mischievous smirk takes over his expression when he spots Yuuri in the doorway.

“Oh, honey, I didn’t know you were my fan.”

“Well, just what skating instructor wouldn’t be a fan of a man who has dominated the whole figure skating scene for years?” Yuuri replies dryly, the temperature on his cheeks rising exponentially. He wonders whether he could lock himself in the bathroom for the whole night.

“Good point,” Viktor says cheerfully and if he hadn’t pulled Yuuri into his arms, Yuuri would have run out of the room at the very moment. “But I’m very flattered, darling. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Isn’t that obvious?” Yuuri murmurs against his shoulder, his husband’s dark T-shirt is a little wrinkled from the travel, but otherwise his appearance is straight out of magazine covers. “Imagine you were married off to your long-time celebrity crush, how would _you_ react in the situation? For me, it was a pure shock. Also, it wouldn’t have made a good first impression if I told you how much I admired you. You know how some fans can be towards their idols, they only care about their looks and the public image but don’t want to get to known the person behind the façade. I was afraid that you would think of me as a person like that.”

“That might have been true, at least if you told me how you admired me right in the beginning,” Viktor says in an aloof manner like he was going through different options in his mind. “But now it all makes better sense… you were so nervous because you were to be married to me, a person you had admired for years, at least that’s what I can deduce by looking at some of these posters.”

“I’ve been your fan ever since I was a child,” Yuuri says quietly, now that the secret is out it doesn’t matter if he reveals everything. “And you were the reason why I decided to take part in the show in the first place. I wanted to get rid of you.”

“Wow, that’s harsh. What do you mean by that?”

“Phichit said that because I was so fixated on you, I was unable to even think of other options when trying to find love – and I must say he was right. I didn’t want anyone else, I just wanted you. But that wasn’t good for me because I could never have gotten a person like you. And yet, you were the one I was married off to, how unlikely was that anyway?”

On the next heartbeat, Yuuri loses his connection to the world around him. The creaking sounds of the old house become quieter and quieter, disappearing under the sound of his own heartbeat. The presence of his worn-out furniture and the dozens of posters is forgotten and replaced with dark emptiness where nothing but the warmth of Viktor’s lips and his hands on Yuuri’s waist is important.

Yuuri opens his eyes slowly and is greeted with such a tender look that he dares to wish no one before him has seen Viktor with an expression like this. He brushes his husband’s cheek gently, making his smile grow even wider.

“It was the same for me too,” Viktor says softly, “I was so happy it was you who I met at the altar.”

Yuuri doesn’t quite understand what his husband means by the remark, but decides to shake it off and nestles better against Viktor. He has never been a person who craves embrace, although the company of his best friend has forced him to get accustomed to more physical – and emotional – intimacy. With Viktor, though, his body has started to yearn for his affection; when left alone for too long, he starts to feel too cold to his liking. Yuuri is going to miss it, his favourite drug. He still has no idea how he can ever wean himself off it once the experiment has ended.

“Yuuri…” Viktor begins, the tone probably suggesting that he wants another kiss. Yuuri lets out a content sound to express that he is listening to his husband.

“Would you like me to sign one of your posters?”

Yuuri groans at the words, he should have remembered that Viktor doesn’t always act in a predictable manner. For some reason he doesn’t feel like kissing him anymore, either.

“Come on, Viktor, you’re my husband now, why would I want your autograph?”

“Can’t I be both your husband and your idol?” Viktor teases him, a satisfied smile spreading across his face as Yuuri’s cheeks flush at the comment. “Don’t be shy, baby, I know you’d love to have my autograph.”

Dozens of blue-green eyes stare at him in an expectant manner, they all know every single one of Yuuri’s dark desires no matter how much he tries to hide them. Grumpily, Yuuri detaches himself from Viktor’s touch and hands him a marker from his desk. He can’t look his husband in the eye anymore.

“Fine, sign whichever you’d like.”

“Gladly,” Viktor says in a singsong, seemingly satisfied with Yuuri’s loss and climbs to Yuuri’s bed to sign the biggest poster in the room, the one where he is dressed up for a photoshoot and resembles a prince from one of those historical love novels that are definitely not targeted at the minor audience. Yuuri’s teenage self might have passed out if he had experienced Viktor Nikiforov appear inside his room and write a message like _“To my favourite fan, the beautiful Yuuri!_ _♡♡♡_ _”_ above his signature.

“And then the pay, if you will.”

“The pay?” Yuuri repeats, raising his eyebrow suspiciously at Viktor’s smug expression. “I don’t think fans would have to pay their idols to get their autographs.”

“Usually, they wouldn’t, but you’re not just any fan,” Viktor says and winks at him, making Yuuri’s heart forget how to beat for a second despite his mild frustration. “But since I’m a generous man I don’t ask for much. A kiss from you will be enough.”

 _Oh, so_ now _he wants to kiss…_

“You should have mentioned your conditions before offering to sign one of my posters,” Yuuri mutters, but climbs to the bed nevertheless, internally cursing his own weakness. Viktor has that sort of an effect on him, just a few sweet words and Yuuri is ready to abandon the constant control that keeps him together in hopes of feeling loved for even a minute. “Besides, I’m sweaty and dirty and anything but attractive right now.”

Viktor shakes his head a little and grips his chin gently, his thumb brushing Yuuri’s lower lip slowly. “That’s not true, love. I could never think of you as unattractive. And if you haven’t noticed yet, I’m quite sweaty and dirty as well. In that case there shouldn’t be any problem with you paying me for my signature. So can I have my kiss then?”

Yuuri doesn’t say anything as he climbs on Viktor’s lap and pushes him against the poster he just signed, capturing his lips with his own. His husband lets out a content sigh into the kiss, his hands lowering to Yuuri’s hips, the touch so slow it almost makes Yuuri to withdraw. The thought doesn’t last longer than a blink, though, and Yuuri lets his fingers sink into Viktor’s soft locks. He likes this, being close to him, sharing his oxygen with him. Even though the idea of sleeping with him does still feel a little frightening, it becomes more comfortable every day.

“Wow, Yuuri, that was… nice,” Viktor says breathlessly when Yuuri backs a little to admire the flushed look on his husband’s face. “Would you like me to sign the rest of your posters as well?”

“Don’t get too greedy,” Yuuri warns him without any effort to sound serious and bends his head a little to the left to provide Viktor better access to his neck.

“Greediness is not always a sin, especially not when it’s about you,” Viktor murmurs in return, his grip tightening a little when Yuuri lets out a quiet sigh caused by the touch of his tongue against Yuuri’s skin. As late as now Yuuri remembers that there are actually other people present in the house, not just them surrounded by the more or less envious two-dimensional Viktors. More importantly, his stomach has started to remind him of the promise of the most delicious late-night snack.

“We should go downstairs. Mari said Mum would make us something to eat before going to bed.”

“That’s very nice of her,” Viktor says while moving his lips slowly against Yuuri’s jaw, “but I think I have something more delicious here in your room.”

Yuuri grabs Viktor’s wrists and moves his hands away of his body so that he gets to climb off his bed. He meets his husband’s confused expression with an offended look. “Don’t you dare, there’s nothing in the world that could beat my mother’s katsudon.”

 

 

***

Silver seems to be the colour of the season, at least judging from the accessories Vogue is trying to make her buy when she gets her next salary. Mila tilts her head a little and adjusts her position in the leather armchair, unable to decide whether she wants to spend money on the heels that glimmer on the page, their whole appearance pleading. She turns the page mercilessly, she has learnt not to give in to pleasures instantly, with a little patience she can find out what she actually wants. At least her experimental marriage has taught her that.

A quiet slam from the door tells that Aleksey has returned home, most likely carrying his large training bag on his broad shoulders, a few drops of sweat shining on his forehead. Mila turns her head a little to greet him and notices her guess was right once again. Aleksey drops his bag in the middle of the hallway before heading to her, dark eyes full of eagerness. Mila turns her imaginary hearing aid silent when the man starts to tell her how he managed to make the world a better place by shouting meaningless cheers to his customers on exercise cycles.

“You seem to be in a good mood,” Aleksey remarks when he has finished his monologue. Mila turns the page and smiles a little at the clothes that have been set beautifully on it.

“That’s right. I’m going to see a friend on Saturday.”

“Is that so? Who are you going to meet?”

“Katya.”

Mila thanks the Lord for owning a friend like Ekaterina who, in addition to her fun-loving nature, is someone whom she can always use as an excuse when wanting not to reveal her actual plans. This time, however, the white lie isn’t enough to drive Aleksey away. In her peripheral vision, she can still see him stand near her armchair, his body a little stiff like every time he is trying to produce a sentence that consists of more than three words.

“You’ve been seeing a lot of your friends lately.”

“Isn’t it good to have friends?” Mila replies airily, not even bothering to move her eyes away from her magazine page. She has been admiring the new jackets on Vogue for a while now, yet she still hasn’t managed to memorize how they actually look like. “You know how difficult it might be for us immigrants to find company.”

Aleksey lets out a sigh, a sign of giving in. He is much easier to manipulate than he would seem like, Mila never realized how stupid men can be.

“Of course it’s good. What I mean is you haven’t been much at home, it’s so weird that you suddenly stopped cooking for me on your days off and wanted to spend time with your friends rather than me.”

Mila squints her eyes a little, after that comment Aleksey can be sure that he is not getting any more home cooked meals from her. “You’re very capable of cooking by yourself, Aleksey. Besides, I have been neglecting my social life after I got married to you. But,” she adds sweetly when she senses how the atmosphere is turning into something that might predict a beginning of a fight, “it’s not good to neglect my husband, either. Why don’t you take me out tomorrow? It would be nice to do something different together.”

Despite its clumsiness, it was a very good way to take a different route and avoid going in the previous direction. Mila succeeds in keeping the smile on her face when Aleksey leans down to kiss her, even though the touch doesn’t light any sort of flame inside her chest. For a fraction of a second, she wonders how it would feel to kiss the woman who loves using dark purple lipstick.

“Of course, _lisichka_ , let me take care of everything. I’ll make sure to surprise you.”

“That sounds lovely,” Mila replies although she already knows that they’re going to the gym again. Aleksey is not a very creative when planning activities for them, she apparently made the biggest mistake of her life when she once told him that she likes to work out every now and then. If he wanted to be a good husband, he should just ask what other things Mila enjoys in addition to lifting weights and snickering at men that try to impress her with their big muscles and empty heads. Still, she is not going to complain, her mind has already set on the upcoming date, the one she really cares about.

As the sound of Aleksey’s steps slowly become quieter in her ears, Mila cranes a little forward to seize her phone from her dark coffee table. A satisfied smile spreads across her face when she opens her text messages and finds the message chain that has brought her the most happiness during the past weeks. The latest text is as civil as the rest of them, but nevertheless makes her heart beat faster than any of those messages Aleksey has sent to her while she has been spending her work days above the clouds.

_> > Sure, coffee sounds nice. At 3 pm on Saturday?  
-Sara_


	10. Like this forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yuuri, can I ask you something?” Viktor asks after a while. “I’ve been wondering this for a while now – why did you never consider becoming a professional skater yourself? Don’t take me wrong, I’m not looking down on your profession but why did you settle for being an instructor instead of a performer?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, now that I look at the word count I definitely made the right decision when I divided the Japan chapters, but the second part ended up becoming “a little” longer nevertheless. Actually, this ended up being the longest chapter of this fic so far?? Oopsie… In theory, I could have left the onsen scene out of the story if I had edited the next scene a little, but on the other hand, what kind of a writer would I be if I hadn’t included onsen in a YOI fic and in a chapter where the newlyweds are staying in Hasetsu? Well, I suppose you won’t complain if Viktor and Yuuri spend some time naked around each other *laughs*
> 
> As promised, there’ll be lots of talking and more secrets will be revealed! While it was a little difficult to produce the previous chapter (come on, me, the break wasn’t even that long!), I had so much fun writing this one. As a side note, I also cried like five times while writing this; sometimes it’s so nice to be such a feeler (not). *insert the crying laughing emoji here* Anyway, please ignore my ramblings and enjoy the boys being silly in love!  
> As always, thank you for your support! ♥

”Makkachin, sweetie, are you being a good boy there? Papa misses you very much, but we’ll come back to you soon, I promise!”

The dog tilts his head a little and leans closer to the screen, puzzled by hearing the voice of his owner from a small black device and what’s more, seeing him trapped inside of it. Still, he doesn’t seem to be too concerned about their absence as he presses his paws against the screen and lets out a happy bark. It’s his way of replying and showing his understanding, it’s a promise of a loving welcome that awaits them at home. Yuuri feels his heart melt a little and stretches his hand, imagining running his fingers through Makkachin’s thick fur. Although his laptop is laid on the chair just before the bed, he can’t quite feel the softness against his skin. Makkachin is too far away from his reach.

“You’ve been making sure he eats and gets enough exercise, haven’t you? And have you remembered to put his toys near his bed – he might get lonely at night, you know?” Viktor asks worriedly as Yuri shoos Makkachin away from his laptop, murmuring threats at the dog in case he makes any damage to his property. He looks rather ironic for being hired as a dog-sitter, a fiery tiger print presenting its teeth on the front of his black T-shirt. His way of talking also resembles that of a tiger’s roaring, at least when needing to deal with people he finds annoying on some level:

_“For fuck’s sake, Viktor, he is a dog, not your freaking child! Can you just chill already, it’s annoying enough that you send me three texts a day to ask me about the wellbeing of your stupid pet!”_

_“No need to worry, Mr Nikiforov. We’ve been taking good care of him: he’s eaten well and we just took him on a long walk this morning. And we’ve made sure he is provided with comfort when we are unable to give him affection.”_

Another young man appears on the screen, leaning towards the laptop across the back of the sofa that Yuri has occupied. Yuuri remembers seeing him at the wedding, mostly in situations where Yuri was about to let his temper control his actions and needed someone to keep him in check. Yuuri hasn’t talked to Otabek himself yet, but according to his husband, the Kazakh is the more reliable part of the duo. In spite of his stoic expressions and monotonous way of talking, he doesn’t seem to be disinterested in his task at all, quite the opposite in fact. He is like a soldier who has been commanded into a mission that is on the same level with protecting one’s country and all the people who live in it.

“It’s good to hear our precious Makkachin is alright, I knew I could trust you two. Have you enjoyed your time in Chicago?”

 _“It would be nicer if you didn’t bother me all the fucking time,”_ Yuri grunts, _“but otherwise it’s been okay. We went to the Willis Tower a while ago and it was pretty cool. What about Japan? Is Kyushu worth visiting?”_

“Definitely, I like it lots of better than Tokyo; the life around here is less stressful!” Viktor says excitedly and wraps his right arm around Yuuri’s shoulder, earning a suspicious look from Yuri. “Hasetsu is a very nice place, Yuuri just took me into a _real_ ninja castle and we’ve swum in the sea and had delicious food every day! Yuuri’s mother makes the best katsudon in the world, you’re really missing out on something if you haven’t tried it! Of course, my Yuuri can also cook it, so if you ask nicely, he might make it for you some day.”

 _“Katsudon?”_ Yuri asks, failing at concealing the curious glint in his eyes. _“What’s that?”_

“It’s, um, a Japanese dish with rice, deep-fried pork cutlet, vegetables and things like that,” Yuuri hurries, his voice a bit hoarse as it has been anxiously waiting for the call to end in its self-made cage. It feels a little awkward just to sit quietly through the whole Skype conversation, even for an introvert like himself, and if there’s a topic that he can take part in, it’s definitely his favourite food. “It’s quite popular here in Japan and is extremely tasty.”

 _“I’ll judge that after you’ve proven your cooking skills,”_ Yuri says, but luckily for Yuuri, his tone is far from the aggressiveness he heard at the wedding. Maybe Viktor was right about him, after all, maybe Yuri is not as bad as he looks like after one has got to know him better. _“Katsudon… that could also become your nickname, it kinda sounds like your surname, too. It’s hella annoying to have two Yuris around and it would take too much energy to call you ‘Viktor’s husband’.”_

 _“Yura, I think you should ask Yuuri’s opinion first before you start using that name of him,”_ Otabek reminds him and claps his hands at Makkachin, making him follow him to the kitchen. Even though they are thousands of miles away from each other, Yuuri can hear the quiet clatter echo in the corners of Viktor’s apartment. Makkachin always gets food around this time.

“It’s fine, I have nothing against it,” Yuuri replies, though Otabek probably doesn’t hear him to the kitchen. “Katsudon is good, so it’s more like an honour.”

 _“You’re freaking weird,”_ Yuri says in a way that resembles those few words said before bursting into a benevolent laughter and turns his attention back to Viktor. _“By the way, old man, do you happen to have a hidden place for your booze? Just in case you wanted to reward me for my generosity of acting as your dog’s nanny.”_

Yuuri frowns at the screen, if he remembers correctly, Yuri hasn’t even turned 18 yet. The situation is a bit difficult since different countries have different conventions when it comes to legal drinking age – to Yuuri’s knowledge kids in Europe are usually allowed to start drinking earlier than their American peers, but at the time it feels a bit dubious to tell their teenager guest the location of their beverages. He doesn’t consider himself very conservative and he must admit he has drunk in the States before turning 21 (that was the first and last time he went to any sort of a college party), but as an adult it’s his responsibility to at least try to be a good example for youngsters. However, before neither he nor Viktor get to reply to Yuri’s request, Otabek returns to the living room and pokes Yuri softly on the head with a can of Coke.

_“Even if you found it, you’re not going to drink anything, Yura. You’re still a minor, remember?”_

Yuri groans loudly but accepts the Coke anyway.

_“Come on, Beka, you know there’s no law in Russia that prevents me from drinking if I want to. Besides, you’re not my father, so it’s not your duty to prohibit it.”_

_“Yes, but we’re now in America and respect the laws of this country,”_ Otabek says stoically. _“And as your boyfriend it’s my duty to look after you.”_

For a few seconds, everyone present goes silent. Yuuri can see how crimson slowly starts to creep up on Yuri’s face, his eyes reflecting intense emotions he hasn’t been able to connect to him. Viktor’s grip around him tightens a little, the reaction resembling that of a person who has just heard the biggest gossip of the year. Sometimes his husband feels so much like Phichit.

 _“H-hey, I wanted to tell them first!”_ Yuri snaps and aggressively takes a big gulp of his Coke. The action doesn’t help his flush get any less visible. 

Yuuri is not sure whether he will actually make things worse for Yuri, but he still thinks it’s polite to show his support of their spontaneous announcement. “That’s nice, congratulations to you two!”

“Isn’t that marvellous, young love is one of the most wonderful things in the world,” Viktor continues and uses the opportunity to kiss Yuuri briefly on his forehead. “Please take good care of him, Otabek.”

_“I will. Thank you, Mr Nikiforov.”_

“No need to be so formal with me, just call me Viktor.”

 _“Jesus, Beka, Viktor’s not my dad, you don’t need his permission or anything!”_ Yuri hisses, he really is the only one who doesn’t seem to enjoy the situation one bit. Yuuri is starting to feel pretty sorry for him.

“If I remember correctly, you once called me ‘dad’ during practice,” Viktor says lightly, earning an amused look from Otabek. Yuri, on the other hand, bounces to his feet and starts yelling straight at the camera.

 _“That was a fucking ACCIDENT and happened only once, stop reminding me about it, you shithead! Can we change the fucking subject already, otherwise I’ll end the call_ _!”_

“Yes yes,” Viktor says in a way that promises Yuuri some entertaining stories about his former home rink and climbs off the bed, brushing his hand on Yuuri’s shoulder before completely letting him free. “Don’t run off just yet, Yura, I still have some fun things to share with you, but I need to go to the bathroom first. Be good and have a nice chat with my Yuuri while I’m away.”

Yuuri almost wants to run to the bathroom after him, not because he has any need to leave his room but because the idea of being left alone with Yuri Plisetsky (although they’re technically thousands of miles away from each other) is kind of terrifying. Without any sign of making the first move, they stare blankly at each other, like two people who happen to share a friend and are suddenly left alone with each other. Yuuri can hear quiet rattles from Viktor’s apartment; apparently Otabek found the situation quite awkward as well and decided to provide some company for Makkachin. Finally, Yuri lets out a sigh, a sign of beginning a new conversation with him:

_”I guess I misjudged you, Katsudon.”_

If Yuuri had expected anything, that line certainly wasn’t it. Dumbstruck, he just keeps staring back at the teen, observing how his cheeks start to become redder again.

 _“Don’t take me wrong, I’m not planning to become friends with you or anything! I just… well,”_ he says and glances somewhere behind his shoulder, _“Beka made me realize that I wasn’t very nice to you at the wedding. So I owe you an apology, I guess.”_

Yuuri is not one of those people who like to hold grudges and after an embarrassed apology like that, there is no way he could not accept it.

“It’s fine, I don’t really mind it. Let’s just move forward from now on, okay?”

 _“Still, I had a reason for my actions – although it doesn’t mean I should have done it,”_ Yuri adds quickly as though someone just gave him a stern look. _“The way you treated Viktor just pissed me off so much I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.”_

“We have already discussed the wedding with Viktor and I apologized to him for my behaviour. I get really anxious when I’m feeling nervous and it tends to come off as being cold to other people,” Yuuri explains. He still feels a bit bad for acting that way towards Viktor and planting such a huge seed of misunderstanding between them, but at least there should not be any more possibilities of misunderstandings left.

_“Well it didn’t help much to see you act so lovey dovey with that other guy in the bathroom, either, but I wasn’t talking about the wedding.”_

Yuuri blinks at the screen, now he really lost the track of the conversation. “I’m sorry, what do you mean by that?”

Yuri squints his eyes a little, visibly struggling to keep the burst of aggression locked inside of him.

_“I think both you and I know what I mean, Katsudon.”_

“Sorry, but I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 _“For fuck’s sake, how much more obvious do I need to get for you?”_ Yuri screams and judging from the sounds from the background, causes Makkachin to flee to the bedroom. _“The last New Year’s party in Detroit, that’s what I’m talking about! Pole dancing and shit like that!”_

Yuuri feels his body become both warm and cold at the same time, never would he have guessed that he would hear about that scandalous night from Yuri Plisetsky, out of all people. His throat is getting dry as shady images of potential scenarios start to flow to his mind.

“How do you know about it? You weren’t there, now were you?”

 _“Of course I wasn’t there, you idiot! I’m a minor and happen to live in Russia, have you forgotten that already?”_ Yuri barks. _“But Viktor was there, he was supposed to have a date with some American fuckboy but he ended up dumping him when he bumped into you! And you dragged him to the dance floor and grinded with him and even though that shitbrain spent just like ten fucking minutes with you, he fell head over heels with you nevertheless! And then you asshole broke his heart when you never called him back!”_

The world around Yuuri reels dangerous, forcing him to grab the edge of his bed in order not to pass out. His lungs have forgotten how to deal with the air flowing inside of them.

“H-how can you be sure it was me? I don’t remember doing anything like that!”

 _“Jesus Christ, you must have been hella wasted then! Maybe I should not start drinking after all…”_ Yuri mutters, his expression somewhere between horrified and admiring. _“Anyway, Viktor took a picture of you at the party and should still have it in his cell phone. I happened to see it before the ceremony when I asked him to borrow his phone ‘cause mine wasn’t working and I had to call my grandpa. I thought it was a bit tasteless of him to keep the photo of his ex-crush, especially now that he was getting fucking married. But then his husband ended up being that same douche he had been pining for ever since January, you should have seen my face when you walked into the hall. Just how much did you fucking drink to forget all of it?”_

Hands trembling, Yuuri grabs his husband’s phone and types the passcode on the screen; Viktor once told it to him when he was too lazy to open a text himself and asked Yuuri to read it for him out loud. Even though he knows he has no right to use his husband’s phone without his permission, his fingers couldn’t care less about the warning sounds of his moral sense yelling from the back of his mind. He opens the gallery and after a quick scanning, finds a picture of a Japanese man with his thighs wrapped around the pole, giving the camera a look that apparently attempted to be seductive. It’s a little blurry due to the lack of lights, but Yuuri recognizes himself anyway. He has found the missing ten minutes.

 _“Wait, if you look so shocked does it mean that geezer never said anything to you about your encounter?”_ Yuri asks with wide eyes. _“What the actual fuck, what’s wrong with the both of you? Don’t you even know how to talk to each other or what?”_

Before Yuuri can even think of a proper reply, he startles at the cracking sound from the corridor, he already forgot that his husband was supposed to return at some point. He throws the phone quickly back on his dark counterpane and moves the pointer on the red phone icon.

“Sorry, I got to go. Let’s talk more later.”

_“Hey, where do you think you’re going? Viktor told you not to end the c…”_

Yuuri ends the call just a few seconds before his husband opens the door and steps back inside. “I’m back, honey, sorry I took so long,” Viktor says and walks to him, frowning at Yuuri’s wallpaper of _Parc Güell_. “So Yura did leave after all, and I clearly told him to wait for me…”

“Viktor…” Yuuri interrupts him faintly, “why did you never tell me about the New Year’s party?”

His husband stops and Yuuri can see colours abandon his face. “W-why would you start with that subject all of a sudden?”

“Yuri told me about it, I had no idea I had met you before we started filming for the show!” Yuuri says in a high voice, his body trembling as his heart is trying to break free from its cage. No matter what Yuri claimed, he must have made a big fool of himself and more importantly, of Viktor. Yuuri wishes a chasm would magically appear just outside his window so that he could throw himself into it before he is forced to hear any more stories of his shameful behaviour. He is about to stand up when Viktor grips his shoulders suddenly.

“Hang on, baby, what do you mean you had no idea? I even wrote my number on your arm,” his husband asks, his gaze piercing through Yuuri’s body. Yuuri can’t look him in the eye.

“I-I tend to go overboard when I drink and then I usually forget everything that happened… Phichit told me about the pole dancing but he didn’t know about you being there, either… And well, you’ve seen me in the mornings, I usually need my shower before functioning properly. I might have accidentally washed the number away…”

“You forgot,” Viktor repeats and to Yuuri’s surprise, he drops himself on the floor and presses his face against Yuuri’s knees. “Oh my god… I’m going to kill Chris.”

“Chris?” Yuuri asks confusedly, just how many people were involved in this mess?

“At the wedding I was really bewildered because you were so cold towards me – especially because we had met each other before and had so much fun together,” Viktor mumbles. “So Chris thought you were really embarrassed about our first meeting and said it would be the best if I kept my mouth shut about it, to prevent you from further humiliation. But to think you didn’t remember anything about it and I just kept pushing you, shamelessly flirting with you…”

“So when we were having dinner and you started to ask me about my ‘steamy romantic experiences’…”

“…I was talking about you, obviously,” Viktor finishes for him. Yuuri feels extremely ashamed that he was crying about the matter to Phichit in the bathroom. In a tiny voice, he tells Viktor he misunderstood him telling him a story about his ex-lover.

“If you didn’t know the context, that interpretation is quite logical,” Viktor says quietly. “Yuuri, I’m so sorry…”

“It’s not your fault, you didn’t know,” Yuuri assures him and caresses his hair coyly to show he actually means his words. He can’t blame Viktor for acting like that, he would probably have done the same if he were in his shoes. Still, anxiety hasn’t yet loosened its grip around his heart.

“I’m the one who should say sorry,” he continues after a while, feeling how his voice gets tinier and tinier the further he goes on. “You must have been disappointed when you met me again. You must have had such high expectations of me, having met me in a state I try to avoid. And then you found out I’m not usually like that: I don’t seek attention, I’m not outgoing and prefer to stay inside my own bubble. I’m bad at making first moves and I’m more likely to freak out than go with the flow when ending up in a sexual situation. I’m nothing like the man you met at the party…”

Yuuri doesn’t even realize that tears have started to run slowly down his cheeks until Viktor leans closer to him to take off his glasses and gently wipes his eyes dry. “It’s true you were not what I had expected, my love, but it doesn’t mean you have disappointed me. Quite the opposite, I was even more amazed because of you, never could I have anticipated that Yuuri Katsuki had so many different layers in him. You are timid yet alluring, you warm up slowly to new things but when you let go of your boundaries, you shine brighter than any person around you. And even though it’s still a bit difficult for you to express yourself with your desires, your kisses are sweeter than anyone else’s.”

“And you, Viktor Nikiforov, are the sappiest man on earth,” Yuuri giggles as new teardrops fill his eyes. This time, however, the reason behind them is so much different. His mind feels lighter than for ages, his body tenderly warm as Viktor wraps his arms around him and presses his head against Yuuri’s chest. Never in his life had he thought that it could be possible to love someone so much. 

 

 

***

If Yuuri had to pick one thing that he had missed in Hasetsu in addition to his family, he would pick his family’s _onsen_. While growing up in a hot springs resort wasn’t always as luxurious as it sounds – the thought of helping his family clean the bath area still makes his back ache – being able to take regular baths in an authentic hot spring is definitely something to be happy about. Letting out a sigh, Yuuri leans his head back and allows the scent of the warm water surround him. Next to him, his husband makes a satisfied sound.

“Can we buy a hot spring and take it with us to the States?” Viktor murmurs and makes Yuuri laugh at the comment.

“As tempting as it sounds, I don’t think they would let us bring a hot spring on the plane,” Yuuri replies and glances shyly at the man on his left. Viktor has brushed his bangs away from his face, revealing his big forehead to his eyes. Even though his husband always complains about the size of it, Yuuri can’t feel nothing but love towards the feature. It’s so kissable, after all.

“That might be true. In that case I have a good reason to visit Japan often from now on.”

Even though Yuuri is worried about the decrease in customers of the resort, he is happy that Viktor and him are able to enjoy their bath alone and with no hurry. Since Japanese bathing etiquette might be a little complicated for foreigners, he was relieved he got to teach Viktor without any more attention – especially the local middle-aged men might have said a word or another about Viktor almost forgetting to rinse the foam off his towel. And of course, if other customers were around, he wouldn’t be able to admire his muscular body like this. Mari, on the other hand, was a bit suspicious when Yuuri told her he was going to introduce his husband to Japanese bathing culture and reminded him frankly about the importance of sticking to the etiquette. Yuuri almost chocked on nothing when he heard his older sister suggest something like that, though he is a married man, he still has enough sense left to respect the onsen of his family and refrain from doing anything dirty in it.

A displeased sound makes Yuuri snap out of his thoughts, Viktor is rubbing his shoulder and a painful look flashes on his face for a second. “They’re just a bit stiff,” Viktor explains when meeting his concerned eyes. “No need to worry. I may have sat in a bad position or something.”

“I could massage them for you, if you want to.”

“Oh,” Viktor says and raises his eyebrow, “are you good at giving massages?”

“I think so,” Yuuri replies. “My sister suffers from stiff shoulders and she made me learn how to massage when I still lived at home. Phichit, Leo and Guang-Hong have also said that I’m good at it.”

“In that case, I want to experience that as well,” Viktor says with a light chuckle. “I assume you intend to do it here, of course it would always be better if you had some oil with you but I guess it will do without it just this once.”

“Yeah, I think so too. I’ll go get my towel, don’t peek now, okay?” Yuuri says and gives his husband a warning look before rising to his feet.

“You’re so unfair, honey,” Viktor whines to the direction of the tanuki statue that stands a bit higher up than the rim of the hot spring, guarding their private bath with a calm expression. “Since you’ve enjoyed these baths ever since you were a child, a lot of men have seen you naked, so why can’t I? Besides, I already happened to see your lovely butt when you were getting into the water and I’m certain your front is not inferior to it…”

“Say one more word and I’ll cancel my offer.”

At least sometimes Viktor actually listens to his threats and Yuuri gets to wrap the towel around his hips in peace, although the comments he just heard about his body still echo in his ear canals, making his hands tremble as he tries to tie a simple knot. Taking a deep breath, Yuuri checks that nobody is intending to rush into the outdoor bath before walking back to Viktor. Slowly, he lowers himself on the rim of the spring and dunks his feet into the hot water, taking his husband between his legs.

“Wow, darling, your thighs really are something,” Viktor says contently and tries to steal a glance of Yuuri’s flushed face, but Yuuri grips his face firmly with both hands and forces him to keep his gaze at the frog sculpture before him. His pulse has fled completely out of his reach.

“Behave now, will you?” Yuuri mutters, unable to sound as strict as he wanted to. When Viktor shows no more sign of teasing him, he lays his hands on his shoulders, caressing his muscles with a strong grip. His soul almost leaves his body when his husband lets out a loud moan.

“You found the sore spot already, you’re s-so good at this, baby,” Viktor says. “Whatever you do, please don’t stop…”

In retrospect, the proposal of giving him a massage in the hot spring was the worst one Yuuri could have made. He closes his eyes and prays that his parents were unable to hear the sound his husband just made. Something to distract him from such lewd thoughts would be nice too, to be honest.

“Yuuri…”

_If he says something suggestive now, I’m going to drown myself in the hot spring…_

“W-what is it?”

“This is a bit random, but I was wondering if you could stop calling me Viktor.”

Though Yuuri is happy that he was saved from becoming more embarrassed (and dying in a rather horny state), he definitely didn’t expect that. “Uh, sure? Is there something wrong with me calling you by your first name?”

“Technically, no, but we Russians tend to use nicknames of each other and it feels a bit distant to hear you call me Viktor even though you’re my husband. So I was thinking if you could call me Vitya from now on.”

“Vitya…” Yuuri repeats slowly, studying how the name feels on his tongue. He likes the sound of it, it feels softer, tender when the strongest consonants aren’t present. Leaning closer to Viktor, he pronounces it again, this time blowing the name softly in his ear.

Viktor almost sinks below the surface and Yuuri needs to hurry to save him from drowning by tugging him up from his shoulders. Carefully, he pulls his husband better against the rim, making sure he stays supported.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, better than ever. I think I just saw heaven,” Viktor mumbles breathlessly. “You know, love, Vitya is not the only name you could use of me. For example, there’s also Vitenka that is more intimate…”

“There’s no way I could use that after seeing you react like that to the first one!”

 

 

***

Yuuri lets out a quiet yawn and curls up on the bed, the sweet warmth of the bath still caressing his body. Impatiently, he turns his head a little, his husband looks a bit blurry in his eyes but he is able to see that he is browsing on his phone, most likely checking his Instagram feed. A few waterdrops are still visible in his hair, resembling silver pearls in the dim light of the desk lamp. Sometimes Yuuri can’t help but think that Viktor is out of this world.

Yuuri curls his fingers around the sleeve of his husband’s green _jinbei_ and tugs it to gain his attention. “Vitya…”

“In a minute, darling,” Viktor replies, his gaze still focused on the phone. Yuuri frowns at the aloof response and decides to test whether the advice Chris gave at the wedding actually works. Taking a deep breath, he forces his tone into the softest one he can produce:

“I want to cuddle.”

Viktor abandons his phone in a blink and rolls to him, pulling Yuuri gently into his arms. A smug smile takes over Yuuri’s lips as he nuzzles against Viktor’s chest, his skin radiating warmth against his cheek, the fresh scent of shower filling his nostrils. He should keep the piece of advice in mind for the future, sometimes Viktor is so easy to deal with. Generally the idea of manipulating his husband is something Yuuri doesn’t want to put into practice but when used like this, their legs intertwined and fingers drawing invisible paths on each other’s skin, it can’t be that bad.

“Are you comfortable there, love?” Viktor asks, his lips pressed against Yuuri’s moist hair.

Yuuri closes his eyes and replies with a smile neither of them can see. “Yeah, so comfortable.”

“How silly of me, of course you are. You like my chest so much after all.”

Yuuri groans quietly, even though his husband is considered the very embodiment of seduction, he can be such a mood-ruiner every now and then.

“For how long are you planning to tease me about it?”

“For all eternity, beautiful. For all eternity.”

_If only you could stay with me for that long._

From the day Yuuri read _The Prisoner of Azkaban_ for the first time, he has been dreaming of owning a time turner of his own. Even though he knows the consequences of using it, he would love to relive the stolen minutes again and again, always lying safely in his beloved’s arms. But he was cursed to born a muggle who, like everyone else, can do nothing against the flow of time that sooner or later takes away everything that one loves the most. For Yuuri, that point looms at the end of the upcoming week, the date already set and written in his calendar. It would have been easier if he had listened to himself and had not got so attached to Viktor, but deep down Yuuri is a masochist, always willing to get hurt for being loved for a moment. Even if it will break his heart.

“Vitya, have you thought what you want to do in the future?” Yuuri asks quietly. “You know, now that you have ended your career and are free to do anything you want?”

“What’s this, you sound like a guidance counselor, honey,” Viktor replies with a light chuckle. “And if you asked Yakov, he would say I always did what I wanted even when I was competing. I really don’t know yet, I’ve done some choreographies for other skaters and it has been pretty fun. Of course, I also get money from taking part in all kinds of commercials and some people would like to write my biography even though I’m still this young. But it would be fun to continue doing something related to figure skating. Although I’m glad I have left the competitive scene, the love of ice will never fade away. Maybe I should try coaching…”

Yuuri’s heart takes a hopeful beat, maybe he could ask Viktor to come to Detroit with him. Although the Ice Castle is not the most famous rink in the country, its students possess lots of potential. He could see Viktor guide the children with him, with his help they could make Asha the biggest star of their generation. Celestino would definitely hire Viktor, too, just who wouldn’t want the legendary figure skating champion in his team?

“Oh, that reminds me, I got a mail from France just a little while ago. They asked me to become a coach for some kid there, rumour has it he is very talented and will likely become the next major rival for Yura.”

Yuuri stops breathing.

“I see. What did you tell them?” he asks, desperate to keep his voice calm. The warmth is starting to die out.

“Nothing yet, I told them I was on a vacation and would contact them in a few weeks. Right now, you are the only one that matters, love.”

Yuuri needs to check twice that anxiety stays locked behind its bars. He should have seen this coming, of course a man like Viktor is asked to top-class projects like that. Just another reminder of how their time together is limited.

“You’re thinking too much, baby, I can tell,” Viktor says and strokes his locks tenderly. “Let’s just focus on the moment, okay?”

“Yeah,” Yuuri murmurs back. The uneasiness won’t leave him alone, though.

“Yuuri, can I ask you something?” Viktor asks after a while. “I’ve been wondering this for a while now – why did you never consider becoming a professional skater yourself? Don’t take me wrong, I’m not looking down on your profession but why did you settle for being an instructor instead of a performer?”

_Of course he would ask that at some point._

“I was aiming at becoming a professional athlete,” Yuuri says quietly, “becoming a figure skater was always my dream when I was little. That’s the reason I moved to the States in the first place, I wanted to become a good enough a skater to be able to meet you on the ice. But when I was 21, my dream was crushed into pieces.”

“What happened?” Viktor asks softly. He hasn’t stopped petting Yuuri’s hair for a moment.

“I was in Skate America, one step away from being qualified for Grand Prix final. I had done well in my short program and my coach was sure the free would be a piece of cake for me. But then, the night before the free skate… I got a call from home and heard that my dog, Vicchan – I named her after you, silly, right? Um, anyway… s-she was run over. So I failed miserably at my free program and after that, I could never think of competing again. Since when I stepped on the ice and was met with the flashlights, all I could think was the headlights Vicchan saw before dying…”

“Yuuri, I’m so sorry…” Viktor whispers and kisses his hair. ”Sorry I asked you to tell me about it, baby.”

Yuuri shakes his head a little, swallowing the tears. “It’s okay, you had the right to know. I’m over it, I think, but the memory still hurts every now and then… You know, my dog’s death was also the reason I didn’t want to come back to Japan. Everyone in Hasetsu had such high hopes for me, wishing I could make my country the next promised land for figure skating and then I failed because I was so broken by the death of a mere pet… I was so ashamed of myself for letting everyone down, I was sure people would hate a weakling like me if I ever was brave enough to step on their soil again…”

“You’re not a weakling, my love,” Viktor says and squeezes him harder against his body. “It’s completely normal to react like that. If… if something were to happen to those I treasure the most, I would break down, too. And I’m sure no one here hates you for choosing a different path than they had expected. You were so brave that you even went on ice after hearing news like that. You’re so much braver than you think.”

“You’re just saying that…”

“No, I’m not. I’m telling you the truth, Yuuri. You’re so brave when you try to face everything on your own even if you’re scared to death. But you know what, you don’t have to try to fight against your fears on your own, no one has to. There are so many people around you who are willing to fight with you, your family, Minako, Phichit, your other friends. And of course, me. So please, Yuuri, whenever you feel sad or like you don’t know which road to take, come to one of us. We all will make sure you’ll get back on your feet and can continue forward.”

Yuuri just squeezes him in return.

“Can I tell you something about me? I think you should know something about my past too…” Viktor asks, his voice a little hoarse like it was difficult for him to breathe. Yuuri replies with a tiny nod.

“I’m very grateful that your parents have been so good to me, because I don’t really get along with my own. No, that wasn’t a right way to put it… what I mean is I haven’t been in touch with them for years,” Viktor tells, his tone remaining calm even though he has to take some breaks between sentences. “They’re, how should I say it nicely, rather conservative and when they found out that I wasn’t into girls at all, they turned into complete monsters.”

“Did they kick you out of your home?” Yuuri whispers, voice cracking. Tears have started to flow down his face.

“No, though I wish they had,” Viktor says spitefully. “They started to act like I didn’t exist at all, every time I tried to talk to them, they behaved like I wasn’t there. So I started to practice harder than ever, I thought that they would relent if I brought a gold medal home for them. And then, I won the Junior World Championships with the highest score in history. But it didn’t matter, nothing changed and they continued their lives like they never had a son. So I packed my bags and left home, never to return.”

“W-where did you go?”

“Yakov took me to his home where I stayed until I turned 18. Although he is a bit stubborn and old-fashioned, he never abandoned me or thought I was less good just because I liked boys. He has always been more like a father to me than my real one and… Honey, are you okay?”

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri sobs, unable to control his crying anymore. “It’s just so unfair! No one should be treated like that, no one! I’m so sorry you had to go through that and sorry that I whined about my dog’s death to you when you had experienced something so horrible!”

“Shh, baby, it’s not supposed to be a competition of which of us has had it worse,” Viktor says. “Everyone has gone through lots of bad things and is allowed to feel sad about the things they have experienced. Besides, it’s in the past now. Sometimes you just need to leave bad things behind and concentrate on finding your happiness. What really matters is that I’m happy now.”

Cautiously, Yuuri detaches himself from Viktor and hauls his body a bit upwards so that he is able to meet Viktor’s eyes. His husband is not crying, but the expression is something he hasn’t seen before, something the media personality of Viktor Nikiforov would never show to the cameras. Biting his lower lip to control his tears, Yuuri moves his hands gently to his cheeks.

“I can’t give you much,” he says, his words being interrupted by an ugly hiccup, “but I can promise you no matter what happens, I will always accept you the way you are.”

Viktor lays his hands on Yuuri’s own. “Thank you, my Yuuri. That’s all I ask of you.”

 

 

***

Never during their marriage has Yuuri woken up before him, but the next morning, Viktor wakes up alone in the sheets, his hands brushing an empty spot next to his body. Yawning, Viktor rises to his knees and checks his phone for sweet good morning messages from his husband, only to be a little disappointed when he finds none. His mood changes in a few seconds, though, the new motivation of finding his beloved and wishing him good morning in person flows through his body and makes him change his clothes and brush his teeth extra quickly. Viktor doesn’t even bother to try doing his hair here, no matter what he puts in it, the final result is the same due the humid air. Luckily for him, no paparazzi is here to judge his looks.

The stairs creak under his feet as Viktor makes his way to the second floor where the owners of the house can enjoy their privacy. Yuuri is nowhere to be seen, though, but the living room isn’t empty. His mother-in-law is sitting at a low table, her fingers wrapped around a cup like she was trying to warm her hands. She raises her gaze and greets Viktor with a friendly expression.

“Good morning, Vicchan.”

“Morning, Mrs Katsuki. Is Yuuri here?”

“Yuuri is out with Mari, they buy food. Yuuri cooks tonight,” Hiroko explains with a bright smile and taps the table in front of her. “Please, sit with me. I want to talk with you.”

Viktor obeys and sits on the cushion opposite to his mother-in-law. The situation makes him feel a little nervous, this is the first time on their trip when he is left alone with Yuuri’s parents. Personality-wise there is nothing wrong with them; the Katsukis have been nothing but sweet towards him, always relaxed around him and interested in getting to know him. However, Yuuri has always worked as an interpreter between them, switching naturally between languages and making Viktor’s words sound at least ten times politer in Japanese. He shakes the thought off as Yuuri’s mother pours him some tea, he should not be nervous about the communication situation, he is the one who is capable of using English fluently, after all. He remembers how it was when he was still learning, the frustration of failing at using the proper forms and words in right situations, something he still experiences even nowadays. Hiroko is probably aware of the same feeling, but nevertheless she is brave enough to step out of her comfort zone and try to discuss with him, brave enough to believe in her success. That feature is definitely something that is worth respecting.

“Is it good? Tea?” Hiroko asks gently when Viktor takes his first sip. It’s a bit different from the Russian tea he has grown used to, the taste not as strong, but he likes it anyway. Its warm scent makes his whole body relax.

“Very good, thank you.”

“Good. Vicchan, I want to know something, please. Are you happy with Yuuri?”

Viktor did anticipate a talk like this, but still the frankness of her words takes him aback a little. Right now, he curses at his own inability of delivering anything in Japanese except for easy words such as “yes”, “no”, and “thank you” that he has picked up during their stay. If he had known that he would be married to Yuuri one day, he would have studied the language in advance so that he could praise his husband to his parents in a way he deserves. Instead, he needs to stick to the easy way to be sure his message will be understood.

“Very happy. I’m the happiest man in the world with him.”

Hiroko smiles at him in a way that reminds him of the sun, Yuuri does really look like his mother, after all.

“I’m happy, I don’t worry then,” she says and makes Viktor laugh a little, despite her son turning 26 this year, she is still concerned about the wellbeing of her youngest child. “Yuuri is happy with you, too, I know that. And I’m happy for other reason: Yuuri is so far away from us that our family is smaller. But now he is here again and he brings you with him. Now my family is bigger: I have a daughter and two sons. I’m happy you are in my family, Vicchan.”

Viktor almost starts to cry at her words, she hasn’t even known her for a week and yet she is treating him as her son, with more sincerity than his own mother has ever offered to him. This is how mothers are supposed to be like.

“Thank you, Mrs Katsuki, thank you so much…” he mumbles and quickly wipes the corner of his eyes just to make sure no water has got on his face. “I’m also happy to be in your family, I promise I’ll learn Japanese so that I can show my gratitude better and…”

“Hiroko,” Yuuri’s mother interrupts him gently. “Say Hiroko, please. No, no good… please, say _okaasan_?”

“ _Okaasan_?” Viktor repeats, he has no idea what that word means, but he remembers hearing it before from Yuuri’s mouth, so it shouldn’t be anything bad. At least his mother-in-law nods enthusiastically at his attempt.

“Oh, and Toshiya-san is _otoosan_ , okay?” Hiroko continues when her husband steps into the room and says something to him in Japanese, earning a bright reply from him. “ _Otoosan_ , please.”

“ _Otoosan_ ,” Viktor says as Yuuri’s father sits next to him. The couple chuckles contently and Toshiya offers him a thick brown photo album.

“Yuuri’s baby photos,” he explains. “Want to see?”

“ _Hai_ , yes please!”

They have reached the third album, its pages full of photos of elementary school aged Yuuri, his body having lost most of its roundness apart from his adorable cheeks, when the most beautiful man in the world returns home with his older sister. Yuuri sticks his head into the doorway and begins a greeting that ends up becoming a high-pitched scream before Viktor even realises what language he was using before. The shopping bags fall on the floor and his husband rushes to his parents, desperately trying to get the albums back. Viktor decides to save his comments of his cute chubby appearance for later and goes to the kitchen to help his sister-in-law with the groceries.

“Why is Yuuri making such a fuss now?” Mari asks when Viktor starts to empty the shopping bags with her.

“No big reason, your parents just showed me his baby pictures.”

“Ah, I see,” Mari comments lightly. “For your information, I happen to have a nice photo collection of Yuuri when he was in high school. I can sell it to you if we come to agree on the price.”

Needless to say, Viktor is ready to pay even 11,000 yen for such a treasure.

“By the way, your parents asked me to call them _okaasan_ and _otoosan_ from now on. Mind telling me what those words mean?”

“Well, they want you to call them mother and father now, since you’re part of the family,” Mari says and gives him a little smile. “And now that you’re married to my little brother, you can call me _neesan_ if you want – Yuuri calls me ‘big sister’ as well. Hey, don’t tear up on me,” she adds and quickly hands Viktor a paper towel. “I already need to take care of Yuuri, I didn’t know you’re such a sensitive guy. Or forget it, maybe I can look after two boys after all. You deserve just as much as Yuuri does, being part of the family and everything.”

 

 

***

The sky has changed its blue cloak into a grey one, the change so unpleasant that even the sun has decided to disappear from sight. Raindrops roll silently down the window glass, the world outside the office looking extremely lonely, withdrawn in its thick dark veil. Sara wraps her towel better around her shoulders and tries to concentrate her attention on the report that is waiting to be written on the tablet lying on her lap. She should have some clean clothes waiting in her locker room, she always likes to be one step ahead in case she happens to face a minor disaster. Still, she is unable to stand up, her body having become too heavy for her to support. The same greyness of the sky has filled her heart.

_“Just my luck,” Sara complained as she stepped on the wet street, she would definitely ruin her heels before she would get back home. She should have seen this coming, New York had waited too long for the next shower. “I didn’t take an umbrella with me.”_

_“Then it’s a good thing that I brought one,” Mila replied smoothly and opened her black umbrella. “Let me walk you back to the office, you said you had some work stuff you had to take care of, am I right?”_

_“It’s too far away, I couldn’t bother you. But if your offer is still valid, you could walk me to the nearest subway station.”_

_“Sure, whatever suits you best. Now come here, I don’t want you to ruin your beautiful clothes.”_

_Of course, Sara wouldn’t have minded if she could have walked with her a little longer. But this was always better than separating immediately after stepping out of the café, senses still filled with the warm smell of cappuccino and chocolate brownie cake. At least she got to admire her slender figure in that dark crop top and those jeans that really highlight her hips. There was nothing bad at admiring someone’s looks, right? She did it all the time even though it wasn’t that common for her to want to lean down and kiss just anyone’s stomach, right next to their ruby naval jewellery._

Sara deletes the sentence she just wrote, despite her fluency in English, she has somehow forgotten how the grammar of the said language works. Even the words seem unfamiliar in her eyes, the screen becoming blurrier as the picture changes into another, set again in the rainy streets of Manhattan, now close to the entrance of the metro station.

_“Thanks to you, I might just survive the horrible weather,” Sara said with a giggle, they had managed to avoid the worst puddles and missed the shower a passing taxi had thrown on the people waiting for the traffic lights to turn green. “It was fun seeing you again, I really needed a little break from work.”_

_“As much as I needed a break from my married life – as you reminded me and Aleksey a while ago, it’s also important to maintain other social relationships,” Mila added with a playful grin when Sara raised her eyebrow at the comment, too naïve to realize anything weird in her words back then. “Oh, but before you go, you probably want to get that cream away from your lips. Otherwise you might earn some weird looks in the subway.”_

_“Why didn’t you say that earlier?” Sara cried, feeling her cheeks flush instantly. “On which side is it? I didn’t remember to bring my mirror with me…”_

_“No worries, I’ll get that for you.”_

_Whatever she had expected, the warm taste against her lips certainly wasn’t it, the taste enough to set pleasure on fire inside her chest and sweep a burning sensation all the way to her toes. Against all her instincts, Sara refrained from wrapping her arms around her body and pulling her close. All she did was stare at Mila with horror in her eyes, the initial satisfaction turning into a slowly rising panic. She couldn’t be kissed by this woman, not by a married woman._

_Trebling, Sara pushed her away and stepped back, close to the border of the outside world where rain was more than a pattering sound against the fabric of the umbrella. “Why did you do that?”_

_Never in her life had she seen as joyless a smile on Mila’s face. “I think you know why.”_

_“No, I don’t.”_

_“You’re just saying that because you don’t want to admit it,” Mila said, “but I don’t love Aleksey. Even though he seemed like a good husband at first, the attraction wore off quickly. But I don’t mind I was married off to him, at least it made me realize that I’m not exclusively attracted to men. The one I really love is you, Sara.”_

_“You’re just confused,” Sara whispered, feeling her eyes starting to burn warningly, “sometimes people get crushes during their relationships and it’s completely normal, they wear off. Besides, you and I haven’t even known each other for long, of course you are mistaken. You just imagine you’re attracted to me because we have spent so much time together, but trust me, you’ll get over it if you’re patient with your husband and…”_

_“You can stop with your psychological bullshit,” Mila replied sharply, her accent stronger than ever before. “I’m not imagining anything and I can see straight through you: you feel the same about me but are too afraid to say it. I know what I feel and I’ll do anything to prove it to you. I’ll leave Aleksey tonight, then you don’t need to worry about the situation anymore. Please, Sara, just tell me the truth: you do love me as well, don’t you?”_

_Sara forced the beginning of a cry back to her stomach and faced Mila with a stern look. As she blurted out the following words, her heart broke into pieces: “You’re wrong about me, Mrs Babicheva. I don’t love you and no matter what you do, I never will._ _I recommend you go back to your husband now, please don’t try to contact me again unless it’s about the show.”_

_Without waiting for her reply, Sara turned her back at her and stepped into the rain, only to pass the entrance to the station and turn right, beginning her journey back to the office on foot. At some point, she forgot what kind of drops had made her face so wet._

“You’re still here?”

Sara almost jumps at the sudden noise and turns her eyes towards the direction of the sound, both Georgi and Seung-gil are standing in the doorway of their shared office room. It has already got dark outside.

“I have to finish my report, it will be ready in a minute,” Sara replies with a forced smile and hopes it’s enough to drive her colleagues away. Unfortunately, the men walk to her before she is able to close the word processor window.

“It seems so,” Seung-gil says sarcastically. “Why are you so wet?”

“I had to get lunch and forgot my umbrella. Now shoo, it’s not proper to stare at a lady in wet clothes.”

“Did something happen with Mrs Babicheva?”

Sara’s heart skips a beat. “H-how do you know about it?”

Georgi lets out a sigh and lowers to his knees next to her armchair. “Sara, we’re not stupid. We’ve noticed how you look at her. Please, tell us what has happened, it saddens me to see you feel so down.”

Sara moves her tablet to safety before replying quietly: “She told me she loved me and wanted to leave her husband for me. I turned her down.”

“That was the right thing to do in your situation,” Seung-gil says, “however, the experiment ends after next week and then you and she are able to do whatever you want.”

“No, we’re not. I said we could never become an item.”

“Oh…” Georgi says, raising his eyebrow worriedly. “May I ask why you did that?”

“When I was little and still lived in Naples,” Sara begins in a tiny voice, her eyes glued to the rainy scenery outside the window, “I found out my father was cheating on my mother with another woman. So I told my mother about what I had seen and started something that ended up in a messy divorce. In the end, neither my mother nor my father wanted to have me or my brother. When our mother saw us, she only remembered our traitor father and on the other hand, we reminded our father of the loss of both his wife and his lover. Finally our grandmother agreed on rising Mickey and me but I knew she hated me for breaking our family. As I grew up, I couldn’t help but wonder what might have happened if I had kept my mouth shut. What if it was just a simple crush that would have worn off quickly? If I had never said anything, would I still have a proper family?”

“It’s no good to dwell on the past,” Seung-gil says firmly. “Your parents would have separated at some point anyway, it wasn’t your fault. But I don’t understand what they have to do with your love for Mrs Babicheva.”

“Isn’t it obvious, I thought _you_ were supposed to be the smartest of us?” Sara spits angrily, tears flowing down her face. “I decided I should never destroy another relationship again and do my all to protect the love between couples. This is the right thing to do, I know that! But when I think of her becoming happily ever after with Aleksey, my heart feels like breaking… I-I don’t know how I can ever face them after what happened…”

Sara is unable to carry on further as the strong wave of sobbing weighs her down against her knees, being released as ugly sounds from her mouth. Distantly, she feels how someone wraps his arms around her, petting her wet locks gently. For the first time in years, she actually misses her brother who promised to always be there for her.

“Just cry as much as you like, we’re not going anywhere,” that someone says when Sara clings to him, her breathing growing more erratic every second. “It will get better, I promise.”

Sara doesn’t know whether that is true, but right now she doesn’t have any other choice but to desperately try to believe in it.


	11. The sweetest devotion I know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gathering all the courage he has, Yuuri opens his mouth, his gaze locked on the wall covered with ceramic tiles in front of him. “Um, Vitya, can we go to bed after this?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, we have finally entered the last week of the experiment and only have two chapters left before the whole thing is finished! *screams* But even though there’s not much left, the story is going on a short hiatus as I’m currently packing my bags and will go on a nice one-week trip to Amsterdam on Thursday! It’s kinda obvious that I will not do anything related to this fic while I’m enjoying my time abroad, but I’ll start working on the second-to-last chapter when I get back home. So if I stay healthy and will be able to avoid the worst writer’s blocks, the next update should happen in about two weeks.
> 
> Also, you might have noticed that the rating has changed and in this chapter I’ll finally redeem my promise of the eventual smut. In case you don’t wish to read it, I’ve marked the beginning of the scene with an “X” and the end of it with “XX”. So if you happen to read this on your computer and want to skip the smut, just hit ctrl + F and type the two x:s in it and you have happily passed it! With other devices, just scroll down a little bit.  
> As always, thank you for your support! ♥

“You two look like you’ve just returned from Dante’s hell.”

Yuuri smiles dryly at the comment, unable to decide whether he should be puzzled by the fact that a punk like Yuri Plisetsky knows the _Divine Comedy_ or amazed that he is capable of coming up with such witty and accurate metaphors. To be honest, he feels like having gone through hell, the return flight was not as well controlled as the one to Japan. After he and Viktor had happily got to Narita international airport, their supposed stop of two and a half hours had become three hours longer due to some engine problems. An experience like that naturally wasn’t good for their nerves, but they tried to face the hardship with a positive attitude, believing the bad karma would be left at Narita. Oh how wrong they were.

When they finally got on the plane, a couple of babies kept them awake most of the trip, their cries echoing in chorus even though they weren’t even seated close to each other. But the worst of all was yet to come, at O’Hare Yuuri was the only one to get his luggage, while Viktor’s bags had accidentally been delayed and got stuck at Narita. Without his favourite clothes and tons of souvenirs, his husband had been nothing but snappy at the poor help desk worker and when Yuuri tried to remind him that his luggage was safe and would be delivered to him the next afternoon, he became the target of his irritation. Fortunately they already made up in the car, but after such a day, Yuuri is more than ready to collapse on the bed and sleep for 12 hours.

“And you look like you have skinned some endangered animals,” Viktor blurts out, giving Yuri’s leopard prints a very judgmental look. Another victim of his tiredness.

“Your trip must have been very exhausting,” Otabek hurries when Yuri opens his mouth for an angry comeback. “I could make you some tea if you’d like. Or you could always go straight to bed, I’ve changed clean sheets for you.”

“Wonderful, you’re such a good boy, Otabek, way too good for our Yura,” Viktor yawns and leans down to hug Otabek like he had just been revealed to be an angel. “I’m going to sleep, good night to you two.”

Sighing, Yuuri follows how his husband slouches to the bedroom and falls on the bed with Makkachin. He is sure he is just as tired as Viktor, but it would be rude to leave the young couple alone without even saying thank you for their assistance. Smiling coyly, he turns back at Yuri and Otabek.

“I’m sorry about Viktor, we had a pretty rough trip back and he’s just so exhausted.”

“No need to apologize for that drama king, he’s always like that after long trips, I’m used to it,” Yuri spits. “I should feel sorry for _you_ , you had to tolerate that fucking baby all the way back home.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Yuuri hurries. No matter how annoying Viktor can be when irritated, he still doesn’t want to bad-mouth him. Yuri whistles at his reaction.

“Well shit, seems like you have some hella good nerves, that geezer should be darn happy to have you, Katsudon. Now go take care of him, Beka and I should leave for our hostel.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay here? I could make you a bed in the living room.”

“No thank you, we’re fine,” Otabek says. “We already booked the room anyway.”

“Are you going to stay in the city for long?” Yuuri asks as the couple start to put on their jackets, both black and made of leather, making them look like teenage criminals in love.

“Nah, we’re planning to go camping somewhere by Lake Michigan before we travel back to Russia and Kazakhstan next week,” Yuri replies and flashes a challenging smirk at him. “But if you want to prove your cooking skills, we could make one quick stop in Chicago before our departure.”

Yuuri smiles at him in return. “That’s settled then.”

After saying goodbye to Yuri and Otabek, Yuuri drags himself to the bathroom and strips to his underwear, sneering at his sweaty body. A shower is out of a question at his state, though, since brushing his teeth almost turns out to be an impossible task. Quietly, he sneaks into the bedroom, trying to get on his side of the bed as carefully as possible. Viktor wraps his arms around him almost instantly.

“You’re still awake?” Yuuri asks when his husband nestles against him. He is sure the night is going to become sweaty at some point, being squeezed by a man whose body heat is close to a radiator and having his legs crushed by a heavy dog. But right now, he couldn’t care less about the consequences.

“Mmh, I was waiting for you,” Viktor murmurs against his skin. “I was getting lonely and started to feel bad about acting up to you earlier.”

“You already said you’re sorry, remember?” Yuuri says gently. “And I accepted your apology. No hard feelings, okay? Let’s just sleep until noon.”

Viktor kisses his hair though Yuuri is sure his locks couldn’t be dirtier. “You’re so sweet, my Yuuri. I’m so blessed to have a husband like you.”

 

 

***

”Before we finish our last meeting, I was thinking we could do a little hugging exercise. It’s very simple but also efficient – all you have to do is to stand up and hug each other for a while.”

“Oh, I like this one,” Viktor says and flashes a wide smile at Sara who is sitting opposite to them. “Every reason to hug my Yuuri sounds perfect.”

As much as Yuuri likes and respects Sara, he can’t help but question the necessity of such exercise. During the experiment, he has grown to love Viktor’s hugs, the way his body warmth spreads around him, the way his natural scent fills his senses. But to him, hugs between lovers are somewhat private, at least private enough not to be shared with hundreds of thousands of Americans sitting on their sofas and criticizing his awkward posture. On the other hand, deckling the command would earn him a reputation of a douche, which would be even worse. Slowly, Yuuri rises to his feet and steps into his husband’s arms.

“It’s alright, darling, don’t think about the camera,” Viktor whispers into his ear, quietly enough so that no one else is able to hear him. “Let’s just concentrate on us, okay?”

Yuuri replies by nuzzling better against Viktor and presses his face against his shoulder, when he closes his eyes he is capable of forgetting the space, forgetting the ones present. In the darkness there is only Viktor, soft and secure Viktor whose hands gently caress his back. On second thought, he doesn’t feel like sitting back in his armchair anymore.

“That was beautiful,” Sara says when they finally let go of each other, their fingers still entwined. “Yuuri, I couldn’t help but notice that you seemed a little nervous when I asked you to perform the exercise, but you really got more relaxed in Viktor’s embrace after a while. Tell me, how did it feel to be hugged by Viktor, even though it was all of a sudden and more like a request than your own will?”

“It felt nice,” Yuuri says truthfully. “Being with Viktor feels safe. I guess he has that sort of an effect on me, to calm me down when it’s hard for me.”

“Okay. How about you, Viktor? How did it feel to you?”

“Very good,” Viktor replies, beaming like the brightest star of the universe. “Holding my Yuuri feels better than everything in the world. He is just so soft, so warm and were he not my husband, I would tell everyone to try embracing him because it just feels so good. And if I could decide, I would love to hold him all the time.”

Even at this point, Yuuri can’t help but flush at his husband’s overflowing praise. But at least he has learnt to snort at them and shake his head lovingly instead of freezing up.

“That sounds lovely, you two really have grown comfortable with each other – just look back at the wedding,” Sara says with a light giggle, but for some reason, the laugh sounds a little forced. “I can see your relationship is blooming nicely which leaves us with one question. What do you think, how can you keep maintaining the healthy relationship you have?”

“I think the most important thing is to remember to communicate,” Viktor replies for both of them. “We learnt it the hard way, after all, but fortunately we’re getting better and better at it.”

“Wonderful, you really did listen to me back then!” Sara says. “Communication is the thing I always emphasize when discussing healthy relationships and even though some people think it’s obvious to talk about your feelings to your partner, it’s sometimes easier said than done. But it’s good that you are aware of it, keep that in mind and I’m sure you’re able to face any challenge life brings to your path.”

The filming ends to her final words, marking the ending of their obligatory appointments with the experts. Viktor rushes to exchange a few words with Dan, while Yuuri is given a chance to observe Sara a little more. It’s becoming clear he didn’t imagine her earlier reaction, the eagerness much lamer than usually. Now that Yuuri looks at her, he can spot lots of details that are different about her, insignificant alone but notable when added together. There’s something off about the way she sits, her body language pushing others away instead of welcoming them close. And even though her appearance is flawless like always, Sara doesn’t seem to appreciate the effort at all. Her eyes have lost their joyful gleam, the happiness buried somewhere under thick dark curtains that have not left any kind of an opening for light.

Yuuri clears his throat, his pulse quickening. He is not very good at making first moves when it comes to comforting others, especially those who belong somewhere between acquaintances and friends, but he can’t pass this without saying anything. Not when she looks like this. “Um, Sara? I don’t want to intrude or anything, but you seem a little… tired. Are you okay?”

As Sara turns her gaze to him, Yuuri can see something glint in her eyes, something that disappears as quickly as she forces a smile on her face. “Thank you for worrying, but I’m fine. I’ve just been working so much lately, you can only imagine how draining it is to work as an expert in the show: lots of meetings and paperwork and stuff like that. Luckily the experiment is coming to its end and I will soon go back to the life of an ordinary university student. But before that, I really need a proper vacation. At least my paycheck will be okay, so that dream might actually become reality.”

“Do you think she was telling the truth earlier?” Yuuri asks some ten minutes later when he is walking back to Viktor’s car with him. Although Sara claimed she was okay, he can’t shake off the feeling she is desperately trying to hide something painful. The reaction is more than familiar to him; just how many times has he used the same excuse when wanting not to bother others with his pathetic troubles that are strong enough to break his heart?

“I don’t know, but can you really blame her for acting like that?” Viktor states. “Even though we were not filming at the moment, she still serves as a relationship counsellor to us as long as the experiment goes on. It might have felt awkward for her to start telling us about her problems when she is supposed to be the one to help us with our own.”

Viktor does have a point; if Yuuri were in the same situation as Sara, he would most likely have said the exact same thing. Still, that doesn’t mean he can abandon the melancholy in a flash.

Yuuri startles a little when his husband takes his hand and guides it gently to his lips.

“Cheer up, darling. You’re so kind to care, but you must not carry the problems of others as your own, it’s not healthy in long term. Sara is a strong woman and will definitely solve her issues,” Viktor says in a way that is enough to convince Yuuri to believe in the positive outcome. “By the way, I just realized the experiment is coming to its end and we still haven’t tried my _banya,_ the sauna, together. So what do you say, shall we try it on Saturday?”

“I don’t mind if you want to bathe in the sauna, but honestly, I’d rather pass,” Yuuri says. They also have a small sauna in Yu-topia, but if he remembers correctly, no one really uses it. He once tried it as a child, encouraged by his father, but the heat was so suffocating he never wanted to lay his feet inside that burning hell ever again. Viktor simply laughs when he tells him that.

“That was years ago, honey. Besides, young children are not always that fond of it but grow to like it as they get older. I’m sure your opinion would change if you gave it a second try. Please, my darling, do it for me?”

Yuuri groans at him, he remembers that Chris claimed puppy eyes would work well against Viktor but he said nothing about the fact that his husband is also very capable of using the same trick against him. “Fine, you won, let’s try it out. But I’m sure it will be just as bad as the last time.”

 

 

***

If Seung-gil had the power to decide, he would rather spend his time interacting with dogs than with people. Out of these two species, dogs act in a more reasonable and logical way – unlike humans, they are always honest about their feelings. Dogs are unable to lie, unable to hide their inner desires. But no matter how disinterested he acts around other people, someone will always come to him. And this time, Seung-gil has voluntarily come to one of them.

The woman sitting opposite to them, Mila Babicheva, gives them a very suspicious look. It’s clear she hasn’t been getting enough sleep lately, for those dark circles under her eyes look unfamiliar on her face and she hasn’t been as careful with doing her make-up as she usually is. The Irish coffee in front of her still remains untouched, the heat of the drink slowly wearing off. If she doesn’t sip her drink soon, Seung-gil might grip the glass and drag it to his side of the table. Seeing someone waste food belongs to the constantly lengthening list of the things that irritate him the most about his fellow creatures.

“I thought I’ve been through all my obligatory sessions with you relationship experts,” Mila says, her tone indicating she doesn’t want to sit with them in the very back of the busy coffee house in the heart of Manhattan. Still, she didn’t refuse their offer of a spontaneous meeting in the first place, which probably means she is just using them as someone towards whom she can project her darkened emotions.

“You’re right about it, madam, but actually we have not arrived here on behalf of _Married at First Sight_ today,” Georgi hurries politely. “Right now, we are merely representing ourselves – two ordinary men who wish to have a little chat with you. So what we discuss here will be absolutely non-official and will have nothing to do with actual filming.”

Mila raises her eyebrow and to Seung-gil’s inner delight, finally takes a sip of her drink. “Very well, what do you want to talk about with me?”

“I think you know why we invited you here,” Seung-gil says quietly and takes a quick glance of their surroundings to make sure no unwanted listeners are nearby. “It’s about our colleague, Sara.”

For a fraction of a second, Seung-gil can see something gleam in her eyes, something that is a mixture of sadness and anger. The grip around her glass becomes slightly tighter regardless of the smile that tries to stretch the corners of her lips upwards.

“I’m terribly sorry, but I don’t I think I can help you with anything related to her. If you excuse me, my husband is waiting for me…”

“A husband you don’t love,” Seung-gil says stoically, making her stop in the middle of her attempt of rising to her feet. “And whom you would leave anytime for our female colleague. No need to hide it from us, we know everything.”

“Why are you doing this?” Mila hisses, her voice breaking like it was warning them of upcoming tears. “Don’t you care a bit about _my_ feelings; about how much it hurts when I’m forced to do anything related to her? Did you come to lecture me, too, to tell me how stupid I am for falling for her? To tell me I’m a bad woman for wanting to get rid of my husband?”

“Of course not, I’m sorry if it seemed like it,” Georgi says in a calm voice. “Please, don’t go. We only want to help you, will you at least listen to what we have to say? Then you can do whatever you’d like.”

Mila bites her lip as though she is desperately trying to keep some words inside of her mouth. To their relief though, she sits back on her seat. A small but important victory on their side.

“Now, you need to understand why Sara rejected you,” Georgi says slowly, trying to shape his words into their most careful forms without losing their meaning. “We are currently filming the show and she is one of the experts of this season – if she had accepted your offer, it would have put her in a very unpleasant situation that might have affected her future career. But she would not have been the only one, can you imagine how people would have reacted if you had left your husband for someone else before the season finale? People on the internet are crueller than in any other environment, you might have become a target of online harassment. Sara wanted to protect you from such a fate.”

On the next blink, Seung-gil can see the headlines before his eyes, all from trashy tabloids with colourful and blurry pictures, with writing that is far from objective as it reveals the rumour-loving disapproval of its author. And of course, the comment section, the worst of them all where ordinary people start acting like beasts that want to maul their victims to death with their venomous words. Mila seems to realize it too, at least judging from the way her face loses its earlier flush and becomes something closer to that of a ghost. With a deep exhalation, she turns her head towards Georgi, eyebrows knitted for a question.

“But… why did she say we could never become an item after this has ended?”

“Because she’s a sentimental fool who is obsessed in doing things that seem correct in the eyes of society,” Seung-gil says flatly, his voice thinning a little when a memory of her breakdown hits him in the chest. He has never been good at dealing with emotional people to whom both happiness and sorrow seem greater than any force in the world. Still, he doesn’t remember when he has felt as helpless as when he was forced to witness Sara’s heartbreak.  “Even if it would cost her own happiness and her love for you.”

The Irish coffee is almost spilled on the table; Mila has accidentally hit it when she leaned closer to them, the look on her face desperate like she was afraid they were playing a really bad joke on her.

“So she really loves me?” she whispers. “Even though she said otherwise, she loves me?”

“Of course she loves you,” Seung-gil groans, moving his own coffee to a safer place in his lap, “you’re quite stupid if you really thought she was telling the truth back then.”

“What my dear colleague means,” Georgi says loudly and gives him a very strict look before carrying on his speech, “is that you and her have all the possibilities to become a happy couple _after_ you and your husband have divorced. And that he is sure she will not turn you down anymore if you tell her about your feelings after the filming has ended.”

“I don’t understand,” Mila says, a hint of laughter in her voice, although a couple of warm drops have started to roll on her cheeks. “Isn’t it your job to try to keep married couples together, not to help them separate?”

“Only those couples whose marriages truly work and are able to evolve into something better,” Seung-gil says. “Also, Sara happens to be our friend, so we might be a bit subjective with your case.”

 

 

***

Sometimes it’s more than healthy to try new things and give second chances to things that weren’t qualified on the first try. Sometimes, though, first impressions never change no matter how different the current situation may be. To Yuuri, saunas will always be something he can never learn to enjoy.

A new scoop of water hits the stove, sending more steam into the air, and Yuuri leans down against his knees, desperately trying to save himself from another strike of death. Although he is sitting on a small towel, he can still feel the warmth of the bench fondle his butt in a very unpleasant way. Yuuri should have listened to his reason when it tried to warn him about the experience; he is sure that being in a sauna wasn’t even this bad when he was a child. Even though he should be used to the heat, having spent much of his free time in a hot spring and grown up on an island with hot and humid summers, he can’t really benefit from them. Being locked inside a small, closed space where the hot air surrounds him from every angle is a different story. In Yuuri’s opinion, it feels more like Satan himself has dragged him in his living room and sat him on a sofa that burns his skin through its fabric. He doesn’t dare to check the thermometer that is set on the wall next to him. Knowing the temperature would definitely make it harder to endure.

“Feeling relaxed, darling?” Viktor asks, beaming at him. He seems unaffected by the heat, sitting up straight with his back pressed against wooden wall behind him. Yuuri can’t even get conscious about seeing his husband in all his naked glory, he is way too concentrated on trying to stay alive instead of being burned alive.

“No,” Yuuri replies shakily, “if it’s possible, could you please not throw so much water on the stove?”

“Sure, sorry baby, I didn’t realize it was too much,” Viktor says and stretches his arms up where the air feels most like being close to the sun. Yuuri genuinely feels bad in his stomach when witnessing his husband voluntarily roast himself.

“Of course you didn’t realize it, you’re a Russian, after all, and this is so much more natural to you than for me.”

“Enjoying _banya_ has nothing to do with one’s ethnicity,” Viktor corrects him with a light chuckle. “I just happen to be used to it. Besides, not every Russian likes being in a sauna – if I remember correctly, Yura is not very fond of _banyas_. It’s bad for his skin, you see. But our dear Georgi is quite another story: when we still were rink mates, we used to go to _banya_ after practice. You should have seen us, we had those funny looking hats and everything.”

“Hats?”  Yuuri asks confusedly, he doesn’t remember wearing any sort of a hat when he tried sauna as a child. It also sounds a bit weird to wear hats in a place where being naked is absolute.

“Yeah, in Russia we tend to wear special hats when going to sauna, to protect our heads from the heat,” Viktor explains. “They look a bit dumb, but they are actually very handy. I just haven’t remembered to order new ones here.”

Right now Yuuri couldn’t care less whether those hats look stupid or not, but cries internally about the fact that such clothing might have saved his life if his husband wasn’t so forgetful.

“But I can see why saunas aren’t a big thing in Japan,” Viktor continues, “at least Kyushu is pretty warm all year long, while winters in northern Europe are a different case. But relaxing and warming up are not the only reasons why some people enjoy _banyas_ so much – some claim that regular baths in the sauna are actually quite healthy for you. And our crazy neighbours even used to hold world sauna championships but that tradition ended almost 10 years ago.”

“Pray tell me why,” Yuuri mutters, “maybe people realized how idiotic it is to compete about something like that.”

“That might be true,” Viktor says without missing a beat, “one contestant died in the final that year.”

Yuuri raises his head and gives his husband a very horrified look. “Please don’t joke about something like that…”

“I’m not joking,” Viktor replies and Yuuri can tell he is not lying. “A Finnish and a Russian man were competing against each other, but something went wrong and people had to drag them out. My fellow citizen died of pretty intense burns, but no need to worry, darling,” he adds in a lighter tone, “I would never heat up our sauna to such temperatures!”

Yuuri’s brain is unable to focus on his husband’s words for all it can think of is the sight of two men lying on the ground in their swimming trunks, their bodies coloured red and giving off smoke. Swallowing, he rises to his feet and takes a shaky step towards the door.

“I think I need to shower now…”

“Okay, baby, I’ll come with you,” Viktor says. “I’ll just turn off the stove first.”

Yuuri doesn’t stay to wait for him, he has had enough of the heat and is ready to sprint to the shower. He lets out a sigh when the first drops of water hit his skin, cooling it down, saving him. He doesn’t even startle when a pair of hands gently touch his shoulders a few moments later.

“Can I wash your hair, beautiful?” Viktor asks, voice low and soft.

Yuuri simply nods in return, silently watching how his husband reaches for the shampoo and pours it in his hand before starting to massage his head. His shoulders drop instantly, the last marks of tension swept away. Yuuri closes his eyes contently, he had no idea it would feel this good, his hair being washed by someone else, someone with very soft strokes. He can’t even think of it as something sexual, it’s purely domestic, an act of unconditional love. He has never felt this natural when being naked around his husband, so natural he might not actually mind staying like this even after finishing the shower.

Gathering all the courage he has, Yuuri opens his mouth, his gaze locked on the wall covered with ceramic tiles in front of him. “Um, Vitya, can we go to bed after this?”

“Sure, love,” Viktor hums, his fingers gently brushing through Yuuri’s wet locks. “You must be tired, _banyas_ really have the effect. But don’t forget to drink something first – you have sweated a lot, so it’s important to stay hydrated.”

“Actually, I wasn’t thinking about going to sleep yet…”

The massaging stops on the same heartbeat and Yuuri glances worriedly behind his shoulder. Viktor stares at something he is unable to see, eyes glazed like a witch just put a spell on him. Yuuri almost wants to swing his hand before his face to see if his husband is still functioning.

“Vitya?”

The name somehow makes Viktor snap out of his state. The emotionless look is replaced with a slight pink shade that has seized his cheeks.

“So, please correct me if I misunderstood, darling,” Viktor says slowly, “but did you just indicate that you want to have sex with me?”

“Yeah, I guess…” Yuuri replies awkwardly. “If it’s okay with you, that is. But it’s not a big deal, if you don’t feel like it then…”

Before he gets to finish his sentence, Viktor has gripped his shoulders and turned him around, crashing against his lips. Yuuri’s back hits the cold wall behind him, probably with a bit more strength that Viktor planned to use, but he is unable to feel pain. All he can think of at the moment is the sound of his own heart echoing in the back of his head and the ball of warmth inside his stomach that is becoming more and more of a burning force.

Viktor pulls away slowly, his eyes so desperate that Yuuri forgets how to breathe for a few seconds.

“Please, Yuuri, I’d like that very, very much,” his husband whispers hoarsely, leaning a bit down to meet his gaze better. “I’ll just wash my hair really fast, okay? Go wait for me in the bedroom and take the condoms and lube ready for me, there should be some in my drawer next to the bed. And drink some water first, will you?”

“Yeah… okay…” Yuuri mumbles, cursing his own inability to deliver anything more complicated right now. His body couldn’t care less about the words, though, it has started to get ready for the fact that the wet dreams of his idol might soon become reality.

 

 

X

“A watched pot never boils” – that was one of the first idioms Yuuri learnt when he first got in the States, a line that was tossed at him when he was constantly checking his phone for the announcement of the Grand Prix assignments. In his nervous state, Yuuri naturally had no idea what a pot had to do with his phone, so Celestino had to explain the meaning of his words to him, probably twice to get through the anxious mist that had covered his thoughts. After that, he tried to add the idiom among dozens of maxims that he tried to follow to keep his life a little steadier. Still, it’s not always easy to believe the words of people wiser than him. Yuuri has changed his position on the bed so many times that he has lost count, questioned the choice of his underwear every five seconds. Even though he hasn’t sat there for longer than a couple of minutes, it’s slowly starting to feel like Viktor is never getting out of the shower.

Yuuri startles a little at the sound of the bathroom door, followed by soft Russian murmuring, most likely directed at Makkachin. Usually, they keep the bedroom door open at night in case the dog decides to abandon his bed in the living room and curl up at the foot of the bed. This time, Viktor closes it carefully behind him, his gaze so intense Yuuri almost wants to turn his eyes away. The towel is hanging around his hips and his moist locks almost seem to glow in the dim light. Yuuri gulps unconsciously when his husband climbs to the bed opposite to him.

Even though the thumping sound that rings out in every corner of his body has gained most of Yuuri’s attention, he can tell he is not the only nervous one present. Viktor’s face is slightly flushed, his eyes half-lidded as his gaze wanders on Yuuri’s body. After a moment that feels more like eternity, his husband meets his eyes with a coy smile.

”Hi.”

“Hi,” Yuuri replies and gives out a little laugh at the weirdness of the situation. Although they have grown to be comfortable around each other, this moment feels more like something that is shared by teenagers who have fallen in love for the first time, not by a married couple. Viktor seems to realize it, too, as he snorts before taking Yuuri’s hands in his own.

“I told you that I’m always nervous around you, remember?” he asks gently. “But darling, are you absolutely sure that you want to do this? Because I don’t mind if you feel otherwise.”

“I’m sure,” Yuuri assures, strengthening his words with a little smile. “I want you, Vitenka. All of you.”

If Yuuri had known a mere name would make so much damage, he would have picked his words better. His lungs almost lose all their oxygen when Viktor pulls him into a tight hug, face pressed against Yuuri’s shoulder. His muffled words blow tiny warm clouds against his bare skin:

“I want you too, my love, more than you can imagine. But remember – if you start to feel uncomfortable at any point, at any point at all, tell me and we’ll stop, okay? You don’t need to be afraid that I would be disappointed in you, I never could.”

“Okay,” Yuuri murmurs back, “thank you.”

“There’s no reason to thank me for it, baby,” Viktor says and withdraws a little so that he can cup Yuuri’s face. “It should be common knowledge to listen to your partner and respect their boundaries. Like in every relationship, communication is the most important part in bedroom as well. So if you have anything you feel nervous about, please, tell me.”

“I’m just a bit afraid that I won’t be good at it,” Yuuri says. If masturbation counts, he is not a complete novice, but it’s so different to give pleasure to someone else, someone with different preferences and different ways of doing it. On one hand, Viktor has never complained about his way of kissing him or fondling him, but on the other, he might just have been nice.

“Yuuri, if you haven’t done it before, it’s normal to feel that way,” Viktor says, crushing Yuuri’s lurking anxiety before it can find a way to start to spread to his body. “Nobody is perfect at it on their first try, I don’t assume you to be. But also, I don’t believe you’ll be bad at it – if only you knew how happy you have made me during these weeks. Let’s just concentrate on finding out what feels good to you and I’m sure it will also make me feel good. Will you let me take care of you, my beautiful husband?”

“Yeah, but not exclusively,” Yuuri says, “because I want to take care of you as well.”

“Alright, baby,” Viktor replies and leans closer to him, so close Yuuri can feel his warm breath against his lips. “You really are the best.”

As Viktor presses his lips against his own, Yuuri feels how the remains of any stiffness leave his body, the constant need for self-control going somewhere he can’t reach it. He wraps his arms around Viktor’s neck and slips his fingers in his hair, opening his mouth a little to let his husband in. Breathy moans escape his lips as Viktor deepens the kiss, his touch so well controlled Yuuri feels like melting in his arms, marking everything unrelated to Viktor unimportant. He shivers in pleasure when Viktor starts to slide his hand down his bare chest, the touch cool against his radiating skin. But when his fingers stop on the waistline of Yuuri’s boxer briefs, he grips his hand gently and moves it away.

Viktor pulls away, a slightly concerned look dancing across his face. “Not good?”

“In a minute,” Yuuri promises and leans in to kiss his jawline. “I just want to feel you a bit more first. Is that okay?”

“Of course, be my guest,” Viktor says and tilts his head a little to provide Yuuri better access to his neck. Slowly, Yuuri fills it with kisses, sucking the sensitive skin like his husband would do and judging from his quiet sighs, he is somehow succeeding in the task. He moves down on Viktor’s chest, his biggest guilty pleasure, the target of his husband’s permanent teasing. But Yuuri would be lying if he claimed he didn’t like it, didn’t like to run his hands on those muscles that are shamelessly highlighted under tight shirts. Encouraged by Viktor’s hands in his hair, Yuuri presses himself against his skin and circles his tongue around Viktor’s nipple before starting to suck it.

Viktor lets out a gasp and the grip in Yuuri’s locks tightens a little. “Yuuri… please, no more.”

“You don’t like it?” Yuuri asks worriedly, did he just step over the line now, did he make Viktor feel uncomfortable? Fortunately, his husband shakes his head and leans to kiss his forehead.

“Quite the opposite, baby, I like it a lot. But I’m also an old man who is crazy for you and if you continue teasing me like that, I might lose it before we get much further. Please, can I touch you again?”

“You’re not _that_ old, you know,” Yuuri says but lets Viktor push him on the mattress, pulling him on top of him in the movement. He wraps his legs around his husband’s torso to keep him close, their bodies pressed against each other as their tongues slide together again. The warm sensation has returned to his stomach, the temperature only rising.

“Yeah, but I’m older than you, so…” Viktor murmurs against his lips. “Seriously, where did you learn to do that? You’re not as innocent as you appear, my darling.”

“Nowhere, I’ve just fantasized about doing that to you,” Yuuri replies, the pleasure clouding his filter. It takes him two full seconds to realize his mistake, but before he hurries to start stuttering an apology, Viktor has uplifted his body a little, supporting it with his arms set on both sides of Yuuri’s head. A mischievous look dances across his face.

“Oh, so you have fantasized about me? Such a naughty boy you are,” he says in a low voice, its tone only making Yuuri’s pulse speed up. “Tell me, honey, what did _I_ do in those dirty little fantasies of yours? Did I possibly kiss you here?” Viktor asks before lowering himself again and brushing Yuuri’s stomach with his lips.

Yuuri slaps his hand on his lips to prevent the pathetic whimper from leaving his mouth. He has no idea how his husband came up with the right answer on the first try. “Y-yeah…”

“No need to keep your voice down, baby,” Viktor whispers sensually while he moves down Yuuri’s stomach, leaving kisses on his skin to mark his route. “Please, I want you to be vocal about your feelings.” He rises to his knees and lifts Yuuri’s left leg up, running his tongue on his foot. “How about this? Did I kiss you here?”

“N-no,” Yuuri says breathlessly, gripping the sheets to keep his hands occupied, “b-but I don’t mind you doing that…”

“Thank you for telling me, that’s the right spirit,” Viktor chuckles and swirls his tongue around Yuuri’s toes, one at a time. His smile only grows wider when Yuuri’s toes curl in pleasure. “You’re doing so great, my love.”

 “A-and you’re so… good… better than in any of my fantasies.”

“That makes me happy,” Viktor says as he leans down and begins his journey up towards Yuuri’s thigh. “It would have been no good if I had lost to myself. But see, baby, there’s a reason why I’ll always be better than any of your fantasies of me. With them, you have got used to similar scenarios while I, the real deal, am able to deliver surprises.”

Without warning, Viktor plants his lips on Yuuri’s throbbing cock and starts to suck the member through the wet fabric. Yuuri lets out a loud moan and throws his head back, the last control of his breathing lost for good. Of course, he has had fantasies of Viktor sucking him off, but in all of them he was naked, his clothes thrown on the floor when Viktor started to tease his erection with his mouth. He doesn’t dislike this, either, but at this point he is more than ready to get rid of his remaining underwear and have his husband naked on top of him.

“Ah… Vitya… t-take them off…”

Viktor grins at him in a satisfied manner, lust visible in his ocean-blue eyes. “I thought you’d never ask that, darling.”

Yuuri raises his hips a little to make Viktor’s task easier, his face becoming redder by degrees when his needy member is revealed to his husband. Viktor bites his lower lip and a breathy comment that doesn’t sound like English to Yuuri escapes to the air, disappearing somewhere among the countless moans and sighs that can only be heard when their ears decide to start teasing them with distant echoes that are able to make their bodies shiver. Wide-eyed, Yuuri follows how Viktor unwraps the towel and drops it off the bed, letting him appraise the sight in peace. Like everything about him, even his cock is beautiful, though Yuuri could never imagine admitting it out loud. Beautiful, big and all desperate for him.

“Do you want me to…” Viktor begins, but Yuuri cuts him off before he can finish he sentence.

“I want you inside me. Now.”

“Are you sure, baby?” Viktor asks, frowning at the sudden boldness of his words, and presses his body against Yuuri’s, brushing his cock with his own in a way that almost makes him pass out. “Because if you feel uncertain about it, there are plenty of other things I could do to you.”

“That sounds n-nice, but I really want to have you inside me, no, I-I need you there. I want to know if y-you’re better than those Viktors in my dreams…”

“Oh, you still doubt my abilities, do you now?” Viktor purrs in his ear and slips his hand between their stomachs, closing it around both of their cocks and stroking them once, leaving Yuuri a panting mess. “I guess I need to prove you otherwise, then. Just wait a little more, my love.”

Yuuri almost doesn’t want to let him go, his body has become dependent on Viktor, unable to survive when left alone. But luckily for him, the touch returns shortly, slicker than before, cool against his twitching hole. With a deep sigh, Yuuri closes his eyes when Viktor slips the first finger inside him, smiling into a kiss placed against his lips. He jerks a little when he feels Viktor’s finger start circling carefully round and round, preparing him for something bigger. It feels a little weird, being touched by someone else, but Yuuri doesn’t dislike it. For he knows Viktor will make sure he will not get hurt, keeping him calm with soft whispers to his ears, with hungry kisses against his lips, against his neck. And with a touch of his free hand reminding him of the fact his body is not forgotten. It feels like Viktor is everywhere on him, Yuuri has no idea how he does it. But that’s trivial right now, all that matters is that he can concentrate on giving himself to his husband, consent and satisfied.

“H-how do you feel, honey?” Viktor pants, his voice all husky. Yuuri can tell the painfulness of their erections is mutual.

“Ready,” Yuuri whispers, caressing his husband’s cheek gently before wrapping his arms around his neck.

“Is this position okay? Or would you rather turn to your stomach?”

“No, I want it like this,” Yuuri whispers and pulls him down for a kiss. “I… I want to see your face.”

“Perfect. Because I want to see yours too, my love.”

For a moment they are apart again, just long enough so that Viktor gets to slip the condom on, but a few heartbeats later their bodies meet again. The grip around Viktor’s neck tightens a little as he enters Yuuri slowly, softly asking for his permission before starting to move. Yuuri feels something break inside him with every thrust, with a quickening pace that invites him to grind his hips against Viktor’s own. His body is so full yet light, floating in a haze where all he can think about is Viktor, his lips hot against his shoulder, his erratic breathing resounding in his ear. It’s wrong to say that their relationship has become special now, since it has been special from the very beginning. But Yuuri can admit he has found a new side to his husband, to himself. With every push that brings them closer together, it becomes clearer that he might like sex more than he thought before.

“Yuuri… _Moyo solnyshko_ ,” Viktor breathes, his words melting against Yuuri’s flushed cheeks. “Y-you’re so good, so perfect. Haah… _Ya lyublyú tebyá móy malýsh_.”

Yuuri has no idea what that meant, but the way Viktor whispers Russian to him makes him all weak, ready to lose it all. It seems to have the same effect on his husband, at least judging from those heavy pants he must be close, too. And then he hits the right spot, hard enough to make Yuuri whine and cling to him like his life depends on it. He feels like he is falling through the bed somewhere deep, a wave of heat burying his body under it. Shivering, he rises his gaze to the ceiling. Never before have the lamps hanging from it looked so much like stars.

“Was I better?” Viktor murmurs against his shoulder, his pulse vibrating on Yuuri’s chest. “Better than in your dreams?”

Yuuri sinks his fingers in his hair and replies him with the softest voice he has to offer. “Yeah, so much better.”

For some reason, he feels like crying.

 

 

XX

Chicago never seems to fall asleep, even in the latest of hours something is shining in the city, keeping company to one of those people who are either forced to resist the temptation of their favourite piece of furniture or just happen to like staying up. Yuuri is leaning against the corner of the kitchen table and lets his eyes wonder aimlessly through the lit scenery. Every now and then his fingers find their way to his right hand, to the golden ring on his finger, the symbol of his five-week marriage. A sign of commitment that he needs to take off in less than 48 hours.

Brushing the ring cautiously, Yuuri thinks back on the absurd chain of events that he would never have believed to go through. Accidentally signing to _MAFS_ and more surprisingly, being actually picked on the show, being married to the Viktor Nikiforov. Waking up in his bed every morning, sharing dozens of kisses with him, both sweet and soft and those of sensual pleasure. Having his first time with the one he has been attracted to in more than one way, growing to love him even more than breathing. If somebody had claimed that Yuuri would experience all of this one day, he wouldn’t have believed them.

During his marriage, Yuuri has learnt that Viktor is so much different from his one-dimensional celebrity image. Sometimes he forgets to empty the dishwasher on his turn and is still a bit reckless when it comes to spending money. While his media face reflects nothing but coolness, the Viktor in his home environment practically climbs on the table when he spots an unidentified bug on his kitchen floor and forces Yuuri to act as his knight in a shining armour. At times, he is petty and slightly tiring with his clingy attitude. Yet Yuuri would never change him for someone else, even with his flaws Viktor is the best husband he could ever have. And that’s why he needs to let him go.

Although Yuuri is getting closer to his 26th birthday every day, he must admit there is still so much he doesn’t know about love. But one thing he knows for sure: love should never be selfish since it’s all about putting the needs of your significant other before your own. Phichit once said that he and Viktor live in different worlds and even though Yuuri has desperately tried to deny it, the weeks they have spent together have just shown how right his best friend was once again. Viktor’s world has been built so high up that Yuuri is unable to climb there and if Viktor ever left his own world, he would not be able to return and enjoy its pleasures again. Yuuri knows his husband has been forced to work hard to reach all that luxury and he has no heart to ask him to drop everything for a person like him. Viktor has been nothing but a good husband to him during their marriage, but he deserves so much more than Yuuri is able to give him. Someone stronger, someone more beautiful. Someone who doesn’t become anxious of the most trivial things and who is less insecure when it comes to stepping out of his comfort zone in bedroom. Whoever gets a man like Viktor will definitely be happy. Too bad Yuuri’s heart still doesn’t want to give him to anyone else even though his reason tells him otherwise.

A soft padding sound fills the void, thus becoming loud enough to drag Yuuri out of his tangled thoughts. He turns his head a little to catch a glimpse of his yawning husband shamble towards him. He has wrapped the blanket around his naked body, the cloth trailing after him as if it was a cloak of a superhero.

”Baby, why are you up? Is something wrong?”

”No, everything’s fine,” Yuuri assures him quickly. “I just couldn’t fall asleep so I came here to get some water.”

There is no glass in sight, but in his sleepy state, little lies like these are able to pass Viktor’s radar. His husband hums quietly and wraps his arms tightly around Yuuri’s torso, the warmth of his body radiating to Yuuri’s skin. He shivers a little when Viktor’s lips brush tenderly against his nape.

“Come back to bed, my darling,” Viktor whispers in his ear, the softness of his words almost making Yuuri burst into tears. “It’s so cold and lonely there without you.”

This time, anxiety is merciful. It has voluntarily returned to its prison, shutting the door behind its steps. It’s the best deal it has to offer, some extra hours before they run out for good. Sometimes even anxiety is able to feel sympathy for him for it knows how colourless his world is going to become when the experiment has ended. Yuuri thanks it with a tiny smile and places his hands on Viktor’s own.

“Yeah, let’s go back.”

Viktor leads him back to bed and nuzzles against his back the moment he has pulled the blanket over their bodies. His breathing tickles against Yuuri’s neck, the firm hold suffocating him. It takes a lot from Yuuri to keep his body steady against all his instincts that urge him to flee.

“Yuuri…” Viktor murmurs drowsily, ceasing Yuuri’s thoughts from preparing a proper escape plan.  “ _Moya zvezda… Ya khochu byt’s toboy vsegda._ ”

“Did you say something, Vitya?” Yuuri mutters back, staring at the shadows creeping up the naked wall before him. He is too afraid to turn his head and meet his husband’s gaze, he is not sure if he could keep himself together then anymore.

Luckily for him, Viktor simply mumbles some nonsense in a tired voice and squeezes Yuuri once before his breathing becomes slower, the rhythm more stable. Usually, Yuuri loves sleeping like this, feeling secure in his husband’s arms and knowing that he could always snuggle against him if any of those nasty dreams happened to find him and force him awake during small hours. This time, the embrace feels like too small a cage inside which it becomes hard to breathe. It only reminds him of the fact that he will never be held like this again.

His mouth opens without a command, but Yuuri closes it instantly, the words turning to ash on his tongue. Now is not a good time to talk about it, Viktor just fell asleep, it would be rude to wake him up. It’s okay to pretend everything will last forever just a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations for Russian:
> 
> Moyo solnyshko - My sun
> 
> Ya lyublyu´ tebya´ mo´y maly´sh - I love you my baby
> 
> Moya zvezda - My star
> 
> Ya khochu byt’s toboy vsegda - I want to be with you forever
> 
>  
> 
> A big shoutout to the lovely [all_those_big_ass_trees](http://archiveofourown.org/users/all_those_big_ass_trees) for helping me with Russian! Go check her work, they're amazing!


	12. My love was never gonna be enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re Viktor, right? You really are Viktor? I’m not dreaming, am I?” the boy slurred against his neck, at least his ex-date was right about him being completely wasted. Still, there was something extremely adorable about him, the way he nuzzled against him made Viktor almost lose it all. It felt more like he was the one dreaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dearies, I’m back with bright memories of a country I’m going to miss. Both Netherlands and Amsterdam were very beautiful places and once again something that I can definitely recommend visiting. I started working on the chapter almost immediately after getting back home but since karma’s a bitch (I don’t know what I’ve done, though), I had to go through yet another lovely block, which made writing this really annoying. *hollow laughter* It didn’t help the case at all that this ended up becoming a hella long chapter, but in the end, I managed to finish it anyway, so yay! But never mind me, we’re already on the second-to-last chapter, so before you jump to reading, let me say two more things really quickly:
> 
> First, I love happy endings more than anything. And secondly, I’m sorry for the pain.

When Viktor applied for _Married at First Sight_ months ago, he never imagined his life would become this perfect. A prince charming was what he was looking for, but he got something even better. His sun that fills him with its warmth, his god medal that is more valuable than any of those he has ever won, his love and life: Yuuri.

Grinning, Viktor turns to his left side and lets his fingers trace the spot where Yuuri was sleeping just a little while ago. There is still some of his warmth left, Viktor can feel it on his cheeks when he presses his face against the mattress. With a deep inhale, he fills his nose with the mesmerizing scent of his husband that has stuck on every object he has touched in their home. His pulse reacts to it by speeding up its pace, it has also returned to the sweet memory of last night – their first time together.

Objectively speaking, Viktor has had better partners as far as technique is concerned, which is only realistic to admit since Yuuri is quite inexperienced with anything related to sex. However, a romantic he is, Viktor doesn’t want sex to be just an act to satisfy his needs. He wants to connect it to love, to feelings that are so much more complex than sexual urges. And what Yuuri lacks in skill at the moment (though Viktor has noticed his husband is a fast learner), he makes up for with the feelings Viktor yearns for. When they were married in front of the cameras, Viktor would never have dared to believe his husband would eventually be able to relax so much in his presence, to meet him without restraints. And god, just what he looked like when he came, Viktor would be willing to pay to see that expression again. His heart can’t help but burst with satisfaction since he knows no one else has seen his Yuuri in a state like that.

Naturally, Viktor had to share the news with Chris, although he kept the details strictly to himself. Chris, on the other hand, reminded him of his persuasion skills but promised to drop the subject for now and settled for congratulating him for getting laid. Telling the news to Yuri might have been a mistake, though (“Jesus fucking christ, too much information!!! And you dared to wake me up with your porn story?! Just fuck you!”), but Viktor doesn’t regret it – he wants as many people as possible to know how happy he is right now. There’s one more person with whom he wants to share the wonderful news, although this time he might censor the contents just a little. Even as a 29-year-old man, the idea of talking about your sex life with your father figure feels rather awkward.

Viktor rolls to his stomach and grips his phone from the nightstand. It doesn’t take long for Yakov to pick up, just like God, his former coach also rests on Sundays. But Yakov would have answered his call on any other day as well; no matter how hard he tries to hide it from others, it’s common knowledge that Viktor will most likely remain as his soft spot to the end of his life.

_“Vitya, it’s been a while since you called. Is everything okay?”_

“Yakov, I’m in love.”

The line goes silent for a moment.

_“…It seems I have missed something. Have you got divorced and found a new man by your side? I thought the experiment was supposed to end tomorrow.”_

“No, of course not, you silly old man,” Viktor replies cheerfully, although he is sure Yakov will once again yell at him for calling him “a silly old man”. “I’m talking about Yuuri!”

 _“I see,”_ Yakov grunts but doesn’t address his irritation in any other way. _“Apparently your marriage did start to bloom, even though it seemed most unlikely at the wedding.”_

“You have no idea,” Viktor says with a grin, his body heat rising instantly as his mind decides to return the image of Yuuri’s naked body to his retina, the sound of his soft moans to his ears. “Yuuri is the sweetest man I’ve ever met, he is so beautiful and kind. I’ve never felt this good with anyone.”

_“So I take it you’re going to stay together after the experiment has ended?”_

“Yes, _of course_ we are. Yuuri loves me, I love him and we’re going to be together forever.”

 _“People might still separate even if they love each other,”_ Yakov points out grumpily, at least he can talk from experience. _“Although you might not like it, it’s a fact that life isn’t a sugary fairy tale where everyone lives happily ever after with their princes and princesses. But some of us are lucky to get close to that naïve dream – however, they also need to work constantly to maintain their relationships, so don’t you ever forget that. Don’t take everything as granted or otherwise you might lose it all. Nevertheless, I’m happy for you and wish you will spend many happy years with that boy. You need to bring your husband to visit us in Russia at some point so that Lilia and I will get to know him better.”_

“Definitely,” Viktor promises. Russia is naturally a must on their travel list, but there are so many other places he wants to take Yuuri. Back to Barcelona to reminisce the start of their deepening love, to Rome to toss a coin into _Fontana di Trevi_ and wish their happiness will be everlasting. To the Bahamas to leave all their worries behind and recharge in the sun, to Japan to spend more time with Yuuri’s family, his second family. To Zanzibar to swim with dolphins, to Lapland to make love under the Northern Lights. Or they could also stay at home, curled on the sofa, easily distracted from the movie whenever one of them turned his head a little to leave a kiss on the other’s lips. Viktor is willing to go anywhere Yuuri wishes to go as long as they can be together.

Yakov surely couldn’t hear his thoughts but the way he coughs in his ear indicates his guess might have been close enough to truth.

_“Vitya, Lilia wants to say something to you. Wait a moment, I’ll give the phone to her.”_

Before Viktor can even greet Lilia, a clear voice pierces right through his ear. He had managed to forget she can be ten times more intimidating than Yakov if someone has become the object of her anger.

_“Viktor Vladimirovich Nikiforov! You’ve got some nerve, not calling us even once after the wedding!”_

Viktor is sure he will not be able to hear with his right ear for a fortnight. “I’m terribly sorry, dearest Lilia. I… I kind of forgot to do it, you know me, don’t you? Everything has been so busy now that Yuuri is around.”

 _“Don’t you sweet-talk to me, you should know by now it doesn’t work on me!”_ Lilia snaps and Viktor gives in, he has never won a single battle against her. _“But I might forgive you on one condition: by the next time we meet, I want you and your husband to present us our grandchild.”_

Viktor almost bursts to laughter, he definitely didn’t see such an absurd command coming.

“Lilia, please. Yuuri and I have been married for a month, we haven’t really talked about getting children or anything. I don’t even know if Yuuri wants to have kids.”

 _“Well, he better should!”_ Lilia huffs. _“Listen to me, Vitya, Yakov and I were unable to have children of our own, but at least we have you – Yura, on the other hand, is not someone I can have faith in in this matter. I never got to look after a little boy or girl no matter how I wished for it and now that you’re married, I actually might have received another chance. For your information, I’m not planning to die before I get a grandchild of my own, so I recommend you start talking to your husband about adoption as soon as possible.”_

“You’re still young, you know,” Viktor says gently and from the way Lilia snorts in his ear, he can tell a little smile has taken over her strict look. “I can’t promise you anything, but I’ll talk to Yuuri about it soon.”

_“Good. And remember, if you get a child, you have to teach him Russian, too. It would sadden me greatly if I couldn’t use my mother tongue with my grandchild.”_

“Of course. English, Russian and Japanese, our child would be a real polyglot. And naturally, you would teach them to cook traditional Russian food, am I right?”

_“Right you are, I’d like that very much. Now go back to your husband, I’m not getting a grandchild if you just lay around talking to me. Goodbye, Vitya.”_

Viktor ends the call and lays his phone back on the nightstand before starting to look for something to wear. He glances quickly at the clock on their bedroom’s wall, it’s been a while since Yuuri took Makkachin out, he should speed up if he wants to give his husband a perfect welcome by the time he returns. They need to do something special tomorrow to celebrate the end of the experiment and the start of their life together without cameras, maybe he could take Yuuri out to a fine restaurant. A gift would be nice as well, too bad Yuuri tends to get a little uncomfortable every time Viktor announces his desire to spoil him rotten. But maybe Yuuri would be more willing to accept the present if it was something for both of them, something that will last. Maybe they could have their rings engraved, Viktor once saw pictures of beautiful rings with matching snowflakes online. He can already see himself showing off the rings to Chris and Yuri.

But none of that will happen unless they get some breakfast first.

 

 

***

If a blizzard suddenly attacked Chicago, Yuuri would not be able to tell the difference. Even in the first rays of morning sun, surrounded by people in their summer clothes, he feels cold, his body unable to grip the warmth. The world around him has turned into a white mist through which every street looks just like the other. He wonders if people heading for a guillotine felt like this, too.

Needless to say, Yuuri didn’t sleep a wink last night, the evidence of it drawn clearly under his eyes. His mind was too busy going through possible outcomes of his confession, all of the routes receiving a bad ending at some point. His mind repeated conversations he hadn’t even had yet, the further he went on, the more insincere his own words started to sound in his ears. It was more difficult to pick words for Viktor, his husband was always a little unpredictable, didn’t act according to the manual. But when the hands of the wall clock finally landed on the numbers that allowed Yuuri to slip away from Viktor’s arms without suspicious questions, he had come up with a script to follow. Or that’s what he thought when stepping on the quiet street with Makkachin’s leash in his hand. Now that he is going back, fear has seized his mind.

Although Yuuri knew right from the start his story was supposed to have an ending like this, he never thought their last 24 hours together would be so draining. His heart is trying to question the decision it agreed on ages ago when negotiating with Yuuri’s reason about his future with Viktor. Yuuri wants to force it quiet, he can’t let it spoil everything now, it will only hurt both of them more if he continues pretending any longer. Still, he would rather flee when he pushes the key inside the lock of Viktor’s apartment and lets Makkachin dash inside before him.

Before Yuuri can even take his shoes off, Viktor has rushed to him in his deep-blue dressing gown, pulling him into a tight embrace that almost crushes his lungs. His body warmth is able to pierce through Yuuri’s jacket, the heat almost burning off Yuuri’s skin. Yuuri’s body refuses to listen to his orders and his arms hang weakly at his sides instead of returning the hug.

Viktor, though, doesn’t seem to care about his lukewarm response and squeezes Yuuri harder. “Yuuri, my angel, welcome home! I missed you so much!” his husband murmurs softly against his cheek, his hands gripping Yuuri’s own when he withdraws from the embrace. His whole face is glowing like that of a child who has just received the greatest Christmas present of his life. “Come darling, you must be hungry. I made us some pancakes for breakfast!”

Yuuri is unable to do anything but follow when Viktor drags him to the kitchen and sits him down on his side of the table, in front of his usual mug and a clean plate. A few seconds later, Viktor tips three golden-brown pancakes on it, all perfectly round and thick. Usually, Yuuri would be ready to wolf down such a meal immediately to gain a ticket to his personal food heaven, but now, staring at the food before him, he feels like his stomach could betray him any minute. In the background, he can hear Makkachin rattle around his bowl, the sound of which making his ears bleed.

“Vitya, I…”

“Please, dig in, I’m actually quite proud of the result!” Viktor interrupts him in a sing-song and brushes Yuuri’s shoulder as he drops the frying pan to the sink and replaces it with the coffee pot. “I assume you’d like to have some coffee, right? Oh, I almost forgot – do you want any syrup with the pancakes? I assure you they taste even more heavenly with it!”

“Viktor, please, listen to me for a minute!” Yuuri cries out, shocked at the volume of his own voice that sounds like a scream in his congested ears. The following words resemble a pathetic whisper in contrast to his previous exclamation. “I-I think we should talk a little about tomorrow…”

Viktor sits opposite to him and tilts his head a little to the left, his smile promising nothing but support. Though Yuuri has finally gained his attention, he doesn’t feel any calmer than before. “Are you feeling nervous about flying to New York and seeing the experts for one last time?” His husband asks and leans forward across the table, locking his fingers with Yuuri’s own.  “Darling, it will be okay, trust me. It’s just a routine appointment anyway, there’s no need to worry about it.”

Yuuri can’t take it anymore. Desperately, he wrenches his hand free from his husband’s grip and forces out the words he has carried on his tongue ever since last night.

“I… I think we should end this.”

Silence takes over the space the moment Yuuri presses his lips back together, its weight crushing his body under it. It continues for a few seconds that feel more like an eternity, only to be interrupted by a sound so easy to be missed. Tiny drops of water breaking when falling against the glassy surface of the kitchen table, the sound distantly resembling that of increasing rain. Blinking, Yuuri raises his gaze to find the source of it and feels his heart stop at the sight before him. Never before has he seen Viktor cry; the whole idea of him sobbing feels so unnatural, for Viktor has always been the stronger of them two, the one to comfort, the one unknown to melancholia. It feels even worse since Yuuri knows he is the reason for those tears.

“I-I don’t understand…” Viktor says hoarsely, desperate to keep his voice under control. “Why would you say that now? Yuuri, I love you…”

Even in a situation like this, those three words are able to light a flame inside Yuuri’s heart. “I didn’t know that…”

Viktor’s body freezes like that of a predator who is getting ready to attack his pray. In a few seconds, a whole new expression has taken over his face, a massive wave of irritation Yuuri didn’t see coming.

“What do you mean you didn’t know that?” Viktor asks in a loud voice. “How could you possibly not know that?”

“…You never told me.”

“Of course I did!” Viktor yells, the outburst so sudden that Yuuri jumps a little further from him, his heart hammering panicky against his chest to escape from its cage. Makkachin dashes away from the room, kicking his bowl over in the movement. “With every kiss I left on your lips, with every embrace I shared with you! Twice last night, in the language that feels most sincere in my mouth! I admit that my confessions of love may have not been the most verbal ones, but I thought it was obvious how much I care for you! And I thought you loved me back… But it seems I misunderstood.”

The first crack has already appeared in Yuuri’s heart, its branches spreading all across it. He needs to sink his teeth into his lower lip to distract himself from the pain. “Don’t say that. I could search the whole world, nobody is better than you…”

“Then why, Yuuri, does it not feel that way to me? If you claim to care about me that much, why do you want to get rid of me so bad?”

An unidentified lump has got stuck in Yuuri’s throat, he needs to use a lot of force to swallow it down to his stomach. Anxiety has started to draw closer to him, it has already got half of his body free behind its bars. This is definitely not going how he planned, instead of achieving consensus, every new word he produces seems to take them closer to a catastrophe. But silence wouldn’t do any better, if he keeps quiet, Viktor will never be able to understand him. Yuuri needs to be more careful when explaining his reasons to him, he doesn’t want to hurt him again.

“It’s what we agreed on, remember?” he says much more weakly than he initially planned to. “To be married for five weeks.”

“Yeah, but it was back then! I thought it was obvious after our honeymoon that our relationship wasn’t limited!” Viktor shouts back at him, Yuuri’s attempt to convince him is not getting any better. Pathetically, he tries to get ready for another outburst, but to his confusion, the yell has died on Viktor’s tongue. His whole posture has stiffened like he had just realized something, something that would make the situation even worse. When his lips part again, the words are dripping venom so strong Yuuri feels like suffocating.

“So, this means that all this time you’ve known you’re going to leave me after the experiment has ended and yet you never said a word about it? Faked that everything was fine, faked you were ready to settle down with me… I never thought you’d be such a cruel man, Yuuri.”

“I’m not cruel!” Yuuri cries desperately. “I’m only thinking what’s best for you, please, you have to believe me! The world is full of options for you, full of so many people that deserve you more than I do. It would be unfair to prevent you from reaching for them.”

“You’re not thinking what’s best for me, you’re just trying to decide my future for me without bothering to ask how I feel about it!” Viktor yells again, every last glimmer of love disappeared from his eyes. “You’re not only cruel but also selfish, just like my parents were!”

Yuuri feels like he has just been slapped in the face. His body has started to shiver harder, another warning sign. A sign telling him he is more likely to destroy everything than be able to fix it. Still, he tries once more, this time reaching towards him, trying to comfort him. “I’m not like them, Vitya. I never wanted to hurt you…”

Viktor slaps his hand away.

“Don’t call me that!” he hisses, shooting a very spiteful glare at Yuuri as though he was facing a disgusting bug he wants to crush. “And you know what, you did that anyway, much worse than they ever did. So why don’t you make it a little easier for me and leave straight away if you want it so bad?”

On that moment, Yuuri’s lungs forget the one and only job they should take care of and his heart breaks into pieces so little nothing could be able to glue them back together. The pain fills his eyes with boiling water, but Yuuri doesn’t want to cry, not in front of Viktor. After all the pain he caused him, he has no right to shed a tear before his eyes. But Yuuri is not strong enough to hold his emotions back for long, every passing second with Viktor makes it harder to breathe, harder to exist. That’s why he rises up to his feet, not because he wants to respect Viktor’s wishes but because he simply is nothing but a coward.

Through the burning haze, Yuuri can see something new gleam in Viktor’s eyes, a tiny glint of desperation in the middle of the anger. Never before has his voice sounded so small.

“Yuuri… I-I didn’t mean it…”

_Yes, you did._

Without looking back, Yuuri walks to the hall, his body heavy like he was never meant to be able to carry it. His hands tremble uncontrollably when he grabs his jacket from the coat rack, its pockets containing all he needs to survive. At the door he stops for a minute, to reconsider, to wait for something that never comes. Instead, his eyes find their way to his right hand, on the golden ring that rests against his skin. The mark of his devotion to Viktor, the sign of commitment Yuuri didn’t even dare to dream of after passing the phase of childish innocence. All in all, the five weeks he has spent as Viktor’s husband has been something he could describe as a dream. But like all dreams, this one needs to end at some point as well. And the quicker the awakening is, the less it will hurt to realize the sweet tenderness never lasts forever.

The ring slips past the stool, rolling somewhere out of his sight, but Yuuri doesn’t try to look for it. Lips pressed tightly together, he opens the door and steps out of Viktor’s apartment. In the silence of the corridor, he finally dares to cry.

 

 

***

_The air was filled with glowing rays, all the colours of a palette present. The heat had risen to the ceiling, loud cheers bouncing off the walls to the ears of anyone present. Voices of a group of friends who tried to tempt their most timid member to empty the glass filled with the most suspicious-looking liquid, voices of people who tried to find new company or get rid of the unwanted one. Everyone here carried a different story but one thing connected them all: for a reason or another, they all had arrived at the same club to celebrate the last hours of the year and welcome the new one. Leaning on his palm, Viktor took a sip of his drink and let his eyes move from a dancing couple to another. Although he was surrounded by people, he had never felt this lonely._

_“Like this place?” the man opposite to him asked, Viktor had already forgotten his name. His face was just as forgettable, generally good-looking, sure, but Viktor had met dozens of blue-eyed and blonde Caucasians before. This one also seemed to belong to the group he despised the most, among all the other fuckboys. It was clearly written in his aura, his only desire to be able to sleep with him, a celebrity. And yet Viktor had clung to him, yet he knew he would spend the night with this man. For what choice did he have left anyway? Makkachin was spending New Year’s Eve with Viktor’s usual dog-sitter neighbour, he had been an idiot to abandon him for a random Grindr match in Detroit. If he dumped this man, he would spend the New Year’s Eve all alone in a city full of strangers._

_“Yeah, it’s nice,” Viktor lied without letting his thoughts be seen. He had been in better clubs and at better parties, with better company, too._

_“Glad to hear it, I come here pretty often with my friends,” the man said, his tone indicating he would have a story or two to tell about his clubbing experiences. Viktor didn’t even bother to fake his interest anymore._

_His date probably noticed it, Viktor was sure he had seen a piece of irritation glint in his eyes before he leaned closer to him again, feet brushing his ankle under the table. “But you know, the night’s still pretty young and we don’t have to waste it here,” the man continued, he wasn’t going to let him escape just this easily. “My place is not far from here, I also happen to have lots of booze there. What do you say?”_

_Cursing his own weakness, Viktor opened his mouth for an answer but whatever he was going to say, the words were buried under a loud whistle. Frowning, he turned his eyes in the direction of the sound. The clubbers had seemingly found a new centre of attention on the small stage in the middle of the room – just what could be so special to gain such a reaction? However, when he found the answer, his heart forgot how to function._

_Not that far away from them, a raven-haired boy had climbed high on a stage pole, his body beautifully curved as he leaned dangerously backwards, only relying on his thighs to keep balance. But he didn’t fall, how could he have? He looked like he had been made to dance, his movements so graceful like his body was creating music of its own. To put it simply, he was gorgeous. Viktor has to save that sight to his phone._

_“Okay, someone’s definitely had more drinks than he should. What an attention whore,” the man opposite to him commented spitefully and emptied his glass with one gulp. “Come on, let’s go.”_

_“You go, I’m staying.”_

_“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean? You don’t mean you got interested in that guy all of a sudden?”_

_Viktor didn’t stay to answer his question, he had no reason to waste his time with a guy like that anymore. That one comment had proved it, his date wasn’t only a social climber but also unbelievably blind. The boy on the pole wasn’t someone who should be called an attention whore, no, he was the sun that wanted to spread glee amongst everyone in the club without asking anything in return. Nevertheless, he received quite a generous amount of money when he landed back on the floor, as lightly as a frost spirit. Upon a closer look, he was even more attractive than Viktor initially thought, cheeks flushed and eyes like cinnamon and chocolate, a male equivalent of Snow White. Viktor was ready to give anything to get a kiss from those sweet, pink lips._

_Before Viktor could come up with a witty pickup line, he had locked eyes with the boy and forgot everything about English grammar that instant. A few seconds later, the same boy had rushed down to him, throwing himself at him._

_“You’re Viktor, right? You really are Viktor? I’m not dreaming, am I?” the boy slurred against his neck, at least his ex-date was right about him being completely wasted. Still, there was something extremely adorable about him, the way he nuzzled against him made Viktor almost lose it all. It felt more like he was the one dreaming._

_“Yeah, I’m Viktor. How do you know my name?”_

_The boy tilted his head a little, failing miserably at looking mysterious but ending up being twice as cute. “It’s a secret,” the boy giggled and squeezed him harder. Apparently he was a non-native speaker of English, the accent audible through the slurred words. Viktor guessed he was most likely Japanese. “Ah, but I really got to meet Viktor, I’m so happy! You’re so beautiful, Viktor, you must know that, right? Your skin is so clear, it’s like diamonds – not in Edward Cullen way, though, he looks dumb, you don’t. And you smell so nice, too, why don’t they make a perfume that smells like you, ‘cause I’d buy tons of it! Can I take you home so that I could admire you for the rest of my life?”_

_“I think it’s a bit early for that,” Viktor chuckled, only to freeze when the boy gave him a teary look. “But don’t take me wrong, I’d love to get to know you better. What’s your name, beautiful?”_

_“My name?” the boy repeated confusedly. “You’re right, I do have a name, but for some reason I can’t remember it… Shinzo… no, that’s our current prime minister… Viktor… no, that’s you. My name…”_

_“It’s alright, you’ll remember it at some point,” Viktor hurried when the boy started to look like he was ready for tears. “In the meantime, want to dance with me?”_

_It didn’t take anything more for the boy to beam again at him, to make his heart make a flip. “Sure, let’s dance!”_

_Eyes half-lidded, the boy wrapped his fingers around his wrist and led him a bit further from the centre of the dance floor, to a corner with fewer people around. Instantly, his body gripped the rhythm, his hips pressed against Viktor’s own. It didn’t feel that much like dancing, it was more like the boy was inviting him to his bed, the movements so deliberate he couldn’t have interpreted otherwise. Accepting the offer was off-limits, though, without his consent Viktor wouldn’t lay his hands on the boy. Still, his mind couldn’t stop wondering how it would feel like to be inside of him, how he would sound when he drove him to the edge._

_A smug look took over the boy’s face when he noticed Viktor’s cheeks change into a darker shade of red. Slowly, he turned to face him, wrapping his arms around his neck. He was so close Viktor could feel his heartbeat drumming against his chest._

_“Look only at me, Viktor,” he whispered, his tone suddenly sweet like he was talking to his lover. “Don’t ever take your eyes off me.”_

_“Just how could I look at anyone else, my beautiful stranger?” Viktor murmured back, lowering his hands to the boy’s waist. Oh how much he wanted to kiss him right now._

_The boy opened his mouth to say something again, but this time, the crowd interrupted him. They had started to count down from ten, the numbers flashing on a big screen at the back of the space. Unlike the people around them, Viktor and his mystery boy didn’t lock their lips together when they reached zero. Hands still around each other, they simply stared at one another as though they had just woken up from the most vivid dream and were unsure whether they still had some dust in their eyes._

_To Viktor’s disappointment, the boy detached himself awkwardly from his touch. “Um, I think I should go… My fairy godmother is probably waiting for me.”_

_“Seems like I’ve met a real prince then,” Viktor laughed but failed to sound completely sincere. His heart had started to throb faster again, warningly this time. “Is this fairy godmother of yours also your lover?”_

_“No, no, just a friend,” the boy hurried. His cheeks were painted beautifully red. “I don’t have a lover.”_

_This was unquestionably the best thing Viktor had heard during the entire night._

_“Then I guess I have a chance – if your fairy godmother approves of me, that is. Can I have your number, I’d love to see you again.”_

_“…I don’t think I remember that.”_

_To be honest, Viktor should have expected that. However, he was not going to give up this easily, not after finding a boy so alluring. His life would become miserable if he lost him after a shared moment like this._

_“It’s alright, I could always give you my number.”_

_The boy nodded and pulled his cellphone excitedly out of his pocket but his face fell the moment he tapped the screen. “I… I’ve run out of battery. What should we do…”_

_If one believed in fate, he could have claimed that the universe was trying to affect their future, advise Viktor to let it go. Viktor, however, didn’t belong to that group no matter how he fantasized about true love and such. One’s fate wasn’t absolute, it could always be changed if one was willing to try. For he happened to have one more trump card left, the pen he always carried with him in case he bumped into one of his fans. Gently, he rolled the boy’s sleeve up and wrote his number on his left arm._

_“There you go, now you mustn’t lose it, okay?” Viktor said softly. “Call me when you get sober so that I can take you on a proper date.”_

_Another extra heartbeat, this time caused by the unfamiliar taste on his lips. The kiss lasted only for a short moment so Viktor didn’t get to analyse the flavour, but he was sure he had tasted something sweet underneath the mixture of shots and drinks he couldn’t recognize, something that belonged only to the boy. That something was enough to make him crave for more._

_Withdrawing from him, the boy shared one more smile with him, the most beautiful of them all._

_“I will. I promise.”_

 

 

***

The red light of the camera has been blinking for a while now, recording him for god knows how many minutes. Viktor has never been afraid of the approaching lenses; even though he hasn’t been quite sincere in front of them, he likes to put on a little show for the viewers, form a connection with them despite being unable to see them. This time, though, he feels lost when staring at the dark lens before him, out of words. They all have got stuck in the walls of his throat, it hurts when he tries to get at least some of them out. But talk he must, he can’t keep these feelings inside of him anymore. This isn’t something he can deal with a wide front-page smile.

“Hello everyone,” Viktor mutters, almost startling at the hollow sound of his own voice, strange to his ears. “I, uh… it’s not going that great here. Y-Yuuri left just while ago and I’m not sure if he’ll ever come back.”

Usually, there’s at least one reporter present when Viktor bumps into a person carrying a camera, usually there’s always someone to ask new questions or at least show their compassion with nods or smiles. This time, no one is behind the camera, no one is listening to his sorrows, not even the invisible audience. Acknowledging the fact only makes him cry harder.

Viktor shuts the camera and for a second, considers throwing it at the wall, destroying all the footage it contains of his marriage. He can’t stand the idea of rewatching the moments he has filmed with Yuuri, the moments that were supposed to be sweet and silly but actually were nothing more than results of faked emotions. Did Yuuri think about leaving him every time they kissed, had Yuuri returned mentally to his everyday-life in Detroit already after moving in? What about the time in Barcelona when he told Viktor he liked him? Was that a lie too?

Squeezing his chest, Viktor collapses on the couch, his body trembling as new tears start to flow on his cheeks. The pain has returned, another of those freezing stabs that crush what is left of his heart. Yuuri did the first of them, the biggest of them all, but he is not the only one to blame. The wounds grew deeper after Viktor made the biggest mistake of his life by driving away the love of his life, possibly for good. For Viktor has no idea about Yuuri’s whereabouts, each attempt to contact him has led to a dead end, each attempt to apologize and beg for him to return uttered to silence. Every time the sound of Yuuri’s monotonous answering machine tricked Viktor to believe his prayers would finally be answered and every time his heart broke again.

At this point, he has no more energy left to call Yuuri, the result will be the same no matter how hard he tries. But there is one more option he dares to try, his final attempt to fix the mess he caused. Biting his lip, Viktor manages to hold back the newest burst of tears when he hears the call being picked up.

“Please… help me…”

 

 

***

Some people claim crying helps to get rid of the distressing feelings that have imprisoned one’s heart. Yuuri has never been able to fully agree with them, he can’t think of crying as a purifying experience that fades away everything bad and serves as the step to recovery. Crying leaves him exhausted, his mind dull after the last tears have been shed. His soul empty like all of his emotions had been swept away.

The outside world probably is basking in the sun for hours to come, but Yuuri doesn’t know anything about it, his hideout is dim and quiet despite being in the heart of the city. Yuuri wasn’t picky when he chose the hotel, it was one of the first his gaze touched after stepping out of the bus, eyes red and voice hoarse. Luckily for him, the receptionist didn’t ask him any personal questions when he checked in, although Yuuri could swear she gave his appearance a frowning look at least once. After getting inside his room, he pulled off the wire of the telephone and collapsed on the bed, and has not moved an inch ever since. In spite of his exhaustion, dreams hadn’t offered him a minute of peace.

Slowly, Yuuri runs his fingers on the spot his ring had covered just a while ago. It doesn’t look any different compared to the skin around it, but Yuuri can still feel the metallic touch on it, something that he had taken for granted. Cleaning aside, he never wanted to take the ring off, it was the symbol of his love, something he wanted to carry till the end of time. With Viktor, though, it was impossible. They just weren’t meant to be.

The digital numbers on the television screen change into new ones, reminding him of the fact the experiment is still going on. The final appointment is scheduled around noon tomorrow, but Yuuri doesn’t want to think so far into the future, it makes his head hurt. He should also inform Phichit about moving back to their apartment, it would be rude to just appear outside their door without any notice. Then there is the problem of getting his stuff back to Detroit, he would rather not meet Viktor anymore if them being in the same room only causes pain for both of them. Wincing, Yuuri slams his hand against the throbbing spot next to his forehead. If only he owned a time turner and could skip at least three months to the future when all of this would be over, the cuts in his heart slowly closing up.

If Yuuri were a character in a fantasy novel, someone would probably have arrived to offer him a way to travel to the future right now. But even though he is stuck in the boring reality, someone has come to him, scaring the living daylights out of him with their loud pounding against the door. Yuuri jumps out of the bed and rushes to the phone, ready to plug the wire back in and call the reception to come get rid of the intruder, when a furious voice interrupts him:

_“Open up you shithead, I know you’re in there!”_

Yuuri is uncertain whether it will be a mistake to open the door to Yuri, but on the other hand he doesn’t want to find out what the teenage _yankii_ will do if he disobeys him now. At least he doesn’t attack him immediately when he lets him in.

“Yuri! How… how did you find me?”

“For your information, I’m not an idiot,” Yuri replies and marches past him, evaluating the room around him. “Nor am I overly emotional like you and that damn geezer who is unable to do anything by himself when a real crisis strikes. Secondly, I spend a lot of time watching crime series and detective shows and other cool shit like that and have learnt some useful tricks if I want to find someone or flee from my fangirls. And even though I don’t know much about you, I know how your brain works. You’re one of those people who run away from their troubles instead of facing them and when you’re upset, you flee to a place where you can’t be seen – that happened at the wedding as well. So, where would go when Viktor technically kicked you out of the apartment? Detroit is not an option, it would take too long to get there and people on the train or bus would see you, you wouldn’t want that. That means you should be somewhere in Chicago and since Viktor said you had no friends here, your only option would be a hotel or a hostel. Of course, that’s still too vague, but since you’re not a drama king like Viktor, you’d most likely go for cheaper options. I also posted your picture online and asked whether someone had seen you and ta-dah, I found the right hotel. I only had to bribe the receptionist to tell me your room number, so here I am. It wasn’t even difficult to find you.”

“You really are some Kogoro Akechi,” Yuuri says dryly, it starts to feel embarrassing that he thought he could disappear for good that easily.

Yuri frowns at him. “Who the fuck is that?”

“Practically the Japanese Sherlock Holmes.”

“I take it as a compliment then, not as a sarcastic remark,” Yuri says so seriously it might be funny if the situation were different. “Do you have something to drink here? I got hella thirsty while tracking you down.”

“There’s a minibar in the closet, help yourself,” Yuuri says and sits back on the corner of the bed. Yuri takes the seat opposite of him, sinking into the cheap-looking armchair with a coke on his hand. It feels like Yuuri has been called to meet a wannabe mafia boss.

“Where’s Viktor?” he asks after a while, the words scratching his throat. Yuri takes a big gulp of his drink before replying.

“At the apartment, I left Beka there to look after him. He’s a fucking mess, I have never seen that geezer in a state like that. He even had a panic attack when we got there, but fortunately Beka knew how to deal with him. What a fancy way for us to end our vacation.”

Although Yuuri thought he had no more tears left, something is burning in his eyes again, the thought of Viktor breaking down making his chest ache. Silently, he turns his head away.

“Now, Katsudon, I only have one thing I want to ask you,” Yuri says calmly, laying his coke on the table behind him like he was afraid it might get in the way. A second later, his face is reflecting nothing but fury. “What the actual fuck is wrong with you?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Damn right I don’t!” Yuri yells. “I don’t see any logical explanation to you leaving him! I would get it if he was abusive or didn’t love you or you didn’t love him, but to me it doesn’t seem to be any of those cases! So why don’t you try to fucking explain it to me so that I could at least try to figure out what the hell is going on in your mind?”

Wearily, Yuuri lets the air out of his lungs, although Yuri didn’t say it out loud, he is sure the teen will not leave before he has spoken his mind. “It’s just… I’m not good enough for him.”

“For fuck’s sake, isn’t it _his_ job to decide who’s good enough for him? Okay, can we go home now? This whole thing is fucking ridiculous.”

“You really don’t get anything!” Yuuri shouts at him, indifferent about the fact he is disturbing the people in the room next door. Deep inside of him, hidden under all the pieces of his broken heart there was still a seed of emotions left, something that could grow into a massive force under right circumstances. This time, it evolved into anger.  “How could you possibly understand how I feel, you’re an elite like Viktor, of course you couldn’t see my point of view! Viktor is a celebrity, I’m a mere skating instructor, what would the world say if we were together? They wouldn’t let it happen, they would do everything to destroy it! I couldn’t bear it and I don’t want Viktor to face the anger of his fans! He deserves so much better, I can’t just take him away from the rest of the world!”

Yuuri would probably have had other reasons to share, but he doesn’t get any further, not with Yuri’s hand around his collar.

“You’re fucking egocentric and narrow-minded, Katsudon,” the teen hisses, his aura coloured black with rage. “Claiming people are unable to feel the same things that you do or understand you just because their life is different from yours! Now look here, I don’t know much about love, ‘cause I don’t really care about that shit – unless you count Beka in. But I understand what it’s like when the world doesn’t want you to be with someone. There’s a reason why Beka and I have kept our mouths shut about our relationship. I don’t know if you are aware of my fanbase, the Yuri Angels, but some of the members are fucking scary: they act as though they knew what’s best for me and what isn’t. Just imagine – when I was 15 and performed my exhibition program in the grand prix final, some people online were really angry about my choice of clothing because they thought they were too revealing. But guess who got blamed for it: Beka, not me, because he was the one who took part in the program and some idiots thought he had ruined my oh-so-pure character that never even existed. And because he happens to be a few years older than me, people would go mad if we made our relationship official – they view me as a fucking child even though I turn 18 next year. I would understand it if I was a minor and Beka was 30 or something, but he isn’t and he would never do anything to me I didn’t approve of. Also, now that those fanatics have found out Beka’s a Muslim, they have started some really shitty rumours about him, stories like he’s trying to radicalize me – can you even imagine how fucked up this is? I thought people in the States were the ones who had problems with tolerance but to be honest, we Europeans aren’t any better.”

The grip has loosened the further Yuri’s monologue continues, his tone losing most of its aggressiveness in the process. He suddenly looks so tired, eyes gleaming like tons of painful emotions were storming inside of him and he didn’t know how to handle them. Yuuri wonders whether Yuri has ever got to share his worries with anyone except his boyfriend; Viktor seems to think of him as a younger brother, but something tells him Yuri isn’t really comfortable with talking about his feelings. He opens his mouth to tell he is sorry for them, but the teen silences him with a shake of his head, probably having figured out his words.

“I didn’t tell this to you to fish for sympathy, Katsudon. I just wanted you to know you’re not the only one who needs to go worry about these things. It fucking sucks, I feel so helpless when I can’t do anything much but block those people who talk shit about Beka and _he’s_ the one who suffers here although he claims he doesn’t care. But you know what, we have made up our minds: no matter what they say, we’re going to be together as long as there’s enough love between us. There will always be people who are shitheads and want to ruin your happiness, were it about relationships or not, but what matters here is how you deal with them. So if you really, really want to divorce Viktor, I’m not stopping you, that’s your decision. But if not, then stop fucking hurting him and more importantly, yourself. Just why don’t you allow yourself to be happy if you really want it?”

Yuuri would never have imagined that Yuri Plisetsky, out of all people, would possess such a mature character. Maybe he really was narrow-minded, prejudiced towards other people and way more egocentric than he wants to be. Still, there is one thing left than can’t stop bothering him.

“You know, when we were in Japan, Viktor told me he had received a job offer from France. They would love to have him coach some teenager there…”

“What did Viktor say to them?”

“He said he hadn’t decided yet.”

“And I suppose you don’t want him to go?”

“No, I don’t. But it’s not my place to prevent him from going if he wants to…”

“Jesus Christ, that’s the word, _if_!” Yuri groans loudly. “You don’t even know whether he really wants to move to France or is just flattered that he is offered such an opportunity! So why don’t you fucking tell him how you feel about it – you really don’t know how to talk to each other, do you? You’re right, you can’t prevent him from going, but I’m sure things would end up well if you just opened your mouth! Because I’ve known that damn romance-obsessed ass for almost all my life and I know he would always choose you, in one way or another. How can you even make this so difficult?”

Yuuri doesn’t know the answer the question, but he suspects it has something to do with the most complex emotion in the world: love. He feels ten times more tired than before Yuri’s arrival but at least his chest isn’t hurting as much anymore.

“I think I need to figure out these things by myself before tomorrow. Would you… would you be so kind and tell Viktor to meet up with me at the O’Hare in the morning?”

“I’m not a freaking mailman, but I could make an exception this time,” Yuri says, a ghost of a smile turning the corners of his lips just a little upwards. Stretching his arms, he rises to his feet. “I think I should also go back to Beka and Viktor. Um, I know this might not be the right moment to ask this, but no matter what happens, could you… could you still cook katsudon for Beka and me at some point?”

Yuuri can’t help but smile at the question. “Sure. No matter what happens.”

Yuri flashes him a tiny smirk. “Great, now you can’t take back your words anymore. I’ve learned from Viktor’s forgetfulness and will make sure you keep your promise. But is it possible to make katsudon without pork? Beka doesn’t eat it, you see.”

“I could always make a special dish for him and use chicken instead of pork if that’s okay. It’s a little different, but my mother has cooked that variant a couple of times and it’s almost as good.”

“Chicken will do, but it also should be _halal_ – I could help you get the meat that time, at least I know where they sell _halal_ food here in Chicago. Also, alcohol is off-limits, too, and shouldn’t be used even when preparing a meal. I don’t remember if there are any more restrictions but I’ll ask Beka before we get to taste your cooking.”

“Otabek is really lucky to have a boyfriend like you,” Yuuri says, smiling gently at the teen. He really was wrong about being unable to become friends with him.

Yuri flushes hard at his words. “Don’t be such a sap, I already have to tolerate Viktor and it’s annoying enough, thank you very much.”

“Okay, but I just wanted you to know in case you ever wonder whether you’re good enough for him.”

“You’re still doing it,” Yuri mutters but Yuuri can spot a little smile on his lips as he turns his back at him and walks to the door. Hand on the knob, he stops and turns to glance awkwardly across his shoulder. “Will you… will you be alright?”

“I will,” Yuuri says softly, truthfully. “Thank you for worrying.”

“I’m not!” Yuri barks back. “I’m just… of, for fuck’s sake, never mind! You better make the right decision, goodbye!”

The door slams close after him, the sound of Yuri’s steps echoing in the corridor for a long time before it becomes too quiet to be heard. Slowly, Yuuri walks to the window of his room and pulls the heavy curtains slightly apart. It’s still a little bright outside, the world hasn’t come to its end while he has been hiding.

 

 

***

Airports never seem to face a quiet moment. Even early in the morning they are filled with life, people hurrying to get rid of their heavy luggage, other passengers arguing with the staff at the security check for not wanting to get rid of their water bottles. No matter what time of the day Yuuri arrives to the airport, he can always smell the haste in the air, see the minutes pass even faster than usually. Nevertheless, he likes their atmosphere. The people rushing to their gates all carry a different story about traveling: some are heading for work, some for vacation, some to the arms of their loved ones. Whenever he has time, he loves to observe his co-travellers and entertain himself by guessing where they might be heading and who they’re going to meet first in their destination.

Even though there are quite a many people in the hall, Yuuri spots Viktor easily. He has always been good at finding him among crowds, the one person whom his gaze is constantly looking for and who makes his heart run faster. Yuuri slows his pace a little when he gets closer to him, expression calm despite the presence of the camera. Viktor looks horrible even in his standards, he hasn’t put much effort in his appearance and his face is pale, the twinkle of his eyes gone. Yuuri wonders how much he cried yesterday but regardless of wanting to pull him into a living embrace, he keeps his distance.

”Hi…”

”Hi,” Viktor repeats quietly. He isn’t inviting him for a hug, either. ”I thought you might not come.”

“I told I would come, I had to. We still have one more appointment left.”

“Yeah… one more appointment,” Viktor says aloofly, not looking him in the eye. “Come, we must not miss the flight.”

They spend the whole way to New York in silence, the first words exchanged after arriving at LaGuardia, the topic so trivial Yuuri forgets the words immediately. The drive to Manhattan isn’t much more cheerful, either, with both of them staring outside the window of their side, hands strictly far from each other so that accidental touches would be avoided. Viktor is still wearing his ring but hasn’t said anything about Yuuri’s missing one, nor offered it back, so Yuuri leaves the topic be. At this point, he can’t feel nervous about the upcoming anymore.

After getting inside the building, they are guided to a waiting hall and left alone to pass time before their turn; apparently there was some fuss during the first appointment, so they are a little behind the timetable. Yuuri lets his gaze wander on the clean forms of the space, the memory of the nervous wait of his first interview still clear. He almost wants to ask whether Viktor felt nervous on that day, too, but refrains after catching a glimpse of his tired, glass-like eyes. Instead, he moves his attention to the couple passing by them, the man smirking brightly at the woman in his arm. Their steps are quite bouncy like they had just been told they had won the jackpot in lottery.

“Applying for the show was the best decision of my life!” the man says so loudly that no one in the building couldn’t miss his words, the proudness clear in his tone. “Just watch, Bella, my sweetheart – I’m going to have a big house built for us so that there will be enough room for us to raise a family together! Our sons will definitely be as handsome as their father and our daughters as beautiful and clever as their mother!”

“Oh, JJ!”

Viktor glares spitefully after them but doesn’t say anything.

“Viktor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katsuki?”

Yuuri raises his gaze, a woman of the production team has arrived to them, gesturing them to follow her. He wonders whether the previous couple arrived in front of the experts hand in hand, for he and Viktor don’t.

The discussion shared with the three experts lasts longer than Yuuri initially thought, the themes all connected to their five-week-long experience of sharing their lives as a married couple. Usually, Viktor is the more talkative of the two of them when put in a communication situation, but this time, he replies with short sentences without getting side-tracked or giving the experts as much information as they are craving. Yuuri can tell they are close to their limits, too, especially Sara. Although in a minor role in the series, the expert trio has probably worked harder than anyone else in the whole production.

“So, Viktor and Yuuri,” Sara says finally, somehow able to keep the smile on, “now it’s time for you to decide the future of your marriage. Tell us, do you want to stay married or do you feel it’s better for you to separate?”


	13. All because we’re in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I understand the situation might not be easy for you,” Sara began nervously, failing at keeping her face calm. “Do you… do you want to take a minute or…”
> 
> “No, I think we can do this right now,” Yuuri said quickly. “Could I start?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I were to use a meme here, I’d probably choose “You’re Are Safe Now My Sweet Child”, for we have come to the grand finale and everything will be okay! *laughs* It feels so unbelievable that I have finally finished the story; just look at the word count, what the fuck me??
> 
> Since we’re at the end of the story, I can now look back at peace and reminisce the process of planning the fic. Tbh, I was a little anxious about how people would react if I wrote Yuuri as demi for if you’ve ever seen the oh-so-wonderful ace discourse on Tumblr, it’s not anything nice to read for people on the ace spectrum. And I remember that last winter, somebody on the said site caused lots of irritation by headcanoning Yuuri as an ace character, so I was a little worried that people would start hating me or wouldn’t read the story if I did the same. But nevertheless, I picked the “fuck it, I’m gonna do it anyway” route, because I wanted to believe I could make at least some (ace) people happy with it. And what really delights me is that none of you has said anything mean to me about Yuuri’s demisexuality in this fic, so thank you, thank you so much for being so mature and lovely! (I should probably knock on wood now, though :’)). Remember, people: representation matters!
> 
> Having talked about the past, I could probably say a few words about the future as well! First I could quote Sara by saying “I really need a proper vacation” since working intensely on a story can be draining as hell. That said, I still want to continue writing for this fandom and I’ve been thinking of a new story a bit. It would be another AU, dealing with spies and secret identities and would have Viktor as the protagonist. It would also be a bit darker one, but naturally Yuuri & Viktor would fall in love and get their happy ending. I still need to do some research and connect plot points to get a reasonable picture of the events of the story, so I guess I should begin working on it at some point during fall. So, if you’d like to read something like that, please let me know, so it’s more likely that the story actually happens! (Also, I’d love to do a Beauty & The Beast! AU, although fics like that already exist and although my beta is probably all fed up with my fairy tale obsession *sigh*).
> 
> A huge thank you to everyone who has stayed with me during this project, you guys are lovely! I hope I can interact with you in the future as well! ♥ Also, a big thank you and a big hug to my lovely beta Spigu who once again did an excellent job and without whom this would never have happened!

_Late September, Detroit:_

_“Why did you do that?”_

The dark-haired man on the television screen shoots an extremely irritated glare at the man between him and the shelf full of oils. The rise of his anger can be easily observed from the screen, from the way he squints his eyes behind his glasses, from the way his body tenses just a little as though he was desperately trying to keep all the negative emotions in a little ball instead of letting them roar freely.

_“I just said that it was the cheapest one they have!”_

_“Yes, but this olive oil is disgusting. I don’t want it,”_ the silver-haired man replies, readjusting himself in front of the shelf so that the bottle in the shopping cart can’t be replaced anymore. His whole aura is radiating silent anger, its levels slowly growing. The camera zooms back to the dark-haired man opposite to him, almost calling the watcher to pick a side in their fight. Yuuri turns his gaze away from the screen and leans closer to the glassy coffee table to get his phone, the sounds of the ridiculous quarrel echoing in his ears. He already knows whose side the audience has picked when he logs into Twitter and starts browsing through the tag for _Married at First Sight._

_@allison_ally88: Oh boy, Viktor and Yuuri are so not gonna stay together! LMAO!_ _#MAFS #oliveoilgate_

_|_

_@viktor-fan1: Ikr! Their chemistry sucks, Viktor deserves so much better! Yuuri’s boring and plain!!_

_@Juliehime: Why’s Yuuri so mean? :( If I were married to Viktor, I’d let him spoil me rotten! #MAFS_

_|_

_@_Blue__Fairy_: Are you kidding me? Viktor’s acting more like a sugar daddy than a husband! Of course Yuuri’s annoyed!_  
|  
_@Carbagehell: No chance for @Juliehime: @v-nikiforov is gay._

 _|_  
_@Lord_Snowing: LMAO! :’DD #BURN! @ v-nikiforov did you see this?_  
_|_  
_@Lord_Snowing: Also, sugar daddy Viktor ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  Why kinkshame, @_Blue__Fairy_?_

_@3lvira: Guesses who’ll stay together and who’ll divorce in #MAFS? I bet Viktor & Yuuri divorce and everyone else stays married.  
|_

_@normie95: Agreed! Mila and Aleksey are real couple goals!_ ♥ _  
|_

 _@_YAOI_rules123: And when we finally got a real gay couple on #MAFS. So disappointed! :(_  
|  
_@Mirrorlocking: Hmm… Doubt it will be that simple. I’d say Mila & Aleksey separate and the others stay together._  
_|_  
_@normie95: @Mirrorlocking, lmao, did you even watch the show??_

_@JJ_fangirl97: OMG, doesn’t JJ just look dreamy from every angle? So jealous of Isabella! #MAFS_

_|_

_@viktor-fan1: @JJ_fangirl97, go home, ur drunk!_

 

_@alex-in-hiding: Okay, I know I should be interested in the couples but damn @sara-crispino is hot! Would love to have a sex therapist like that! ;) #MAFS  
|_

_@jaehee-w: Lol dude, @sara-crispino’s lesbian. Tough luck. :D  
|  
@sara-crispino: That’s right, I also happen to be happily taken. _ ♥ _Also, @alex-in-hiding, I hope you get rid of that attitude before [1/2]_  
|  
_visiting a sex therapist ‘cause otherwise they will never want to help you no matter how urgent your issue is. :) [2/2]_

 

_@jayroberts: Must suck for Viktor to be married to one of those special snowflake eunuchs who won’t even have sex with ya. Hope they divorce. #MAFS_

_|_

_@leo_97: @jayroberts too bad they didn’t pick YOU on the expert team, your empathy skills are sooo great._

_|_

_@+guanghongji+: @jayroberts, I’ll send Jigoku Shoujo after your douche ass._

_|_

_@nishigori-yuuko: Even my 8-year-old kids know how to behave online, shame on you @jayroberts_

_|_

_@phichit+chu: There’s a place in hell for people who talk shit about Yuuri Katsuki. Fuck you, @jayroberts!_

_|_

_@yuri-plisetsky_ _: @jayroberts, fuck you! If you want ‘em to divorce so that you’d have a chance with Viktor, I’ll tell ya a thing: he would never look at you!_

 

“Darling, I think it’s best if you don’t read what they write online.”

Yuuri turns his head to the direction of the voice, his husband has appeared behind the couch, concern making him frown. Yuuri shakes his head gently and grips his hand, kissing the back of it. The surface of the ring feels cool against his lips, the taste of gold always so sweet. They had the rings engraved just last week and now the inside of them is decorated with two halves of a snowflake that match perfectly when the rings lay one on the other. Yuuri got the bottom half and ended up becoming the target of Viktor’s endless teasing until he threatened him to get by with his toys from now on. It didn’t take even two seconds for his husband to kneel before him and beg for forgiveness.

(In the end, Yuuri did forgive him but not before acting reluctant to put out and driving Viktor into a desperate, needy state.)

“It’s alright, Vitya.”

“But baby…”

“I mean it,” Yuuri says firmly. “You know, I actually care less about the opinions of others than I initially thought. Besides, it’s pretty amusing to see people betting whether we stay together or not. A lot of them would lose their money.”

“So it seems,” Viktor chuckles, “serves them right. Also, remind me that we have to send a nice morning after selfie to that Jay Roberts or whatever his name was after the season has aired on TV and we are allowed to go fully public with our relationship.”

“We’re not sending him one, nor to anyone else. But you can always tweet to him later if you don’t write anything overly rude or lecherous.”

“I can’t promise to not be rude after he talked that way about you,” Viktor says in a low voice, eyes squinting like he was making a detailed murder plan inside his head. The expression disappears in a few seconds, though, making way to a wide beam. Yuuri doesn’t even want to know what he has come up with now.

“What about we invite him to our second wedding to show off our love? Do you think he would come?”

Yuuri forbids his husband from inviting Jay Roberts or anyone they don’t know to the wedding, although the mental image of their dumbstruck expressions is slightly entertaining. Soon after the experiment had ended, he and Viktor agreed it would be mandatory to have another wedding to wipe away the memories of the horrifying experience of being wed in front of the television cameras. Of course, Viktor also wanted to get a better reception location for them, since the hall where the wedding was shot wasn’t exactly the most romantic place available. Both Chris and Phichit had also nominated themselves as their best men and this time they wanted to make sure Yuuri’s family would be able to take part in the ceremony. Naturally the wedding wouldn’t happen until next summer, but according to the few married people in Yuuri’s group of friends they would still get busy. Yuri did once suggest they should continue the tradition of linking reality television to their matrimony and sign up for _Bridezillas_ this time. He was a little disappointed when Yuuri told him the show had stopped airing years ago.

“But still, I think summer is too far away,” Viktor whines like he just read Yuuri’s thoughts and leans over the back of the sofa to wrap his arms around Yuuri’s neck. “Is there any way we could make the wedding day earlier? I’m Viktor Nikiforov, you know, if I paid the planners enough, then…”

“Vitya, you can manage to wait,” Yuuri sighs. “Besides, I’m already married to you, so why are you so impatient? But,” he continues after feeling Viktor pout against his cheek, “I think the wait will feel less long if we practice a lot for our wedding night. I… I could even wear a garter for you if you’d like.”

Yuuri almost regrets the suggestion the moment it escaped his lips for Viktor squeezes him so hard he loses all the oxygen inside him. “Oh, Yuuri, my love, I’d like that very much! Please, my beautiful husband, could we get you a whole lingerie set? You’d look so lovely in it!”

“Fine,” Yuuri gasps when he is finally released from Viktor’s choking grip. “But on one condition: we’ll get one for you, too. I’d love to see you wear one, too…”

“That sounds even better, your wish is my command,” Viktor says smugly and leaves a quick kiss on Yuuri’s cheek. “I’ll check straight away if I could order something nice online…”

Yuuri leaves him on it and lets his consciousness sink somewhere where background sounds quiet down and where memories from the last three months become more vivid like he was experiencing them again. Leaning against the back of the couch, the space around him loses all its cosiness and transforms into an office located inside one of the highest buildings in Manhattan, a ripple of anxiousness flowing up his spine. That time, the feeling wasn’t born of him, though, its source was sitting on the leather armchair next to him. Viktor definitely heard the question Sara had just made, but his expression was frozen, his whole body unable to move. Yuuri was afraid he might break at any minute.

 _“I understand the situation might not be easy for you,”_ Sara began nervously, failing at keeping her face calm. _“Do you… do you want to take a minute or…”_

 _“No, I think we can do this right now,”_ Yuuri said quickly. _“Could I start?”_

_“Sure, go ahead, Yuuri.”_

Not waiting for other instructions, Yuuri turned to his right, able to see the fear flash in Viktor’s eyes when he forced himself to meet his gaze. Gently, Yuuri took his hands in his own.

_“Viktor, you were right about what you said about me – I was cruel to you, much crueller than you’d have deserved and I want to apologize for my behaviour. I was selfish, I should have talked to you about my feelings earlier so that we could have sorted things out better. But what I said to you earlier was not a lie – you really are better than anyone in the world and I love you so much my heart feels like bursting. I’m still scared for the future and think there would be better spouses available for you, but if… if you give me one more chance, I promise I’ll become worthy of you. I understand if you don’t want that anymore and wish to not see me ever again, but if…”_

_“You really mean that?”_ Viktor interrupted him, tears flowing down his face. _“You’re not lying to me now? You really love me and are not going to leave me again?”_

_“No, I’m not lying to you. If… If you’ll have me, I promise to stay by your side.”_

A shadow had cast itself on Yuuri’s face, a dark cloud that carried dozens of raindrops inside of it and was ready to release all of them to water the soil underneath it. Before he could realize what was happening, something heavy was pressed against him, the movement so sudden both he and the armchair lost their balance and fell to the floor. A few days later, Yuuri would find bruises on his back, but at that moment he was unable to think of pain. At least he hadn’t hit his head, for someone had been able to protect it with his tender hands. When Viktor clung to him, his body trembling in the wave of released fear, Yuuri knew he had been forgiven.

 _“Oh my god, are you alright?”_ Sara cried out and tried to rise from her chair, but Georgi pushed her back down.

_“Don’t worry, they seem fine to me.”_

_“I don’t know about you, but I feel like I’ve missed something big,”_ Seung-gil said flatly. _“We need to have a proper talk with our couple after they have got up.”_

 _“Yes, but let’s wait a little longer,”_ Georgi said, the smile audible from his voice. _“My dear colleagues, right now you are witnessing a rare sight of love.”_

If the situation were different, Yuuri might have started to giggle at the comment. Instead, he wrapped his arms tighter around his husband.

 _“You’re so stupid, Yuuri, so so stupid,”_ Viktor whispered close to his lips. _“You have been worthy of me from the very beginning.”_

After they got back to Chicago, Yuuri and Viktor finally sat at the kitchen table to discuss their future in a more reasonable manner. It was decided they would move to Detroit since Yuuri was reluctant to quit his job as a skating instructor and leave all his pupils behind. Initially, he was a little worried how Viktor would adjust to the new environment, but things went better than he had dared to hope. Celestino hired Viktor to work at the Ice Castle the moment he heard Yuuri would return to the city with the biggest star of the figure skating history and in addition to coaching the kids, Viktor was able to start working on new choreographies for various people. Needless to say, the parents were overly excited when they were told Viktor would start teaching their children, more excited than the kids themselves. Yuuri’s students were a little prejudiced towards him at first, fearing Yuuri would be unable to give them attention anymore now that his husband had joined the work community of the ice rink, but fortunately they warmed up quickly for him. Still, they get to shoot annoyed remarks every now and then if Yuuri forgets himself in Viktor’s arms for too long during their classes.

The work environment wasn’t the only thing that helped Viktor adapt to his new life – since most of Yuuri’s friends dwell in Detroit, he also received a bunch of new acquaintances when he moved to the city. Yuuri is happy to see he gets along with everyone, especially the younger skaters of the group who are always eager to ask for tips to improve their skills and beat Yuri in major competitions one day. The only one who sometimes get annoyed by his presence is Phichit, for ever since Leo and Guang-Hong started dating, he has been the only single in the group. Yuuri once joked he should apply for the next season of _Married at First Sight_ , but his best friend replied he would rather stay a bachelor than go through the same reality television hell Yuuri had experienced. After all, his only problem was feeling left out when others around him started to act in a too lovey-dovey way, so Viktor agreed on being less intimate with Yuuri in public and now they are certainly heading in a better direction.

Yuuri still keeps in touch with Sara, their relationship becoming friendlier now that she has dropped the role of his relationship therapist (although she is always ready to offer him tips to improve his communication in case he has had a quarrel with Viktor). She is currently dating Mila Babicheva, one of the participants of the latest season of _Married at First Sight_. They sent Yuuri a picture full of glee and sun from Thailand in August, fulfilling Sara’s dream of enjoying a little bit of luxury before returning to her studies in New York. According to her, the things between them and Mila’s ex-husband were a little strained for a while (“It must have been a shock for his heterosexual masculinity to hear his wife was bisexual all along, sometimes men are really stupid – no offense, Yuuri.”), but apparently they are quite civil now. Yuuri is a little worried for the media rumba that awaits for them when the season stops airing and people will find out about their relationship; soon everyone will forget the fact Viktor married a “plain-looking nobody” as some people on Twitter referred to him. Sara, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to be concerned about the response at all. People will forget the moment another big gossip starts spreading, she says, how else would all the celebrities still be admired? In addition to that, Georgi and Seung-gil have promised to be there for her in case things gets too stressful to bear alone.

“Ordered, they should arrive at some point during next week!” Viktor exclaims happily and makes Yuuri return his thoughts to the present. “Oh, did you see how they zoomed in your glare when I said I would make you a fine meal using that certain olive oil? These effects look so stupid, I never get used to them.”

“I know,” Yuuri says, snorting. “Just wait until we get to the episode where we had the appointment with Georgi and you started to praise me. I can already see the memes coming: all those pictures of my unamused face with texts such as ‘I am dead inside’ underneath them.”

“Well, I’m sure there will be memes of me as well. At least ‘olive oil gate’ is trending on Twitter right now. But when the final episode is aired, I’m banning Twitter from you. I’m not even sure whether I want to see that episode; even though our fight won’t be there, it still feels too painful to watch it since it reminds me of the day you broke my heart.”

Yuuri groans and turns his eyes back to his husband, he knows that look, that overly dramatic way to gain his attention although the topic was already handled ages ago. That said, he might deserve being teased about it for a little longer.

“Just how long are you going to remind me of it?”

“A while,” Viktor says with a wide grin. “I’m even going to tell the story to our grandchildren. My heart is a fragile thing, you see, and it’s going to take time for it to be healed.”

Exhaling, Yuuri lays his glasses on the coffee table and brushes his bangs away from his forehead. His body is starting to feel warmer when he locks his eyes with his husband. “Then I guess I should make it up to you so many times that you are finally able to forget the pain.”

“Oh, I like your proposition,” Viktor says mischievously and leans closer to him, his voice all velvety. “When are you planning to start?”

Yuuri glances quickly at the television screen, the commercial break is just about to start and the preview promises to show how Jean-Jacques Leroy’s task of assembling Ikea furniture continues. Yuuri doesn’t even need to see the scene to know the man’s attempt to brag to his wife will lead to a disaster. Smirking to himself, he turns off the television.

“Right now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you might have noticed, every chapter title is from a different song (guess you can judge my taste in music now, haha). So now that the whole thing is finished, here’s a more or less legit “soundtrack list” for the story:
> 
> 1\. Someday my prince will come – Barbra Streisand (orig. by Adriana Caselotti, from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)
> 
> 2\. Fools Rush In – Bow Wow Wow (Kevin Shields remix) (orig. by Rube Bloom & Johnny Mercer)
> 
> 3\. Death of a Bachelor – Panic! At the Disco
> 
> 4\. Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) – Beyoncé
> 
> 5\. Euphoria – Loreen 
> 
> 6\. Jos mun pokka pettää – Haloo Helsinki! (freely translated)
> 
> 7\. Teenage Dream – Katy Perry 
> 
> 8\. Kato mua silmiin – Reino Nordin (freely translated)
> 
> 9\. Lovers in Japan – Coldplay
> 
> 10\. Truly Madly Deeply – Savage Garden
> 
> 11\. Sweetest Devotion – Adele 
> 
> 12\. Goodbye to Yesterday – Elina Born & Stig Rästa
> 
> 13\. Lullaby of Birdland – Ella Fitzgerald (orig. by B.Y. Foster & George Shearing

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos & comments are appreciated :> Also, come say hi to me on [Tumblr!](http://sophiafrederica.tumblr.com)


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